A Rancher to Remember

by Patricia Johns

  She closed her eyes, wishing they could do that again. She just wanted to lay her head against his shoulder, feel the beating of his heart... He was like coming home—if home could exist in a bubble away from everyone else.

  “Um... I didn’t mean to do that...” he breathed.

  “I know,” she whispered. “And we can’t do that anymore.”

  He licked his lips, then released her, the space between them suddenly feeling like a gulf.

  “Have we done that before?” he asked.

  “No...” She leaned her head back and shut her eyes. And there was good reason for that. Kisses like this one had a way of prying their way into hearts, making people hope for impossible things.

  “So that was a first?” Sawyer asked.

  She turned her head to look at him and found his gentle gaze enveloping her.

  “That was,” she said. “And a last.”

  “Just checking.” He let out a long breath. “I know we’d said we wouldn’t go there, but if we have to say goodbye, I’d rather do it without regrets, and I’d regret not kissing you.”

  “We’ve been through this before,” she said. “Because if we start something—”

  “I know.”

  He belonged with his family—he always had. Longing clamped down on Olivia’s throat. They were playing with fire, and they were no longer young enough to think they could come out unsinged.

  “I’m sorry...” Sawyer started the truck. “We should probably get back.”

  He put both hands on the steering wheel, and he swallowed hard.

  “We should go,” she agreed.

  Real life couldn’t be avoided forever. He had daughters waiting for him, and she had to get back to her life in Billings before she made it even more complicated to leave.

  Whatever attraction it was that kept tugging them together wasn’t enough to undo the crushing opinion of the town at large. The rumors, the nastiness, the overt bullying—it had chipped away at her sense of self-worth, and she couldn’t allow herself to be pushed back down underneath it again. She couldn’t go back to bracing herself every time she went to the store, or forcing a polite smile when she wanted to retaliate against a subtle dig. She couldn’t be that woman again—the one who felt like she had to defend herself at every turn.

  Not even for Sawyer.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sawyer headed back down the road the way they’d come, his heart still beating just a bit faster than normal. Because he couldn’t remember any other kisses. For him, right now, this was the first kiss in his memory, and whatever instincts he’d had had taken over...

  But he shouldn’t have done it. He’d been trying to get his footing, but one thing he knew for certain was that he had to make smart choices about what was best, not just for him but for his children. He might regret not kissing Olivia just once, but he’d regret messing up with his daughters a whole lot more. His focus needed to be on them, not on romance. They were still little—he could fix this if he focused and worked hard enough. This was a fresh start for him, and maybe he didn’t need Olivia’s reassurance that he was a good man. He needed to work his tail off and prove it.

  “Turn left up here,” Olivia said softly, and he slowed for the turn. These roads were starting to feel more familiar now, a combination of driving them recently and his returning memories.

  Sawyer glanced over at Olivia. Her cheeks were still pink, and he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. He wanted to reach over and hold her hand, but he wouldn’t. He was the one taking this too far—it wasn’t her fault.

  The next couple of turns, Sawyer remembered without prompting. Things were getting easier, and he could tell that he’d be back to some semblance of normal pretty soon. His roots were sinking deep again with every memory that came back and every new one that he made with his daughters and his uncle on this land. Except Olivia had been a part of that, too, and when she left, she’d leave an aching hole behind.

  The West Ranch was coming up, and he signaled the turn. He was home. He could feel it in his gut—that sensation of everything settling down into a comfortable rhythm like a heartbeat. He turned into the drive and followed it around. As he approached the house, he saw two extra vehicles parked next to his uncle’s truck, a shiny black sedan and a large wine-colored SUV that looked expensive to both drive and buy. One would be Evelyn’s...

  “I wonder who’s here,” Sawyer said.

  He glanced over at Olivia, and saw that the blood had drained from her face. He looked back toward the vehicles, anxiety ramping up inside of him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I know that SUV.” She let out a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry, Sawyer. I had no idea they’d just show up like this—”

  “Who?” But as his stomach sank, he already knew the answer.

  Olivia met his gaze with a pleading one of her own. “Mia’s parents.”

  Sawyer’s brain spun, and he looked at that SUV once more as he parked. Mia’s parents, who’d been so furious that their daughter had lowered herself to his level that they’d cut her off. His girls’ grandparents, who now said they wanted to make up, get to know him, get access to his daughters.

  He parked the truck behind his uncle’s and hopped out. He had a bad feeling about this.

  Lord, guide me, he prayed silently.

  Olivia slammed her door shut and followed him a couple of steps behind as he headed for the front door. He wasn’t really keen on meeting these people, but he also didn’t want to leave his daughters around them, either, without him there. He pushed open the door and when he stepped inside, the rumble of conversation stopped and all eyes turned to him.

  An older man sat with Bella on his knee. He was slim and wore dress pants and a vest with a starched white shirt. His hair was silver, and his eyes were steel blue. He must be Wyatt White. Next to him was an older woman with hair dyed brown. She wore some expensive-looking wrap around her shoulders that perfectly matched her lipstick. She must be Irene. She looked like an older version of Mia, he realized in a flash. Lloyd stood by the sink, a crying Lizzie in his arms, Evelyn standing next to him looking uncomfortable.

  “Hi, there,” Sawyer said, breaking the silence. He stepped up to the older man and scooped his daughter out of his arms. That felt better. Lizzie saw him and stopped crying immediately.

  “Daddy!” she said plaintively.

  “Hi, Lizzie,” he said, and he gave her a smile, just for her. Then he turned to look at the interlopers sitting at the table. They shifted in their chairs and smiled at him—a prim kind of smile that hid any real emotion.

  “Sawyer,” Wyatt said, rising to his feet. “It’s been a long time.”

  Wyatt put his hand out to shake, and Sawyer did the polite thing and shook his hand. He didn’t like this, though. It felt off. He glanced back at Olivia behind him, and her face stayed pale.

  “Hello, Olivia, dear,” Irene said with a smile.

  “Hi,” Olivia said weakly. “What are you doing here?”

  “We were tired of waiting,” Wyatt said with a shrug. “We decided to come on down to Beaut ourselves. Sawyer, we heard about your injury. How are you doing now?”

  “I’m fine,” he said. “Thanks. What can I do for you?”

  “We were hoping to talk,” Wyatt said, taking his seat again. “We let things get out of hand before, and we want to fix it. I think we’ve left this gap between us for far too long.”

  Lloyd cleared his throat, and he and Evelyn exchanged a look.

  “We’re going to let you all talk,” Lloyd said as he eased Lizzie into Olivia’s arms. “Nice to see you again, Senator, Mrs. White.”

  “You, too, Lloyd,” Irene said with a smile. “Thank you for the visit. And nice to meet you, Evelyn.”

  Lloyd took Evelyn’s hand and tugged her after him out into the living
room. Apparently, Lloyd figured Sawyer would need some privacy for this, and maybe he did. But having Olivia here with him mattered, too. She knew these people, and he didn’t even remember them. But there was something about having them in his kitchen that felt like a threat.

  “I realize that we’ve put you on guard by showing up like this,” Wyatt said. “In Olivia’s defense, she told us that you weren’t ready to see us yet, but it’s been almost two years since the funeral, and this is ridiculous.”

  “What is ridiculous, exactly?” Sawyer asked. “From what I understand, you wanted nothing to do with us.”

  “We were angry,” Irene cut in. “We’ve had some time to think things through. We shouldn’t have reacted the way we did. And we’re sorry.”

  Sawyer sighed. Maybe it was time to talk a few things out. He looked over at Olivia, and she gazed back at him, but her expression was guarded. Whose side was she on?

  “Tell us about the girls,” Irene added when he hadn’t answered her. “What sorts of things do they like? What kind of toys—”

  “I don’t need gifts,” Sawyer interrupted. “I need to understand what happened.”

  Sawyer pulled out a chair for Olivia, and one for himself, then sat down. Olivia didn’t look at the Whites. Instead she stroked a gentle hand over Lizzie’s head as the toddler leaned in to be cuddled. Her eyes were drooping.

  “The girls are tired,” Sawyer said. “It’s past their nap time.”

  “I’ll go get them settled,” Olivia offered. “If you want. You can keep talking.”

  Sawyer nodded. It would help. Olivia took Bella in her other arm and headed out the same direction that Lloyd and Evelyn had gone. Sawyer noticed that Irene’s gaze followed the girls as they left the room until Wyatt nudged her and she focused back on Sawyer.

  “What do you want to know?” Wyatt asked.

  “Why did you hate me so much?” he suggested. That was a good start.

  “It wasn’t you,” Wyatt replied. “It was...we wanted more for our daughter, and it seemed to us that her desire to marry you was rooted in a rebellious phase, not in something worthy of the vows of marriage.”

  That was insulting. What was he, a drummer with a garage band?

  “We were adults,” Sawyer countered.

  “Yes, yes, and we’re admitting that we were wrong,” Irene said. “Mia loved you. And we were too stubborn to accept it. But there are children now, and we feel it’s important to do what’s best for them.”

  “And what do you think is best for them?” he asked.

  “Us,” Wyatt said simply, and Sawyer’s heart thudded to a stop.

  “A relationship with us,” Irene amended. “We have a lot to offer our granddaughters. We can get them the best of everything—music lessons, tutors, educational toys... This is what grandparents are for.”

  “Didn’t Olivia tell you this?” Wyatt asked with a frown.

  “She brought it up,” Sawyer confirmed. “She said you were family and you wanted to make up.”

  “Well, this is us attempting to reconcile,” Wyatt said. “We can do what you can’t, Sawyer. We can set them up with the top pediatricians Billings has to offer—”

  “Billings?” Sawyer said. “That’s a long way off.”

  “It’s where you find the best of everything in this state,” Wyatt said. “It’s where the specialist doctors are, the most elite preschool programs—”

  “I live in Beaut,” Sawyer said.

  “Yes, but...” Wyatt sighed. “This isn’t the time.”

  “For what?” Sawyer snapped. “What were you hoping for?”

  “You are a very busy man,” Irene said quietly. “You work so hard, and it can’t be easy to be raising two children alone. We’re only offering our help. We could be there when you can’t. We could hire the most qualified nannies, enroll them in an excellent preschool that sets children up for the brightest futures.”

  “Mia didn’t have that,” Sawyer said, and realized as the words came out, that it was true. Mia had been in Beaut...she’d gone to school with Olivia.

  “She did at the start. We only moved here when she was in junior high. We thought it was best to mingle...” Irene winced. “For Wyatt’s career at the time. But Wyatt’s a senator now, and if Mia were alive—”

  “No!” Sawyer said, his voice thundering louder than he’d intended. “Don’t you do that. You can’t tell me what Mia would have wanted!”

  He took a deep breath, steadying himself. He wasn’t here to bellow at them, but he wouldn’t have them manipulating him, either.

  “Then think about yourself,” Wyatt cut in. “You’re single now. Young. Working hard. And you’re trying to build a life with two toddlers who need more than you’ll ever be able to provide. You don’t have to do this alone! We’re family.”

  “And what exactly are you suggesting?” Sawyer asked. Because he could feel it there between the lines—something they didn’t quite want to articulate.

  Irene licked her lips. “That we provide for the girls, and you would visit just as often as you wanted. Our door would always be open to you. We promise you that. This was why Olivia came out here. She was supposed to talk to you for us, explain our position.”

  At that moment, Olivia appeared in the doorway, and her gaze met his. Had she brought these people out to see him? Did she really think he’d hand his kids over to these people and let them just take over?

  “That’s why—” Sawyer started, but the words stuck in his throat. He stared at Olivia. “Is she telling the truth?”

  “You didn’t say you wanted to take the girls away from him!” Olivia said, her angry gaze sweeping over Irene. “You said you wanted to reconcile, be a part of their lives...”

  “That would be the start of it,” Wyatt said. “But the more we thought about it, the more we realized that we have to do better by our granddaughters than that.”

  “No,” Sawyer said, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “That’s my answer. No! I’m not interested in giving my children up!”

  “Do you remember how hard it’s been?” Irene asked softly. “Sawyer—do you honestly remember?”

  He didn’t, but something else had come together in his head—a memory forced into the forefront by his pounding adrenaline. Standing at Mia’s funeral with his heart breaking—and Wyatt giving him the same offer...

  “You suggested this before,” Sawyer said slowly. “At Mia’s funeral. You said you should raise the girls and let me remarry and move on.”

  The Whites were silent, watching him nervously. Irene started to fiddle with a bracelet on her wrist and Wyatt’s lips started to twitch.

  “That’s why we haven’t spoken in two years,” Sawyer went on as the memory finally settled into place in his head. “I’m not some selfish jerk who couldn’t forgive a slight from parents who wanted a better match for their daughter. I’m a dad who won’t give up his little girls! What makes you think I’d be interested now?” He shook his head slowly. “The answer is still no. No! I will not give up my children! No, I will not send them to live with you so I can pretend I have no other obligations!” His voice was rising and he couldn’t help it this time. “I might not remember everything, but I remember my girls! They’re mine, and they’re my reason for everything I do... It might not be easy, but since when are the good things easy? I’m their father, and I’ll provide everything they need—that’s a guarantee!” He marched over to the front door and hauled it open. “Now, get out!”

  * * *

  Olivia stared at the Whites in shock. They wanted her to help them convince an injured man to give up his children? She could hardly believe it. Lloyd and Evelyn had come to the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, and for a heart-stopping moment, everything was silence.

  “Olivia?” Irene said tightly.

  “What?” she demanded
. “You told me that you wanted to reconcile! This—whatever this is—is not reconciliation!”

  “Things have gotten out of hand here,” Wyatt said firmly.

  “I’ll say!” Olivia shot back. “You asked me to help you to be a family again! How could you think this is what a family looks like? Those girls need their father!”

  “We said he could visit!” Irene said testily. “And I’ll have you know, young lady, you’d better start holding up your end of the bargain if you expect us to speak on your behalf—”

  “I don’t expect you to,” Olivia shot back. “Keep your influence. I was naive to think you actually wanted to help me to begin with.”

  Sawyer looked at her questioningly, but she couldn’t explain now. The Whites picked up their things and moved toward the door.

  “Sawyer, man to man, here—” Wyatt began.

  “Man to man, you’d better leave before I get really angry,” Sawyer snapped back, and Wyatt took his wife’s hand and they swept out the door. Sawyer swung it shut with a bang that made Olivia’s heart jump in her chest.

  “What’s happening?” Lloyd asked.

  Sawyer rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m not really sure. But I have a feeling that Mia’s parents had bigger plans for my daughters than anyone else realized.”

  Olivia felt tears rise in her eyes. “I had no idea, Sawyer. I promise you that. I would never have spoken for them if I’d realized what they wanted!”

  “Yeah...” He heaved a sigh, then he looked toward the hallway. “Did we wake the girls up?”

  Evelyn slipped away to check—she and Lloyd had been caring for the girls all morning, after all—and Lloyd went to the window.

  “They’ve just pulled out,” Lloyd said, his voice low. “Do you think that’s the last of them?”