Risk & Reward (Bedroom Games)

by Alisha Rai

  He didn’t want to be here. No, he wanted to be here, on the carpet, with Tatiana on top, but he didn’t want to be here, in this moment.

  Her breasts trembled with the force of her emotions. “This is important. I know that you hate that I’m confrontational and loud, but this is important.”

  He clenched his jaw. “I do hate when you’re loud.” The admission was dragged out of someplace deep inside of him.

  She blanched. He closed his eyes in order to block out the sheen covering her own. The sight made him want to rip his chest open and offer her his heart.

  But when she yelled in anger, it was all he could do not to run.

  Her small hands patted his face. They were callused from the work she did, a contrast to the rest of her soft, delicate body. “I told you to leave. That last time. Do you remember?”

  How could he ever forget? The scene played out behind his closed eyes. A younger version of the woman on top of him, angry and crying and screaming at him. I can’t take this anymore, Wyatt! We’re done. Get out. “And I did.” They’d never spoken again. Not even to exchange the things they’d kept at each other’s places. A week later, after packing everything in his rusty Civic, he’d headed west.

  “Don’t you ever wonder what happened to us?”

  “We were young. We weren’t able to handle that kind of a serious relationship.”

  She tsked. “That diminishes us both.”

  “We had problems. We didn’t know how to deal with them.” Wetness dripped on his cheeks. Her tears. God, how he hated her tears.

  “I think we still don’t know how to deal with them.”

  When his eyes flew open, Tatiana swallowed. They were hot and anguished, the cold and controlled Wyatt gone.

  She adored this man, the man he’d grown up to be. She probably loved him, though she refused to even contemplate that seriously until they got past this stumbling block in the middle of their path.

  “We didn’t have many serious problems, not ’til I graduated high school.” They’d fought then, but they’d been fights that had often ended in steamy make-out sessions in the backseat of Wyatt’s car, quickly forgotten and forgiven in the midst of their rioting hormones.

  Wyatt looked so uncomfortable, Tatiana almost let him up. But he was a big boy, and she figured if he really wanted to run, he could toss her off and run already.

  His nod was curt. “I remember our problems.”

  “Do you remember us fighting?” She placed her finger over his lips. “Or really, us apologizing, or using what we fought about to move forward? I remember the former. Me yelling. And you, either making sarcastic comments that only made me madder or storming off until we both cooled down.” Her shrug was jerky. “I can’t sustain my mad for long. So I would calm down. And we’d push that problem aside until something else happened. Nothing would ever get resolved.”

  He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m… I don’t know what to say. Is that really how you remember things? That we broke up because we didn’t fight?”

  “More like, we fought, but not in any constructive way.” She grimaced. “Do you know what I mean?”

  He stilled, his gaze far away.

  “Wyatt?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing. I-I said something earlier to Esme….” His thumb traced over her cheek, wiping away the wetness of her tears. “Come here.” He pulled her closer until she was lying down on top of him. Her face rubbed over the fine cotton of his shirt. She gave a spare thought to the snot and makeup she’d leave on it, but she knew he wouldn’t care.

  His hand smoothed up her back, his fingers scratching her skin the way he knew she loved. “I do remember you yelling.”

  She winced. “I know.”

  “I don’t want this to end.” His voice was quiet. “I know we haven’t been together long, but I’m falling for you.”

  “Are you? Or are you only falling for me when it’s easy to fall for me?” The question was brave of her. Brave, because she feared the answer so much.

  “What kind of a question is that?”

  “Look at our track record. We’re not good at handling things when the going gets tough.”

  “That’s not true. Some marriages don’t last as long as our relationship did.”

  “But it didn’t last forever,” she pointed out.

  “That doesn’t mean we can’t make things work now.”

  She softened, attuned to his upset. “I don’t want this to end either. That’s why I think it’s important to not repeat the mistakes we made before. We have a second chance, Wyatt. We shouldn’t blow it.”

  There was silence as he rubbed his fingers over her neck, but she could practically feel Wyatt’s clever brain thinking.

  “I hate shouting,” he finally said.

  No, he never yelled or shouted. He motivated employees by treating them with respect and hitting them with his icy displeasure.

  “I know,” Tatiana replied.

  “I’ve gotten better at handling my reaction, but…you make me feel like I’m a nineteen-year-old again. That’s great when it comes to my cock, but probably not for my emotional maturity.”

  Her lips curled up. “Yeah.”

  Wyatt hesitated. “One of the first things I did after I was financially stable was visit a psychiatrist.”

  She tensed, eager to look him in the eyes after words like that, but he held her pressed tight to his chest. She gave in after a brief moment, willing to give him whatever he needed.

  “It wasn’t about you. Not entirely at least. I was in a bad place, overall. Most of it was tied to my dad and the way I was raised.” He paused. “I stopped going to see her after a few visits because I got busy, but it was helpful anyway. It was the first time I ever spoke about my family to anyone.”

  She didn’t dare breathe, for fear that he would stop talking. Over the course of their long previous relationship, Tatiana could count on one hand the times Wyatt had talked about his father. She’d never been allowed to meet the man, though she’d known of him by reputation and had caught glances of him around town.

  He’d moved out of his dad’s house when he was eighteen. At that time, she’d been titillated by the idea of her cool older boyfriend living on his own. When she’d matured and made comments about their estranged relationship, Wyatt’s rebuffs had been so intimidating she hadn’t pushed for more.

  “Talking about it helped me sort of put things in perspective. Helped me process why I react the way I do to things sometimes. You’re right. It’s true, I shut down when people yell, but it’s probably because…” He breathed out roughly, his chest rising and falling beneath her cheek. “I don’t remember my father when he wasn’t shouting. Some people get mean when they drink, but he would get loud. Loud and angry. I hated that. Hated the noise.”

  She licked her dry lips. “I’m so sorry.” Guilt churned within her, every moment she’d ever raised her voice to this man replaying in her head.

  “It’s not you. You were and are being yourself. I’m the one who—” He made a frustrated sound. “Stands to reason that I hate fights, right? Confrontation is fine, I have to confront people every day, but usually I hold the power there. It’s different when I can’t…”

  “When you can’t what?” Tatiana prompted him when he closed his eyes, his dark brows drawn together, as if in pain.

  His adam’s apple bobbed. “When I can’t walk away.” He looked at her, stricken. “You’re right. I’m the one who screwed everything up last time.”

  Unable to handle his distress, she shook her head. “No. It was my fault. I had no idea I was traumatizing you.” But she should have. She’d been an overdramatic idiot sometimes, but she’d known that he was emerging from a dysfunctional household. She sniffed, and a tear splashed onto his thick forearm.

  He pulled her up. His eyes were red, though she saw no tears. “Hey, don’t cry.” He searched for words. “I did walk away back then. The minute I started to feel uncomfortable. Just like I
tried to walk away last night, when I could tell you were angry. I’m the ass.”

  She cupped his face. “You’re not an ass.”

  Clearly wracked with guilt, he shook his head. “Should have told you then.”

  “I may not have understood. I was pretty dumb, Wyatt.”

  He snorted. “Not dumb. Young.”

  “And so were you.” She grasped his shoulders and searched his gaze. “We aren’t any longer, though.”

  “No. We aren’t.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t only want you when it’s easy or convenient. Please, believe me. This isn’t easy. But I’m here.”

  Tatiana pressed her lips together. “That’s promising, because I’m not sure if I could keep this up forever. I was trying so hard to keep everything smooth and happy for the past few months. Stay nice. Don’t get mad. Don’t get cranky.” She sighed. “It was exhausting.”

  His hands stopped in midstroke on her back. “I was doing the same thing. I’d get bugged by something, but instead of talking to you about it, I’d shove it down.”

  “We can’t live like that. I mean, we’re doing this, right? Knowing that it won’t always be smooth sailing and that we’ll have problems?”

  A hand curled over her ass. “We’re doing this.”

  The spurt of pleasure at his cool announcement was not unexpected. “Then we have to figure out a way to learn to disagree. Or I’m going to stab you one day when you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle.”

  His fingertips slipped under the waistband of her panties. “That would not be pleasant.”

  “We should set some ground rules. I think you do well with structure.”

  His chest vibrated beneath her. The tension that had gripped him had lessened, she could feel it. “I do.”

  “I won’t yell at you anymore.” She dropped a kiss on each cheek to punctuate the solemn vow. “I mean, I might, but I’ll make a conscious effort not to. And if I start to turn shrill and it’s bugging you, say the word and I’ll put myself in timeout.”

  He raised a dark eyebrow. “Like a safe word for fighting?”

  She seized on the concept. “Yes! Exactly like that.” She thought about it. “The safe word is ‘bacon.’”

  “You pick the most bizarre safe words.”

  She kissed him, her tongue flicking against his teasingly.

  He pulled back, solemn. “I’ll work on not disappearing every time things get heated. Today was miserable.”

  “I’m going to safe word you if you try to run away,” she threatened.

  He hugged her closer. “Either that or take your top off, and I’m sure I’ll stick around.”

  Tatiana narrowed her eyes. “Oh no.” She propped herself up on his chest and shook her finger at him. “That’s another avoidance technique we need to get rid of. No solving problems with sex.”

  “Aw, shucks, Ms. Tatiana,” he whined. “Really?”

  “Really.” Her breath caught when he craned his neck up and captured her finger between his very white teeth.

  Slowly, he sucked her finger into his mouth, his cheeks hollowing. He pulled back, his teeth scraping over the pad. “But angry fucking is kind of hot.”

  “I can still slap you during sex even if I’m not pissed at you.”

  His eyes flashed, and his hands went to her hips. He dragged her down his body until she could feel his erection. “I think you can tell how I feel about that.”

  She grinned. Their problems weren’t at all solved, but her chest felt curiously light. “Liked that, did you?”

  “You hit like a girl. Which, during sex, is perfect.”

  His cock was notched into her slit. If it wasn’t for her panties and his trousers, he’d be inside of her. “I’m not going to angry fuck you so you won’t run away.”

  His sigh was deep. “Fine. I won’t run away. You can even tie me up if I look like I’m going to bolt.”

  Aww, yeah. That brought some lovely images to mind. “Sold,” she responded immediately. “Can I tie you up now?”

  He laughed but stopped when she rubbed her pussy against him in a slow grind. His eyes darkened and dipped to her cleavage. “I told you. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I don’t want to argue with you. I want to fuck you.”

  “Trust me, I’ll stay put even if you don’t tie me up.”

  “Please?” She nibbled his ear, inhaling the scent of him, posh cologne and rugged manliness.

  He attempted to resist, the tease. “That isn’t how we usually do things.”

  “But I want it.” She tugged at his earlobe with her teeth.

  “You’re making so many valid arguments today.”

  Tatiana sat up and tugged at his tie. “Get up.”

  “Are we done talking?”

  “We’re never done talking. I just think it’s unfair when we don’t let our bodies talk, too.”

  “We don’t want to be unfair.” He brought himself into a seated position and waited for her to unknot and slip his tie free. She shuddered at the sound of the silk swishing against itself, knowing that restraint was approaching.

  His restraint, not hers this time. Oh, the novelty.

  “This is hot.” She set the tie aside and unbuttoned his shirt.

  He shrugged it off. “What is?”

  She rubbed her hands over the crinkly sprinkling of dark hair, thrilled to find the rough brown points of his nipples hard and waiting for her. She bit at the nipples, sharp nips designed to echo the way he went at her own tits.

  He hissed and pressed her head closer. “Harder.”

  She set her teeth and tugged at the nub, and he groaned.

  Tatiana lifted her head. “I feel hopeful and reassured. About us. That’s hot. I want to kiss you and lick you and fuck you. Seal the deal, you know?”

  “Sealing deals is very important. Please, proceed.” He wrapped his hand around her neck and brought her lips to his. The kiss was desperate and harsh, both of them needing an outlet for their adrenaline and cathartic relief.

  Yeah. Their bodies really needed to have their own pow-wow.

  He kissed and bit his way down her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access, whimpering when he nipped at the curve of her breast. He pushed her tits together and buried his face between them, rubbing his skin against her as if to absorb her scent.

  He paused and drew away, his glittering black eyes matching the glitter of the small emerald he held beneath his teeth. She gave a half laugh. “How did that get in there?”

  Wyatt had a fine appreciation for money, but he pulled the stone out of his teeth and tossed it aside, all of his attention on her. “If you want me tied up, you better do it now, before I search you for more gems.”

  Gulping, she stood, his tie in her hand. “Take off your pants.” She heard the sound of a zipper rasping open and fabric hitting the floor behind her as she headed to the dining room. She grasped a heavy chair—and, as an afterthought, a napkin from a place setting—and brought it back to where he stood, naked.

  She paused, appreciating his hard muscles and thick, long cock. He wrapped his hand around it and stroked down, well aware he was taunting her.

  Tatiana shook her head. “Sit down?” She cleared her throat. “I mean. Sit your ass down, Caine.”

  Smirking, he strolled over, waiting for her to unfurl the napkin and carefully cover the seat. “You don’t have to be so fastidious.”

  Trying to recover her aplomb, she gave him a sultry look from beneath her lashes. “But things might get wet.”

  He licked his lips, his gaze dropping to the crotch of her panties. “Things are already getting wet.”

  “They are.”

  She walked around behind his chair and eyed the way his big hands looked crossed. When she tightened the silk around his thick wrists, her panties became damper.

  “You’re, uh, tying those a little tight.”

  “It wouldn’t be fun if you could get out easily.”

  She came to stand in front of
him and stroked his face with the back of her hand.

  His eyes were roving all over her as if he didn’t know where to look first. To congratulate him on his willingness to experiment, she pulled the thin triangles of her bra down so her nipples were fully exposed. “Sorry for the tan lines,” she purred.

  His cock jerked. “Which swimsuit did you wear today?”

  “The pink one.”

  “I like the pink one. I’m booking the adults’ pool here one night.”

  “No one would see us?”

  “Unless you want them to.” His watchful eyes caught her swift inhale. “Ah. You like that thought. It’s the watching thing, right? You want them to watch me fuck you until you can’t walk straight. You want them to see you beg for this cock.”

  She bit her lip, almost hard enough to taste blood. “Yes.”

  He cocked his head. “Do you want other people to touch you, too?”

  Tatiana nodded, once. Her hands cradled her breasts, massaging the heavy weight. “Only if you want them to touch me.”

  “What if I wanted you to suck off another man while I fucked you?”

  Her hand drifted down her belly, under the waistband of her panties. Her mouth felt swollen and empty. She licked her lips. “I would…I would be okay with that.”

  “And if it was a woman? If I told you to play with another woman’s tits and pussy?”

  Her belly contracted, and she toyed with her swollen clit, imagining it was another woman’s. “I would be okay with that, too.”

  “You would do that for me?”

  “No.” Getting fucked while others watched. Wyatt, barking orders at her and another man. Or another woman. The security of knowing he wouldn’t judge her for her appetites or for her fantasies. That he wouldn’t push either of them past their limits. That he was the one she would be going home with at night. Hot. “I would do it for me.”

  His arms strained against the bonds, the muscles in his biceps becoming more defined. “Fuck yeah.” The words were guttural, his entire focus on the fingering she was giving herself. The tight material of her panties constrained her. “God, woman…get over here and untie me, and I can get you off in two seconds.”

  He could, too. The man only had to look at her, and she could explode. Not that she would tell him that. She praised him plenty. Anymore, and he’d be impossible to live with.