A Mother's Sin

by Mia Henry

  ‘We’re going to put up a drip so that we can administer stronger pain meds’, the doctor told Ella.

  He struggled with her tiny veins. She was eventually screaming from all the prodding with the needle. She got so upset that she projectile vomited right onto Ella, who was standing in front of her.

  Despite it all, Ella was happy to be there with her and for her.

  Someday all the turbulence would abate.

  CHAPTER 24

  COPING WITH CHANGES

  Drastic changes had taken place when the girls moved in with the Kennedy’s, who had suddenly increased to a family of seven. It was challenging for all concerned. Ella had been working full time. She needed to reduce her working hours considerably, at times not even being able to work at all. Some days were very trying, especially since the changes had happened unexpectedly. Yet, with the power of endurance it eventually all fell into place.

  Ella’s curtailed involvement in the practice did have a detrimental financial effect. They survived it however and Ella would not have had it any other way as it meant that two little girls had been given a chance for a better destination. A better future!

  Then it was dealing with all the emotions. It affected the entire family.

  A few months after the girls joined the family, Tammy chose to move out and share an apartment with a friend. Even if the girls hadn’t come she probably would have moved out anyway. She was ready to spread her wings and try things on her own. Her quirky sense of humor led her to say that she ‘needed to get away from the children’s home’.

  Although Rob was extremely supportive it did put more financial and work pressure on him, and so their marriage experienced strain. It was a tempestuous storm, tossing them with winds of trials and stress, but they knew that as they waded through this debris of a dire storm, the sun would rise again and everyone would blossom under its rays.

  It would be worthwhile.

  CHAPTER 25

  NEW BEGINNINGS

  Once Richard was awarded sole custody of the girls, he decided to purchase a house not too far from Ella and make his home in the Bay. Although initially still working from Johannesburg he would provide the girls with their own home and he would continue returning to them over the weekends.

  Nearly a year after the girls moved in with the Kennedy’s, they relocated to their new home with their dad. Richard employed a house manager cum au pair who stayed with the girls during the week. Ella was also just down the road should they need her.

  The arrangement worked well.

  Although Gina was very happy, she missed her mom terribly and would continuously beg to go back to live with her.

  A couple of years later Richard allowed Gina to go back to her mother. Amber seemed more stable. She had married the lawyer the same year her children were taken away but got divorced soon after that. A few months later she was in another relationship and married again not too long after. It was her fourth marriage now but she seemed to have settled and be a lot more reliable and free from her drug addiction. Taking that into account, Richard allowed Gina to go back to live with Amber on the arrangement that he would employ an au pair to take care of Gina’s educational needs each day after school.

  Gina continued to excel at school. Not only was she coming first in class she was also top of her whole grade.

  Stella chose to rather finish her schooling in the Bay. She too was doing well and didn’t want another change in school. Stella went on to university after school to study foundation-phase teaching.

  Pedro remained a lost soul. He never married but has two children, each one from a different woman.

  Tammy wanted to still pursue her dream of becoming a pediatrician. She was unable to start in medicine the year after her gap year. She nonetheless moved to Cape Town in the hope that she would still get into medicine. As she also loved writing she enrolled to do media and communication in the interim. Her illness could not stop her pursuing her dreams until tragedy struck.

  Troy moved to Cape Town to pursue his studies there. Ella felt better about him living with his sister due to her health. But she mourned the passing of an era. The empty nest syndrome was real. There was an eerie stillness in her life that she didn’t enjoy. The hive of activity, noise, children coming and going, chaos, she missed all that. She would also worry about her chicklets that she so loved and nurtured for the past twenty years being away from the nest.

  Amy’s love for dancing just kept soaring. She was winning countless local and national awards and rolling in the pastures of her dreams. The sky was her limit.

  But life continued to be like a roller coaster, with its ups, downs, twists and turns. Ella’s ride was about to come tumbling down again.

  CHAPTER 26

  2012

  Together with all the family on vacation as they entered a new year and reflecting on the year that was coming to an end, Ella felt content that 2011 had been a good year for her family. Another family holiday for the memory bank was enjoyed at one of their favorite places in the world, Cape St Francis, and everyone was recharged and feeling refreshed to start a new year.

  Tammy was enjoying her media studies and fast becoming a social media queen. Her cellphone and social media became an extension of her life. Perhaps she felt that it was a pertinent appendage to her choice of studies, Media and Communication. She had thousands of followers and to follow her on twitter was entertaining. She would sometimes tweet up to thirty times a day. By the middle of June 2012 she had nearly thirty thousand tweets to her name. She was real, sassy and confident. Her followers were drawn to her genuineness. She had no inhibitions to speak out. In an eloquent fashion, she would lash-out, shut down haters, speak her mind, she would joke a lot and even interact with politicians and sports stars. Tammy loved life, loved tequila and loved to socialize, which was evident in all the photos she posted on Facebook. Her favorite quote became, ‘when life gives you lemons, get me the tequila and salt.’

  Troy was still trying to find his vocation in life. He started in IT but decided it was not his calling so changed over to the Exercise Teacher’s Academy to study Fitness, Coaching Science and Sport Management.

  Amy was rising to new heights with her dancing. Just before the year ended she had won provincial colors in various genres of dance and singing. Her best friend and dancing partner, Bea, also got provincial colors. They both had qualified to enter the national South Africa Performing Arts competition. The two girls had already begun planning and practicing in earnest for the competition that would take place in April. There would be solos and duets.

  The year 2012 took off at a fast pace. Ella was looking forward to having her long time friend, Zee, who had moved to Brazil with her family in the late seventies, come visit her. She would also be coming in April.

  As soon as the December holidays were over Amy and Bea began with all the preparations for the competition. They knew it was going to be a strain balancing between being swamped with schoolwork and countless hours of rehearsals and costume planning.

  Ella also needed to plan the holiday with Zee to one of Africa’s best game reserves, the Kruger National Park.

  During one of the regular telephonic calls between Tammy and Ella a week before Ella and Amy were due to be going up country for the competition, Tammy blurted out, ‘guess what mother dearest? I am going to be in Johannesburg the same time as you.’

  ‘Really, how come?’ Ella asked.

  ‘Well, firstly, there is someone I would like you to meet!’

  ‘Mmmm ….. Male I presume?’

  Tammy chuckled.

  ‘Also, I will be able to join you for the week in the Kruger as varsity only starts the week after that’.

  Then with another chuckle, ‘and don’t worry mother dearest it will be just me going to the Kruger.’

  Ella laughed. Tammy’s quirkiness would always amuse her. She was tickled
by the gleeful way her daughter would always address her as ‘mother dearest.’

  Arrangements were now all in place. Ella, Amy, Bea and her mom, Mandy, would be heading up to Rustenburg, for Amy and Bea to showcase their talent at the Championships for the Performing Arts. They would fly into Johannesburg. The next day they would drive to Rustenburg along with Linda who was going to accompany them.

  Straight after the competition along with Tammy, Ella would join Zee on a trip to the Kruger National Park.

  The overnight stay in Johannesburg allowed Ella to meet Tammy’s new beau, Curt. Ella was delighted when they told her that they would drive out for a day to Rustenburg to watch some of Amy’s performances. But even more splendid was that he made her daughter happy.

  There were approximately three thousand contestants each one hoping for a gold, which would qualify them to enter the World Championships of the Performing Arts, that was going to be held in Hollywood, USA.

  Amy and Bea scooped the top awards.

  Amy got gold for Hip Hop, Contemporary and Jazz. For singing she got gold for Rap and silver for country music.

  Bea got a gold for ethnic dance and silver for Hip Hop.

  The two got gold for best duo dance. The very top award, the Grand Champion award for the top overall best performer was awarded to Amy.

  Amy being the eternal pragmatist, that she is, was not expecting those kinds of wins. Despite their surprise and feeling totally overwhelmed the two best friends were intoxicated with excitement.

  Soon they would be jetting off to Hollywood. In only three months, on the 2nd of July the girls would be on their way to the World Championships in the USA.

  After a fun and exciting few days, Amy, Bea and her mom, Mandy, flew back to the Bay. Amy was unfortunately not able to join Ella on the holiday to the Kruger Park, as she needed to return back to school.

  Filled with more excitement was the reunion of Ella and Zee. They had remained close friends despite time and distance. They were in fact, more like sisters. The two met at the airport. There they picked up a rented car and embarked on their road trip the next day.

  You can never tire of visiting the Kruger National Park. A true African experience! It was exhilarating to be graced with the most magnificent sunrises and awe-inspiring sunsets across the African skies. In reality there are no words to describe the picture perfect baobab or acacia trees, maybe even a giraffe silhouetted against the warm bright glow of the African sun as the sun sets in the African savannahs. It epitomizes the exoticness of Africa. Then the excitement of meandering along roads in the pursuit of every animal, from cheetah, leopard, lion, crocodile, hippo, rhino to baboons and even the entertaining vervet monkeys, all in their natural habitat, is an experience to behold. Rising early and sometimes having to negotiate a gridlock of cars when an animal was sighted was fun and entertaining. A glorious week in this gem of Africa was enjoyed by the girls and it was very special having Tammy with them.

  At the end of their trip, Zee and Ella flew back to the Bay and Tammy flew back to Cape Town. She needed to get back to varsity.

  It’s the middle of May and winter has hit Cape Town with a vengeance.

  Rob would always, without fail, make sure the family had their yearly flu vaccine and despite the constant nagging to Troy and Tammy, to get theirs done in Cape Town, they never did.

  In the middle of examinations Tammy got very ill with flu. It affected her so badly that she was admitted to the intensive care unit. Her oxygen saturation was dangerously low. However, she recovered quickly as she always would. Or so she said. She was determined to not miss any of her examinations and conscientiously didn’t miss a single exam, despite the freezing cold weather and the fact that she still felt awful.

  ‘I can’t wait to come home to warmer weather,’ Tammy told Ella over the phone.

  ‘Curt may come down for a few days as well,’ she added.

  ‘Just please take care Tamz. You know with your medical history you can’t afford to get too ill. I just wish you had gotten your flu shot’ Ella whimpered.

  The day arrived for Tammy to come home. Troy decided to stay in Cape Town for the holidays. It’s the 14th of June. Ella met her good friend Anne for lunch that day before fetching Tammy from the airport. She couldn’t wait to have her daughter home.

  ‘You look so pale, Tamz. Your cough sounds terrible!’ Ella said to her.

  ‘This is nothing. You should have heard me a week ago. Relax mom. I am feeling so much better now.’

  ‘Maybe your dad must check you out!’

  ‘Mom, please. I am fine. I was feeling like death a week ago but I really am fine now!’ Tammy’s feisty spirit was a little irritated at mom’s fuss.

  The next day Tammy didn’t feel like doing much. She wanted to catch up on some sleep and just chill at home. Ella left to enjoy her regular Friday luncheon with her friends.

  When Ella got home Tammy was watching TV. She was looking a little down so Ella asked, ‘You OK?’

  ‘I’m just irritated because Curt is not communicating,’ responded Tammy.

  ‘O, the joys’, chuckled Ella trying to make light of it. She wanted to imply that she mustn’t take it personally. ‘You will soon learn that a man’s brain functions differently to ours. If a man’s focus is on something else, he will ignore you. By nagging you will just irritate him more.’

  ‘I really love him mom!’

  ‘I’m sure you do. Just take a step back and give him some space. I’m sure all will be fine.’

  Monday arrived and Tammy is still visibly upset. Curt had responded to her but she claimed that she sensed hostility in his tone.

  Tammy was a blurter. She always expressed herself and had no difficulty with a response.

  ‘Sweetie, like I said, men think differently to us. We tend to blurt out our feelings. Most men don’t do that so they just withdraw. Leave him alone. Let him be. Nagging will just push him further away.’ Ella hated seeing Tammy so sad and hurt.

  Then on Tuesday, Ella insisted that Tammy go out with her. She tempted her by suggesting going to her favorite pizza place for lunch. They spent a lovely afternoon together and before they were even aware, the day was over. Ella had wanted to go to the mall as it was her friend Anne’s birthday but they never got there. Ella called Anne to apologize about not getting to her that day but would see her the following day. She was also still concerned about Tammy’s cough, and as it was a bit chilly she wanted to get her home before it got too cold.

  Soon after supper, Rob and Amy did their own thing but as Tammy was still looking sad and forlorn Ella joined her in the family room. They opened a bottle of wine and chatted late into the night. Ella was enjoying the moment of being her daughter’s confidant and thought to herself what a lovely phase of your child’s life to converse as friends and share your deeper feelings over a bottle of wine. The chatter went on until it was way past two in the morning. They had just watched the documentary, ‘I should be dead,’ on the National Geographic channel. They were in awe and acknowledged how strong the psychological force of wanting to survive can be.

  Ella was now exhausted. She got up, kissed Tammy good night and went to bed.

  The next day was overcast, gloomy with a definite nip in the air. Ella needed to get to the mall. She went to Amy’s room and asked her if she would like to go with.

  ‘Yes, I’ll go,’ was Amy’s response and then she asked, ‘Will Tammy be coming with us?’

  ‘I haven’t asked her yet. When I checked on her earlier, she was still sleeping. I will go and ask her now.’

  Ella then went downstairs to Tammy’s room. She was still in bed.

  ‘You want to join Amy and I? We going to the mall’, Ella asked.

  ‘No, I’m tired,’ she replied.

  ‘Have you heard anything from Curt yet?’

  ‘No, but my phone has also died and
I haven’t checked’, said Tammy.

  It was a cold day and Tammy still had the awful chesty cough, and with them having gone to bed only in the early hours of the morning, she thought the best place for Tammy to be was in bed.

  ‘Stay warm and keep your chin up, sweetie. See you later.’

  It was just after twelve midday when Ella and Amy left.

  They both meandered through the mall, chatting, window-shopping and at the same time looking for a gift for Anne. They stopped for lunch and afterwards carried on casually and leisurely walking from shop to shop. A little while later they met up with a friend and stopped for a cappuccino. It was just before five when they headed back home. When they arrived, their domestic helper said to Ella as she entered through the door, ‘I’m worried about Tammy. She hasn’t eaten or drank anything today. I made her coffee and she didn’t even have that’.

  Ella immediately went to Tammy’s room calling out to her, ‘Come on Tamz, you can’t allow yourself to be so upset and miserable!’

  There was no response.

  ‘Tammy. Tammy! Wake up now!’

  There was still no response.

  Ella walks right up to Tammy, calling her even louder. She was lying peacefully on her side holding her hands together as if she were praying. Ella shook her. There was still nothing. Suddenly Ella felt like her heart was beating outside her chest. She screamed for Amy. She tried everything but could not rouse Tammy. Ella now shaking uncontrollably tried to feel for a pulse. She couldn’t find anything, but then it’s impossible to try and find her pulse, ‘how can I, with me shaking so much’, Ella thought. She put her hand on Tammy’s face and thought she must be okay, as she felt warm. In a panic she asked Amy to try and wake her up whilst she quickly phoned Rob.

  Amy was screaming. She kept screaming at her sister, ‘Wake up Tammy! Wake up!’

  Ella called Rob crying inconsolably that she was not able to wake Tammy up.