A Rancher to Remember

by Patricia Johns

  It looked like Brian was up against the same problem Sawyer had had—stuck between her parents’ expectations and what he could actually provide himself.

  “We might get in a little bit of debt when the baby comes, and if we add a wedding on top of that... But it won’t be the end of the world,” Shari said with a shake of her head. “Brian’s working, and I’ve got a part-time job at the bank, so with the both of us saving and with my dad’s health insurance, what’s a bit of debt? We’d have the rest of our lives to pay it off.” The table fell silent, and Shari eyed them uncertainly. “We’ll be fine.”

  “Does she know?” Olivia asked her brother quietly.

  Sawyer frowned slightly. What was the big secret here?

  Brian sighed and scraped his fingers through his already mussed hair, then he cast her an apologetic look. “Shari, my sister and I owe two hundred thousand dollars—give or take—in medical fees for our mother’s cancer treatment.”

  Sawyer blinked in surprise—this was the first time he was hearing about this, too. Olivia was in serious debt? He hadn’t known...was that something he’d remember later on, or had she never told him? Olivia glanced over at Sawyer and her cheeks pinked slightly—embarrassment? Yeah, he understood that feeling of not wanting your vulnerabilities made public.

  “You owe...” Shari seemed to be doing a bit of mental math, because her face paled even more. “How are you going to pay that off, Brian? That’s like a mortgage!”

  “We have a repayment plan,” he said woodenly.

  “How long will it take?” she asked.

  “With the interest working against us, and both my sister and I paying into it, about twenty years,” he said woodenly.

  “And we’re having a baby!” Her voice was starting to rise. “How are we supposed to do this? I wanted to take some time off work...but even if I went back straight after the baby’s born, we’d still have to pay for day care! And diapers. And formula. And...and...” Tears welled in her eyes. “And the wedding... Why didn’t you tell me this?”

  “Because we’d only started dating!” Brian retorted. “You don’t lay out all your financial stuff right away.”

  “But we’re talking about getting married here!” she exclaimed.

  Brian fell silent, and he pulled his hand away from Shari’s, leaning back in his seat.

  “Does the wedding matter so very much?” Olivia asked softly. “I mean a big wedding. You could do something small and very cheap and be just as married.”

  “It isn’t just the wedding now, is it? I don’t want to be a single mother, but I don’t want to be poor, either!” Shari shook her head. “How will we raise our child? How will be buy a house? I’m going to need a car, too, you know.”

  From what Sawyer could tell, Shari had a few expectations, too. This wasn’t just about her parents wanting more for her.

  “Hey...” Sawyer said, keeping his voice low. “So there have been a few surprises, but that’s how life goes. You two are about to be parents, and that’s terrifying. I get it. I’m a dad, too, and it scares me every day. But it’s also the best thing you’ll ever do. My wife died, and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t part of my plan for raising my kids, either. But you do what you have to do, and it’s worth it. A wedding is just one day...”

  “It’s more than a day, it’s a woman’s rite of passage!” Shari retorted. She was getting angry now, from what Sawyer could tell.

  “I got kicked in the head by a cow,” Sawyer said bluntly, and Shari blinked at him. “My memory is still coming back, but I remembered my daughters’ birth. I still don’t remember my wedding. A wedding is nice. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s just one day.”

  Shari sucked in a shaky breath.

  “Vows last,” he added. “A marriage matters. If you love him, don’t let dreams of a dress and catering hold you back, because that’s the kind of regret that will last longer that wedding photos.”

  Olivia shot Sawyer a grateful look, and she reached over and squeezed his hand under the table. It was a quick movement, and she pulled away just as fast, but the warmth of her fingers over his had felt nice. She wanted to fix this—he could tell. And for her sake, he sure hoped these two would patch it up, grow up, and make a life together. But some things couldn’t be forced.

  “Now, Shari, what do you want?” Sawyer softened his tone.

  Shari turned her tear-filled gaze toward Brian, and she shrugged weakly. “I need to talk to my parents. I can’t just break their hearts and push them away.”

  Brian nodded. “Yeah, you should do that.”

  “I’m going to call my dad,” Shari said, sliding out of the booth and standing up. “He’ll give me a ride, and I’ll call you soon, okay? I just need...a bit of time.”

  “What do you mean, he’ll give you a ride?” Brian asked, standing up, too.

  “I want to go home for a bit. Talk to them.” Her lips trembled. “My dad will come pick me up and I can hash this out with them.”

  “I should come—” Brian took a step forward.

  “No.” Shari shook her head. “You shouldn’t. I need to talk to them alone.”

  Shari leaned into his arms, and they clung to each other for a moment, murmured a few things. Then she pulled away, leaving Brian standing there looking empty and frustrated. Shari pulled out her phone and headed for the door, glancing back once with tears in her eyes.

  Was this the end for them? Sawyer couldn’t tell, but there was an ache in his chest, and this all felt rather familiar somehow.

  “For what it’s worth, man,” Sawyer said, “you can’t just cut her family out. I tried that, apparently, and while I don’t remember much of it, they don’t just go away. She’s got a family, and you’re going to have to deal with them.”

  “Yeah? Well, I’m not enough for them,” Brian said curtly. “And they figure I can’t provide for her.”

  “Prove them wrong,” Sawyer retorted. “Find a way. You’ve got a child to take care of now.”

  “I don’t think I can.”

  Young. That was all Sawyer could think, looking at Brian. He didn’t blame him for not being ready for this. The order was all wrong. Marriage was supposed to come first, then kids. But regardless of the order of events, Brian wasn’t going to be able to just brush her family aside. Shari obviously loved them deeply, and they were protective of their daughter, even if that was manifesting itself a little intensely right now.

  All normal, as far as Sawyer could see. He had two daughters he was protective of, too.

  “I’m going to head out,” Brian said hollowly. “Thanks for trying, Olivia.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “She had to know about the debt, though.”

  “I know,” he said. “I should have told her sooner. Never seemed like the right time to bring it up, though.”

  “You’ve got a baby coming. There are a lot of things you’ll have to talk through that might have waited a bit longer otherwise,” Olivia said. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

  “I hope so. Thanks anyway.”

  Brian headed toward the door, his shoulders slumped. Shari was standing where they could see her out the window, and Brian joined her. They both crossed their arms, and didn’t touch each other. Olivia rubbed her hands over her face, then looked over at Sawyer.

  “Life is never simple, is it?” she asked softly.

  Her eyes looked tired and sad, but his gaze kept tugging down to her pink lips. No, it wasn’t. Because right now, all he wanted was to kiss her and for just a moment take all that pressure off of her shoulders.

  But that wouldn’t be right, either. He had to keep his focus here—he had a lot to make up to his daughters, and getting entangled in a romance wasn’t going to let him put his focus where it belonged. Besides, she’d made it clear that she wasn’t going to be sticking around, and he respected her reasons. He
had to stop this. They’d agreed that friendship was where they needed to stop—and they’d been right about that.

  “No, it doesn’t seem to be.” He reached forward and touched her cheek with the back of his finger—the one brief contact he’d allow himself. “It’ll be okay.”

  “You sure?” she asked.

  “Eventually,” he said, dropping his hand. “One way or another...”

  And he meant that about more than just her brother’s situation. He meant about his own, too. Now that he knew where he’d gone wrong in the past, he could fix it. And he wouldn’t mess it up this time around.

  * * *

  Olivia’s mind was spinning as they got back into the truck. Her brother had asked her for help, and she wasn’t sure she’d provided any. If anything, she and Sawyer had been a sounding board while Brian and Shari had gotten increasingly overwhelmed. Just once for Brian, after all he’d been through, could love be enough?

  Sawyer hopped into the driver’s seat and Olivia put her seat belt on. The day was sunny and bright, and despite her brother’s troubles, something in the air had the feeling of hope. She’d been praying in her heart for God to work through this situation, and she still believed He would. Unfortunately, Brian and Shari would have to rely on God, if they were willing to try, because as much as Olivia wanted to help, she’d done all she could.

  Sawyer pulled out his cell phone and typed in a text.

  “What are you doing?” Olivia asked.

  “Checking up on the girls,” he said. “Seeing if Lloyd’s okay with them.”

  Being a dad, in other words. She put on her seat belt and leaned back. This wasn’t the old Sawyer anymore—he was different, deeper, older. Even without his memory, she could see how he’d changed.

  “Lloyd says everything’s fine,” Sawyer said, dropping his phone into his lap and reaching for his seat belt. “He says to take our time. You want to go back, or should we just drive for a bit?”

  Olivia smiled gratefully. “Let’s just drive.”

  Sawyer put the truck into Reverse. “That sounds good to me, too.”

  “So, what’s happening with this Evelyn woman?” Olivia asked.

  Sawyer backed out of the spot and headed for the road. “I don’t know. He likes her—that’s clear. But...I’m not sure. She’s gorgeous and young, and he’s—” Sawyer winced, not finishing the statement.

  “He’s...a more unique guy,” she said.

  “Yeah.” He cast her a look. She knew what he meant. Lloyd was awkward, in both appearance and personality, but endearingly so. “I don’t know. I’m kind of afraid that he’s going to get his heart broken here.”

  “You can’t exactly stop that from happening,” she replied. “No more than I can fix Brian’s situation.”

  “I understand,” he said.

  “Do you have any idea what she wants from him?” Olivia asked.

  “To see cattle?” Sawyer shook his head. “I don’t know! She could have her pick of guys, but she lands on my bachelor uncle. I actually doubt that she’s out to bleed him dry or anything. I kind of worry she’s just being friendly, and he’s getting his hopes up for something more.”

  “He’s a grown man, though,” she said. “He can take care of himself.”

  “I know. Not like I can do anything about it, anyway.”

  They drove to an intersection, and Sawyer signaled a left-hand turn.

  “Do you know where you’re going?” she asked.

  “Nope. I figure with you here, I can’t get too lost.”

  Olivia laughed at that. He was probably right. She knew this area just as well as anyone else, having grown up here. Sawyer took another left and headed for a straight stretch of road.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ruin it by saying it out loud,” Sawyer said quietly. “But this is familiar.”

  “You’re remembering more, aren’t you?” she asked.

  “Yeah. This and that. It doesn’t always connect, but I’m getting more back.”

  He eased onto the gravel road and stepped on the gas. It felt good to be driving with him—not quite like old times, either. They’d both changed over the years, and this new connection they had was different than in the past. Maybe maturity had made whatever kept tugging them back together sweeter.

  “Did I know about the hospital debt?” Sawyer asked.

  “No,” she said quietly.

  “There was a lot I didn’t know about you, wasn’t there?” He cast her a searching look, and she saw sadness in his gaze.

  “I wasn’t one to air my problems,” she said, then sighed. “Besides, when my mother died and the hospital sent us the bills, you had Mia. You weren’t mine to lean on at that point.”

  Or to confide in. Those were lines she couldn’t cross with a married man, or a nearly married man, no matter how close they used to be.

  “Yeah... I get it.” He looked over at her again. “So, are you okay now?”

  “Me?” she said, surprised. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “Because I didn’t know you guys were under that kind of stress.”

  “Yes. But it’s sweet of you to ask.”

  Sawyer slowed at a side road, then turned once more. “Where does this lead?”

  “The lake,” she said.

  He nodded. “That sounds good. Did we ever come here together?”

  “No,” she said. “But this is where my brother and I scattered my mom’s ashes.”

  “Yeah?” he asked. “Should we turn back?”

  “No, it’ll be nice to come out here again. It’s cheerier this time of year. Happier.”

  Sawyer took the turn, and the narrow road bumped them along, some twigs scraping the passenger side windows. This drive didn’t lead to the main beach where all the amenities were, but it had the kind of beach access that young people discovered and then kept secret. The road erupted into a clearing just before the rocky shore of the lake. There were some tire tracks from other vehicles that had parked out here.

  Sawyer stopped the truck, and for a moment, they just sat there in the quiet.

  “I used it all up,” Olivia said after a moment. “Brian was right about that. I took all my mother’s savings and everything she could borrow and got my degree. I wasn’t even thinking about Brian. I figured she’d save more, and I’d pitch in, and he’d be fine. But look at him now...”

  “That isn’t your fault,” Sawyer said quietly.

  “It might not have been intentional, but it’s very much my fault,” she replied. “Shari’s used to better things than our family can offer her. And Brian loves her...but all he can show is a pile of debt he has no hope of crawling out from under. And that isn’t either of our faults, but I know how much he wants to build his own business. I got my dreams—my education, my career... Sure, he can work for someone else, but he wants his own shop. And as things stand, he can’t do that.”

  Sawyer was silent, but he reached over and took her hand in his. His palm was warm, and his fingers closed around hers.

  “We shouldn’t...” she murmured.

  “I don’t care,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. “Sometimes you need someone to hold your hand. You can’t do it all alone, Olivia.”

  “I think I’ve done all I can, really,” she admitted. “Besides working some overtime and sending Brian a bit of cash to help them get ready for the baby.”

  “You mean here in Beaut,” he said, turned toward her. “You’ve done all you can here.”

  “Yes.” She swallowed against a lump in her throat. “Your memory is coming back nicely, and my brother will sort out his own relationship. Besides, I have to go back to work.”

  She’d come out here to reconcile Sawyer to the Whites, but she couldn’t see a way to do that anymore, either. He’d talk to them, or he wouldn’t. She couldn’t stick
herself in the middle. This morning, she’d said her piece on that subject, and he’d said his. And whatever she’d hoped when she arrived, her contribution wasn’t going to warrant the Whites intervening with the hospital board. She’d been naive to even go along with that plan.

  “I think I must have missed you,” Sawyer said quietly. “The last few years.”

  “Why do you think that?” she asked with a soft laugh. “You don’t remember.”

  “Because I’ve known you again for a week, and the thought of you leaving makes my chest heavy,” he said, and he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers.

  The gesture was so gentle and sweet that it brought tears to her eyes. “I missed you so much—”

  But she shouldn’t even be saying that. She clamped her mouth shut.

  “If you stuck around, we could do more of this,” he said with a small smile. “We could hang out. We could take the girls to the park. I could take you riding. It would be nice.”

  “It would.” She dropped her gaze. Very nice—while she was secluded away from the rest of the town, at least. But life wasn’t lived closeted away from the world. People came with families and communities. It couldn’t be sidestepped, and Beaut couldn’t be hers.

  “But you can’t stay,” he said.

  “No. My life is in Billings now, away from bad memories and nasty rumors. I have a good job, I’m ever so slowly paying off that debt—” She raised her gaze to meet his. “Besides, you keep forgetting that I drive you crazy.”

  “Yeah, I keep forgetting that.” His dark gaze met hers and he smiled, showing he wasn’t completely serious. Maybe he needed to be driven nuts every once in a while. What did she know?

  Sawyer reached over and moved a curl away from her eyes. The movement was tender, familiar, and afterward, he didn’t move his hand away from her face. His gaze met hers, and he leaned forward. She should pull back—she knew it—but she couldn’t bring herself to. Instead, she tipped her face into his palm.

  His lips touched hers delicately at first, and when she leaned into him, his kiss became more confident. He released her hand and pushed his fingers into her hair and behind her neck. Everything else seemed to vanish around her, all but his mouth on hers and the feeling of those strong fingers tugging her closer. His lips were warm and soft, and when he pulled back, she found herself breathless. His face was still close to hers, and she could feel the tickle of his breath against her lips.