Trust

by Casey Diam

  Shaking his head, he muttered, “Fucking hell,” before sauntering out of the bedroom.

  Every year, when the anniversary got close, I would stop paying attention to the dates because I didn’t want to remember. If I allowed myself to remember, I’d automatically start to feel. August was still three months away, yet what I’d just felt... rejection, it was a pain that was closest to the loss I’d experienced.

  I let out a steady breath, thankful my tears had dried as fast as they’d come.

  Nothing else. No one else could force me to feel.

  If that were the case, why can Caleb? Why do I feel with him? I am attracted to him, but I’ve also been attracted to the other guys in my past, so what makes him so different?

  I’d almost lost it again around him, and the scariest part was the calmness I felt right now. Like I was ready for anything to happen even if he were to admit he worked for the men. This feeling confirmed one thing: I was done running and thinking. I needed to stop thinking.

  Retrieving my phone from my backpack, I clicked on my digital textbook and began reading a chapter for my class tomorrow. In less than two minutes, I became restless. Being in a strange place with the man who had brought me here in the other room, doing God knows what, didn’t sit well with me. I positioned my phone on the nightstand and reposed my head on the pillow as I watched a Kim Possible episode online.

  When the episode ended, sleep was still far away. I looked at the pillow Caleb had tossed back onto the bed and got up, taking the pillow with me. The lights were off in the living room, and the only proof I had that he was on the couch was the light from his phone. My throat ached, wanting to say something to him. I was already missing his attention, missing his touch. I stood still for a moment, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness before I brought the pillow to him. He accepted it without a word, and I headed back to the room, pausing inside the doorframe.

  I told him, “I know I have, like, a million personalities, but I won’t apologize for it. I don’t date, and I warned you that you’d regret it.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Caleb

  Shaking my head, I watched from the couch as she disappeared into the room. She was wrong. I didn’t regret it. But, if she couldn’t talk to me and I couldn’t talk to her, then she was also right—we couldn’t date. As much as I wanted to fuck her when she got frustrated and stripped in front of me for the second time tonight, I didn’t have the right. Well, I had it but not in the way I wanted.

  Things had changed from last night to tonight.

  Last night, she had been relaxed, happy even. Tonight, I’d seen how confused she was when she rambled on about being followed and needing to move away. Doubting everything she’d been so clear about the night before.

  She was also right about the million-personalities thing because I’d felt close to her last night. Like she might have even trusted me. But today, tonight, she hadn’t suppressed the friendly reminder of how much that wasn’t true every chance she got

  She wasn’t mine to have, but we could fuck.

  Words like that from a virgin scared the shit out of me because how could she be so heartless, even to herself, her own body? Not caring who fucked her like she’d given up on finding the right guy, even though it seemed as if she hadn’t been looking in the first place. Why else would she have spoken about love, trust, and marriage in that way?

  I pressed a hand to my temple and rubbed before going back to the video feed on my phone.

  The air-conditioning vent in the ceiling gave a wide view, so I could see everything in her studio apartment, except inside the bathroom and closet. That wasn’t necessary since I would know if someone had entered her place and if they’d left before she got there or they were waiting around for her to appear.

  I hadn’t been on the frontlines with my father’s men when they did their kidnappings or whatever the fuck they did, so I had no idea what their process was. I just knew it involved sedatives.

  While the video fast-forwarded, my thoughts drifted back to her, hoping she’d fallen asleep. The helicopter was scheduled to pick us up in three hours.

  When a figure in black started jumping across my phone screen, I pressed play. One of my father’s men, who I know as Tee. I watched him walk around for a minute, disappearing into the bathroom and then into the closet where he walked out with—

  Wait, isn’t that...

  I zoomed in—Paige’s underwear. Specifically, the blue boyshorts I’d peeled down her legs in my kitchen while our dinner was in the oven. She’d been so wet for me.

  My fist clenched as I watched Tee sniff the garment in his hand. Facing her bed, he pushed his pants down to mid-thigh, and it was clear what he was doing. He didn’t need to face the camera for me to know what his hand was jerking away at. A few dreadful minutes later, he lowered her underwear in front of him, and when he turned, I could see his finger spreading his ejaculation in the seat of Paige’s underwear before he waddled with his cock out to the bathroom. My fingers twitched, itching to be wrapped around his throat.

  I’ll fucking kill him if he touches her.

  The queasiness in my stomach didn’t stop me from springing up from the couch and then pacing the living room in the dark, my breathing heavy. I needed to have my kickboxing bag placed in the apartment I rented tomorrow to let out some of this aggression or I would get ahead of myself before I got answers from my dad’s men or from Paige. After a few minutes of pacing, I started to gain some control, so I stood at the bedroom door.

  She’d left the light on, and she was under the bed linen, sleeping. The disgusting image from the video popped into my head again.

  What if they—no. She’s a virgin, for Christ’s sake. Fuck.

  I shook my head, folded my arms across my chest, and leaned my head on the doorpost. She looked so peaceful, but I knew there was a fire inside her. I’d seen it the few days I’d known her.

  Days? Shit.

  A small sniff came out as I smiled.

  Her eyes opened, and she turned her head to me.

  “It’s either you’re a really light sleeper or you weren’t sleeping,” I said.

  “I wasn’t sleeping.” She appeared self-conscious as she peered about the room. “Why were you smiling?”

  “Just thinking about how we’ve known each other for only days, yet all we do is fight like an old married couple.”

  “We don’t fight. More like you watch me act crazy.”

  “Oh, yeah? Well, I fear for the life of anyone brave enough or stupid enough to piss you off. You’re so damn stubborn.”

  “Yeah.” She gave a low chuckle. “I am. And you should fear for their life. I don’t walk around with a gun for nothing.”

  “Good.” I straightened my stance and tucked my hands into the pockets of my sweats, feeling a slight relief that she would fight back if any of those men touched her. I yawned, stretching and covering my mouth with the back of my hand. “You should get some sleep. It isn’t long before we head back.”

  The king-size bed called out to me, and I stepped back as she nodded.

  I was about to walk away when she asked, “Why don’t you want to sleep in the same bed as me? We’ve done it before.”

  “Temptation.”

  “So, you weren’t tempted those other times?”

  “Yeah, but each time, it builds and...”

  The image of Tee rubbing his bodily fluids into Paige’s underwear caused a curse to slip under my breath.

  Fucking disgusting pig.

  Paige’s eyes widened.

  “Sorry, give me a second.” I grabbed my pillow from the couch, reminding myself to have Calvin destroy that pair of underwear before Paige got back home. Returning to the bedroom, I switched off the lights and snuggled in close to her. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, I smiled. “You sleep better when you’re next to me, don’t you?”

  “I can’t be sure. It’s been days, remember?”

  “So, it is true.”

&
nbsp; “I didn’t say that.”

  “Yeah, but I’m just like you, Paige. It’s why I understand you, what you say from what you don’t say. It’s why I don’t think you’re crazy. Well, maybe you are just a little. Not completely. Yet.”

  Her body jerked against mine as she stifled a laugh. “Shut up.”

  I grinned, kissing the side of her neck.

  She sighed. “Don’t do that.”

  “You don’t like it?” I asked, knowing exactly what it did to her. Then I considered the extent of my actions. I was a dick. I’d told her I wouldn’t sleep with her. Yet, here I was, trying to seduce her. “Sorry. Let’s go to sleep. We have only two hours.”

  “I don’t think I can sleep now,” she breathed, her body pressing into mine.

  Neither can I.

  Horny and pissed off weren’t exactly a slumbering mood.

  “I know,” I concurred, all the while thinking that any of those guys could get their hands on her before I could stop them. Fuck, I didn’t know what I would do. The mere thought of it made me feel like I was being skinned alive.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Paige

  After a few minutes of Caleb’s body spooning mine, I needed to get closer. He wasn’t wrapped around me like he had been the night before, and I needed to feel him. Taking matters into my own hands, I thrust my hips back and—holy crap.

  A heavy sigh left his lips as he held my hips in place against his hardened length.

  “Fuck,” he grumbled, his voice sounding pained as he pushed his pelvis firmly against me. “Fuck, Paige.”

  My nipples tightened, and I inhaled, releasing a breath before twisting around to face him, wanting him as much as I knew he wanted me. There was no need for him to try to be a good guy and preserve something I wanted him to have. His lips fused with mine, and the want I felt was beyond anything conceivable. It was as if I’d been in the desert for weeks, searching for food and liquid before stumbling upon a stream of clear, flowing water. That stream was Caleb, and I wanted to dive right in, not caring if it was dangerous or not.

  The heat between our bodies intensified as Caleb rolled me beneath him, nipping and sucking my lips between his. The soft tip of his tongue dipped between my parted lips, and I moaned as his tongue slid against mine. First, in a slow, seductive dance and then in a wild, insatiable wrestle.

  His mouth lifted from mine, and I wanted to protest the loss. Feeling bold, I pulled his shirt up to his underarms and frowned when he moved farther away from me. The bedside lamp clicked on, and a second later, dark eyes were smiling down at me.

  Rising up with one of his knees still between my thighs, he lifted his shirt up over his head. Muscles rippled before my eyes, and I exhaled. With Caleb’s pretty-boy face and gorgeous smile, I’d been attracted to him from the start, but his body in front of me like this spiked an attraction I couldn’t measure. He was... wow. He must work out as much as I do.

  “This was why I needed to sleep on the couch,” he said, lowering himself to me.

  “But I prefer you here,” I replied.

  My body reheated and all but trembled as his soft lips pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he rotated me on top where he removed my cotton tank.

  “Oh, man,” he exhaled. “Come here.”

  I bent over, thinking he wanted to kiss me, but he cupped my breast and guided it to his mouth. And, as he sucked on my nipples, going from one breast to the other in measured movements, my sex clenched, needing what he wasn’t quite giving me yet.

  Grinding against him, I purred, “Caleb. Please.”

  A low groan echoed in his throat before his mouth captured mine, and my breasts crushed to his hard chest, the heated skin-on-skin contact liquefying me.

  “Wow,” I said in awe.

  “What?”

  “This feels good.”

  Strong hands cupped my face, and feeling like a kitten to her master, I leaned into them.

  “Last chance.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Let’s... I want to... you know...”

  “Oh.” I lowered my eyes to his succulent lips before meeting his gaze once more. “What made you change your mind?”

  “Because I want to be the one.” His thumb brushed across my cheek, and his brows furrowed. “Why? Did you not want to anymore? We don’t have to—”

  “Yes,” I answered way too quickly.

  We both chuckled. Of course, I was anxious. I loved how he made me feel, and I wanted him.

  He gave me a brief kiss before climbing out of bed and returning with a condom, which wasn’t good because it only gave my nerves time to surface.

  Holy shit, it’s really happening. Do I want this? What if it’s a mistake?

  His hands paused at the waistband of his sweats. “I don’t like that look.”

  Is he going to... oh my God, I’m going to see him naked. All of him. Not just his—

  “That’s better,” he said.

  Realizing I’d been staring at the bulge in his pants, my face grew hot.

  I pulled the sheets we’d disarranged to my chest, muttering, “Uh,” as my eyes diverted to the other side of the room.

  Caleb didn’t waste any time in removing my pants and settling his... face between my legs. Not where I’d thought this was going, but okay. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what he was doing, especially with that tongue.

  A moan escaped me, and I moved my hips upward, needing the last few strokes of his tongue like I needed the shallow breaths I panted into my lungs.

  Fingers entered me while a warm, wet tongue and soft, skilled lips caressed my center. Beard stubble tickled the sensitive skin in the area not being sucked into his mouth, and my toes began to curl. Then he... stopped.

  No! Why did he stop?

  “Caleb,” I whined.

  “I’ve got you,” he said, making my heart expand as I lay defenseless beneath him.

  As he rested his arms on either side of my body, his cock slid over my sex, causing a sigh to fall from my lips. I could’ve come apart like this, but he didn’t let me. Instead, he adjusted his body until his mouth lowered to my breast and the head of his cock teased around my entrance. Everything was perfect once more, but then he pierced into me—not by much, but the splitting pain caused my whole body to tense. I cried out as pain sliced through me. He stopped moving, stopped what he was doing with my breast as he looked at me.

  “Shit,” he swore. “Are you okay?”

  I inhaled a rush of breath, and words came out. “Yes. No, but don’t stop, just... I’ll be okay after.” Tears tumbled from my eyes, and I looked away.

  “Okay,” he whispered, kissing me before resuming his thrust into my body.

  Why is it so painful? Shit.

  Breaking out in sobs, I tried to crawl away from him, from the pain, but he was too heavy for me to move.

  Tucking his head into my neck, he released a heavy breath. “I’m sorry.”

  After a brief pause, he started a slow push, and little by little, the pain lessened until the pleasure of what he was doing to me set in. Lifting his head, he considered me, and I could have sworn unshed tears glistened in his eyes, but then again, the last few minutes had been brutal, and I still could barely see straight.

  But I still felt the need to assure him. “It feels better now.”

  “Good,” he murmured, kissing and sucking my bottom lip between his.

  His manipulation of my body began again, a tantalizing rotation between tugging on my nipple and rubbing the swollen nub between my thighs. His mouth trailed torturous kisses along my neck, and my body delighted in the fullness of him inside me, the warm friction heightening my arousal. My fingers ran through his silky hair and gripped, persuading his head away from my breast so that I could feel his lips against mine.

  On the verge of succumbing to the mountain of desire threatening to turn into a landslide each time he sank into me, I tightened around him, but it only int
ensified the sensation, and before I knew it, I was dissolving beneath him and then tightly pulling him against me as my legs wound around his hips. We panted against each other’s lips until Caleb let out the sexiest groan I’d ever heard. I wanted to hear it again and again.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Caleb

  Back in Boston, I held Paige’s hand while we walked toward the train station, neither one of us having spoken about the things that mattered. Like why someone was after her or what had happened in her past that made her feel as if she needed a weapon to protect herself. She’d skipped her morning classes in favor of sleeping in and having actual breakfast at Tiffany’s with me. Without a doubt, it was the most sentimental thing I’d ever done.

  A few feet before the staircase leading down to the metro, I stopped, and she turned to me as our joined hands stretched to their limit between us.

  “I’m walking from here,” I told her.

  “Don’t you have to change for work?” She squinted from the direct beam of sunlight hitting her in the eyes.

  “Yeah, but I have clothes there, at the hotel.”

  “That’s right. You did say your dad was the owner. Do you get your own free room or something?”

  “Or something,” I said. I’d been lived there since I was seventeen, but I didn’t want to get into that with her.

  We both smiled. Pulling her close, I raised my hand to cup her gorgeous face. Her hair was wrapped in a messy bun, so I couldn’t comb my fingers through it like I wanted.

  “When are you moving?”

  “Um, I don’t know.”

  “Okay, well, if you need any help, you have my number.”

  “Thanks. I should get going.”

  She turned her head to the side but not before I saw the stones falling into place as the wall she was building made its way to her eyes.

  After what happened between us, she won’t try to ghost me, will she?

  ❧

  Looking around the shadowy streets as I walked up the steps to the suburban house on the corner, still in my business suit, I wondered how the neighbors didn’t find the number of men going in and out of the household strange. Although it could be because a majority of my father’s business meetings were held after nine on most nights. Brad and I were the only ones allowed in before that time due to the family relationship.