Secrets

by Terry Towers

  I quickly backed away from him, my blue eyes wide with terror, until the back of my legs hit the sofa and I went tumbling backward onto it with a squeal.

  “Anna!” Jaxson rushed to the sofa and was about to sit next to me but stopped, uncertainty in his expression. “What’s going on?”

  “Mamo!” Hearing Ura’s little voice calling out to me as he rushed from his bedroom broke me from the panic I was feeling and pulled me back to reality.

  Looking up into Jaxson’s confused eyes, I felt heat rush to my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I managed to mutter before Ura rushed into my arms, holding me tight. “I –”

  “You hurt Mamo!” Ura accused, glaring up at Jaxson.

  “What? No…” Jaxson’s eyes nervously shifted from me to Ura and back to meet mine. “I didn’t mean to…”

  “He didn’t hurt me, любий.” Lightly grasping Ura’s upper arms, I pushed him gently away and let him take a look at me while forcing a smile to my lips. “See, I’m okay.”

  “But –”

  Damn, this hurt. A five-year-old shouldn’t have the weight of worrying about his mother’s well-being on his shoulders. The thought shouldn’t even be crossing his mind. I should have gotten us out of the situation with Alexander sooner, even if it had meant killing the bastard with my bare hands. But, I’d been too damned scared and weak to stand up for myself, for us. I wasn’t worthy of being his mother; a sob caught in my throat at the thought.

  But, you’re free now, a voice at the back of my mind reminded me. But I knew I wasn’t entirely, Alexander still had a grip on me – on us – and that was evident by my little outburst a moment ago.

  Chapter 4

  Jaxson

  As I watched Anastasia reassure Ura she was all right, I started to understand – I thought – what may be going on, partially at least.

  She spoke to him in a language I wasn’t familiar with – Ukrainian I suspected – and he nodded his head. Whether she was speaking in another language so he’d understand better, or because she didn’t want me to know what she was saying I wasn’t sure, although I suspected the latter. “Da, Mamo.” Giving me a look over his shoulder he pulled out of Anastasia’s arms and walked past me and to his room, disappearing inside. Moments later I heard his game going.

  “Anastasia, what’s going on? You can tell me.” I hesitated before going to the sofa and sitting next to her. I was aching to give her a hug, but refrained.

  “It’s fine. Ura…” She waved her hand at the door as if dismissing his behaviour and forcing a smile on her lips. “He’s protective.”

  “You freaked out when I held you Anna.”

  She straightened her back, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. “It was nothing. Forget about it.”

  I hesitated; if she didn’t want to tell me her secrets then she wouldn’t, but I needed to know. “If you’re running from someone, or someone hurt you, you need to tell me. You can trust me Anastasia.”

  Anger began to simmer in her eyes, warning me to back off. I couldn’t. “It’s none of your business, Jaxson.”

  “I own this building, if there is any danger for you here then I need to know.”

  “If you’re concerned we can leave.” Her accent was becoming thicker with each word and her body trembled ever so slightly.

  We both knew she had nowhere to go. “I don’t want you to leave, but I need to know if you need me to protect you. I will. But I can’t protect someone if I don’t know if there’s a real danger.”

  Why was this so damned hard for her to talk to me about? What did she think I was going to do? Couldn’t she see I wanted to help?

  “Everything. Is. Fine,” she spat, visibly angry. She jumped from the sofa and made her way across the room to the door and pulled it open. “Maybe this friendship isn’t working out. I think it’s time for you to leave now.”

  I had no idea how to handle this, but the fact that she was dismissing my offer of friendship hurt. Every time I saw her my cock ached from the need to be buried deep within the warmth of her core, but I was willing to endure that for her friendship. That wasn’t an offer women normally got from me and I won’t lie, it hurt me. I wanted – no needed – her to trust me.

  Taking a deep breath in I slowly released it and stood; the look in her eyes told me I wasn’t going to change her mind. I wasn’t exactly sure what she’d endured, but my pressing the issue wasn’t going to get me anywhere, that was obvious.

  I paused before her and saw a flash of anguish in her stunning blue eyes. Fuck, why couldn’t she just let me help her? I opened my mouth and then snapped it shut again knowing it was no use and left without another word.

  Fuck it, I have to open the bar in a couple hours anyhow, I thought as the door closed behind me. The bar… Women… Moist pussy begging to be fucked, just what I needed to relieve the tension that was coiled up within me. I hadn’t fucked a woman since Anastasia arrived. Admittedly, I didn’t want her thinking I was as much of a man-whore as I was. But fuck it, she didn’t want me in her life in any capacity aside from being a landlord anyhow…

  Anastasia

  I bolted upright in bed at the sound of a loud bang and groan coming from the hallway.

  Shit! I’d spent most of the night tossing and turning, consumed with guilt and anxiety over the way things were left between me and Jaxson. Why did I have to be so fucked up? I didn’t have a single friend in the world and neither did Ura and the one person who was offering friendship, I tossed out of my apartment. For what? For being concerned for me?

  But, Alexander seemed like a good guy… before you moved to America, a voice at the back of my mind nagged.

  Another thump sounded, forcing me wide awake and unable to ignore what may or may not be going on. Springing from the bed, I first checked on Ura, and discovered him sleeping soundly. A third bang came from the hallway. My first thought as I reached the door was that it might be Alexander, but I quickly dismissed that idea. There was no way he could know where I was. No possible way.

  My second thought was Jaxson; he’d fallen or gotten hurt. The idea of Jaxson needing assistance was all I needed to rush to the door and pull it open without taking the time to look through the peephole.

  A gasp escaped my lips as my eyes fell onto Jaxson and a dark-haired woman in the hallway. Jaxson had her pressed up against the wall beside his door and his lips were devouring one of her nipples as she moaned in ecstasy. Hearing my gasp, the couple froze.

  Jaxson released the woman and turned to look at me; his eyes were bloodshot and it was evident he was well on his way to being intoxicated. The woman didn’t look much better, slumped against the wall, swaying on her heels with her large breasts fully exposed as her tube top was bunched around her waist.

  “Anna.”

  I planted my hands on my hips and glared at Jaxson. This shouldn’t be any of my business and I certainly had no right to be jealous or angry, but I was. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing!” I fumed. “And don’t you dare call me Anna!”

  He gave me a lopsided grin and jerked his head toward the woman. “Was ’bout to fuck her.”

  “Who’s she?” the woman asked, her eyes narrowing at me.

  “Da neighbour.”

  “I have a child sleeping in the other room. What if he were to see this?”

  Jaxson shrugged. “We’re just havin’ some fun. Fuck.”

  With a huff, I gave him a disgusted look, spun on my heel and entered my apartment, slamming the door behind me. Men, always thinking with their dicks.

  It’s none of my business, it’s his place. I have no business telling him what to do and where to do it. It’s not like I had any intentions to be with him. I’d made that perfectly clear earlier today.

  I gave my head a shake and wiped the tears that had formed in my eyes. I’d spent my lifetime being used and literally abused by men, the last thing I needed was to throw myself into something with yet another man. But a part of me still believed in the fairy tale,
and that was the problem. My parents were happily married for twenty years before they died in a car crash, leaving me an orphan to fend for myself. True love existed, but after what I saw in the hallway I knew without a doubt it didn’t exist with the man across the hallway, despite the attraction I felt for him. I’d rejected him and he’d turned to the first bar-whore he could find.

  Crossing the living room, I entered the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of aspirin from the overhead kitchen cabinet. A headache was beginning to form, starting as a soft throb at my temples. In my frustrated state it seemed impossible to open the top despite numerous tries.

  “Damn!” Angered I chucked the bottle across the kitchen. When it hit the refrigerator the top popped off and dozens of little oval-shaped pills spilt over the ceramic floor.

  “Anna!” Jaxson’s voice bellowed accompanied by his knocking loudly on my door. My first instinct was to ignore him, but another knock came. “I have a key you know!”

  I wanted to ignore him, but despite Ura being a sound sleeper if Jaxson kept it up Ura would be awake within a few minutes. Furious, I raced across the living room and flung open the door and glared up at him. “What is wrong with you? What do you want, Jax?”

  He met my glare, holding his ground, but not advancing. “You have no right to be pissed Anna.”

  I glanced around him and noticed the girl was gone. I huffed. “Where’s the whore?” I could hear the thickness of my accent coming through, the accent I tried so hard to cover, but at this instant I didn’t give a damn.

  “Gone.”

  Crossing my arms over my chest I smirked. “I’m sure there are many more down there to choose from.”

  “Why are you angry?”

  I knew, but didn’t want to admit it, so my lips formed into a tight line and I refused to answer. To make matters worse, I knew he knew as well.

  “So I can’t get laid now? According to you, we can’t even be friends.” He spread his hands to the sides. “And God forbid I get laid. That it?”

  “I don’t care who you fuck.” That was a bold-faced lie and I knew that he knew it. I’m a horrible liar and he could see through every one of them that I tried to tell. I attempted to close the door on him, but even in his semi-intoxicated state he was faster, putting a hand out to stop the door from closing.

  “Oh no. You’re giving me some answers, Anastasia.” He walked past me and plunked himself onto the sofa. “And I’m not leaving until you do.”

  He was pretty firmly rooted on the sofa. There was no way he was going to be reasonable and leave without something. With a sigh of resignation I closed the door, locked it and stood before him, my arms crossed over my chest.

  Running my hand through my hair, I gave my head a shake. “Jax, I’m too tired for this and you’re drunk.”

  “Then by all means, go to bed.” He untied his boots and kicked them off under the coffee table and reclined further into the sofa. “I’ll be here when you wake up to talk. And I’m not that drunk.” Grabbing a throw pillow he adjusted it behind him and stretched out on the sofa, closing his eyes.

  I spread my hands out to the sides. “What do you want from me? I’m sorry for what I said earlier. Okay? Is that it?”

  He slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to look at me. “That’s a start.”

  “We had a deal. You wouldn’t ask about my past and I wouldn’t ask why you had commitment issues.”

  “It’s time to adjust the terms of our agreement.”

  I sighed and walked over to the sofa. Grabbing his legs, I tossed them over to the side, making him sit up so there was a place for me to sit down. “What do you want to know?”

  Placing his elbows on his knees, he leaned forward and didn’t speak a moment. Once he appeared to have his mind set on how he was going to word his question he looked at me. “Did your husband beat you?”

  I sat frozen in shock. How did he know I was married? Were Ura and I in the news? Had Alexander gone public with our disappearance? I really thought he wouldn’t let anyone know, because he’d be more interested in making us disappear forever if he ever found us.

  Jaxson nodded toward my left hand. “I can see the tan lines along your ring finger from your wedding band and after today I assumed you must have been in an abusive relationship. My father used to beat on my mother when I was growing up. It wasn’t until it happened on the front lawn in front of the neighbours and the neighbours reported it that he was arrested and sent to prison.”

  “How old were you when that happened?”

  He shrugged. “Twelve, maybe. Thirteen.”

  “That must have been horrible!”

  “Yeah, well, that’s in the past. My mother’s new husband is a good enough guy. Treats her well, spoils her in my opinion, but she deserves to be spoilt.”

  “Do you speak with your father anymore?”

  His jaw clenched and he gave his head a shake, his already dark eyes further darkening as he settled back into the sofa, facing me. “You’re changing the subject. We’re not talking about me, but you.”

  Did that mean no? I was about to ask, but changed my mind; he seemed pretty intent on getting some answers and truth was, I really needed to talk about it. Not for his benefit, but for my own. I certainly wouldn’t unload all of it, but at least unload a tiny bit. There were some things in my past that I was too ashamed to admit. As long as Jaxson didn’t know details and my deeper, darker secrets, then what would it hurt? Besides, he’d had a number of drinks in him, there was a chance he’d barely remember our conversation.

  “So, I’m right?”

  Pulling my legs up onto the sofa I pulled them tight to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs and placing my chin on my knees. Our eyes locked and after taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it, I nodded.

  “You’re right. I was married.”

  He cocked a brow up at me. “Was?”

  “Technically, still am.”

  “So you have a husband out there looking for his wife and child? Ahh fuck, Anna.”

  “Ura isn’t his, in any form.”

  “Where’s his father?”

  “Dunno. Back in Ukraine somewhere, I guess.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, seemed to think twice and snapped it shut again.

  I huffed. “Trust me, Ura’s father has no desire to seek us out.” I didn’t want to admit I had no idea who Ura’s father was and prayed Jaxson wouldn’t push it. That wasn’t information I was willing to divulge.

  “So your husband –”

  “Yes, he was abusive. I fought back, things went bad and so I took Ura and we ran.”

  “Is that why you don’t have identification?”

  I nodded. “He has our passports, citizenship, everything.”

  “Why run? Go to the police.”

  I snorted and gave my head a violent shake, my blonde hair whipping into my face with the movement. “I can’t.”

  Jaxson leaned forward, his brow furrowing, and placed a hand on my cheek. “You need to go to the police, have the bastard arrested. I’ll go with you. There’s no reason why you should be forced to run.”

  “You don’t know him, Jaxson. He’s not… normal.” Thrusting a hand into my hair I growled my frustration as I fought to find a way to explain what I meant.

  “I don’t follow.”

  “He won’t be arrested. The police are his friends. They won’t arrest him. And I have no proof.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “It’s the truth. Ura and I just need to disappear and stay away.” He was about to protest, but I shook my head again, taking his hand into mine and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Trust me. I know my husband. You don’t know what he’s capable of. We’ll think of something, make it work.”

  “Dammit Anna.” He intertwined his fingers in mine, holding tight to my hand, and I welcomed the small show of affection. “Ura needs to go to school. You won’t be able to get a job without identification. How are you going to work that?�
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  “I don’t know. I have things. Expensive things. Handbags. Jewelry. Stuff. I can sell it. I don’t need or want those things.”

  “And school for Ura? You can’t enroll him in school without identification.”

  My anger and frustration began to grow within me. “I know this, Jax. I understand. I’ll make it work. Trust me, please.”

  “What happens when you sell off your stuff and are left with no money? The time will come.” There was genuine concern in his expression that touched me.

  A soft smile spread across my lips. “I could work for you. I could be a server or shooter girl or whatever.” The idea had crossed my mind a couple of times, but I couldn’t find a good opportunity to ask. He prided himself on having everything on the up and up. I knew my request would be putting him in a hard position. But the truth was, working for him would lessen my burden substantially.

  “Shit, Anastasia.” He released my hand, raked his fingers into his hair and sighed.

  “Forget it, it was just an idea.” Forcing a smile onto my lips, I attempted to keep the disappointment from my voice. “We’ll be fine. It was a stupid idea.”

  “Damn. Have you ever worked at a bar before?”

  Giving him a rueful smile I shook my head. “Never. But I’m a fast learner.”

  “If I do –”

  My smile became genuine and I clapped my hands together in excitement. “Really!”

  Clearing his throat, he sat up straight, holding his index finger up to me. “IF I do this, then none of the other workers can know you’re under the table.”

  “Of course not!”

  “And no making excuses for not showing up. You have to make sure you have a sitter for Ura.”

  I was nearly bouncing with excitement. Jaxson had no idea how much this meant to me, had no way of knowing without knowing my full story. I felt like I was winning the lottery, just getting a job. I’d do virtually anything to ensure Ura and I would be okay financially. Serving drinks and cleaning tables was a primo job compared to the things I had to do back in Ukraine to keep a roof over Ura’s head. “Yes, yes, of course!”