Never Be the Same

by M. A. Binfield

  Olivia shifted beneath her and Casey broke their kiss.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “No, don’t stop,” Olivia said without taking her eyes off Casey. “I’m enjoying having you on top of me.” Her voice sounded thick with arousal, and Casey couldn’t help but dip her head back down to press her lips to Olivia’s. Olivia grabbed at Casey’s jacket, pulling her closer. She kissed Casey hard, her tongue again inside her mouth, her hands now inside Casey’s shirt, and Casey knew that she was almost past the point of no return.

  “Olivia, wait.” The words came out low and hoarse. She pulled herself away and up into a seated position. Her body still pulsing with her arousal. She didn’t want to stop. She wanted them to keep kissing, to do whatever the stones would allow them to do. But they had to. They were both a little too old to be fucking on the beach.

  “What time do you start work in the morning?”

  Olivia blinked at her, obviously not expecting the abrupt change of conversation.

  “I have to be on that Pride parade float thing at noon. Why?”

  Olivia leaned up and kissed her, pulling Casey down on top of her again. Her mouth was impossible to resist and Casey lost herself again in the feel of Olivia’s soft lips, in the press of Olivia’s breasts against hers. She made herself stop, rolling off Olivia and onto her side.

  “We’re going to get arrested if we carry on. And it’s getting late, so we either have to stop and get the train home—” Casey faltered. She saw the look of disappointment in Olivia’s eyes and felt encouraged. She was pretty sure Olivia wanted this as much as she did. “Or we could see if any of the hotels,” she pointed to the promenade lit up fifty yards behind them, “could put us up for the night.”

  Casey hadn’t ever been good at this kind of thing. But her feelings for Olivia made her brave. “I would really like us to carry this on.” She leaned across and placed a soft kiss on Olivia’s lips. “Somewhere without stones.” She kissed her again, harder this time. “And with a bed.”

  “Oh God, I would like that too.” Olivia ran her hands down Casey’s back before moving them inside her jacket, inside her shirt, grazing her fingertips against the skin of her back. “But only if you promise me we’re going to pick up exactly where we left off.”

  Casey couldn’t have said no even if she’d wanted to. And she didn’t want to. The idea of a bed, of Olivia underneath her on a bed, with Olivia looking at her just like she was looking at her right then, was the best idea she’d ever had.

  * * *

  Casey was standing with her back against the door, looking at the room. It was fancy by Brighton standards, but nowhere near as fancy as their London hotel. But she didn’t care and she hoped Olivia felt the same. It had everything they needed—a large bed, a twenty-four-hour laundry service, and a balcony with a sea view. A balcony onto which Olivia had now disappeared. There was probably a lot to like about the room, but Casey couldn’t see past the bed, and she desperately wanted Olivia to save the sea view for the morning.

  They had headed into the nearest of the large hotels on the promenade, walking hand in hand, in a way that felt as natural as if they’d been doing it for years. At the crossing, waiting for the lights to stop the flow of traffic so they could cross, Olivia leaned over and kissed Casey. Seeming not to care who could see them. It wasn’t a chaste kiss. She tangled her fingers possessively in Casey’s hair and pushed her tongue inside Casey’s mouth, making her knees go weak with desire at just about the same time as the lights went green. As they crossed the road, Olivia gave her a sweet shy smile, a smile that suggested she had no idea just how damn sexy she was.

  “It’s got an amazing view.” Olivia stepped back into the room, leaving the balcony door open. “It’s very romantic.” She smiled but seemed a little less confident than she had been when they were outside.

  “I wanted it to be romantic. I wanted us…” Casey had so much she wanted to say to Olivia about how she was feeling, but the words wouldn’t come. She took a breath and decided it didn’t matter that Olivia made her tongue-tied. She could show Olivia how much she wanted her with her actions, not her words.

  “Come here.” Casey was still standing with her back to the door.

  Olivia held her gaze, while slowly moving toward her, and her beauty, the sound of her breathing, the look in her eyes, made Casey want her even more.

  “You are so beautiful.” Casey tried to damp down her desire so she could speak. “And so incredibly sexy.” She reached out for Olivia as she got closer. “And I’ve spent every single minute since we got up off those stones, imagining myself undressing you.”

  “Oh, Casey.” Olivia’s eyes widened as she said her name, in a way that was part moan and part plea. The sound of it was intoxicating. Casey took her by the hands and turned them so that Olivia had her back against the door. She slipped her hands inside Olivia’s jacket to lift it from her shoulders, allowing it to fall to the floor behind her.

  Casey bent to touch her lips to Olivia’s, and this time, there was none of the hesitancy of earlier. They kissed hungrily, their lips crushed together, Olivia’s back against the door and their bodies pressed against each other. Casey darted her tongue inside Olivia’s mouth, their tongues touching in a way that she already knew drove Olivia wild. Olivia pushed herself even harder against Casey—her kisses deep and searching, her hands grabbing at Casey’s ass.

  Casey broke off from kissing Olivia to slowly unbutton her shirt, making her fingers go faster when the shirt was open enough to reveal Olivia’s bra. It was lacy, low-cut, and exactly the same blood red as the dress she had worn all those days before. Casey swallowed, her mouth dry. Olivia’s breasts filled the bra perfectly, and Casey badly wanted to taste them. She let the shirt drop to the floor on top of the jacket.

  She dipped her head to kiss Olivia’s neck, to trail kisses along the newly exposed skin of her shoulders before biting down gently on the soft smooth skin just above Olivia’s collarbone. Olivia took in a breath, and Casey worried she had been too rough. But the feel of Olivia’s hands roughly pulling Casey’s shirt from out of her jeans, the fingertips trailing across Casey’s skin—caressing her back, her stomach, and her breasts—said different. Casey looked down and watched Olivia fumble with the buttons of her own shirt until it was open. She reached behind Olivia as they kissed, moving her lips down to kiss the skin between her breasts as she unclasped Olivia’s bra and tossed it to the floor. She stood back to look at Olivia.

  “I never let myself imagine you would be this beautiful,” Casey said, brushing the back of her hand across Olivia’s shoulders, across her breasts, feeling Olivia’s intake of breath as her eyes closed. And Casey gloried in the heated look in Olivia’s eyes when she opened them again and leaned in to kiss her possessively.

  “Well, you look and feel every bit as good as I knew you would. I spent an insane amount of time trying to push that image of you stretched out in the sauna out of my mind.” As Olivia spoke, she moved her hands inside Casey’s shirt, playing with the edge of Casey’s bra with her fingers, grazing Casey’s breasts with her palms,. Casey felt the throbbing between her legs, already knowing how wet she was.

  She stopped Olivia with a kiss before running her hands across Olivia’s breasts once more. Olivia’s eyes darkened with desire. Casey reached down to unzip Olivia’s pants, but Olivia got there first, sliding them off her hips and adding them to the pile of clothes. The sight of Olivia in just her panties was more than Casey could bear. She took off her shirt and threw it on the floor before kissing Olivia hard, her arm around her waist, steering them toward the bed, every fiber of her body wanting Olivia underneath her.

  Casey lay Olivia down onto the bed before unbuttoning and kicking off her own jeans. As she allowed herself a moment to take in the sight of her, Olivia reached up and pulled Casey onto her, opening her legs so that Casey could slide her thigh between them.

&
nbsp; Casey kissed her gently and then less gently, trailing her lips along Olivia’s neck and shoulders, Olivia’s moaning telling her that she was doing the right thing. Casey drifted lower with her kisses until her mouth closed over one of Olivia’s nipples. She sucked it gently, flicking her tongue across the tip. Olivia writhed in pleasure beneath her, her center grinding against Casey’s thigh.

  Casey continued to taste Olivia’s breasts, moving her mouth from one nipple to the other, Olivia’s soft whimpers telling her she was doing the right thing. When Casey teased her fingers along the edge of Olivia’s panties, Olivia grabbed Casey’s hand and pushed it inside, between her legs.

  “Please, Casey.” Olivia pulled Casey into a kiss at the same time she pulled her own panties down as far as she could reach, leaving Casey in no doubt what she wanted. She pushed them past Olivia’s knees and shifted position so Olivia could kick them off.

  The sight of Olivia naked beneath her, the feel of her thigh already wet with Olivia’s arousal and the wanting look on Olivia’s face, made Casey’s desire to fuck her even more desperate. She stroked Olivia in long sweeping movements, gliding her fingers through the wetness. On each upward stroke, she gently brushed Olivia’s clitoris with her fingertip, the touches making Olivia moan loudly with pleasure.

  She kissed Olivia hard, her tongue inside her mouth, squeezing Olivia’s breast with her free hand, and Olivia lifted her hips off the bed, pushing herself against Casey’s fingers, seeming to want exactly what Casey did.

  “I want to fuck you.” Casey wanted—needed—to be inside Olivia.

  “Please.” Olivia said the word like a growl, and Casey didn’t hesitate. She pushed her fingers gently inside Olivia and then, as Olivia opened herself up farther, buried them deeper, and began the gentle, insistent thrusting that had Olivia gasping her name and arching her back, wanting just as much as Casey could give her.

  With her other hand, Casey was still caressing Olivia’s breast, tweaking her nipple, and when she dipped her head to taste it again, Olivia let out a soft elongated curse, grabbing for Casey wildly. Scratching her back, touching her breasts, then pulling Casey tightly to her in a rocking embrace, the movement matching Casey’s thrusts inside her. Casey could feel Olivia losing control, her breathing becoming more ragged, her cursing getting louder. She increased the speed and intensity of her fucking, brushing her thumb across Olivia’s clitoris with every thrust. The panting and grinding from Olivia telling her that she was close.

  “Don’t stop…don’t stop that, Casey. Please. I’m coming. Oh fuck.” The words came out with difficulty, every one swallowed as soon as it was said. Then Olivia wrapped her arms around Casey and came, crying out noisily, her whole body shuddering as the orgasm hit.

  Casey was so close to coming herself that one touch from Olivia would have sent her over the edge into her own climax. But she didn’t care about that. Olivia clinging on to her, silently allowing the waves to wash over her, was wondrous and something that Casey wanted to simply drink in. As she felt Olivia’s shudders subside, felt Olivia’s muscles finally relax their grip on her fingers, Casey withdrew them.

  Olivia nestled in her arms, murmuring her name, and Casey felt like every cell in her body was vibrating. She was aroused, she was overwhelmed, and she was shocked to realize that all she could imagine was a future in which they were together and Olivia always made her feel this way.

  “That was amazing.” Olivia took Casey’s hand and ran it along her thigh. “Goose bumps.” She looked up at Casey and the shy way she did this, coupled with the way she bit her lower lip, gave Casey goose bumps all of her own.

  “You are amazing.” Casey tilted her head down to kiss Olivia softly. She felt completely alive.

  “I want to say things, complimentary things, thankful things, but I don’t have the words. I’m not sure if I ever have the words, or if it’s a symptom of what you just did to me that my brain is so swirly, but…” Olivia pushed herself up on one elbow so she was face-to-face with Casey. “I’m pretty sure of one thing right now, and that’s how much I want to taste you.”

  Casey felt the power of the words—the words Olivia claimed not to have—land like a jolt between her legs. She was already wet, already throbbing with her desire. The pleading look Olivia gave her, her eyes heavy, her lips full and red was entrancing and all she could do was nod.

  Olivia pushed Casey onto her back before kissing her possessively, at first slow and gentle and then hard and demanding, her tongue in Casey’s mouth. She reached around to remove her bra before tracing her fingers down Casey’s chest and across her breasts. Casey couldn’t stop herself from shivering under the touch. Olivia dipped her head to close her mouth over one nipple and then the other, caressing them with her tongue, sucking them greedily. Casey closed her eyes, tipping her head back in pleasure. Olivia moved her mouth down Casey’s torso, tracing her tongue across her ribs, along her abs and down to the edge of her shorts. Casey took in a breath, her arms spread out, her hands flat on the bed as if to steady her. Olivia looked up at her and Casey could see nothing in Olivia’s eyes but desire.

  “These need to go.” Olivia slowly pulled Casey’s shorts down her thighs, past her knees, and then cast them onto the floor. She moved off the bed and pulled herself upright, looking down at Casey.

  “You are an absolute dream,” Olivia said almost to herself before kneeling down on the floor at the edge of the bed. She pulled at Casey’s legs until Casey inched herself down the bed. Olivia knelt between her legs, a hand on either thigh, and every fiber, every nerve in Casey’s body was vibrating in anticipation.

  Olivia pushed Casey’s knees farther apart, trailing kisses along the inside of her thigh. When she reached Casey’s center, she brushed the lightest of lingering kisses against it before pulling away and continuing dotting kisses down her other thigh. Casey’s insides contracted, and she felt the heat of her arousal like a fire in her core.

  “Please, Olivia.” Casey didn’t even try to hide how desperate she was. She wanted Olivia’s mouth on her more than she’d ever wanted anything else in the world.

  Olivia lifted her eyes and looked at Casey for a long beat, and Casey took in a breath. And then she felt the pressure and the warmth of Olivia’s tongue as she ran it across her swollen center, and Casey couldn’t stop herself from crying out. Olivia stroked her tongue up and down her length, flicking her tongue across the swollen bud of her clitoris. Olivia’s tongue teased and probed, and Casey could only grab at the bedclothes, her eyes clamped shut, the pleasure almost too intense. She didn’t want to come but wasn’t sure she could hold on. She wanted to lose herself in Olivia, in how Olivia was making her feel.

  Olivia used her thumbs to open Casey up to her, to allow her tongue to probe even deeper, gently sucking on her clitoris, and Casey’s moans became louder. Her breathing was rapid now, her body grinding into the bed to the rhythm of Olivia’s tongue. When Olivia increased the speed and pressure of her tongue, it was enough to push Casey over the edge, and her orgasm came full force, crashing in with what seemed like a vivid burst of color and light, her whole body bucking as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body. She reached down a hand to tangle her fingers in Olivia’s hair, wanting to touch her somehow. Olivia still had her mouth closed over Casey’s center and Casey rode out her orgasm that way. As she came back to herself, Casey looked down at Olivia, now gazing up at her with what she dared to imagine was something more than arousal, something more than the satisfaction of the sex.

  “Wow.” Casey smiled at her. “That was—” She didn’t finish. “I’m not sure there’s even a word for what that was.”

  “That’s good, right? I mean, it’s a good word you’re searching for.” Olivia looked unbelievably shy for someone who had just left Casey unable to feel the lower half of her body. It was adorable.

  “Come here.” Casey shuffled herself back up the bed, holding out her han
ds for Olivia to join her. “It was better than good, better than amazing.” Olivia lay down next to her, and Casey put her arms around her. Olivia laid her head on Casey’s chest and Casey reached an arm around her waist, stroking her back softly. “It was everything I hoped and imagined it would be. And…” The feelings Casey had been trying to put away for days were lodged in the back of her throat. She shook her head slightly, trying to regain her composure. “And I need you to know that I think you’re wonderful.”

  Olivia shifted in her arms, lifting her head so that she was looking at Casey. Casey tried to maintain the eye contact that Olivia was seeking, but she feared her eyes would give away what she was feeling. And that the intensity of her feelings would spook Olivia. She looked away, not able to keep the tension out of her body, feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed, wishing she hadn’t said what she’d said.

  “Casey, don’t pull back. Please. Not after this.”

  Olivia moved so she was on her side, her head now level with Casey’s. She pulled Casey’s arm around her body, bringing her closer. Their faces were inches apart. It was impossible for Casey not to kiss her. Olivia responded, and they kissed each other slowly, tenderly, with a different kind of passion. But Casey felt her blood heat again, and when she pulled Olivia in for a deeper kiss, her body wanting more, Olivia broke the kiss before reaching down and taking hold of Casey’s hand.

  “Thirteen hours by car.” Olivia smiled at her shyly. “Two hours twenty minutes by plane.”

  Casey frowned. She was missing a key piece of information somewhere.

  “The time it takes to get from LA to Portland. I should be embarrassed by the fact that I looked up the travel times, but I’m not.” She stroked Casey’s hand with her thumb. “I decided somewhere between your mom’s kitchen and that stony ass beach that I like you, Casey. I really like you. And this,” Olivia swallowed, sounding unsure, “is not something casual for me. I’m not Susie. I’m not at all the kind of woman who does this without it meaning something.”