Trust

by Casey Diam

  “Me, too.”

  The strength and warmth from his arm weighing down on my shoulders calmed me for a moment, but the train stopped, and he took my hand, escorting me out and up the stairs into the chilled night. His direction had us heading toward the marina, and I stiffened. This was stupid. I didn’t know him.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “Trust me?”

  “No,” I said, stopping so abruptly, it forced him to break with me.

  “You don’t like surprises?”

  “No.”

  Crestfallen, dark eyes glowed from the streetlight, and my heart sank. Why couldn’t I just be normal? Looking down, not wanting him to sense my vulnerability, I chewed on my lip as my eyes watered.

  He held up the brown paper bag. “I bought us dinner, nothing fancy though; it’s just falafels. However, I’m taking you to New York City right now, so...”

  “What?” My insides started to thaw before I remembered my situation.

  “I chartered a helicopter, and we’re going to—”

  “No.” I shook my head, turning around as the sound of helicopter propellers registered from a few hundred yards away.

  My gun was in my backpack. I couldn’t go anywhere in that thing. If the crew searched me, I could go to jail. And I’d been so careless and distracted; that was why the men had found me. I needed to go figure out my next move. What if Caleb is working with them, and this is a part of their plan? That man on the train could have been following me to make sure I got on some helicopter, so they can take me to God knows where and—

  “Shit, are you scared of heights?” Caleb asked.

  “No.” Well, not that kind of height. “I just... I need to go.”

  “Why?”

  “I-I...” I swallowed. “Caleb, I can’t do this. I’m moving, and it isn’t going to work.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this before? Why just now?”

  “I’m sorry. If you had to pay a lot of money for this, I’ll pay you back. And I did tell you before that I don’t date. This is why I can’t—”

  His hand cupped the nape of my neck the same time his lips crushed to mine. My typical reaction would have been to knee him in the balls, but his touch scorched my skin, weakened my legs, and melted my defenses as heat amplified between our bodies. My hands fisted into his sweatshirt, remaining even as the kiss came to an end.

  I inhaled and exhaled a breath before I spoke. “I can’t go with you because I’m carrying.”

  He angled his head to look down at me. “Since you’re still a virgin, I’m assuming it isn’t a child.”

  Shaking my head from side to side, I stared at his chest.

  “Can I ask why?”

  “Why I’m not carrying a child?” I asked in hopes of avoiding his question.

  “No, smart-ass. Carrying a weapon to hang out with me. Do you think I’ll hurt you?”

  My chest rose, wanting to put up its usual front, its usual fight, but then it fell. I was tired of running, of lying. And Caleb had already seen things in me that I hid from everyone else, so placing my forehead against his chest, I whispered, “I’m being followed. I think. I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t trust anyone.”

  His thumb that was drawing circles at the back of my neck paused, and I sighed as my voice grew smaller because my heart got heavier, not lighter.

  “I can’t trust you.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Caleb

  This would be the perfect time to come clean. To tell Paige I also had a part in her being followed, but not for the same reasons as my father.

  Shit.

  She would never believe I wasn’t working for him.

  As I clutched the brown paper bag in one hand, my other hand relaxed at the nape of her neck and I stepped closer. “Why would someone want to follow you?”

  “TTM.”

  The helicopter was standing by two blocks away, and I sighed. I should have figured she would take the non-talking route.

  “Is there anything I can do to change your mind about going with me? I wanted to make tonight special for you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” She relaxed in my arms as her defenses weakened.

  “It’s fine. Shit happens. But you know... the helicopter crew won’t search you. They have no reason to. And, since you don’t trust me, you can call your friends and tell them where you are and who you’re with. We don’t have to do anything sexual. I promise. I just want to hang out with you,” I coaxed, hoping one of the things I’d mentioned would change her mind.

  I wanted to spend the night with her, and the way she clung to me told me she wanted to do the same. It was crazy how much I craved this girl’s company.

  “Come with me,” I beseeched, guiding my fingers through her hair.

  She inhaled and let out a long breath. “Fine.”

  Not what I’d expected. “Okay?” I asked, taking a step back and studying her eyes.

  She nodded, and I grinned, taking her hand and pulling her behind me in a slow jog until the loud sounds and strong winds of the propellers greeted us on the helipad. It was dark in the surrounding areas, but red lights circled the landing zone while a few light beams gave us a visual of the two men waiting to guide us to our seats. She sat right across from me, and after the crew made sure she was strapped in, I removed one of the falafels and stretched across to hand it to her. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her again.

  “Bon appétit,” I said, though I couldn’t even hear myself speak over the helicopter’s heavy noise.

  Since our headsets remained inoperable, I resorted to texting her. It felt shitty, knowing she didn’t trust me when I hadn’t given her a reason not to. So, I wanted to tell her again she was safe with me.

  Me: I would never hurt you.

  I watched her read it.

  No reaction.

  Pulling a bottle of water from my backpack, I handed it to her just as the headsets came alive with the operator announcing the takeoff.

  The helicopter eased off the ground, and the lights inside dimmed into blackness. Neither one of us spoke through the headset, but it didn’t bother me. It was nice. The only thing that mattered was her being here with me.

  When we were close to landing, the light from her phone lit up her face, and I squeezed my own phone, waiting.

  Paige: The falafel was delicious. And this is amazing. Thank you.

  We landed on a helipad atop a high-rise building in Manhattan. My father had purchased a new condo in the building a little over a month ago, and the contractor had just finished the renovation. Since I was the only one who handled Alex Connor’s rental spaces—both here and in Boston, I was the one who got the email about the project’s completion today. So, it hadn’t taken me long to come up with an idea for my night with Paige.

  As we rode down in the elevator, Paige said, “I thought you were a hotel manager.”

  “I am, but I also manage rental units, and this building has one. Two actually, but the one we are staying in tonight just finished being renovated.” The elevator stopped, and I escorted her to the one-bedroom place overlooking the city. I glanced at my watch. “We only have fifteen minutes to get to the theater, but yeah, this is our room.”

  “The theater?”

  “Yeah. I know you don’t like surprises, but they recently started a midnight showing of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and my plan was to take you there, so how about it?”

  A smile stretched across her face, and her gorgeous blue eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope.”

  “Oh my gosh.” Her hands flew up to the sides of her face. “You realize you’re spoiling me for any guy or date we have in the future?”

  That’s because you should only date me.

  A more realistic retort fell from my lips. “So, you admit we’re dating, but you were so quick to run off moments ago.”

  She frowned and turned away from me. I walked up behind her and rubbed my hands down her arms in a soothing gest
ure.

  “Hey, it’s okay. Let’s both forget about back home for a few hours.”

  She nodded, stepping out of my hold. “I should probably leave this here.” She positioned her arms behind her, and the straps of her backpack slid down.

  The part of my lip I nibbled on slipped from my teeth. “Yeah, you probably should.”

  ❧

  Rushing past the doorman and then out of the building, we waved down a taxi and made it to the small classic theater a minute before midnight. I showed the tickets on my phone to the attendant and hurried to our seats in the back.

  For the entire movie, my arm remained around Paige’s shoulders, hugging her to me as I drew lazy circles on her arm, neck, thigh, or anywhere else my other hand found, though, I kept it PG.

  As the closing credits ran at the end of the movie, our lips met in a sweet, fleeting kiss even though I would have sworn those weren’t possible with her. They were, only it’d left me wanting, and all I could think about was when my lips could be on hers again.

  The rain was pouring when we walked out, and I grinned down at her. “It would have been the perfect night.”

  As we stood beneath the shelter along with all the other guests still trickling out of the theater, Paige looked out at the rain. “I like it. Apart from the chaos and the likelihood of not getting a cab anytime soon, it’s relaxing.”

  With the humidity in the air from when we’d landed mixed in with the cool night rain, it was much colder than when we’d left. She only had on a thin white T-shirt, so as she crossed her arms over her chest, I wrapped my arms around her, and she sighed.

  “Mmm. You’re so warm.”

  “Yeah?” I uttered, my thoughts already drifting to being in bed with her like this. I loved holding her, protecting her. It was all I wanted to do.

  When we finally got a cab, it was close to three in the morning, and we were still stuck in traffic. Raindrops blemished the windows of the cab and reflected the red brake lights. The calm had vanished with the multitude of horns honking around us. Paige was leaning against my chest in the backseat as I stroked her hair.

  Noticing the heavy rain had changed to a drizzle, I asked, “Do you want to walk it from here? We’re only two blocks away.”

  “But you’re so comfy. I could fall asleep like this.”

  “The sooner we get home, the sooner we can get to bed and fall asleep like this,” I persuaded her.

  “Ugh, you’re right.”

  When we were a block from the condo, the rain poured down again, causing us to break into a full-on sprint, both of us soaked by the time we reached the entrance to the building.

  “So, that was a bad idea.” I laughed, water dripping from my hair and running down my face as we waited for the elevator doors to open.

  Paige smiled, her T-shirt sticking to her body. “Yeah. No, it was perfect. I definitely won’t forget this night. It was nice to get away. I almost forgot this wasn’t my normal day-to-day life.”

  “Come on now. Don’t talk like it’s over. We still have a few hours left,” I reminded, but my own thoughts were already thinking about what would happen when we got back to Boston.

  If she would try to push me away again.

  She gave a low chuckle. “Yeah, we do.”

  The ambiguity of our future after tonight strengthened my need to have her, get closer to her, be inside her. And I shouldn’t want that, not if she planned to disappear from my life in a few hours.

  Leaning my back against the elevator wall, I watched her do the same on the opposite side of me. My eyes lingered on her chest. With her creamy skin visible through the wet T-shirt clinging to her, I could see the plump tops of her breasts just above her bra. Paige’s body was picture-perfect, the most toned woman I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing naked. And all I could think about was getting her naked and making her come. I wanted the soft lips of her pussy on my tongue, the sweet musk of her arousal around me, and the snug muscles of her cunt around my fingers. Fuck, I wanted...

  The air between us thickened, and I wondered if she was considering what had happened between us as well. My dick twitched at the thought that she was. She gripped the bar behind her, and the color of her eyes looked like a treacherous sea among her slickened, wet hair.

  We held each other’s gaze as the elevator ascended. The tension between us was palpable; though, behind her eyes, she was still at sea. Drifting. It was weird, seeing that in her, because it was how I’d felt my entire life. Living a life I hadn’t chosen, hadn’t wanted. I wanted to help her, but how could I when I was just as lost and just as, if not even more, fucked up than she was?

  The doors opened; she hesitated, and so did I.

  At this moment, we’d both dropped our guards. I knew that because the only time I was allowed to see her was when I allowed her to see me.

  “After you.” I motioned.

  Once inside the condo, we kicked off our shoes at the door, and I told her, “Towels are in the bathroom.”

  Stripping off my black T-shirt, I tossed it in the dryer by the kitchen and then padded barefoot across the cold wooden floor toward the bedroom to retrieve dry clothes from my bag. But I stopped in my tracks before I could get there. Because inside the bathroom was Paige, bent with her ass facing the shower as she removed her pants and underwear from around her ankles.

  She stood with them in her hand and paused as she saw me, but my eyes were too busy drinking in her full breasts and pink nipples that were begging to be sucked. My mouth watered as my eyes wandered lower to the bareness between her legs. I swallowed because... fuck me. This girl was every man’s fantasy, a few feet from me and naked. But my thoughts returned to what I’d seen of her in the elevator. Adrift and more fragile than she’d led me to believe.

  I couldn’t take advantage of her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Paige

  Caleb’s body was pure muscle and so gorgeously defined that it belonged on the pages of every fitness magazine out there. I’d only glimpsed him without his shirt on this morning while he walked to the bathroom. But, now, I had the full view of his pecs, the happy trail at the center of the V-cut disappearing into his jeans, and a six-pack—or was that eight? As I started to count, he cleared his throat.

  “I didn’t mean to stare, but you know there’s a door, right?”

  “Yeah, but what’s the point? You’ve already seen me naked.”

  He inhaled. “Fuck.” Then he pursed his lips. “I could take those.”

  I gave him a questioning look, and he walked forward. My throat dried, and a shiver went through my body.

  “For the dryer,” he said, desire swimming in his eyes as he removed the clothes from my hands.

  Oh.

  My whole body, which had been freezing moments before, warmed with his nearness. And, as I was left alone again, I quickly dried myself and wrapped a towel around my body. Then I used a hand towel to dry my hair.

  Seconds later, Caleb appeared, and I attempted to exit the small space in the bathroom.

  “Sorry, you can go ahead. You’re still in your wet clothes.”

  “It’s fine. Take your time. I can change in the bedroom. I just need to grab a towel.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  I turned the blow dryer on my hair for a few minutes and thought about walking in on him before he was dressed. I wanted to see all of him. The truth was, I’d hoped he would see me naked because I still felt like he should be my first. Even if I didn’t trust him. Even if he hadn’t batted an eyelash when I told him I was carrying a weapon. Like it was freaking normal.

  Yeah, I definitely shouldn’t trust him.

  With that thought, I hooked the dryer back onto the wall and turned to leave, only to run into Caleb again as he was re-entering the bathroom.

  “Oh, sorry,” I muttered, and an inaudible sigh followed.

  He was clothed again. No more sexy muscles for me to salivate over.

  “No problem.” He pointed at his damp hair. �
��Can you do me, too?”

  “Um, sure.”

  He lowered his head for me as I dried his hair, fluffing it with my hand as I went. I loved doing this, touching his hair, touching him. When I was done, my cheeks burned with what I wanted to say to him, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. He walked with me to the room and grabbed a pillow from the bed.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “I’m sleeping on the couch,” he replied.

  A pain sliced down my throat and to the left side of my chest. “What? Why?”

  Biting his lip, he let out a sigh. “I can’t sleep with you.”

  “What? Why?” Apparently, those were the only words in my vocabulary now.

  “It isn’t that I don’t want to, but, Paige, you should lose your virginity to someone you care about, love even. Not to some guy you don’t even trust. I can’t do that to you. It isn’t right.”

  Why do his words hurt?

  I blinked. “I... what...” I let out a breath and swallowed as I bent and opened my backpack on the floor, ignoring the small black pistol at the bottom. “Fine.”

  Why would he have gone through all of this, only to not sleep with me?

  Is he playing some sick mind game?

  “I won’t,” I said as I saw him walking out in my peripheral vision.

  “You won’t what?”

  “Lose it to anyone I care about. Love. Trust. Or whatever other bullshit there is. Falling in love, getting married, having kids—it will never happen for me. So, you see, Caleb, it’s either you or... hell, who knows? Maybe I’ll die a virgin. Might as well.”

  “Paige,” he chided.

  “It’s fine. Just go.” I brushed at the stupid tears burning a path down my cheek. I hadn’t resorted to them in a while. Yanking the towel from my body, I tossed it onto the bed, so I could shrug into my tank top and tights.

  “You can’t say stuff like that and expect me—”

  “What time do we leave?”

  Caleb threw the pillow back onto the bed and grumbled, “Paige.”

  “I don’t have anything else to say to you. So, what, Caleb?” I dropped down on the bed and got comfortable on my back. “What do you want from me? We’ve established that it isn’t my virginity, so what?”