Sunsets and Shades

by Erica Lee

  “Great!” Leah shouted enthusiastically. “Now that we’re past that, what did you guys want to do tonight?”

  “I thought it would be a good idea if we…” at the same time the words “went out” came out of my mouth, Grace said “stay in.” Of course.

  I did my best to flash her a smile and through gritted teeth consented, “Staying in it is! You are the guest, after all.”

  “Awesome.” Leah clapped her hands together. “I’ll order us some pizza. What kind do you guys want?”

  Speaking at the exact same time again, I asked for the meat lovers supreme, while Grace requested plain. Not surprising at all.

  Leah forced a smile as she looked between the two of us. “Two pizzas it is. Do I even want to ask what movie you guys want to watch?”

  I put my hands up in surrender and directed my attention toward Grace. “It’s all you, as long as it isn’t a romantic comedy, or romantic drama, or literally anything with romance. I get enough of that with my job.”

  “Oh um..” Grace’s hesitation told me that romance was probably the only genre she actually enjoyed. “Whatever you decide is fine.”

  “Actually, how about we play a game?” Leah suggested.

  We finally found something we could agree on, and an hour later we were eating pizza and playing Scattergories. It didn’t take me long to realize Grace was the type of person who took games way too seriously. I was competitive, especially in video games, but I still had fun with it. Each time we would begin a new round, I noticed that she would carefully adjust her glasses and take a deep breath before becoming laser-focused on the task at hand. Meanwhile, Leah and I spent more time trying to distract each other than actually focusing on coming up with our own words.

  Grace was also one of those people who had the annoying habit of actually challenging answers. After I proudly announced “Pizza” as an answer to foods you eat for breakfast, Grace raised her hand. “I’d like to challenge that. Pizza isn’t technically a breakfast food.”

  We both turned to Leah for the final vote. “Sorry Grace. I have to go with Kins on this one. That girl eats pizza for breakfast like three days a week.”

  Two could play at this game though. When the category of authors came up under the letter K, and Grace chose to use my name, I argued it shouldn’t count since I don’t write using that name. Leah shot me down this time, pointing out that even if I don’t use my real name, I am still an author.

  The game continued this way, with us each finding at least one word to dispute in every single round, becoming more and more out there with our reasonings as we got further along. I knew my argument that Jamie couldn’t be used under the boy’s name when it could also be a girl’s name was crap, but it wasn’t any more ridiculous than Grace claiming I couldn’t use a certain TV show since it was no longer on air.

  Before we had made it through the whole game, Leah threw her pencil down in frustration. “That’s it. I’m done. What is the deal with you guys? Neither of you are argumentative people, so I don’t understand why you are insistent on fighting each other.”

  I shrugged my shoulders in response. “Sorry Leah. I just think some people take life too seriously.” I tried to keep my tone light to sound like I was joking, although I meant what I was saying.

  Grace clearly didn’t take it as a joke because a look of disdain quickly surfaced on her face. “And some people feel the need to make a joke out of everything. Certain parts of life are serious, believe it or not.”

  We both looked toward Leah who buried her face into her hands. She stayed like this for a minute, and when she finally lifted her head, she had a maniacal smile on her face that actually had me quite frightened. “I have a wonderful idea, and I’m not going to let either of you say no,” she announced. She looked toward Grace first. “I know the extended stay hotel you were looking at was super pricey, and since I’m going on vacation for the next two weeks, there is a free room available here. You’ll be staying in that room. This will give you time to figure out a more permanent, or at least semi-permanent, solution. Don’t you dare try to tell me no. We both know this makes much more sense financially.” Now, Leah turned toward me and pointed a stern finger at me. “And you - you have no say over this. That is my room and my half of the rent, so I decide what to do with it.” Both Grace and I responded with a slight nod, and Leah leaned back on the couch, a satisfied grin on her face. “You two need to learn to get along, because whatever has been going on this weekend, needs to stop. You’re both my best friends, and, yes, you have some very different personality traits, but you’ve both been super loving and supportive friends to me and you’re much nicer than either of you are portraying right now. So, in the next two weeks, you’re going to figure this out together.”

  “Gee Leah, why don’t you just handcuff us together and keep the key until we prove ourselves?” I answered sarcastically.

  “I thought about it, but then I figured you’d enjoy that a little too much.” She stuck her tongue out at me, and I slapped her in the face with a pillow while we both giggled together.

  When I turned to look at Grace, her eyes were wide, and she gulped audibly. Apparently, this girl couldn’t even joke about sex. This was going to be a long two weeks. Correction. This was going to be a long summer.

  Chapter 6: Grace

  By the time Tuesday hit, I already felt like a prisoner in this apartment. Monday had seemed to drag by, with Kinsley and I doing our best to avoid each other. She spent most of the day holed up in her room, but when I returned from a walk through the city, I found her in the living room watching television. I said a quick hello and tried to ask her about what she was watching, but the conversation just felt forced and awkward. So, I made myself a sandwich and spent the rest of the night locked in my bedroom, which was where I had spent most of this day as well.

  It was very unfortunate since it left me alone with my thoughts, and most of those revolved around Becky. Although, there was one other thought that kept creeping into my mind, and I wasn’t sure why. For some reason, I kept going back to the conversation between Kinsley and Leah. They had been joking around about the handcuffs, but the whole thing made me feel hot and bothered, which was strange since I didn’t ever remember feeling that way before. Truthfully, the expression had always confused me. Hot and bothered? Nothing about that sounded comfortable, but people always said it like it was a good thing. While it was a slightly uncomfortable feeling, it was also a nice change to have this burning desire inside of me. Wait… burning desire about… Kinsley? Kinsley - the girl who treated life (and other people for that matter) as one big joke. This heartbreak, combined with my lack of any sort of sex life, must have been having an even bigger effect on me than I realized. Great.

  My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a notification on my phone. I figured it was probably Laurel Lake tweeting about following dreams and never giving up on love, but I decided to look anyway. That turned out to be a big mistake. The words seemed to pop off of the screen and slap me right in the face. @teachinbecks11: Check another item off of the bucket list - Hawaiian vacation with my soulmate. Along with the words was a picture of Becky and Jamie kissing, the Hawaiian sun setting in the background. Hawaii had always been a bucket list item. It was our bucket list item. We had been saving money for years so we could afford to go on our honeymoon someday. Our honeymoon that never happened and probably never would now.

  Before I could stop them, the tears were rolling down my cheeks again, only this time they were accompanied by sobs. I found the remote and turned on the TV, hoping that would mask the sound of my whimpers. I’m sure if Kinsley heard my crying, she would have a big laugh at my expense. After just a few minutes, I heard a light knock on my door. I reluctantly opened it and found Kinsley standing there with a look on her face that I hadn’t seen since meeting her. It was a softer look.

  She motioned her head toward her room across the hall. “Come with me. There is someone I want you to meet.” />
  I walked into her room for the first time and saw a cage that stood about five feet tall. The cage was filled with so many sticks, toys, and contraptions that I almost didn’t notice the cute creature inside. “And who is this?” I asked, surprised to hear my own voice.

  “This is my life, my love, my only,” Kinsley said proudly. “And before you say it, no, he is not a rat.”

  “I know that. He’s a chinchilla, which is in the Rodentia order, but that does not make him a rat. It just means he has a single pair of incisors in each jaw and they are continuously growing throughout his life.” I paused for a moment, noticing how nerdy that statement sounded. “Sorry. That sounded super geeky. I was really into animals growing up. I always felt like it was easier to figure them out than to figure myself out. I blame it on the whole confusion over my sexuality thing. That’s easier than admitting that I am just a huge geek.”

  “Hey, geeking out over chinchillas is always accepted here,” Kinsley informed me with a wide grin.

  “So, what’s his name?” I asked, while I bent down to get a closer look at the little boy who was currently laying in the bottom part of his two-story cage.

  “His name is Lenny Lesden Scott.”

  When I gave Kinsley an inquisitive look, she sighed and added, “Don’t ask. Seriously.” She then opened the cage, and after only a slight struggle, encouraged Lenny to jump into her hands.

  She sat down on the bed and put him on her lap, patting a spot on the bed next to her to signal for me to sit. “Want to pet him?” she asked. I couldn’t help but notice the excited look she had in her eyes. It was almost childlike and was absolutely adorable. I found myself smiling in response, which seemed to be something I almost never did anymore.

  I slowly ran a hand through his fur, surprised at just how soft he was. “Wow. Chinchillas really are just as soft as they say. I’ve always heard that, but I didn’t know they were this soft.”

  “Sure are, but don’t you dare make any other comments about why you’ve heard about their soft fur. We don’t talk about that here, do we buddy?” she cooed at the animal in her arms. I knew what she was referring to. It was the fact that there were actually people who bred and killed chinchillas for their fur - a thought that made me sick.

  “This may be a dumb question, but are you ok?” I was surprised by the soft sound of Kinsley’s voice, but even more surprised by the feel of her hand gently resting on my knee. When I looked down at it, she quickly pulled it away.

  “I am for now,” I answered sincerely. “This has been a good distraction.”

  Kinsley stood up and walked the chinchilla back to his cage, then turned to look at me again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  The surprises just kept coming. Who was this girl? “I’m confused. I didn’t think you cared about this. I honestly thought you found me pathetic,” I admitted.

  Kinsley sighed, then sat down next to me on the bed again. “Listen, I’m not going to lie. I think it’s dumb to get caught up on someone who clearly doesn’t deserve it. I also think it’s much easier to make a joke out of a situation than to harp on it. But, believe it or not, I’m not heartless. I do care if someone is hurting, and I can tell that you are.”

  I pushed my glasses up on my nose (a nervous habit that I absolutely hated for how nerdy it made me appear) and looked into Kinsley’s eyes. Once again, her eyes were much warmer than I had ever noticed previously. “I appreciate that... and I’m truly sorry if I made it seem like I thought you were heartless.”

  “So, do you want to talk about it?” Kinsley gently pushed.

  “Believe it or not, no.”

  “Well then, we could stuff our faces with Chinese food. But then again, I love Chinese food, which means you probably hate it,” Kinsley joked.

  “I actually love Chinese food as well. Looks like we found something we have in common. Leah would be so happy.”

  ***

  As I ate my food, I looked over at Kinsley who was pouring sweet and sour sauce, not only all over her chicken, but also on her lo mein. When she caught me staring, a smile spread across her face. “What? Is there a problem with the way I’m preparing my food?”

  “I was just wondering if you wanted any chicken and lo mein with your sweet and sour sauce,” I attempted to joke.

  “Oh hardy har. First grade called by the way. They want their joke back.” She then lifted the bowl that had the slightest bit of sweet and sour sauce in it and moved it toward my plate.

  I put my hand up to block her path. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Aw come on,” she whined. “I’m just trying to make it better. Chicken with broccoli and white rice is so boring!”

  I ignored her comments and continued to eat. We sat in a strangely contented silence for a few minutes, before Kinsley spoke again. “So, I know of a few comedians that aren’t quite as raunchy as the one I was watching the other day. You cool if I put one on?”

  I agreed, but quickly learned Kinsley’s definition of not as raunchy was still a bit much for me. “I’ll never understand why people find sexual humor like this so funny,” I finally commented when I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Oh, come on. Sex is just sex. It’s funny to joke around about. It’s not like it’s anything serious.”

  “Doesn’t it make you feel like you’re not respecting the true purpose of sex by talking about it that way? You act like it means nothing. It makes it seem like you would get it on anytime and anywhere with any random person.”

  Kinsley placed one hand on her chest in response to my words. “Ouch. That’s a pretty unfair judgment. I do have feelings, you know.”

  “Do you?” I asked, mostly joking.

  “Nah, not really,” Kinsley laughed. “But I do have a lot of sex, so I’d say I have a lot of respect for it. I mean the true purpose of sex, as you so eloquently put it, is pleasure, and trust me when I tell you, there has never been any lack of that when I’m involved.” She added a wink that brought back the same feelings as the handcuff comment. That quickly subsided once I let her words sink in.

  “I disagree,” I said with a shake of my head. “I believe sex should be used as a way of expressing the feelings you have for a person that you truly care about.”

  A look of disgust formed on Kinsley’s face when I said those words. “Well, that’s just crazy. If you think of sex that way, you’ll only have sex with like one or two people your entire life.” Kinsley laughed, as though it was a completely ridiculous thought.

  ”I thought I was only going to have sex with one person for my entire life,” I admitted quietly, feeling the sadness return.

  To my surprise and disappointment, Kinsley started to laugh again. “Wait a second... are you trying to tell me that you're one of those girls who’s saving herself for marriage or something? I thought only straight people did that.”

  “Well, seeing as how I had sex with Becky, and we definitely weren’t married, I’d say that wasn’t the case.” My tone was much more snippy than intended, so I tried to calm myself down before continuing. “No, I wasn’t saving myself for marriage, but I was saving myself for the one and I truly thought that was Becky.”

  “We need to get you laid,” Kinsley stated plainly, as if she had ignored everything I just told her.

  “I’m not sure how that response makes any sense, given what I just told you.”

  “It makes perfect sense,” Kinsley argued. “You know what they say about the best way to get over someone? It’s especially true for you. She has the sex hold over you.”

  “The sex hold?” I repeated, becoming increasingly annoyed.

  “Yes, the sex hold. You can’t get over her because she’s the only person you’ve had sex with. Whether you realize it or not, you see that as a bond holding you to each other. You need to break that bond.”

  I scoffed. “With a random hookup?”

  “Absolutely. Random is good. It will stop you from automatically associating sex with love and relatio
nships, hence breaking the hold.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at Kinsley’s words. Since meeting her, this was the most passionately I had heard her speak about anything. Of course it was sex. “It sounds like you’ve done your research.”

  “I have,” she answered, seriously. “And this is a real thing. Trust me. I’m a writer. Twenty percent of my time is spent writing, and the other 80% is spent researching crap on the internet to guarantee that my books make sense.”

  I shook my head at her as I stood up from the couch. “I’m going to bed. I appreciate all you’ve done tonight, but we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. I think we’ve established that we are two very different people, so I’d say anything that works for you definitely won’t work for me.” With those words, I walked down the hall toward Leah’s bedroom.

  “Just think about it,” I heard Kinsley yell after me. Unfortunately, that was the problem. I was thinking about it.

  Chapter 7: Kinsley

  On Wednesday night, Grace and I sat in the living room of my apartment eating dinner together for the second night in a row. It was crazy to think that Leah might be right. I didn’t expect us to be besties anytime soon, but spending time with her was definitely better than being alone. It made me wonder why we had an immediate distaste for each other upon meeting.

  My thoughts were interrupted by Grace’s voice. “None of your comedy tonight please. I can’t handle that right now.” Oh yeah, that’s why.

  “Well, excuse me,” I joked. “I’m sorry that some of us just don’t have a sense of humor.”

  Unfortunately, Grace didn’t crack a smile at my joke, and for a second, I actually thought she might start to cry. “I wasn’t always like this,” she finally answered, sounding even more timid than usual.