A Rancher to Remember

by Patricia Johns

  Olivia was silent.

  “Did they try to contact me after the funeral?” he asked, turning to his uncle.

  “A couple of times,” Lloyd replied. “You didn’t want to sit down with them.”

  “I was too angry?” Sawyer asked.

  “You were mad,” Lloyd confirmed. “But it was more than that. You didn’t trust them. You felt uncomfortable. You got a bad feeling.”

  What did his gut tell him now? He wasn’t sure. He said a silent prayer for guidance, but no answer seemed to come. He looked over at his daughters, their hands in their oatmeal bowls, and he wondered what was best for them. He was at a complete disadvantage here. If he’d had a lengthy fight with these people, that wasn’t good for his girls. But he’d had a gut instinct back then that had warned him off.

  “What would you do?” he asked Lloyd.

  “I don’t know...” Lloyd shrugged helplessly.

  “And you say that they just want to make up?” Sawyer asked Olivia.

  “Yes! That’s what they’re telling me. And I’ve known them a long time. They can be frustrating, but they loved their daughter. They care about their granddaughters without even knowing them. It’s possible to make mistakes and learn from them. People do grow.”

  Lloyd had just said the same thing this morning, but this seemed a little sudden. If he’d ever heard something good about the Whites, it might be different, but so far, he hadn’t. Was he just clinging to past mistakes now, or was he being smart? He had no idea.

  Lord, forgive me if I’m wrong.

  “I don’t want to see them,” Sawyer said slowly. “Not yet. I know there’s some virtue in forgetting your past mistakes—and even the mistakes of others—but there’s some danger there, too. I’m not saying I’ll never talk to them. I’m just saying...not yet.”

  And he felt better with that answer. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t remember enough, and as these girls’ dad, it was his job to do right by them. He wasn’t taking that duty lightly.

  * * *

  He’d said no. Olivia sucked in a deep breath. It was his right, and she didn’t blame him at this point. But she had been hoping for a different answer. Maybe an agreement just to sit down together, a conversation with the people... That would have been the kind of answer that would have satisfied the Whites. But this answer wasn’t going to make them happy...

  “Okay, that’s understandable,” she said slowly. “I’ll tell them that.”

  “Good.” Sawyer’s expression was more cautious, though. Less open. And she wondered what he was thinking right now.

  Olivia had been right that he needed more time to get his memory back before he could grapple with this issue. But an “I told you so” wouldn’t be helpful right now, either. The Whites had been pushing her for answers, and now they would have one. But it wasn’t the kind of answer that would prompt the grateful intervention with a hospital board, either.

  Except, this wasn’t about money—wasn’t that what she’d just told Sawyer? This was about a family in pieces that needed to heal. But she’d done more than just talk with the Whites last night...and her stomach sank at the memory. She’d texted them a photo.

  It had been going too far. She felt that even more keenly this morning than she had last night, and she licked her lips, wishing she didn’t have to confess this part.

  “I—” She winced. “Sawyer, I did something you might not like too much...”

  “Oh?” He eyed her cautiously. “What’s that?”

  “Last night, I was talking with Mia’s parents. They called me, for the record. They wanted me to put in a good word for them with you. Anyway, I sent them a photo of the girls. I took a couple at the park in town, and they were so cute. When Irene and Wyatt asked for a picture of the girls, I sent one.”

  Sawyer was silent for a moment, and she watched his face, trying to decode his emotions. But his expression was granite.

  “I’m sorry,” she added. “I realized after I’d done it that it was overstepping and I didn’t have the right. They aren’t my kids. I know I was wrong, but I wanted to tell you.”

  “Yeah, I wish you hadn’t done that,” he said with a sigh. “But...whatever. It’s just a picture, and like you say—they are family, right?”

  “They are,” she agreed.

  “No more of that, though,” he said, catching her gaze and holding it. “Not without asking me first.”

  He was their father, and she could feel that authority in his gaze.

  “I promise,” she said with a nod.

  “Okay. If they want to know about me or the kids, let me be the one who talks to them. And I’ll do that when I’m ready.”

  “That’s fair,” she agreed.

  “You can tell them that.”

  She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting when coming out here. But now she was hoping that the Whites would still value her contribution here enough to hold up their end of the bargain. She’d been so fixated on how they could help her, that she hadn’t fully thought through what she was supposed to achieve. Was delivering a message really worth that much to them? Or were they expecting more of her?

  Olivia took a spoonful of sugar and sprinkled it over her oatmeal. The worst was out of the way, and at least she wouldn’t have a deception on her conscience. However things worked out with the Whites, she couldn’t sacrifice Sawyer in the process.

  “So, about Evelyn,” Sawyer said, turning to Lloyd. “Is this...romantic yet?”

  Olivia flicked her gaze to the older man, relieved that the topic hand changed, but also interested. Did Lloyd have a girlfriend?

  “I’m not sure,” Lloyd said, and his tone was carefully controlled.

  “Well, what did she say?” Sawyer asked.

  “She said she’d love to see my ranch and that the calving season sounding really interesting. She’d never seen a calf born before.”

  “But how did she say it?” Sawyer asked.

  “She put her hand on my arm,” Lloyd said. “And she smiled real nice. You were watching us talk. I don’t know! What did it look like?”

  Olivia couldn’t help but smile, too—was this really how men talked when it came to women? They weren’t so much different, were they?

  Her cell phone rang, and Olivia pulled her phone out of her pocket, meaning to just silence the ringer, but it was her brother’s number. Olivia stood up, picking up the call and moving across the kitchen so not to interrupt Sawyer and Lloyd’s conversation.

  “Brian?” she said.

  “Hey.” His voice was terse. “So, something’s happened.”

  “What is it?” she asked, her heartbeat speeding up. She put her hand over her other ear to hear him better.

  “Shari’s parents just found out that she’s pregnant, and it’s a mess.”

  “What’s going on?” she asked. “I mean, she’s a grown woman—”

  “Yeah, but they’re furious. They want her to move home to have the baby.”

  “And not marry you...” Olivia concluded.

  “So it would seem.” Brian sounded angry. In the background she heard a woman’s voice, but couldn’t make out the words. “Shari’s really upset. She’s close with her parents, and—”

  “What can I do to help?” Olivia asked.

  “How’d you like to be a witness at a shotgun wedding?” he asked.

  “You’re serious?” she asked quietly.

  “Well, first of all, I was hoping we could just sit down and talk it all through. I mean, if you can get that debt reduction that you were promised—”

  But it wasn’t quite so simple as that anymore. Maybe it never was.

  “I can’t guarantee that, Brian,” she said quietly. “I don’t think I can deliver what the Whites want. So we might have to give up hope of that offer. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have options, okay?
Let’s get together and talk. I might be able to see a solution where you can’t right now. What matters is that you two love each other, right?”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “Where are you?” she asked.

  “At my place. Shari’s on the phone with her dad right now—” The woman’s voice rose a little louder, and it sounded like it was an emotional conversation. “Why don’t we meet up in town. Say, at the Mug of Mocha. If nothing else, it might help to have someone to talk it out with who isn’t screaming at us.”

  “I can offer that,” she said with a low laugh. “No hollering.”

  “Shari appreciates that you were happy when you found out,” he said. “And...I appreciate that, too. We haven’t gotten a lot of congratulations yet.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “But I am happy for you. You’ve got me, at least.”

  And her little brother was calling her when he was in a bind. That meant more to her than he probably realized. She was Brian’s family, after all—the last he had left in this state, at least.

  “Can you come now?” Brian asked. “Be there in say, an hour?”

  Olivia looked up to find Sawyer and Lloyd staring at her. The toddlers were still playing with their food, but the men were watching her in open curiosity, their own conversation seemingly forgotten.

  “Let’s say yes, and if that changes, I’ll call you,” she said.

  “Fair enough,” her brother replied. “See you soon. I hope.”

  Olivia hung up the call and tucked her phone away. She smiled hesitantly. “That was Brian,” she said. “And things have gotten complicated for him.”

  “How so?” Sawyer asked.

  “His girlfriend’s family have just found out that she’s pregnant.” Olivia licked her lips. “And they’re against the idea of those two getting married.”

  “Sounds familiar,” Sawyer said. “Minus the pregnancy.” He frowned, looking over at Lloyd. “Right?”

  “Right.” Lloyd nodded.

  “I said I’d go down and talk with Brian and his girlfriend. They just need a sounding board, I think—someone who’s actually happy about their baby on the way. Did you want to come with me?” she asked Sawyer. “Maybe another male perspective would help out. I’m not sure what to expect, though.”

  Sawyer looked toward his uncle.

  “I can take a couple of hours with the girls,” Lloyd offered. “Evelyn might even like it.”

  Sawyer was silent for a beat, then nodded.

  “Yeah, sure. I can come along,” Sawyer said.

  “Thank you.” Olivia shot him a relieved smile. “Because I have no easy answers for these two. So say a prayer for us, Lloyd. We’re going to need it.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Looking around town, Sawyer had started to feel a vague sense of nostalgia for a history he couldn’t quite recall. It was a step forward. Mug of Mocha was a small coffee shop in downtown Beaut, with a few tables on a patio outside where a couple of older guys sat, paper coffee cups in front of them, and dogs lying at their feet. Sawyer held the door for Olivia, and she went inside first. He had no idea what to expect here today. He’d come to be a support for Olivia, not because he was some wellspring of wisdom when it came to young love. He couldn’t remember his own.

  Once inside, Olivia headed for a table at the back where a young cowboy Sawyer recognized from Sunday at church sat with his hat on the table, his hair mussed. The young woman next to him looked wan and a bit scared.

  “Hi,” Olivia said, sliding onto the bench opposite them. “This is Sawyer. Sawyer, this is Shari.”

  Sawyer and Shari exchanged smiles. There was a brief round of greetings, and then Olivia reached out and put a hand over Shari’s.

  “How are you, though, Shari?” Olivia asked quietly. “You look like it’s been tough.”

  “It has been.” Shari’s eyes welled, and she dabbed at them with a crumpled tissue.

  “How far along are you now?” Olivia asked.

  “Three months,” Shari said. She dropped her gaze.

  “How did your family find out?” Olivia asked.

  “I...told them.” Shari swallowed. “I don’t know... It’s a big secret to keep, and I told my mom. I’m having a baby...it’s huge. I wanted her support, I guess. I knew she’d be upset, but I didn’t expect that much disappointment. Or anger.”

  Sawyer glanced toward Brian. The young man sat silent.

  “How long have you been together now?” Sawyer asked him.

  “Six months,” Brian said.

  “Well, seven if you count when you first held my hand—” Shari added.

  “Yeah, okay, seven months, I guess.”

  The young couple exchanged a bashful smile. Seven months. It wasn’t really long, and here they were expecting a child together. He could remember the birth of his own girls now, and it was not only a traumatic event, but it was the kind of thing that made a man. Granted, his introduction to fatherhood was more intense because he’d lost his wife at the same time, but being a father—even without his memory—had grounded him and given him a sense of responsibility. Nothing was about him anymore—it was now about his little girls.

  Olivia scooted along the bench closer to Shari, and Sawyer leaned his elbows on the table, watching the women talk in lowered voices.

  “Hey, man,” Brian said with a nod. “How’re you feeling?”

  “Not bad,” Sawyer said with a wan smile. “Remembering more every day, so...”

  “You don’t remember me yet, huh?” Brian asked with a small smile.

  “It’ll come back,” Sawyer said with a shrug. He hated this—admitting how limited he was right now. But a few more memories were surfacing—conversations while riding herd, the way the land rolled out in front of him when he was on horseback surrounded by slowly moving cattle, and the smell of the countryside in high summer.

  He’d also started to remember Mia last night. Not huge things, but the way she’d laugh or this really flat look in her eyes when she was good and mad. Apparently, he’d managed to make her mad often enough for that look to be a memory that surfaced before her laughter had. He was still glad to remember it. His life was coming back to him in teaspoon measurements—enough that he could recognize just how inexperienced these two were.

  “So, what are you going to do?” Sawyer asked.

  Brian cracked his knuckles and frowned, but didn’t say anything.

  “Because the way I see it, you love this woman. And you’re going to be a dad. So are you going to marry her or not?”

  “It’s complicated,” Brian said. “It’s not as simple as just getting married anymore.”

  “My parents are really angry,” Shari interjected. “They don’t want us getting married at all. Or at least, not yet. They say that we should date another year or two, and then make that kind of decision.”

  “A little late if there’s a baby already on the way,” Sawyer said.

  “What do you want?” Olivia asked, fixing her gaze on the young woman.

  “I want my parents to stop hating me,” she said, dabbing at her eyes again with that tissue.

  “I’m sure they don’t hate you,” Olivia said, and she passed Shari a napkin. “But are you willing to do what they want to calm them down? To move home, let them help you get ready for the baby, and just date Brian?”

  Shari looked over at Brian, then shook her head. “No. I want to get married. I love him.”

  In love against the wishes of her family. Apparently, he and Mia had been in the same position, and Mia had given up a Yale education to be with him. Was it smart? He had to admit that it wasn’t, but apparently, it had been worth it to his wife. Maybe she hadn’t wanted that Yale education. Maybe she’d wanted a ranch life like he did. He had to wonder if she’d ever questioned her choices when he’d been working every spare minute. />
  “You could get married, you know,” Olivia said. “Brian’s twenty-three. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-one,” said.

  “If you want to get married, you can,” Olivia said. “Legally speaking. No one can stop you. You’re both adults.”

  “We’ve been talking about a little church wedding,” Shari said, and a smile came her lips for the first time. “Nothing huge—just friends and family... A summer wedding with some outdoor catering, and maybe an Empire waist gown with a full skirt. It would hide things so that we could get some really nice pictures. I know a photographer who would give us a pretty good deal.”

  “And your parents would pay for this?” Olivia asked.

  Shari’s smile slipped. “If I gave them a bit of time to get used to it. Maybe you could talk to them for us.”

  “I don’t think the wedding details are what’s bothering them,” Olivia said quietly.

  “I know.” Shari sighed. “I just always dreamed of a pretty outdoor wedding. And I’ve met the guy I love and want to spend my life with. What’s so wrong with having a beautiful wedding to celebrate that?”

  “They take time, for one,” Olivia said. “And we don’t have much of that right now.”

  They’d also take money, and Shari’s parents didn’t sound like they were anywhere close to throwing much of that around in celebration of their daughter’s choices. Sawyer noticed how Brian’s fingers moved toward Shari’s on the tabletop. They leaned toward each other ever so subtly. The timing might be garbage, but these two loved each other.

  “How will you support her?” Sawyer asked Brian.

  “I’m a mechanic. I’ll keep working.”

  “What’s your health insurance like?” Sawyer pressed. Because that mattered—especially with a pregnant wife.

  “It’s okay. Not as good as her dad’s, and she can stay on his insurance until she’s twenty-six.” Brian looked up, slightly embarrassed. “But they’re thinking longer term—and I guess they don’t have a lot of faith in me.”