Beyond What is Given

by Rebecca Yarros

  “Then what?” I cupped her face in my hands to steady her and so I could feel her racing pulse beneath my fingers.

  “She got here like an hour ago and just started inspecting things, and going through your room, and kind of put me through the Spanish Inquisition. I really don’t think my sex life should be up for discussion.” She talked so quickly that I had to concentrate to make out the words. “And not that I mind sharing my clothes, but—”

  “Who did?”

  “Your sister!” she whispered loudly.

  “My…” Holy shit. “Which one?”

  “How many do you have?” Sam’s eyebrows shot toward the ceiling.

  “Four. Now which one, Sam?” Not that they weren’t all pains in my ass, but if it was—

  “Gray! I love what you’ve done with your room! I dropped my bag there, I hope you don’t mind, and oh, my heavens, aren’t you just the tastiest thing I’ve ever seen?”

  Oh, hell no.

  I turned slowly, keeping Sam protected behind my back as my sister raked her eyes up and down Jagger.

  Josh walked through the front door. “God, I want off this detail. Why the hell can’t I start my classes the same time you guys do?” He rounded the corner to the kitchen, holding his uniform top in his hand, and my sister’s eyes bugged out. “Well, hello there…” He looked at the rest of us for an introduction.

  “Oh my God, are all the army guys this hot? You could seriously sell tickets to this show.”

  “Tell me about it,” Sam muttered, stepping around me.

  “Grayson?” Jagger asked, thoroughly enjoying himself.

  My jaw ticked a few times as I fought for control. My life was about to crash on all fronts. There was no controlling this one. Parker, Constance, hell, even Joey, I could have handled. But not her. “Josh, Jagger. Meet Mia, my baby sister. Hands off, or I kill you while you sleep.”

  Jagger started laughing hysterically. “Well, so much for no distractions.”

  Chapter Ten

  Grayson

  “What are you doing here, Mia?” I cornered her in the kitchen while Jagger fired up the grill.

  “I wanted to see you,” she pouted.

  “I just saw you less than a week ago. Now cut the crap.”

  She bounced back on her heels to sneak a look out the window. “Why didn’t you say that your roommates are gorgeous?”

  “Because I’m a guy, Mia. Now stay on topic. Why—how are you here?” She might only have been five foot two, but she could destroy the small amount of peace I’d managed to attain here.

  “I took a flight? I told Mom I wanted to see you, and she thought it was good that someone was finally checking up on you.” She picked up Sam’s coffee mug, which still wore her shade of sparkly lip gloss. “Plus, I wanted to meet her.”

  “Meet who? Sam?” I took the mug out of her hand and put it back on the counter. It was empty, which told me Sam would be back soon.

  “The girl who made you smile.” She grinned like she’d caught on to some elusive secret.

  “Mia… This is my life. Not some kind of matchmaking game. I wasn’t lying at home; Sam is just a roommate.”

  “I know you better than that.”

  “You can’t say anything about home, Mia. Or Grace, because—”

  “Relax, Gray. I’m not here to dish out your secrets. Why you keep it secret is beyond me, but if you need to compartmentalize, I get it.”

  Sam waltzed into the room and came to an abrupt halt, her gaze flickering between me and Mia. “Oh, I can come back.”

  I lifted up the empty coffee cup. “No, you can’t. You’ll drop dead on the floor or something if you don’t get a fix. You’re not bothering us, I promise.”

  Sam bit her lower lip, and damn, I wanted to suck it out, then caress the little indentation from her teeth with my tongue. Shit. “If you’re sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.” About both.

  She gave Mia, who was unabashedly taking in every detail of Sam, a shy smile and loaded a K-cup. While it was brewing, she passed me on the way to the fridge. “Ugh. I forgot I was out of creamer.”

  “Look behind the milk,” I suggested.

  Her squeal was well worth the extra effort it had taken. “How the hell?” She turned with wide eyes, presenting her bottle of peppermint-mocha creamer. “Did you do this?”

  Her eyes were lit up like a kid at Christmas, and her smile could have sailed a thousand ships, easy. “It was nothing.” Just a matter of checking a suitcase full of gel packs and praying TSA didn’t think I was out of my mind.

  She jumped at me, and I swung my arm around her back as she noisily kissed my cheek. “Thank you! I will ration it, I swear.”

  I scoffed. “That bottle will last you about three days at the rate you inhale your coffee.”

  She landed back on her feet and grinned. “Well, it will be a glorious three days.”

  A corner of my mouth twitched upward, disobeying my order to keep a straight face. “A glorious eighteen days.”

  Her eyebrows shot up as the Kuerig hissed at completion. “Huh?”

  “Check the freezer.” I gripped the counter behind me, ignoring Mia’s eyes boring holes into me. “Behind the second bottle of tequila.”

  Sam’s mouth dropped for a millisecond before she opened the freezer door to see the five other bottles I’d stored there yesterday. “No way!” She jumped, bouncing on her tiptoes. She shut the freezer door and spun, this time directing her smile at Mia. “Your brother”—she pointed at me, like there was any other guy who could have been mistaken for Mia’s brother—“is a god among men.”

  “So I’ve heard,” Mia answered, her smile nearly consuming her little face.

  Sam passed me on the way back to her coffee and squeezed my bicep. “Thank you,” she whispered, sneaking a look up at me before she turned her attention to her coffee.

  “Sam, will you bring me a clean plate?” Jagger called out as he slid the glass door open a fraction.

  “Right on it!” she answered, and took her coffee and a plate back outside.

  Mia started laughing, snorting in between gasps.

  I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms. “What is so funny?”

  “Just a roommate!” She leaned over, holding her stomach. “Oh, you have it so bad, big brother.”

  “Just a roommate,” I reiterated, but she headed into the backyard, her laughter louder than before.

  Whatever. She could think what she wanted. Yes, I was insanely attracted to Sam, who the hell wouldn’t be? But having it bad? Not in the least.

  I opened the freezer and pulled out one of the bottles of creamer, taking note of the manufacturer. Maybe if I ordered a case, they could just have it delivered.

  Wait. Was I seriously contemplating this?

  “Damn,” I muttered, shoving the bottle back in the freezer.

  Bad, indeed.

  “Please? Come on, Gray,” Mia cajoled from the Fort Rucker pool. Thank God she had on a one-piece. I would have hated to kill any of the new privates for hitting on my sister. It would have interfered with my class ranking, no doubt. “I’ve been here for three days, and all you do is study! What the heck could be so difficult?”

  I flipped another 5&9 card. I was halfway through the stack, and then I’d take another test. As of this morning, I was only three questions short of completing the timed test, and was killing it with one-hundred percent accuracy. Two days to go.

  Two more days of Mia investigating every part of my life before we both flew home to Nags Head.

  “You’re not supposed to be here, Mia,” I reminded her and flipped another card.

  “You’re not supposed to be here, Mia,” she mocked me in the way little sisters do and climbed out of the pool. “At least Sam is on her way.”

  That got my eyes off the cards. “You invited Sam?”

  “She said she’d head over after she finished her tutoring session at the summer school.” Mia wrapped herself in a towel and
wrung the water out of her hair.

  “She’s getting tutored? That doesn’t sound right. Besides, her classes don’t start until next week.” Monday, in fact. Nine a.m. chemistry, if I remembered her schedule correctly. She’d taped it on the fridge with an adorable, goofy grin.

  “No, she’s doing the tutoring. She’s got mad math skills.”

  “And a big heart.”

  She cracked a grin at me, squinting in the harsh afternoon light. “I thought you were studying?”

  I dropped my gaze to the flashcards. Tutoring. Sam may have made some huge mistakes, but the way she’d stopped the spiral and started digging herself out meant a hell of a lot more to me than what got her there. Whatever it was.

  That was the measure of a person to me. Not the shit they pulled, but the way they recovered from it, like when Jagger had taken the blame for us with that damn polar bear statue. The hardest thing I’d ever done was to march into that office, lay my shit bare, and risk everything I’d fought so hard for, but he wasn’t going to fall on my sword.

  “What is that?” Mia pointed to my flashcards. Shit.

  I moved to throw them into my bag, but she caught them with those freakish, catlike reflexes of hers. She opened to a random card, and I cringed. “Fuel pressure limitations on…”

  Her inhaled breath may as well have been the shot heard ’round the world.

  “Are you…” Her eyes flew to mine, and I lowered my sunglasses, my chest instantly tight.

  “Am I?” I challenged her.

  “Dad is going to kill you.” She narrowed her eyes in my direction.

  “I quit seeking Dad’s approval years ago.” I held out my hand and waited, though every nerve ending itched to rip the study guide from her fingers. Tension coiled beneath my skin. “You’re eighteen now, Mia. Legally an adult and headed to UNC in a couple months. Are you really going to tell me that your life is going to be about what Mom and Dad want?”

  She sighed, then gave me the cards back. “You can’t lie to them.”

  I didn’t blink. “I never have.”

  “This is a lie of omission.” She folded her arms under her chest.

  “This has always been the plan.” I stood, tired of feeling like Mia had the moral and physical higher ground.

  “The plan…changed.” Her voice dropped.

  “No, everyone wanted the plan to change.” Because they don’t have something to prove like I do. She shook her head at me, but I cut her off before she got a word out. “Do you really want to go there? Constance, Joey, hell, even Parker have all given me their godlike opinion. Are you ready to throw your hat in that ring?” She flinched. Fuck. I’d never taken that tone with Mia. How the hell was I going to make her understand? “This is all I have.” Even my throat was tight, and it took effort to force out every word. “This is it. I’m here working my butt off, and when I’m not, I’m back in Nags Head with Grace. Forgive me, if I want just one thing for myself.”

  Her face fell. “Gray…”

  “I’m not asking for your approval, or your understanding. I’ll tell them after graduation. He’ll need me to prove myself.”

  She got that stubborn look on her face, the one she’d had since she was two, scrunching her nose. “Fine.”

  “That’s why you’re my favorite sister,” I said and turned around to grab my flash cards.

  “Yeah, well that’s not hard to do looking at the rest of them.”

  A skinny jackass whistled as he passed by us, lowering his sunglasses and scoping Mia out like a piece of steak, or worse—a piece of ass.

  I pivoted toward the pool, tripping him with my foot in the process. He screamed like a girl and fell into the pool. I stepped in front of Mia, taking the splash. He sputtered to the surface, and I crouched down to pool level as he swam to the side.

  “Dude!” the kid called out, wiping the water out of his eyes.

  “That’s my baby sister. Would you like another look?” I dropped my voice and narrowed my eyes.

  “N-n-no,” he sputtered.

  “Gray, come on, you’re scaring the guy. He probably thinks you’re about to go all Hulk on him.” Mia tapped my shoulder, which was still tense.

  I grunted but offered my hand to the guy and pulled him out of the pool easily. His street clothes dripped enough water to fill the baby pool.

  “Hey, Sam!” Mia waved her arm above her head.

  My eyes latched onto Sam before the rest of me even registered that Mia had spoken.

  From beneath the wide brim of a straw hat and huge sunglasses, Sam gave off a megawatt grin that could have tanned my soul. Her florescent orange wrap made her skin look like dessert. The tension in my chest instantly dissipated, like she’d pulled the thread on an old sweater, slowly unraveling me, dissolving not only the strain but my defenses as well.

  “Hey, guys!” She came over to us and claimed the chair closest to Mia.

  Well, that sucked. Wait. It was for the best. Damn, I couldn’t even decide where I wanted her to sit. I waved. Lamest wave in the history of man.

  “How was your tutoring session?” Mia asked.

  “Long,” Sam answered, dropping her hat to her chair with her glasses, and then stretching her arms toward the sun. At six p.m. the temp should have started dropping from its ninety-nine-degree high, but damn if mine wasn’t spiking.

  Get a fucking grip on yourself.

  “Want to swim?” Mia asked, dropping her towel.

  “Sure!” Sam nodded enthusiastically. She untied the belt around her waist and let her wrap fall to the chair.

  Holy. Fucking. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuuuck.

  Her suit was made up of a halter top and boy shorts. It left the toned muscles of her stomach bare to the sunlight and hugged her ass. Her breasts rose high and her nipples stood out against the fabric.

  My mouth watered at the thought of peeling the tiny scrap of fabric away and taking a taste.

  “What’s with the disapproving look? Are you going to tell me to put on more clothes again, Grayson? Because last time I checked, we are at a pool, and I technically have on more clothes than you do.” She motioned to my bare chest.

  I looked disapproving? Hell, I’d take it. It was a lot better than horny like the kid I’d tripped into the pool…who was still standing just to the side of me. I glared at him, but his eyes were focused on someone else. Samantha.

  “It’s hot as hell out here,” Mia commented.

  “Language,” I snapped out of habit.

  She raised her eyebrows at me. “I don’t see Mom. Hell. Hell. Hell.”

  “You’re going to be the death of me, Mia.” I sat back on my chair and reached for my cards to keep from reaching for Sam, but the chair put me at eye line with her ass, so I stood back up. “Go swim.”

  “I’d love to get in,” Sam said and touched her toe to the water.

  “I’d love to get in, too,” the skinny kid remarked with a whistle, his eyes wide as he blatantly appreciated Sam a little too much.

  My arm was out before I could stop it, my open palm connecting with his chest and sending him back into the pool.

  “Grayson, what the hell?” Sam asked, racing to the edge of the pool.

  He spit water out as he surfaced. “What, is she your sister, too?”

  When he’d checked out Mia, it had annoyed me, but putting his sights on Sam sent cold rage through my veins, locking my muscles. “Fucking far from it.”

  “Gray! Language!” Mia mocked me.

  I didn’t bother to turn around, just kept my glare locked on skinny-no-mannered-asshole until he got the point.

  Stop cat-calling my girls.

  Shit. I blinked. When had I started to think of Sam as one of my girls? The moment you caught her off the counter.

  “Oh my God, do you need a hand?” Sam leaned over the water with her hand extended.

  The guy looked at her like she’d grown three heads, then swam to the opposite side of the pool before getting out. Good plan.

  “C
ave man, much?” Sam glared up at me.

  “He was…” I lost all words.

  “Checking me out? Hitting on me? Maybe thinking of asking me out?” She crossed her arms, which only raised her breasts. Get your mind out of her fucking pants. “Grayson, I’m single. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I would like to be asked out?”

  “You want someone like that? Someone who just wants you because of your body?” Your very tight, very fuckable body.

  She rubbed her fingers into her temples. “No, but that’s not your call to make, hothead. It’s mine.”

  I caught Mia laughing like a loon over Sam’s shoulder and glared harder. Sam’s expression changed, her features schooled with a sugar-sweet smile. “In fact, I think you should cool off!”

  She looped her leg around mine, hitting her heel in the pit behind my knee, and my leg buckled. “Sam!” I pitched toward the pool and knew impact was coming, but I wasn’t going down solo. I pulled her to me as we tumbled into the pool.

  My feet hit the bottom and I pushed off, bringing us to the air. Sam coughed and looped her arms around my neck. We were deep enough that I could touch, but she couldn’t. “I can’t believe you did that,” I said, my mouth slightly agape.

  She grinned, biting her lower lip. “I can’t believe you took me with you.”

  “Good reflexes.” God, she felt good against me, her curves slippery, but I carefully kept my hands on her waist. My gaze dropped to her lips, and I swallowed. Hard.

  Her fingers sent little electric shocks as she absentmindedly stroked the back of my neck. I looked back to her eyes and caught my breath. Her grin faded, and her eyes widened, waiting for something I wasn’t sure I was even able to give.

  Fuck, she looked kissable.

  The dynamic between us shifted like the world had tilted on its axis. We were strapped into a roller coaster, awaiting the inevitable, but not knowing when the first drop was coming.

  Sam had gone from a “never” to a “not yet” in the five weeks I’d been living with her. What would she be in another month or two?

  Everything, a little voice whispered in my head.

  We stayed there, locked onto each other, both tasting the shift between us until water hit me in the back of the head.