Volume 2 - The Sighs of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  A moment later, Asahina-san and Nagato returned to their battle positions; Koizumi stood aside and held the reflector boards with his hands held up as if preparing to yell Banzai, while Haruhi sat proudly on her director’s chair. I stood about two meters behind Nagato’s black silhouette and filmed Asahina-san over her shoulder – this was the filming angle that Haruhi demanded.

  The change that followed came very suddenly.

  “OK, now fire the beam!”

  Haruhi shouted, Asahina-san made her pose without any confidence, “Mi…… Mikuru Beam!”

  The camera recorded her unnatural dejected voice as she shouted cutely and blinked.

  At that moment, the camera lens which I was looking through suddenly went pitch black.

  “Huh?”

  I didn’t know what was going on, I even thought the camera must have broken down. I moved my eye away from the camera and saw an ominous black costume and pointed hat standing before me.

  “……”

  Nagato made a fist-like gesture in front of my eyes. So she was the culprit who caused the lens to go pitch black by covering it with her right hand.

  “Huh?” Haruhi also opened her mouth looking astonished.

  The large cross that Haruhi drew was two meters in front of me, all this time Nagato was indeed standing over there. When Haruhi shouted “Action” and Asahina-san made her cute shout, the video camera did in fact show Nagato’s back. So how did Nagato manage to stand before my eyes in less than a second, as though grabbing something in her fist? I can only use spatial distortion to explain this phenomenon.

  “Huh?” Haruhi also looked confused and said, “Yuki, when did you run over there?” Nagato didn’t answer, and just aimed her obsidian-like eyes towards Asahina-san. Asahina-san widened her eyes and gave a terrified expression, she then slowly blinked……

  Nagato’s hands once again moved at the speed of light, and grabbed something in the air as though catching a flying mosquito. What happened to the star-shaped magic wand she was holding?

  Huh? I thought I just heard something strange, like a match that got lighted and then swiftly thrown into the drain.

  “Eh……?”

  Making a confused sounding exclamation was Asahina-san, she probably had no idea what was going on. Neither did I. What was Nagato doing?

  As if asking for help, Asahina-san turned her eyes towards the side…… and a strange noise came from Koizumi’s direction. I can’t be mistaken, it sounded like a broken car tire that was leaking gas……

  The reflector board that Koizumi was holding – which was basically a piece of cheap white polystyrene board – was now sliced diagonally in half. It was rare to see the usually quiet Koizumi looking stunned at the half of the reflector that got sliced off. But I didn’t have the time to enjoy such a scene.

  Nagato made her move, and it was only Nagato.

  The black figure leaped and softly landed in front of Asahina-san. Nagato then took her right hand from under her cloak and grabbed Asahina-san’s face, the little fingers pressed against Asahina-san’s forehead as though covering up her eye.

  “Kyaa…… Na… Nagato-san……!”

  Nagato hooked Asahina-san’s leg and pushed the female-lead waitress down onto the ground. The Goddess of Death now sat on top of those voluptuous breasts like riding a horse. Asahina-san yelled wailfully, grabbing Nagato’s slim arms, which were doing the attack.

  “Ah!”

  I finally came to my senses, but what on earth was going on? At first I thought Nagato merely obstructed my recording instantaneously, but I didn’t understand what followed as Koizumi’s reflector board was sliced in half, and then the time traveller got attacked by the alien. Just when did Haruhi tell them to act that way…… It doesn’t seem like it, since the director was just as stunned to silence as Koizumi and I were. I don’t think it has anything to do with their superb acting.

  “……Cut!”

  Haruhi stood up and slapped her loudspeaker against the chair.

  “Hold it, Yuki, what are you doing? This wasn’t in the script!” Nagato quietly sat on Asahina-san, whose smooth white legs were now exposed as she struggled to get up as Nagato grabbed her face.

  I heard someone muttering behind me, I turned and found Koizumi staring at the sliced edge of the reflector board and twisted his mouth. Noticing I was looking at him, he gave me a strange glance. What’s that supposed to mean?

  Forget it, I don’t care about Koizumi’s enigmatic stare. What’s important now was to stop Nagato, who had suddenly made her attack for no reason. I held my camera and ran towards the waitress and black-cloaked magician, who were huddled in one tableau.

  “Hey, Nagato, what are you doing?”

  The pointed hat turned slowly towards me. Nagato looked at me with her black hole-like eyes, her small lips looked as though they were about to open,

  “……”

  I expected her to say something, but in the end nothing was being said. Nagato looked as though she didn’t know which words to use and closed her lips, and then slowly stood up. The black cloak waved slightly on the right side as she stuck her arm back inside.

  “Sob……”

  Lying on the ground, Asahina-san looked traumatized. Of course she would be, if Nagato suddenly ran towards me without any emotion and then pushed me down, I think I’d be scared silly as well. Because right now Nagato was like those Dark Wizards that people would last want to see when walking at night. A pre-schooler would probably piss in his pants at the sight of her.

  “……”

  Nagato tilted the rim of her large pointed hat towards her brow and stood still, looking at me.

  I lifted Asahina-san, who was trembling all over, by the arm and helped her up. Asahina-san sobbed as tears trickled down her face, her eyes, which were covered by long eyelashes, were now soaked wet with tears, which further increased her charm…… Huh?

  “That’s ridiculous, just what were you two doing? Stop doing stuff that isn’t written in the script.” The director who didn’t even write a script came over, then both she and I exclaimed at the same time, “Huh?” “Mikuru-chan, what happened to your contact lens?”

  “Ah……”

  Asahina-san, who was now clutching my arm tightly, placed her finger under her left eye.

  “Eh?”

  It was natural for the three of us to look confused, we’ll just have to ask the person who knows the full details.

  “Nagato, have you seen Asahina-san’s contact lens?”

  “I haven’t.”

  Nagato replied without flinching. I had a feeling she’s lying.

  “Could it have dropped off during the brawl just now?”

  Haruhi guessed incorrectly and began to look around the ground.

  “Kyon, come help look for it as well. That lens isn’t cheap, you know, it’s the best of its kind.” I knelt down on all fours and began to help Haruhi look for it. Though I knew it was a waste of time, since I had seen that Nagato was grabbing something in her right hand when backing off from Asahina-san and then had hid it away. She then pushed Asahina-san down on the ground and grabbed her face.

  “I can’t find anything.”

  Haruhi twitched her mouth. I felt sorry for her, since I wasn’t seriously searching. I turned around and saw Koizumi toying around with the two sliced pieces of the reflector board, sticking them together then splitting them apart. You should at least come over and help!

  Koizumi smiled and said,

  “Maybe it got blown by the wind, since it’s very light.”

  Koizumi spouted his bullshit, then showed me the broken reflector board. Haruhi stood up from the ground and snatched it away.

  “What happened? It’s broken? Hmph, as expected from a cheap product. Man, the school’s Movie Club sure knows how to buy crappy stuff. Koizumi-kun, try and stick them back together with sellotape.”

  Haruhi spoke in an unconcerned way, then turned her crocodile-like eyes towards an awestruck Asahi
na-san, whose tears had stopped by now,

  “We can’t continue the scene without the colored contact lens, what should we do?” She seemed to be thinking seriously, then snapped her fingers as though a light bulb in her head had lit up, “That’s it! We’ll change it so that the eyes would change color after transformation!” “T, Transformation?” Asahina-san asked.

  “That’s right. It would be too inappropriate for you to wear a waitress costume. We’ll designate this as the costume after transformation, you’ll wear something more natural the rest of the time.”

  I found it utterly ridiculous for someone to look for realism in an already ridiculously fictional world, Haruhi sounded as though she has admitted herself that a waitress costume was too inappropriate. Asahina-san nodded her head quickly,

  “S, sure! I’d like to wear something normal as well.”

  “So during normal periods, Mikuru-chan would be wearing a bunny-girl costume.” “EH!? W,w,why?”

  “Because we only have that costume. If you wore some normal costume, it wouldn’t look attractive enough. Hang on! As for the setting, I just thought about it as well. Normally, Mikuru would be a bunny-girl attracting customers in the shopping street, yet in times of danger, she would transform into the Battle Waitress! What do you think? It’s perfect, right?”

  Didn’t you just say it was too inappropriate?

  “OK, let’s go.”

  Haruhi now revealed a sinister looking, crescent moon-shaped smile. She grabbed Asahina-san’s arms and carried Asahina-san on her back. “Eh? W…wait! Owww!!!” The waitress screamed distressfully as she got carried away into the forest.

  Hmm.

  ……Well, that’s fine with me. I can only clasp my hands together and show my apologies to Asahina-san, because I’ve been waiting for Haruhi to leave for some time already. I’ll be looking forward to your bunny-girl costume, I won’t let your sacrifice go in vain.

  ……That’s right, I must go and ask Nagato about the whole affair.

  “Well, what was that abrupt performance all about?”

  Nagato held the rim of her pointed hat down with her left hand. She hid half of her face under the shadow of the hat, then slowly stuck out her right hand. Though she was covered completely by the cloak, I could still see the white sleeve of her sailor uniform. Nagato then stuck out her right forefinger, and there was rested the blue contact lens.

  So it really was you who took it away.

  “This.”

  Nagato said slowly,

  “Laser.”

  She then stopped talking again.

  ……

  Hey, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for some time, you have not reached the minimum standards required for conveying messages clearly! At least speak for about ten seconds!

  Nagato stared at her finger and said,

  “A high intensity pulse transparent ray.”

  She said in a very slow speed. I see, it’s a highly intensity pulse transparent……

  I’m sorry, I’m getting even more confused now.

  “A laser?” I asked.

  “Yes.” Nagato replied.

  “Now that’s amazing.” Koizumi said.

  Koizumi picked up the contact lens from Nagato’s finger and examined it under the sunlight.

  “It looks like a very normal piece of lens.”

  He said something “really impressive,” but I didn’t see how I should be awed by this, and so I was hardly “impressed.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean!?”

  Koizumi smiled and said,

  “Could I please have a look at your right palm? Not yours, I meant Nagato-san’s.” The black cloaked girl looked at me, as though asking for my permission, and so I nodded back at her. After obtaining my permission, Nagato opened up her remaining four fingers, which were shut tightly a while ago. I gasped at what I saw.

  “……”

  A silent breeze blew past the three of us. I suddenly felt a sense of shiver, as I finally understood. So that explains everything.

  On the surface of Nagato’s near wrinkle-less palm were a few black holes, which looked as though it was burnt by a red hot pincers. There were about five of them.

  “I was not able to contain it.”

  Don’t talk in such a relaxed manner, it looked painful enough just looking at it.

  “It was very powerful and happened in an instant.”

  “Did the lasers come from Asahina-san’s left eye?” Koizumi asked.

  “Yes.”

  What do you mean “yes?” Has Koizumi gone nuts as well? Have they figured out what was going on already? “Commencing recovery at once.”

  Nagato said, then we looked as the black holes began to shrink and disappear in the speed of light and her palm returned to its usual white smoothness.

  “Just what was going on?”

  I could only look astonished,

  “Did Asahina-san really shoot beams from her eye?”

  “Those were not particle accelerators, but intensified rays.” What difference does it make? I don’t care whether it’s lasers, masers or atomic heat rays used to destroy Mothra’s cocoon, it’s all the same to a layman like me. What’s the difference between an ion cannon and an antiproton cannon anyway when both can be used to defeat the monster? The problem was, why did Asahina-san fire atomic heat rays even when there’re no monsters around? “It’s intensified rays, not atomic heat rays.”

  Didn’t I just say it makes no difference? I don’t need such scientific verification.

  Nagato quietly retracted her right hand, I rubbed the back of my head, while Koizumi flicked the piece of contact lens lightly with his finger.

  “Did Asahina-san originally come with this ability?”

  “No,” Nagato swiftly rejected that hypothesis, “Presently Asahina Mikuru is a normal human being, her body no different from other people.”

  “Does this colored contact-lens have any special features in it?” Koizumi continued to ask.

  “No, it is just a decoration.”

  It has to be, since Haruhi was the one who brought the piece of contact lens. Yet that was exactly where the problem was, it was because she was the one who had bought it that made it even more significant.

  This was something which had to be throughly investigated. If Nagato hadn’t dodged in front of me, then the laser from Asahina-san’s eye would have gone through the camera lens and straight into my eye, then exited from the back of my head after burning everything inside, especially my brain, which would probably stink like hell after being burned badly. That wouldn’t be a good sight.

  Speaking of which, I feel pretty embarrassed at having Nagato come and save my life again.

  “In that case,”

  Koizumi rubbed his chin and smiled wryly,

  “This was the work of Suzumiya-san, right? Since she had wanted a Mikuru Beam, so reality had been altered in accordance with her wishes.”

  “That is correct.”

  Nagato’s expression remained blank when making such a firm response. I could never be as calm as her.

  “Hang on! There’s no magic inside this piece of contact lens, right? So why did a killer laser appear just because Haruhi wished for it?”

  “Suzumiya-san does not require magic or any sort of science. As long as she believed something ‘exists,’ then it would truly ‘exist.’”

  I don’t think I could accept such an inverted way of thinking.

  “Haruhi doesn’t really wish for Asahina-san to fire beams from her eye. That was just for the movie, didn’t she say so herself? It was just a joke.”

  “Indeed.”

  Koizumi nodded his head. Don’t just accept my challenge so easily, how am I supposed to continue like that? “We all know that Suzumiya-san does possess some form of common sense, but it is also a known fact that the common sense of this world doesn’t apply to her. Perhaps it was probably due to some extraordinary event this time…… Ah, they’ve returned. Let us discuss this lat
er.” Koizumi casually placed the piece of contact lens into his shirt pocket.

  This is such a bother.

  Using human intelligence to do battle with a mysterious force that threatens to destroy the Earth; beating down the bad guys; having a supernatural battle as though it were a daily routine; interspersed with some drama within……

  To be honest, I much prefer being in that sort of story. If I didn’t have to face such circumstances now, I’d rather be involved in a totally fictional setting, the more ridiculous the better.

  But look at me now. All because I spoke to a certain classmate, I ended up triggering the source for all these disasters, meeting all sorts of weird people, and doing all sorts of strange stuff. Firing beams from the eye? Just what the hell was that? Does it have any meaning to it?

  Thinking back at the strange trio, neither Asahina-san, Nagato, or Koizumi could really prove their identities. The three of them all casually introduced themselves, yet I was crazy enough to actually believe them. While I may have experienced events that I have no choice but to believe had happened, there was a limit to everything, and I have my own sets of standards as well. Though these standards have become more and more strange lately.

  According to their statements: Asahina-san is a time traveler from the future. She never said which year she’s from, I only know the reason she came here – to observe Suzumiya Haruhi.

  Nagato was an artificially created Living Humanoid Interface by some alien entity. “What the hell is that?” You ask, you wouldn’t understand even if I told you. I’m sure half of us wouldn’t be able to understand, myself included. What were these people like her doing on this planet then? Nagato said it’s because her boss, something called the Integrated Data Sentient Entity, was very interested in Suzumiya Haruhi.

  As for Koizumi, he’s an esper sent by a group calling themselves the ‘Organization’. One of his missions involved him being transferred to this school and observing Suzumiya Haruhi.

  Although Haruhi, who plays a central role in all of this, has known this trio with extraordinary backgrounds for some time already, she has no idea of their true identities. Asahina-san described her as a “temporal distortion.” Nagato said she was a “self-evolution possibility.” Koizumi was even more ridiculous, simply calling her “God.”