Secrets

by Terry Towers

  Releasing a loud huff of air, he nodded. “Then if you’d like to be my new shooter girl…”

  Letting out a yelp of excitement I threw myself into his arms. The force from my body colliding into his sent him backward onto the sofa, my body covering his. Placing a hand on the arm rest on either side of his head, I quickly placed a string of random kisses over his face. It wasn’t until my lips covered his and he responded that I realized what I’d started. But I couldn’t pull back, his lips were too enticing, tasting of spearmint with a hint of beer.

  Perhaps it was the fact he didn’t touch me, instead he kept his hands firmly at his sides, as if touching me would scare me away; chances are he’d be right and it would. Instead, he let me lead the way, parting his lips and inviting me to deepen the kiss and explore him further, but not forcing it.

  My body trembled with need with the feel of his cock as it began to thicken under me as I straddled him, urging me to kiss him with more intensity. As our tongues touched, a low moan escaped me and my fingers dug into the soft blue fabric of the sofa. I longed to ask him to touch me, caress every inch of my body and lose myself in the arms of a man who would touch me with tenderness and affection, but reality broke through the fantasy. He was my landlord and now my boss and I was a married woman on the run from a monster.

  With reluctance I pulled back and scampered off of him and took solace in the emptiness of the opposite end of the sofa. “I’m sorry,” I managed to mutter under my breath. A flush touched my cheeks and I lowered my gaze, embarrassed by my wanton behavior.

  When he didn’t respond I slowly looked up, thrusting a hand into my hair and pushing a stray lock from my eyes. When our gazes locked, I could see the desire raging in his dark eyes and the struggle within him to keep control.

  Slowly he nodded his head. “I’d better get going before we wake Ura.”

  Chewing at my lower lip I returned his nod. “Yes.” I didn’t want him to go. It felt good being with him. For the first time in a very long time, I felt safe. “That would be for the best.”

  He stood. “I think I can get you a sitter if you want to start tomorrow night. One of the bartenders has a daughter in college looking for some extra cash. If you want I can pay her and take it from your wages.”

  “Thank you. That would be perfect.”

  “All right.” He took a step toward me, as if to touch me, or perhaps steal another kiss, seemed to think twice about it and stepped away, making a hasty retreat for the door. “Goodnight, Anastasia.”

  He didn’t wait for my response, but opened the door and disappeared, locking the door behind him.

  I sat looking at the closed door a moment, as I let out an unsteady breath.

  Friends only Anna, I told myself. All he can ever be is a friend. He deserves better than someone in your position.

  Chapter 5

  Jaxson

  Deeper and deeper; that’s what I was getting when it came to Anastasia. It wasn’t a good situation, and I was beginning to experience feelings I hadn’t experienced in years. As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn’t. The kiss from the previous night was etched in my mind, a cruel reminder of what I couldn’t have. She wasn’t ready and even if she were, what kind of future could we have? And she certainly wasn’t the type you fucked and left the next morning for the next conquest.

  “What do you think, boss? I do good?” Anastasia beamed as she smiled at me. Rolling up the dishtowel she’d been using to wipe off the tables now that the bar was closed, with a flick of the wrist she sent it whizzing through the air to land across my ass. My jeans took most of the blow¸ leaving barely a sting, although I grunted from the blow.

  “Hey! Behave! That’s inappropriate behavior in the workplace,” I chastised her, but my scowl quickly turned to a smile. “I’m your boss, you know.”

  “Spoilsport.” She gave me a wink and began wiping down the bar. All of the other staff had left for the evening, leaving just the two of us to finish cleaning up.

  “How did you do for tips?” After counting off the float for the register, I slammed it closed and zipped up the deposit envelope.

  Her eyes lit up as she dropped the dishtowel, stuffed her hands into the front of her small, black apron and produced several handfuls of bills and coins. “Dunno.”

  Leaning back against the counter I watched her thumb through the cash and coins, quickly separating the money into piles and counting it. By the time she was finished counting she was quite literally bouncing with excitement.

  “Almost $120, oh my God! Can you imagine!”

  “I can. You’re very popular. And very good.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. “Thank you. It’s not often I get complimented for something.” She straightened up to her full height, a wide smile on her lips. “Feels good.”

  “I doubt that.” Amused, I laughed with her.

  Her mood soured. “Only compliment I ever received was…” Her mouth snapped shut, her lips forming into a tight line and her eyes taking on a faraway sad look.

  Tension began to build between us and not the hot and steamy tension from the night before, but an intense, uneasy tension that I knew I needed to defuse.

  “How about I take you out for a celebration supper. Have you eaten yet?”

  “No, I –” The tension in her expression disappeared, replaced with a smile of gratitude. “Do you think June will mind?” She looked over my shoulder at the clock mounted on the far wall. “It’s past 2am. And what would be open this late?”

  “June’s getting paid by the hour, so no worries on that, and I know a pizza place down the road that is open all night. Great mom and pop place. Amazing pizza.”

  She swept her tongue along her lower lip. “Would you believe I’ve never had pizza?”

  “What?” Laughing, I took her apron from her and passed her a baggie for her tips. “You’re kidding.”

  “No, Al–” She paused. “My husband wouldn’t allow any foods in the house that weren’t healthy. I wasn’t allowed pizza and it just wasn’t a usual food back home.”

  I knew my mouth had dropped open upon hearing her confession, but couldn’t help it. It was no wonder her figure was incredible – perhaps too thin if I were to be honest. She could easily stand to gain ten or twenty pounds or so. But fuck! He controlled where she went, what she ate, what she wore… My father had been an abusive bastard, but even he wasn’t that bad. What kind of monster had she been married to? Was she married to… Whatever the case may be. I needed to show her she could trust me, she needed to report him, get a restraining order and get out of that marriage. She’d never be free still legally tied to him. Question was, how was I going to convince her to step forward and sever those ties and put that bastard away?

  “What’s wrong? You don’t want pizza?”

  Her voice broke me from my ponderings. “No, I want to, just thinking… Let’s go.”

  ~*~*~*~*~

  Anastasia

  “Jaxson, tell me what’s wrong.” At the bar Jaxson seemed to be fine with me. We laughed and joked as we worked, we seemed to be friends again – as if the previous night hadn’t happened – but now, as we sat in his car driving toward the pizza place, he was silent, deep in thought. Had I done something wrong? Was he thinking about last night and regretting his decision to hire me?

  “Nothing.” He glanced at me and gave me a smile, but it didn’t follow through to his eyes, which remained distant.

  Gathering my courage, I asked what was plaguing my thoughts. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have…” I shrugged. “You know.”

  Giving me another glance, he smiled. “It doesn’t have a thing to do with last night. We got a little caught up and kissed, it wasn’t a big deal, Anna.”

  Tearing my eyes from his, I looked out the side window and watched as we drove past a line of townhouses, hoping he didn’t see the hurt that surely flashed in my eyes. Wasn’t a big deal… I huffed at my naiveté. Of course it wasn’t a big deal to
him. He had normal relationships in his past. He’d felt passion. He’d felt tenderness. He’d had high school sweethearts and normal break-ups.

  I felt his eyes on me a couple of times while we drove, but refused to meet his gaze. If I did I was scared he might see the pain I was feeling within. When the car parked I forced myself to look at him and then step out of the car.

  “Are you sure they’re open?” Crinkling my nose up at the dimly lit restaurant, I couldn’t see a soul inside.

  “They are. It’s just the time of night.” Taking my hand he led me to the entrance, and sure enough the door opened and he escorted me inside. A soft dinging sounded as we entered.

  As we approached the counter an elderly woman, with her white hair pulled up into a tight top bun, stepped out from the kitchen to greet us. “Well, well, well, Jaxson Langley, it’s about time you came around. I haven’t seen you in ages.” She shifted her gaze from Jaxson to me. “Aren’t you a beautiful one. Jaxson always did have an eye and talent for getting the beautiful girls.”

  Looking over at Jaxson, I lifted a questioning brow at him and he merely shrugged.

  “What’s your name dear?” the woman asked, gaining my attention once more.

  I hesitated, giving people information wasn’t something I wanted to do, even if it was just my name. I took another look at the sweet elderly woman’s face and decided once wouldn’t hurt. “Anastasia. Good to meet you.”

  The woman smiled wide. “What a beautiful accent you have. Where are you from?”

  Taking another peek at Jaxson out of the corner of my eye I saw the corners of Jaxson’s lips curl up into a grin. Nope, I wasn’t getting a smidge of help from him.

  “Ukraine.”

  “Wow, dear. You’ve moved quite a long ways away from home.”

  “We’re famished, Gretchen, don’t suppose we could get one of your incredible meat pizzas?” Jaxson interrupted to my relief, before Gretchen could continue her inquisition.

  Gretchen paused and then gave a slight nod. “Coming right up. A couple Cola to go with it?”

  “That would be great. Thanks.” Taking my hand, Jaxson led me to a booth in a far back corner of the restaurant, out of earshot of the sweet older woman.

  A hint of disappointment came over me as he released my hand and sat down opposite of me. How can we be friends when I want more? When I wanted what I knew I couldn’t have. Being in his presence was like self-torture. I’d been thinking of our kiss all day; thinking about it and dreaming of a repeat of that kiss. I wanted the butterflies in my stomach and the feel of my pulse racing. I longed to know what it felt like to have a man touch me with tenderness and whose goal was my pleasure for a change.

  “I didn’t mean it wasn’t a big deal.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I know why you’re upset with me. I saw the change in you when I made that stupid remark. It wasn’t my intention to upset you.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Despite my words my face gave me away as I felt the warmth colour my cheeks. I broke eye contact and gazed out into the parking lot and focused on his black Ford Mustang. “There’s nothing wrong.”

  “Anna.” The feel of his hands covering mine on the tabletop forced my attention back to him.

  “We got carried away. I was happy and excited and I shouldn’t have kissed you. We’re friends. That’s it.”

  “What if that’s not it?”

  “We both know it’s complicated. You’re my boss. I’m married. Nothing can happen between us.” Forcing a smile on my face, I shrugged. “Besides, you don’t do relationships – remember? Isn’t that your thing? No strings attached.”

  “Usually.”

  God, what did he want me to say? That I wanted more and that I needed him? What good would that do anyone? “And why is that? I told you my secrets. I think it’s only fair…”

  “One meat pizza and two cola,” Gretchen announced before Jaxson could respond, although I doubt I would have gotten a satisfactory answer anyhow. The aroma of melted mozzarella and cooked meat drifted to my nose and my stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t had a stitch to eat all day.

  We mumbled our thanks and each grabbed a triangular slice from the pan and slipped it onto our plates.

  “Twenty-two years and never had a slice of pizza, that’s insanity,” Jaxson stated as he watched me pick up the slice and take a bite. The mixture of flavours assaulted my taste buds and I moaned softly. It was good, too good. I took another couple of eager bites. Yes, I could really get used to this. And in a heartbeat gain an extra twenty or thirty pounds, a voice in the back of my mind warned with disapproval. The voice in my mind sounded like Alexander’s and gave me pause, almost convincing me to set the slice down and stop eating.

  Was I that fucked up that I was still going to allow him to tell me what to eat? In an act of defiance to prove to myself he no longer had a hold on me, I finished the first slice and despite feeling full forced a second and third in me, eating so much I felt nauseated, washing it down with the large glass of soda. Once done, I flopped back into the padded booth seat and caught Jaxson’s amused gaze. He was just beginning his second slice.

  “Either you were extremely hungry, or really loved the pizza.”

  “Both.” But that wasn’t the reason for the gorging on the pizza, although I wasn’t about to tell him that.

  “Told ya, it was great.”

  “It’s your turn to give me some truth. Why all the one-night stands? Have you been in a long relationship before?”

  He finished his second slice without answering. I was about to give up on hearing an answer when he wiped his hands on a napkin and leaned back onto the seat. “I had some relationships when I was younger. Got married when I was in my early twenties. Joined the Marines, was in the Special Ops unit. And a few years after I was married, I was divorced.” His eyes grew darker, rage and hurt flashing within them as he thought about that time of his life. “I left the Marines when my time was up, bought the building we’re currently living in and remodeled the bottom into a bar. Since then I’ve stuck to one-night stands. Easier that way.”

  Less painful, you mean, I wanted to say, but refrained. One-night stands meant not having to give your heart. He was starting to make more sense to me. “So no kids?” He’d told me no before, but for some reason I felt the question needed to be asked again.

  He paused a moment and then shook his head, the rage in his eyes disappearing and the hurt intensifying. I wanted to reach across the table and take his hand, but didn’t. “Nope. Thank God for that. It was for the best. I have no desire to ever see that woman again.”

  I didn’t say a word hoping he’d explain further, but he didn’t. Although I suspected I knew. A man in the military… sent away on tours of duty… leaving his lonely wife at home. Unfortunately, it was so frequent, it was almost cliché.

  Chapter 6

  Alexander

  “Are you sure this was the girl you drove to Bangor? Bangor, Maine.” I tapped the photo of Anastasia and Ura that Boris was holding under the middle-aged, balding, pudgy bus driver’s nose. The photo was taken roughly a year ago out by our pool and was a perfect image of them both.

  “Yeah, and she had a boy with her. You don’t forget seeing a fucking sexy woman like that.” The bus driver chuckled as he looked down at the photo. “Yeah, I certainly won’t forget her for a while. She looked all high-class and uptight, but it’s always the uptight ones that are the wildest, if you know what I mean.” He gave me a wink as if we were sharing the same fantasy of her, although I seriously doubted what he wanted to do to her and what I did were even remotely the same thing. “Her face was a bit fucked up though; black eye and I think her lip was swollen. Can’t remember exactly. Been a long time.”

  Seeing him leering at the photograph caused a familiar rage to fill me. When I was a teenager I’d been told that I desperately needed intense anger therapy, to help suppress my violent tendencies. Idiots, I didn’t n
eed fucking therapy. I’d found something better – Anastasia. Whenever I felt the rage I’d string her up and take it out on her stunning ivory flesh. But she wasn’t here, she’d been gone for close to two months now, so the bus driver would have to be the one to bear the brunt of my fury.

  Grabbing the bus driver by the neck I slammed him against the side of the bus with so much force it actually made the bus rock. “That’s my fucking wife you’re talking about.”

  The other man’s eyes widened in horror, nearly bulging from his head. “I – I – I didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry. I – umm.”

  My fingers tightened around his neck and he began to struggle against my hand, clawing at my tight grip. The look of terror in his expression was a beautiful sight to me – amusing even.

  “I’m so sorry,” he grunted, like a winded pig, still struggling. “I didn’t know.”

  With a laugh I released him and took a step back and watched him slump down the side of the bus, gasping for air. “I appreciate the information.” Pulling my wallet from the inner pocket of my suit jacket, I grabbed a couple of hundred-dollar bills and tossed them into his lap. Nearly squeezing the life out of that pig-man was more therapeutic to me than any therapy session. Money well spent.

  Bangor, Maine. A wide smile spread across my lips. A nice small city. Someone like her would be easy enough to find. Why in the fuck she’d decide to hide there was beyond me, stupid bitch. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected much more than that from her.

  All I had to do now was wait for my men to track her down, and bring her home for her punishment. We’d scout every hotel and motel. Every fucking gas station and supermarket if that’s what it took.

  Maybe I wouldn’t kill her after all, maybe I’d keep her naked and locked in the basement like the animal she was and use her for my stress relief so the new wife wouldn’t be marked up as much for when she made public appearances with me. I’d been tossing that idea around my mind the past few days and liking it more and more. Although, I was still uncertain on what I was going to do with the kid. There was something a little unsettling to me about killing the kid; I’m not a complete monster after all. It wasn’t the kid’s fault his mother was an ungrateful whore.