A Rancher to Remember

by Patricia Johns

  It had seemed so easy and logical then. When it started to seem like she might fall for Sawyer in spite of all the reasons not to, Olivia invited Mia along for one of their movie dates, just to ensure things stayed strictly friendly between them.

  And the rest was history.

  So why was that chemistry charging between them again? Was it just more odd circumstances pushing them together? They were both a little vulnerable right now. Why was it that that they couldn’t seem to come back into each other’s lives when they were both doing just fine? Was Sawyer her crutch in times of need? Very likely—she could admit it.

  Sawyer’s current attraction to her could be explained—he was lonely, and he couldn’t remember any other women. Give him options and maybe it would lessen. It sure worked when Mia was in the picture.

  But her feelings for him...she knew better. Or she should, at least. Why was she letting herself soften up toward him? He belonged in Beaut. And even if she wanted to come back—which she didn’t—she couldn’t afford to. The city hospital paid better, and she needed the money now more than ever.

  She needed her own emotional equilibrium more than ever, too.

  As she lay on the bed, flicking through the pictures on her phone, she looked down at those two sweet little faces. His daughters were adorable, and she’d managed to snap one picture of Sawyer looking down at them as they chattered up at him in baby talk. His expression was so endearingly baffled that she couldn’t help but laugh.

  Olivia knew all the reasons she didn’t belong here, but it was getting harder and harder to disentangle them from her real reason for being here—she was supposed to be orchestrating a reconciliation.

  She heaved a sigh. This was no random meeting between the two of them. She’d come on a mission.

  As if on cue, her phone rang, the sound loud and jarring in the silence, and she picked up hurriedly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. It was the Whites’ phone number.

  “Hello?” she said softly.

  “Olivia.” It was Wyatt this time. “How are you doing?”

  He sounded official, professional. A little bit daunting. This was his senatorial voice—the one that got results, no doubt.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “How are you?”

  “We’re good. Just checking in. We haven’t heard from you in a few days.”

  Olivia sighed. “Senator, it isn’t so simple.”

  “It never is. But we have a deal, don’t we?”

  “I need more time,” she said. “I’m doing my best.”

  “What could possibly be standing in your way?” he asked with a sigh. “You’re in Beaut, and you’ve seen Sawyer, you say. Either he’s willing to see us, or he isn’t. Which is it?”

  “I haven’t brought it up yet,” she admitted. “He’s had an accident and he’s still recovering.”

  “Is he in the hospital? Is he unable to care for the girls?” She could see where his mind was jumping with that.

  “No!” she said with a sigh. “It’s not like that—”

  “But he’s fragile enough that you don’t want to upset him, I presume?”

  She’d have to provide some sort of answer. She hated this feeling of having explain her time here. But she’d come for them, and there was no getting around it.

  “He’s physically capable of caring for his children,” she said firmly. “I can vouch for that as a nurse. But his accident affected his memory. It’s not permanent, but he needs a bit more time to remember you properly so I can bring reconciliation up. He isn’t quite there yet.”

  That should buy her a bit more time, shouldn’t it? It was the truth, after all.

  “So he doesn’t remember us...”

  “Not fully,” she hedged. “He won’t be able to make a decision about you one way or the other until he’s fully healed. And that will be soon, I’m sure. He’s been recovering very well so far.”

  “We should come down—” Wyatt said.

  “No!” she said. “Look, he’s still the same old Sawyer. He’s not about to be bullied into anything. And I won’t be part of that. You asked me to help you reconcile, and that’s what I’m committing to doing. Fairly. And honestly.”

  There was silence on the other end for a moment, and then Irene came on the line.

  “What about my granddaughters?” she asked, and Olivia heard tears in her voice.

  “They’re doing just fine,” Olivia assured her. “They’re happy and sweet and full of energy.”

  “Could you send me a picture of them?” Irene asked. “Just to tide us over. We’ll wait a bit longer, but a picture would help.”

  If it would keep the Whites at bay for a little while, would it hurt to send a picture? These were their granddaughters, after all, and heavy-handed as they were, all they wanted was to be in the girls’ lives. She paused, considering.

  “Please,” Wyatt added, and the old bluster was gone from his voice. “For Mia.”

  Olivia’s heart softened at the mention of her friend and she sighed.

  “Hold on.”

  She pulled her phone away from her face, selected a picture of the toddlers together, staring bright-eyed into the camera. Then she sent it to Irene’s number.

  “I’ve sent a picture to Irene,” she said. “That’s Bella and Lizzie.”

  “Oooooh...” Irene sighed. “They’re precious. Aren’t they sweet, Wyatt?”

  “Yeah, they’re pretty cute,” Wyatt said gruffly. “I can see Mia in those cheeks. She had the chubbiest cheeks at that age, remember?”

  “She sure did...” Irene’s voice was soft.

  “Thank you, Olivia,” Wyatt said. “Truly. From the bottom of our hearts. We look forward to hearing from you.”

  “My pleasure,” she said. “Good night, sir.”

  As she hung up the phone, she heaved a quiet sigh. Sawyer did have family out there—more than his uncle and a few cousins. He had Mia’s parents, too. And they wanted to be a part of his life. She’d gotten sidetracked with her own feelings toward the man, but she’d come to help mend a fractured family. Her motives had been pure.

  And if she could help this family, then the Whites would help hers...

  It was time to talk to Sawyer about his in-laws. It would be nice to have had a bit more time for him to recover, but now that she’d sent a picture of his daughters to their grandparents, she should tell him that Mia’s parents wanted a relationship.

  He couldn’t remember them, and in the interest of a reconciliation, that might be for the best. But she couldn’t hold this back any longer. Sawyer needed to know about them.

  Tomorrow morning, she’d make it right.

  Chapter Ten

  Sawyer put a pot of oatmeal onto a cork pad in the center of the table. Lloyd stood at the sink, scrubbing his hands as he always did when he came back from the barn. In the last few days, this scene had become a bit of a routine for them. A nice routine—comforting. Funny how fast these things could take root.

  This morning when Sawyer read his Bible, he came across another passage he’d underlined in Second Corinthians, and it had been rattling around in his head ever since.

  Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

  Sawyer hadn’t had a lot of choice in his restart, but he still found comfort in those words. The problem for him was that he couldn’t remember his old mistakes. On the surface, that was a blessing. Who didn’t want to put their mistakes so far behind them that they didn’t even remember them? But if a man couldn’t remember his mistakes, how could he learn from them and keep himself from repeating them a second time?

  The pastor had said he’d been angry. Bitter. Sawyer sighed. With the return of his memory, would he also get that baggage back, too? That had been preoccupying his thoughts.

 
“The pastor came by yesterday,” Sawyer said, and Lloyd grabbed a towel to dry his hands and turned.

  “Yeah?” He saw the trepidation in his uncle’s eyes.

  “It’s okay,” Sawyer said. “It was kind of him to drop in.”

  “Good...” Lloyd nodded quickly. “Real good. So, did he help at all?”

  “A bit,” he replied. “He actually filled me in on something. He said I was pretty angry with the church and all that.”

  “Oh, yes...”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sawyer shook his head. “You said I was just a workaholic.”

  “If you didn’t remember it, why drag it up?” Lloyd said. “Maybe you’d be able to just move on.”

  Sawyer sighed. “How much more are you hiding from me?”

  Lloyd grabbed some bowls from the cupboard and put them on the table. His movements were casual and relaxed, but his jaw had gotten tight. Then he looked up at Sawyer. “Every story has a hundred different sides.”

  “My story, you mean?” Sawyer pressed.

  “Everyone’s story,” Lloyd replied. “It all depends on how you tell it. A man’s personal history is written by whoever feels like talking about him. I’d rather you write your own.”

  “I can’t remember it,” Sawyer retorted. “How can I?”

  Lloyd nodded slowly. “Sawyer, I’ve done things I wish I could forget. I’ve held onto stupid ideas that I wish I hadn’t. There was about a decade when I was furious with women. I blamed them for not seeing what I had to offer, and I was a real jerk. I was single, bitter and lonely, and I figured women were to blame for that. It embarrasses me now. And I only tell you about it because you’ll remember it eventually anyway. But people do change. They do grow. And if I could have my outlook right now and forget a few of those embarrassing details from the past, I’d do it. So who am I to drag up your past mistakes?”

  Lloyd met Sawyer’s gaze earnestly, then he pulled out his chair with a scrape and sat down. He reached for the pot of oatmeal and dished himself up a hearty portion.

  “But would you be who you are today without having learned a few things the hard way?” Sawyer asked. “If you can’t remember how you’ve grown...a man might go backward.”

  “You haven’t,” Lloyd replied. “And I told you what you needed to know—that you used to work too hard. That’s what you did with all your frustration and hard feelings. The rest... Son, when we ask for forgiveness, God throws our sins into the darkest part of the sea. No need to go fishing for them.”

  His uncle meant well, but Sawyer needed more than blissful oblivion. He needed to know who he was—as a full person. That was going to include some uncomfortable stuff, but how could he move forward without it?

  “Speaking of making a few changes in my own life,” Lloyd said, dropping his gaze. “I have a guest coming this morning. She’s...she’s interested in the calving, and I figured I’d show her a few things firsthand.”

  “She?” Sawyer raised an eyebrow and shot his uncle a grin.

  “You saw her at the church—Evelyn. I was talking to her by the truck before we left.”

  The beautiful brunette. She was interested in calving? Sawyer squinted. “Really?”

  “What?” Lloyd chewed the side of his cheek. “She’s from the city, and she’s never seen the process before. We’ve done some talking since church.”

  “Like...on the phone?” Sawyer asked.

  “Yes.” Lloyd pressed his lips together. “She’s a nice woman. I like her. And she’s coming by this morning.”

  “Wow.” Sawyer nodded. “Yesterday you would hardly let me touch anything. I slung some bales. But you’ll take a complete newbie out there?”

  “She’s a complete newbie who will stay in the truck if I tell her to,” Lloyd snapped. “You don’t take orders quite so well.”

  A teasing smile tugging at his lips. “But I feel the slight, I gotta say.”

  He was mostly joking, because he did understand exactly why his uncle was willing to bring this woman with him out into the fields—she was stunning. And Lloyd, as he’d explained before, was ready for a woman in his life. That was something Sawyer could sympathize with.

  Olivia appeared in the doorway, a toddler on each hip, and she smiled tiredly at them.

  “Good morning,” she said. “The girls are up.”

  There was something rather endearing about seeing her like that—in jeans and a white blouse, no makeup and her hair still looking a bit mussed. Lloyd was ready for some female companionship, and Sawyer had to admit that he felt the lack of it, too, when faced with Olivia like this.

  Sawyer pushed his chair back out and stood up.

  “Thanks for getting them ready,” he said. “I didn’t hear them. You hungry?”

  “Hmm,” she replied and stifled a yawn as he took Lizzie out of her arms. He planted a kiss on top of the toddler’s curly head, then put her into one of the high chairs. Olivia put Bella into the other one, and he reached over to tweak Bella’s plump cheek.

  The next couple of minutes were spent getting oatmeal into the toddler’s bowls—although most of it would end up on themselves and the floor. And once they were all seated again, he shot Olivia a smile.

  “I have to talk to you about something,” Olivia said as Sawyer passed her a bowl filled with oatmeal.

  “Yeah?” Her expression was serious, and he sobered. “What’s going on?”

  “I haven’t wanted to bring this up until you could remember more,” she said. “But I don’t think it’s right to wait any longer.”

  She looked hesitantly toward Lloyd.

  “Do you need me to—” Lloyd started to stand.

  “No, actually, you might be able to help me with this,” Olivia replied. “It’s about Mia’s parents, Irene and Wyatt.”

  “Okay.” Sawyer waited.

  “They want to see you.”

  “Now?” he asked with a shake of his head.

  “Not exactly. It’s a little bit complicated,” she went on.

  “They thought I wasn’t good enough for her,” Sawyer said. “Lloyd told me that much.”

  “Right.” She nodded.

  “What else did they do?” he asked.

  “The Whites are a proud lot,” Lloyd said. “They fancy themselves a step above us regular folks. Wyatt’s a senator now, and Irene came from money to begin with. They lived here in Beaut while Wyatt was starting his political career so he could get support from some rich ranchers out here.”

  “But a rancher without a whole lot of cash—” Sawyer said. “Like me—”

  “You weren’t their plan for their daughter,” Olivia confirmed. “And Mia had always been a cooperative girl, doing whatever they asked of her. She was the perfect politician’s daughter—beautiful, smart and obedient.”

  “Until I came along, I take it,” he said.

  “Yes.” Olivia sighed. “Mia fell for you right away. She was smitten. And you encouraged her to be her own woman.”

  “Not a bad thing,” Sawyer said.

  “She was taking a year off before college, and they’d grudgingly gone along with that, but when you asked her to marry you, she gave up a placement at Yale.”

  “So they were angry,” Sawyer said.

  “Furious, more like,” Lloyd replied. “They told her to pack up and go to school. She’d earned that position at Yale—she was brilliant. You asked her to stay. She married you and told her parents that it was her life. There was an ugly fight, and they told her she was on her own until she decided to come to her senses and leave you.”

  Sawyer stayed silent, his heart hammering in his chest. Even hearing about it secondhand was infuriating. He stabbed his spoon into his bowl a couple of times, then pushed it away.

  “I take it they made good on that offer to leave us alone?” Sawyer said after a moment
.

  Olivia nodded. “I told you before that they didn’t know Mia was pregnant. And when she died in the delivery, they were upset and lashed out—”

  “Yeah, you told me about that part,” he said curtly. “So why do they want to see me now?”

  Silence descended around the table, and Olivia looked up at him apologetically. “They have granddaughters. It changes things. They realize that they were wrong to push Mia away...and you, of course...and they want to make things right.”

  “How?” Sawyer demanded.

  Olivia blinked. “I don’t know, exactly. But they told me they want to talk to you. Reconcile. Get to know Lizzie and Bella a little bit. If you’d let them. They’re wealthy people. I’m sure they could help out financially and—”

  “I don’t need their money,” he said, trying to cap that rising worry inside of him. “I work—and I’ll work as much as I have to. Lloyd and I have done okay so far. Haven’t we?”

  “We make ends meet,” Lloyd agreed. “And those girls are well loved.”

  “It isn’t really about money,” Olivia said. “They’re family, Sawyer.”

  So far, he hadn’t heard anything good about these people, and now Olivia wanted him to sit down and talk to them. Without his proper memory. Without knowing what he was dealing with. He felt at a complete disadvantage.

  “Tell me something,” Sawyer said. “You said before that I was a good man. Were you telling me the truth?”

  “Of course!” She leaned forward. “You always were.”

  “Was I the kind of man who would keep my children away from their grandparents for spite?” He hesitated, because he cared about this answer. It would tell him something he needed to know about himself. “You’ve said I was angry. Was I mean like that, too?”

  Olivia shook her head. “No. You aren’t a mean man. You never were. And when you were angry about stuff, you dealt with it on your own and never took it out on other people.”

  “Lloyd?” Sawyer asked.

  “I agree with Olivia,” his uncle replied.

  “So I wasn’t a petty man who would hold my children from their grandparents because of a personal grudge,” he said. “But I might have had other reasons to stand back, reasons I didn’t tell you about.”