Sacred Surrender

by Ava Riley

  Quickly, Madison made her way up the hall, realizing for the first time the day had slipped away from her. The big pane glass window revealed the orange sky that indicated the sun was already setting. Wow, she must have been completely caught up in her mission to accomplish her bedroom to work straight into the evening. Reaching the door, she peered through the peephole and was taken aback. Rowan stood on the other side. The only thing separating them was the country style one and half inch wood door. Here she stood; her hair a mess, sweat beading on her forehead and upper lip, looking as if she’d just barely survived an infamous Kansas tornado. She couldn’t believe he actually came back and she was even more mortified he would see her looking as if she’d slept under the boardwalk for months.

  Chapter 3

  Rowan rang the doorbell twice, still with no answer. He knew Madison was home, the evidence sitting in her driveway and what seemed like every light in the house on. She didn’t strike him as the kind of girl to waste energy or to go walking around on her own in a place where she was a complete stranger, not knowing anything about her surroundings. Although, he couldn’t really say, since he knew absolutely nothing about her. Maybe Madison made very bad decisions, maybe she didn’t even think about her own safety. No matter how many ways he tried to see her that way, she just didn’t strike him as that type of person, so he waited just a moment longer before he rang the bell one more time. Rowan’s time with Cade had taken a lot longer than he had hoped, so he was more than anxious to get back to Madison to help her with her faucet. After all, he was a man of his word. He’d promised to come back today, or as it was, tonight as he noticed the sun was now beginning its descent for the day and he wouldn’t let her down.

  Cade had been pretty pissed he’d shown up an hour late for their appointment, but as soon as Rowan told him why, his anger quickly faded. Cade got a look in his eye indicating the wheels in that brain of his were working overtime.

  “So, is this new neighbor cute?” Cade asked once Rowan finished telling him about Madison and her faucet dilemma.

  “I wouldn’t call her cute, more like, beautiful. Down to earth beauty is what she possesses. She’s no Erin by any means, but yeah, she’s beautiful in her own kind of way.”

  “I’m not interested in comparing her to Erin. As far as I’m concerned, that woman is not beautiful at all. Her heart makes her physically ugly as well. And honestly, you shouldn’t be comparing any other women to Erin, either. Rowan, you have to let go of that. Not every woman is like her.”

  “Yes, but every single one of them has the potential to break my heart like she did and I refuse to put myself in that situation again.”

  “Right, even though this woman has already affected you?”

  “Madison,” Rowan said without a thought.

  “What?”

  “Her name is Madison, not this woman. And she hasn’t affected me in any way.”

  “Wow, I can so see that she hasn’t affected you. At all.” The sarcasm rolled from Cade’s tongue.

  Rowan shook his head, “I can’t, Cade. I can’t give another woman that much control over me. I can’t open myself up for another heart break; I wouldn’t be able to handle it when she walked away.”

  “Rowan, you can’t just automatically expect that. You never know, she may just be the woman for you. Tell me about her.”

  “I don’t really know much, other than she’s absolutely beautiful, has a sweet disposition about her and as soon as I got close to her, everything stopped. Nothing else seemed to matter.” He paused remembering the way she reacted to him, “Then I noticed her breathing became shallow and when I grabbed her hand, I felt a slight tremble shoot up her arm. No one has ever had that kind of reaction to me before, Cade. The problem with that, however, is that it’s completely physical. Which normally I wouldn’t mind, but there is something about Madison that tells me the physical wouldn’t be enough for her. Even her name makes me feel things I never even felt before, with Erin, or anyone else.”

  Cade stood looking like a damn idiot with a smirk on his face. Rowan knew that look all too well. He’d given Cade the same look when he realized he had it bad for his sister.

  “Let’s just get this honeymoon planning over with. I promised Madison I’d be back to help her with her faucet.” He loved saying her name. It sounded perfect and felt so right on his tongue.

  “You’re going back over there? Tonight?”

  “Of course, I told her I’d try to fix her faucet so she didn’t have to call a plumber. Plus, she’s got a lot of unpacking and she doesn’t really have the time to deal with plumbers and faucets.”

  “Of course not. Yeah, let’s get this honeymoon stuff over with so you can go fix your neighbor’s faucet,” sarcasm lacing his voice.

  While Rowan was glad to see that Cade was so meticulous about planning the honeymoon, time couldn’t have crept along slower if it had completely stopped. Checking his watch every five minutes hadn’t sped it up either. Cade wanted everything to be perfect for Tessa, whereas Rowan knew she wouldn’t care where they went just as long as she was with him. Although Rowan had been pissed about how long it had taken Cade, he knew he couldn’t have picked a better husband for his sister and he was happy for the both of them.

  Now, standing outside Madison’s door, he was torn between guarding his heart or letting the past be the past. When he’d sat and talked to Cade about her, something inside him clicked. That something had been the realization that he couldn’t go on through life the way he had been since his break up. Burying all concerns that carried over from the one serious relationship would be hard to do, but would Madison be worth it? Hell, he didn’t have plans of jumping in heart first, he just wanted to get to know Madison and see where things might lead. He didn’t even know if they were compatible. Rowan questioned whether he was putting too much thought into the whole situation. He should just let nature take its course and go with it. At this point, the only thing drawing him to Madison was her natural beauty. He knew nothing about her personality, what she enjoyed doing, or anything of substance. She may be some kind of psychopath who tended to be clingy and needy, two things he didn’t handle well at all. He needed a change; something different than the same old boring routine he’d been living for the last six months. He decided Madison would be just the change he needed. If nothing else, he could possibly gain a friend from it. He gave the doorbell one more ring. If she didn’t answer, he’d come back tomorrow.

  “Hold one second,” he heard her sweet voice just behind the solid wood door separating them.

  “It’s me, Rowan.”

  “I know, just give me a second.”

  Madison was appalled at how she looked. There was no way she could let Rowan see her in such a disarray; he’d hit the ground running for sure. She rushed to the bathroom, threw water on her face, tucked her t-shirt into her khaki shorts, adjusted her ponytail so her hair looked somewhat presentable and huffed at her appearance. She’d never been a beauty queen; she’d been fine with that, at least until she laid eyes on Rowan. Now, she wished she were more beautiful. What she wouldn’t give to look like the kind of woman Rowan would follow around like a lost puppy.

  Standing there looking at herself wishing she were someone else, took her back to many talks she’d had with her parents when she was younger. They’d always been there when she’d been put down for not being the prettiest girl or feeling disappointment when a boy she liked didn’t give her a second glance. Her dad had told her over and over growing up, that a man worth his weight in gold would see her beauty from the inside out. She could still hear the words of wisdom he’d always repeat to her.

  Pumpkin, beauty on the inside is more important than physical beauty any day of the week. Physical beauty fades, but beauty found in the soul is everlasting. A man worth giving your heart to, is a man who desires the heart of a woman above all else. That kind of love is eternal, growing stronger with the passing of time.

  As an only child, she grew up wit
h her father’s unfailing love and undivided attention. She was a daddy’s girl and she enjoyed every minute of it. There wasn’t a wasted weekend or day off when it came to her. She remembered so many times when he would put off house chores to take her fishing, camping or would just sit on the couch with her watching some chick flick. Any extracurricular activities she’d had, he was there. He never missed a thing when it came to her. When he passed away midway through her freshman year in college, it was the worst time of her life. Her studies suffered, any friends she’d made at the beginning of the school year quickly faded, and the passion for life she’d enjoyed died the moment she received the phone call from her mother breaking the news he’d passed away from a heart attack. Had it not been for the strength her mother possessed and her constant reminders of the dreams her father had for her, Madison would have quit school; quit life. The man who held their family together with a love that was beyond measure had left a gaping hole in her heart. It was a hole no other man would be able to fill. Madison knew the moment she found out he was gone, she’d never settle for anything less than the best for her; for her daddy’s little girl. He’d spent her whole life making sure that she understood her importance and worth and she had no intention of letting him or herself down.

  Now, however, standing in the hallway bathroom she worried about what some man, who meant nothing to her, thought. She mentally slapped and reprimanded herself for being so shallow. The disappointment she knew her father would have was enough to bring her back to her senses. She couldn’t believe he actually come back, though. When he left, she was sure Rowan wouldn’t and that she would be calling a plumber to her home at some point tomorrow. Yet, there he stood, just on the other side of her front door waiting for her let him in.

  Suddenly, her small two bedroom home, felt much smaller and suffocating as she made her way up the hall to the front room. She had to keep reminding herself to breathe and that he was just a man; an amazingly overwhelming man who made her core burn and her heart stutter.

  A hot doctor man that just so happens to look yummy enough to eat.

  Just as Madison reached for the doorknob the bell rang again, startling her enough to cause her to skip a step, almost stumbling. Damn, the man was impatient. Weren’t doctors supposed to be less uptight? She’d already told him to give her a second. Granted, she had left him on the porch to wait for her, so she figured this was an attribute that could she could overlook. She swung the door open and before she could get a word out an aroma whiffed to her nose, sending the signal to her stomach. She didn’t know what it was, but her stomach didn’t care one way or the other. He held food in his hands, a quick reminder that she hadn’t eaten all day. Her stomach made a rumbling sound loud enough to wake the dead.

  “I brought take out,” Rowan said as he lifted the brown paper bag, a smile on his face.

  “Oh, you didn’t need -”

  “I know I didn’t need. Something you will learn quickly about me is that I don’t do things out of obligation, I do them because I want to.”

  “Well, in that case, thank you. I’m not sure if I have any plates or silverware unpacked yet. Let me go check.”

  “No need. I grabbed some paper plates and plastic forks from my place on the way over here. I’m assuming that since I asked you not to touch anything, you can’t use your faucet yet, so I didn’t want you to dirty any dishes that you might not be able to wash tonight. I hope you like Chinese.”

  Rowan said it with a hopeful tone He wanted to find a woman who enjoyed at least some of the things he did. Chinese food being one of those things, along with surfing, camping, and definitely spending time on the beach. Erin didn’t enjoy any of the things Rowan did and he was fine with that. He had buddies he hung out with and enjoyed those things with, but when she wouldn’t even try Chinese food it put a strain on their relationship. Of course, it didn’t break up the relationship, she did that all on her own, but she didn’t like it and so they would never eat it. If he ever wanted it, he had to get it on his lunch break at work and that didn’t happen often since he rarely took a break.

  “Are you kidding? I love Chinese. Especially spring egg rolls. Yum. Please, tell me you brought egg rolls. In about ten minutes, my stomach is going to love you.”

  Rowan stood amazed at Madison. She’d just revealed all he needed to know about her, for the moment. The eggs rolls were always his favorite also and he always made sure to get an extra order. Thankfully, he brought two extra orders and was he ever glad. He was happy that Madison liked what he brought to eat, but honestly, there was no way, no matter how taken aback by her he found himself, would he be sharing his egg rolls with her. He wasn’t even sure that if he ever got married he would share with his significant other. He was damn serious about his food.

  Rowan’s heart did that smiley thing again and he couldn’t ignore the fact that Madison caused it. In just the short time they had spent together earlier and the time she consumed his mind while away from her, he’d smiled more and felt more at ease than he had since the morning of his wedding when Cade and Tessa broke the news of Erin’s actions.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t normally get so excited over food, but I got so busy unpacking that I didn’t stop to eat.”

  “No need to apologize.” Rowan looked around the living room and took inventory. Every box he’d seen earlier still sat in its place unmoved; untouched. He hoped the boxes that were unpacked where the ones littering the kitchen. He didn’t mind helping her, but he did feel a little enclosed with them all surrounding him.

  “What did you unpack?” he asked with a smirk on his face.

  As soon as her pale creamy skin turned the rosy red he was quickly coming to adore, he realized it was the one room in the house she probably didn’t want him to see. And the one room in the house he’d like to be in right now with her.

  “I…” Madison turned away, wanting desperately to avoid any eye contact, “I haven’t slept in my own bed in well over a week, so I spent all day getting my bedroom in order.”

  “Ah, I see. Moving can be difficult and honestly it’s probably the first room I would have unpacked,” as much as he enjoyed the coloring of her skin, he did feel some compassion for her that she’d probably not had a good night sleep in a while, “Well, how about we just move some boxes and we can eat on the floor? Do you have an extra blanket we could use? If not, I can run home and get one.”

  “I’ll grab one,” she said as she reached into one of the smaller boxes sitting close by and pulled out a green and white oversized blanket, laying it on the floor.

  They sat, eating in silence for most of the meal. Madison smiled as she watched Rowan devour the egg rolls and laughed when he’d explained his obsession with them. She would never get over how some men reacted when it came to food. Her mother had always told her the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, though her father was always quick to argue the point. She had been privileged to see firsthand, however, the many times he would get a spark in his eyes when her mother would make his favorite dishes. He’d kiss her on the neck or hug her from behind while the aroma of his favorite foods filled the air. Madison smiled at the memories of her parents. They never held back their affections for one another, something she appreciated now as an adult. She hoped that one day she would be able to find someone that she could enjoy the same way. She quickly brought herself back to the here and now, focusing on finishing her meal.

  Before Madison could finish her own meal, Rowan downed his last bite then excused himself to the kitchen to continue his work on the faucet. He worked diligently for well over an hour before Madison decided to make her way to the small room. She stood at the entryway, watching him kneel with his head tucked into the cabinet. His muscles bunching underneath the confines of his shirt with every movement he made, while his jeans clutched onto his ass the way she wished her hands would. Suddenly, she realized she needed to lean against the door frame. He made her weak in the knees and he didn’t have a clue the rea
ction she was having to him.

  “How’s the faucet coming along?” she asked in almost a whisper. She didn’t want to startle him.

  Madison hoped it would take longer, because, honestly, she enjoyed having him in her home no matter how disarrayed everything was. She also realized he was probably just being neighborly, probably more than ready to get the hell out of there.

  “I’m just finishing up. You might want to stand back before I turn this on,” he told her as he pulled himself from the cabinet and stood.

  Rowan truly laughed for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, when he thought of the earlier incident resulting in him being covered in water. When Madison stepped behind a tower of boxes to shield herself, he grabbed his side and doubled over with laughter. He wiped the wetness from his eyes before leaning around the tower to find her staring straight into the boxes; a look of hope on her face that they would offer protection from any unnecessary shower.