Stubborn Hearts

by Hutchinson, Heidi

  Ryan blinked and shook her head. “Your reference is inaccurate, the gates of heaven — ”

  “They are for me, Ryan,” Rafe said, looking away and taking a drink of his water.

  So many questions bombarded her brain in that moment. Like a tiny airstrike of bunny trails and misdirection. She tried to filter through what she wanted to ask first, but was too slow.

  “My point remains the same,” he said, setting his glass back down and wiping a drop of water off the rim of the glass. “I can't get any personal financial information about you. Which is good, because if I can't get to it, no one can get to it.”

  Ryan was equal parts thankful for her excellent lawyer and anxious about why Rafe wasn't getting into heaven. With a whole myriad of other concerns lining up in her mind.

  “So, how long?” he pressed.

  “I'm not sure.” She shrugged. “Kelly said he expects by October.”

  The muscle in Rafe's jaw jumped in conjunction with the vein in his temple. “Shit. Four months.”

  “What did you do all day?” she asked, unable to hide her curiosity.

  Rafe eyed her, a shadow passing over his expression. “I think the less you know, the better it'll be for you.”

  She sat back in her chair, her lips twisting. Rafe shook his head, already arguing with her reaction.

  “I'm not trying to offend you — ”

  “Well then maybe you should stop being offensive,” she deadpanned, arching an eyebrow.

  He closed his eyes, struggling with his patience. “It's not that I don't think you can handle it, stop misunderstanding me on purpose. Not everyone is on a secret campaign to ruin your life.” He cursed under his breath. “You're safer with the less you know. Jesse's safer with the less you know.”

  Ryan relinquished immediately. Whether it was a tactic he was using to manipulate her or not, she didn't care. It would work. She would do everything in her power to help Jesse. “Fine,” she said softly.

  Rafe's suspicious eyes measure her carefully before he asked, “Do you trust me?”

  “No. Not even remotely,” she answered honestly. “But I'm fairly certain that's a hereditary flaw. I will choose to believe that you intend to keep your word.”

  He nodded once. “That's good enough for me.”

  Their food came then and the table grew silent as the server refilled glasses and made sure they were all set. Rafe emptied his plate first, wiped his mouth and sat back in his chair.

  “You need to make a plan to leave town as soon as you can.”

  The words landed heavy in her stomach, but they didn't surprise her. It was something she'd been putting off for well over a year. She had already made a promise to her mom. Now she was going to be forced to keep it.

  “I'll get Jesse cleared of this. It might take some time, but Dennis hasn't been as careful as he thinks.” Rafe ran his tongue over his teeth, his gaze sweeping the patrons again.

  His last statement hung in the air for several pounding heartbeats. It would probably be the most information she'd get out of him. Really, it was all she needed. To find out her family was behind the death of Red, and thereby the death of her first true friendship, made her chest ache.

  Rafe locked eyes with her again. “Maybe you should pursue that whole writing career thing you've started for yourself and get clear of horse racing for a while.”

  She jolted in her chair. “How do you know about that?” she asked with a whisper.

  He tilted his head, like he didn't understand her question. “I'm a detective, Ryan. It's just a pen name, it's not like you're in witness protection.”

  Rising panic caused her breathing to become erratic. Rafe noticed.

  “Settle down, it's not a big deal,” he said, taking a distracted sip of his water.

  “No, it's not a big deal for you. But if it's that easy to figure out, than someone else could find out and...” She closed her eyes, wondering when they would just be done. “They take everything. You don't know what it's like to constantly be looking over your shoulder, wondering when the other shoe will drop. Well, guess what? With these people, shoes don't drop. Shoes go on attack. Shoes, boots, platform pumps, it's an all-day marathon on Spike TV of When Good Shoes Go Bad.”

  Rafe barked an unexpected laugh. “When Good Shoes Go Bad?” he asked rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. The motion gave away his fatigue.

  Ryan huffed slightly. “Yeah, that metaphor sort of got away from me. But I think you get my point.”

  Rafe nodded, his lips still twisted in amusement. “As an undercover narcotics detective for four years, I actually do know what it's like to live looking over my shoulder. But you're twenty-one, and living like that isn't your job.” He scanned her face, a phantom in the shape of remorse filtering into his expression. “More reason for you to get out of here. One thing I've learned about entitled assholes, they're incredibly lazy. They're not going to chase you.”

  “What about Dennis?” she asked the obvious question. “He doesn't seem that lazy.”

  Rafe's eyes shuttered. “I'll deal with Dennis.”

  “And what happens to Jesse?” she asked her napkin twisting in her lap.

  Rafe sighed out loud. “It depends on what the Florida Gaming Commission finds in the next couple of weeks. I know a person assigned to the case, we've been in contact. I don't want you to worry about it, except I'm going to need you to stay away from him for a while longer.”

  Ryan felt that sad settling in her stomach that she was becoming accustomed to. “I understand.”

  ***

  Caleb looked up from the report on his desk when his office door opened. His days in town had been more frequent as he avoided the stables and anything that made him think about the investigation that was taking place. Instead, he buried himself in his other ventures and tried to spend a little more time with his kids.

  He wasn't examining the motivation behind that action either.

  But the last person he expected to walk into his office after hours was Ryan. And yet, there she stood.

  “How did you get in here?” he asked.

  She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “Uh, I know it's after hours, but there wasn't anyone out front. I saw your light on and thought I'd try the door.”

  Caleb frowned. “Why are you here?”

  Ryan swallowed, her face paling at his tone. Something about it made him think of his youngest at home — Serena, the four-year old. She would look at him like that when she was in trouble.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Jesse.”

  Caleb rolled his eyes and stood up. He walked around to the front of his desk and leaned back against the edge, folding his arms across his chest. “So talk.”

  She rolled her lips inward, eyes flitting over the space in between them. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Like what?”

  “I don't know.” She shrugged. “I just know he's not guilty of anything and I'm afraid he's taking the fall for it.”

  Caleb narrowed his eyes slightly. Hart had kept his word, they hadn't been in contact. Interesting. “And you think I can make things better for him?”

  “I really have no idea,” she admitted. “I know that you make things happen all the time — ”

  “And you thought you'd ask me for a favor, is that it?”

  “Not a favor. A deal.”

  Caleb lifted his chin, going on alert. “What kind of a deal.”

  “Name your terms,” she rasped, the difficulty of her being here showing through.

  A selfish desire shot through to the front of Caleb's mind. “Would you promise to never speak to him again? To stay away from horse racing? To leave the state?”

  Ryan's jaw tightened and her chin jutted out, that stubborn streak shining through. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Jesse Hart is a good man. And he's my friend.”

  “I have lots of friends,” Caleb pressed, wanting the confession he knew had to be there.r />
  “No, you don't. And neither do I,” she said so definitively he felt the words in his gut. “So if there is a way for you to get this off his record — a way for him to continue to follow his dream... I'll agree to all of those things you asked.”

  Caleb didn't have to think about it. Getting Ryan out of his life and out of this publicity nightmare was a no-brainer.

  “You have a deal.”

  twenty-nine

  “You've always been more than a little precocious. It's a blessing, despite how the small minded may treat you. People will always be suspicious of things they don't understand. Try not to hold it against them. But don't get pushed around.”

  September

  “She's got good stride.”

  Jesse tilted his head slightly at George's words. The groom had his arms draped over the fence, his chin pointed to the filly being worked on the track. How long he'd been there, Jesse hadn't a clue.

  Both George and Jesse had been cleared of all charges and suspicion in Red's investigation two months ago. Jesse didn't know if it had been Rafe's doing, or Caleb's. The case itself was still unsolved. Unsolved and dismissed. It didn't sit right with either man, but neither one knew where to go with the feeling.

  Without Ryan around, George had taken it upon himself to check on Jesse's mental state. It was very kind of the older man. But unnecessary.

  “She's fine,” Jesse muttered without any real conviction.

  George cleared his throat. “It's been four months today.”

  “Yep.”

  The filly's hooves pounded a steady beat as she flew past them, kicking up mud behind her.

  “Damn shame for such a fine horse to go like that.”

  Jesse couldn't agree more. It hadn't gotten easier yet. It should have, though. By now, he should have gotten back into the flow of his job. But it was like all the joy had been sucked out of it. Every day was dark. Every day was empty.

  He'd lost horses before. But it had never felt like this.

  Like the world had just... stopped.

  It had been nice to have Rafe around for those two weeks during the investigation. He had been distracted by the former detective's intensity and slight neurosis. But he'd gone back to Kentucky after that and Jesse was alone again. Which was fine. Alone was good. It was solid and predictable.

  It was also boring.

  He found no joy in being at the stables. With the investigation suddenly and inexplicably closed, Jesse had been left with a heavy sense of foreboding in the back of his mind. Like this wasn't it.

  It wasn't over.

  Approaching footsteps caused both men to turn simultaneously. Caleb stopped when he was ten feet away. The air between them became soaked in silent accusation and distrust.

  George stepped away from the fence. “I should get back to work,” he muttered. Before he left, he gripped Jesse's bicep and gave it a squeeze. An acknowledgment of things to come, of things past. A goodbye, a salute, a consolation.

  Jesse waited for Caleb to speak first. He had nothing to say to the man and they hadn't spoken since Caleb had made him promise to stay away from Ryan indefinitely.

  Caleb pursed his lips and finished crossing the distance between them, taking George's vacated spot. He squinted his eyes at the filly and watched silently for a minutes.

  “I know you've never respected me,” Caleb began slowly. “But you always behaved as if you did, so thank you for that.”

  Jesse drew his shoulders back slowly, going on high alert.

  “I've done what I can to clear your record of this nightmare. I owed you that.” Caleb ran a hand through his hair, exhaustion evident in the deep circles under his eyes. “I'm about to confess something to you I expect to stay between us.”

  Jesse nodded curtly, his stomach clenching painfully.

  “I've never done right by Ryan. Or her mom. And I can't start making up for past mistakes now. It's too... hard.” He took a deep breath and his neck sagged with the weight of his own head. He rested his forearms along the top rail of the fence. “I've done what I've done. I made the deals that needed to be made. She deserves the opportunity to have a life that doesn't include the baggage I've given her.”

  “What are you saying?” Jesse asked, a hollow in his stomach carving out as he realized he actually agreed with Caleb Zacherson.

  “I made a deal with Ryan that will be the best for both of you. I promised to get you clean of this, if she went away for good.”

  “That's bullshit!” Jesse snapped, his spine straightening. He'd already made a deal!

  Caleb faced him, his expression pinched. “It's not and you know it. You know it, Hart. You know the best shot she has of having a decent future is for her to not be connected to me and her toxic family. And the only thing I had to leverage was you.”

  Jesse ground his teeth together, his mind racing for a way around the infuriating logic presented to him. His sinuses began to burn as the finality of the facts hit him full force. Always in the back of his mind he thought that as soon as this all blew over, he'd see her again. Talk to her, make her smile, be in her life in any capacity she would allow.

  Caleb nodded as he witnessed the painful realization wash over Jesse's features. “I know you care for her. Thank you for that, too.”

  Jesse broke eye contact, looking over the track, the landscape, trying to find a symbol of hope. Something to look forward to now. But all he saw were ghosts of things he'd loved and lost.

  Nothing was coming back to him now.

  No colt.

  No girl.

  No joy.

  “I'm selling the stables.”

  Jesse was jolted out of his thoughts at Caleb's tight announcement.

  “You're the first to know. Because I owe you and Ryan one good thing. I've written to a few owners up north on your behalf. I don't want there to be a reason for either one of you to return. I'll sell the horses, close the stables. Zacherson Racing won't have a season this year. Or ever again.”

  Jesse's jaw worked back and forth. “I thought this was your dream...”

  Caleb nodded. “Sometimes dreams die.”

  ***

  Triston,

  I have news.

  My inheritance has been unlocked (long story) and I found out I have a house in Hartford. I'm thinking about moving up there to focus on my writing full time. It's just too hard to do that here.

  Ryan

  Ryan,

  Oh my God, please move here. I need someone with a brain I can talk to face to face every once in a while.

  T

  PS: Congrats on the best seller list. Two times in a row now!

  Ryan smiled a resigned smile and closed her laptop. Well, that settled that.

  Apparently she was moving to Connecticut.

  She would know exactly one person and that would have to be enough.

  Her phone buzzed on the counter, caller unknown. She hesitated before picking it up.

  “Hello?”

  “You have a collect call from Hillsborough County Jail. Do you accept these charges?”

  Ryan's heart sighed simultaneously with her lungs. It was a whole body sigh. The kind that's wearying all on its own.

  “Yes,” she replied.

  “Ryan?” Vic asked. “Hey, sweetheart. Can you come and get your uncle out of jail?”

  “What did you do now?” she asked. “And why didn't you call Brenda?”

  “Brenda's outta town, seeing her sister. Listen, I just need you to bail me out. That's what family does for each other. Do this one thing and I won't bother you again... Please, Ryan, I don't have anyone else to call.”

  “Fine,” she agreed, not really knowing why. Just feeling like it would be wrong to tell him no. Besides. She would be moving soon. This might be the last chance she had to make a positive impact in his life. Might as well try.

  ***

  This had been a bad idea.

  So bad.

  The worst bad idea that she had ever had. To be fair,
it wasn't exactly her idea. In fact, this didn't seem like an idea at all. It was a nightmare masquerading as a good deed. She had foolishly believed Vic when he'd said it was just bail money. And she'd further believed him when he'd said it was just a ride, and then just a stop off.

  Now, she was sitting on a couch covered with questionable looking stains and watching a tweeker storm around the living room.

  Oh, and said tweeker was holding a gun.

  Vic was talking to someone on the phone. Ryan couldn't understand anything that was being said. She was a little distracted by the gun that kept getting waved in her face randomly. She'd easily put together that Kevin (tweeker) was very unhappy that Vic had brought her along when he had promised to come alone. And Ryan kept being accused of being everything from a demon cat to the cops. With various fantastical creatures in between.

  Her legs began to cramp with how tightly she was holding them still, terrified to even breathe normally. Sweat began to bead and gather at her temples and around her hairline.

  Kevin's wild eyes rolled towards her again and the gun shook in his bony hand. “Stop looking at me!” he yelled.

  Ryan blinked and stared at the dirty floor in front of her, praying she'd live through this somehow. If she did, she was definitely leaving. Forever. These people would have to save themselves. She wasn't a trained professional. She didn't have the necessary qualifications to deal with this kind of chaos.

  Inexplicably, Kevin rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door. Ryan looked from it to where Vic could be heard talking in the kitchen. Could it be that easy? Did God decide to give her this perfectly timed and undeserved gift? Her hesitation ended there as she bolted to the front door.

  Her left palm caught on the metal latch of the screen door as she fled outside. She yanked it free, ignoring the burn of flesh ripping away. Her heart pounded in tandem with her feet as she bolted across the grassless front yard. She slammed into the side of her new-ish Toyota at full speed. Blood smeared across the side from her injured hand.