I AM A GIRL CYOBORG PET
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"Oh dear Zola is going to be so mad at me, accidentally ramming her boy friend's brain with one of my aircraft. Remind me to send Bismarck some flowers. I wonder if Hallmark do a card 'sorry my aircraft flew into your brain setting it on fire? ' something humorous on the inside like 'you weren't using it any way' or 'next time don't paint a target on it'." said Rockwood.18
"How about 'thinking of you even if you can't think of anything' or 'actually you make brain damage look good' , Master" I said.
"Nice, maybe you could get some card and crayons and you could make one. Nothing says I really feel sorry for the accidentally destruction of you and your building more than getting your one year old pet to make a homemade card eh?"6
I looked out, the building printer on the top of the tower was starting to tip over.
"oh dear that's so unlucky," said Rockwood. Wow he really was ruthless. I mean completely lacking in ruth. Total ruth absence. A ruth quotionant of zero. If anyone could have negative ruth it was him. Wow ruth was in complete exile around Rockwood. Note to self don't pi$$ Rockwood off, I mean never. OMG that's my job. Rockwood had a mean streak a mile wide what ever a mile was in kilometres. Still I think I now had my own personal chocolate horde. Mine all mine, Insert evil laugh here.
The tower started to crumble pierced by the arrow of the Osprey's smoke.
"opss!" said Rockwood. "Add a balloon to those flowers. I really am sorry. How terrible. I so wouldn't want to be around him tonight. " he said smiling.2
We walked on. Then his face changed "That's a bad email to get. Such a shame. It looks like Kijo's back ups were erased from my server farm the moment I fired him, the only one he had were the physical copies he was given as he boarded the plane a few minutes ago. Sad, looks like that's the last we are seeing of Kijo. Shame nice guy apart from downsizing and having a slovenly appearance. Did I wish you a happy birthday?"1
"No master," I said.
"Happy birthday . Feel free to make a card for me to give to you" said Rockwood. The smoke rising from the building in the distance behind him then he looked at Gort. "Wish her a happy birthday"
"Happy birthday random slave" said Gort.1
"Thank you Masters. It's been a terrific day" I said smiling.
+
*1 robot year is 100 classic days. 10
**
Chapter 67/Him/A Game of Drones or Truculent pets at Stellavista
'Whr r v going?' I texted Rockwood from my collar as we stepped into the hypertrain.
"This is the route to the ceremonial capital called Stellavista." Rockwood began "When the machines were trying to decide where to put the capital of the world they came down to a choice between Washington 2.0 and Stellavista. Region 334 [ Nebraska ] was more central but region 344 [ Wyoming ] was neatly square and the Robots liked that. It was a long hard difficult discussion but as the librarians say the harder something is to decide the less it matters."4
"Librarians say that?.. Master.. " I said aloud2
"They used to before they called them selves information retrieval experts" he added. 'When the nuclear power plant got hacked by Anonymous it was a good excuse to do the outdoor stuff in Stellavista." Rockwood texted back.5
Outside sounded good. That had 'escape' or at worst case 'scouting out escape' written all over it.1
We sat down on the seats in the hypertrain, well he sat like the other slaves, I got the floor. There were a number of robots shiny in their best bodies on the train all accompanied by a pet human slave or two. Further up the train I saw Lady Zola staring at us. She came up and talk to Rockwood but kept glancing at me.1
"3000 that's my best and final offer. No one has ever paid that much for one before " she said to Rockwood.7
"Thanks but nay thanks" said Rockwood quickly and politely. That shut Zola up and she flounced off in disgust.
'what was that about?' I texted.
'Property deal I don't want to do. Does she look any different to you? asked Rockwood via encrypted text message.
I looked at her she was wearing some fabulous flouncy outfit, but it was still her.
'No' I texted back.
"rumour has it that when she discovered that I was letting you use her make-up machine she had her old body vaporised in disgust" whispered Rockwood.5
'LOL' I texted back.2
'Wait until she finds out that her favourite designer is doing your party dress' Rockwood continued.7
Zola, was staring very intently at us in fact she was staring very intently at me.
"Why is it so hot on this train?" I texted. The train had no windows or rather the windows were just curved screens playing movies of train journeys. In fact I'm almost sure I was watching the same landscape as the hog warts express.4
"It's going to be cold were we are going. Your clothes have tiny wires in them. That battery supplies power, just tell your collar to turn the temperature down" said Rockwood.
'oh that lump attached under the tail is the battery pack' I texted.
'of course it's the battery pack what else could it be?' Rockwood texted.
'well it was dangling beneath my tail' I texted. I was wearing yet another sleek unitard in shiny silicon blue this time with a tail again.7
'and?' texted Rockwood.
'Doesn't matter'.
While I talked to my collar to fiddle with my temperature gauge I looked down the other end of the carriage to see Villeria trying not to look at Rockwood. With her she had a single slave girl also with a tail and cat ears. The slave girl looked miserable poor thing. I was wearing the smart a$$ contact lenses and it told me the miserable slave girl was called 'No-not-me'. The slave girl was looking at Rockwood. Looking around I realised most of the women on the train were looking at him. The slave girl confused me.4
'I thought having cool sexy dangerous bodyguards was the in thing' I texted.
'That was so last year (last robot year). Cute sulky truculent pets are in,' Rockwood texted.3
'Your so fashion forward' I texted back.
'Sort of, Villaria got one to please me before Region 1 south and it got into a magazine. That and the whole YCF meme.'
Wow I was trending. #JennyBanks.
"Look we are arriving at Stellavista" said Rockwood. This is weird we had only really just sat down.
'We have?' I didn't realise that we have departed. It only been a few minutes .3
'how could we be in Wyoming it's like 500 miles' I text did getting a level one punishment for not using the official name.2
It was weird it took me less time to say a text sub- vocally than to physically say it. The collar had some kind of spoken text prediction. You could also listen to a text quicker than hearing/read it. Sometimes we just talked in room 404 by texting. It was so much faster. I guess it must have been weird to people listening it was frequently just one bout of laughter followed by another. I kind of got his sense of humor and the wonderful thing was he got mine. Talking like this for a few minutes was like chatting for hours.
"the benefits of magnetic levitation in a vacuum tube," said Rockwood as we stood up.'Now behave'
'When I have I ever not behaved :-) ?' I texted.5
'most of the time' Rockwood texted back. He was right, but I was about to get my comeupance.
...2
StellaVista 300 miles east of Washington 2.0 area formally known as Wyoming
We stepped off the train and walked up. The plain concrete corridor was lined with a number of polished robot guards at attention. The marble floor was covered with a red carpet. I looked down to see a neat circular shadow around Rockwood. It moved as he moved it had the world 'Rockwood - inner circle' written on it. I had my own circle with a line joining mine to his. With the word 'plus pet', terrific.3
'Intelligent Red Carpet. If you step on this without permission and it can kill you' said Rockwood. Brilliant I thought the whole point of taking the train was to avoid near death experiences. I noticed we were moving faster than we were walking. It was like the red carpet was like a airport
thing - what do they call those flat escalators? - I googled my collar, a travelator ?
I saw Villaria up ahead of me.
'How did Villaria become a Cyborg?' I asked looking at her in the distance.
'Its that your question? The question I must answer and must answer truthfully' Rockwood texted me.1
'No it's not' I texted back I had plans for that question.
'OK, She started as a hairdresser', Rockwood texted.1
'What? not a scientist, military, ninja assassin or something?' I texted4
'Well she did a degree in psychology then switched to medieval literature, bit of an avid climber.. Friend of Zola's' Rockwood texted back instantly.
'What happened to her' I asked seeing her punish her slave.
'Not sure basically she turned to the dark side of hairdressing' he texted casually.3
'hairdressing has a dark side?' I texted. Ascii text could never transmit my level of consternation.3
'Sure if you can have evil scientists, evil generals, evil politicians why not evil hairdressers?'3
'So she turned to the dark side of hairdressing' I texted in disbelief.
'She was into tattoos, piercings, body modifications. After coming second in a national hairdressing contest, she got into extreme mods. She started playing with ways to improve her dexterity. A girl called Mechcor got people trying out augmented consciousness with blood chips surgically implanted, suited Villaria.' Rockwood explained.
'So was this Mechcor a scientist?' I texted.
'Not really she was a student nurse.'
'Student nurse really?' I texted.
'Evil student nurse, turned to the dark side of nursing'13
'Really? Nursing has a dark side?' I was texting incredulously.
'Bunch at Nuremberg trial. Most are in it to help people but some for the parties and extensive access to drugs. Did you know 1 in 20 successful bank robberies are done by nurses? .' he started 'Mechcor was the first to have two blood chips implanted. She switched to medicine studied the course within a week. Asked to just do the exams. The teachers refused, so she wrote papers which would leap frog or disprove the work of each member of the faculty. Threatened to publish if they didn't agree. She even got Zola to seduce the guy in charge of research funding. Turns out if you don't get research grants in a posh Medical School you loose your job as a medical professor. She forced them to gave in...'
'So Zola was part of this?' I clarified.
'Sure she was studying complementary medicine. She wanted to be a herbal therapist.' Rockwood texted casually.
'Don't tell me, she turned to the dark side of complimentary medicine'2
'I haven't told you this before have I?' he texted.
'No. So how did you get involved with this?' Nursing, Hairdressing, Homeopathy, and Mathematics the real four horsemen (horse persons?) of the apocalypse, who would've figured.
'Well, I'd just won a Feild's prize for Mathematics for my solution to the Ziv-Kemple problem but failed the mandatory drugs test and lost it.' Rockwood opened up 'I was down and discredited. My future in mathematics was over. Bitmarck was a close friend at that time, introduced me to Zola or as she was then called FrostByte. She was a big hackerett in her spare time. We were a gang, Shadow Modes Ocelot, Savak, Kaz, Me, Bitmarck, everyone... I dabbled with an illegal blood chip Mechcor installed, wrote a 43,000 page proof of one of the most difficult problems in maths then realized no one could publish it or indeed check it's validity. '
'What happened ?' I said eyes wide open.
"Long story, eventually Bitmarck went to three blood chips.' Rockwood started 'Operated on himself. At this point, he needed extra blood to keep the chip going. Started vamping people at parties, we didn't find out until the police started to track him. If the police had found out we would have been in serious trouble. At the same time, he decoded the secret messages which the big AI's were sending out in stealth mode to talk to each other. We joined their network and the rest is history and way above your pay grade."
'I don't get paid anything' I pointed out.
'Which shows you how far above your pay grade it is'
'So could Oblivion be some kind of herbal remedy concocted in Zola's labs?' I said.
'I did wonder if oblivion was a deviant use of extreme dark aromatherapy. So I checked. No traces of organic Rosemary so it wasn't Zola. It could be a foul use of dark homeopathy and the chemistry is just a cover. But it's impossible to detect homeopathy dark or not with scientific methods. I mean she did read every dark book on homeopathy so if anyone could she could'
'homeopathy has a dark side.' Wow I didn't know evil was so extensive.7
We turned a corner and passed some dangerous looking gun turrets embedded in the wall.
The local wifi had names like 'if you attempt to log on to this wifi you will be incinerated', 'the penalty for trying to connect to this wifi is worse' and 'Mike's Nokia 320 - just kidding we will kill you if you try this one as well'. Talk about a secure zone.1
"Does homeopathy have a dark side?" he said repeating me "I think your record really is stuck. Sure could there really be light without the dark? Alternative Medicine has a dark underbelly something those hippies didn't want you to find out about, bizarre side-effects... I discovered Zola was running a huge alchemical research lab where she tested her latest ideas in Acupuncture and Ayurveda on thousands of slave victims. At first, I just convinced myself that these horrible mutations and grotesque physical changes were just the results of an extreme placebo effect. I mean a guy can make his own head explode, like an egg under a hammer, just by believing it, can't he? Wasn't all bad of course she did discover this acupuncture point which would make you fall instantly in love with someone but only for a couple of seconds. I know Zola is working on a homeopathic way to enslave humanity. Something not covered by the New Mechanical Order Laws on not tainting the blood supply. She still has a huge lab on a tall mountain in Switzerland where she has imprisoned every herbalist she could lay her hands on. She holds their families hostage and forces them to experiment on people day and... oh look a sunrise over Stellavista"
I felt really naive, I guess it all made sense, all those Rhinos and Elephants being killed to fuel the illegal trade in ivory for traditional medicine. Naturally, it had a shady side, why didn't Peter James use that as the basis for one of his novels to warn us? Oh the horror of it all. Would it really have killed Mission Impossible to have just one film were they track down a gang of reneged homeopaths who wanted to detonate a herbal remedy of mass destruction? If only Mary Shelly had written a sequel to Frankenstein where an evil aromatherapist had pushed the boundaries of her art too far we could have a cliche which could serve some real use.
We followed the direction of the carpet, walked upstairs and emerged outside. We were standing on a platform before a huge parade ground. The architecture was middle era Soviet but with the scale weirdly enlarged. Beyond the massive parade ground were mountains, beyond them freedom, but not today.
'Look the Central Processing Unit' texted Rockwood indicating two men on a platform before some microphones.
"Hello this is Stampy and welcome to a Minecraft let's play video." said the first thin, curly haired Englishman talking into a microphone waving.31
'All Hail the new mechanical order. This speech brought to your collar by the commission for public of safety
"The commission for public safety are interpreting our leader's meaning in a way suitable for slaves to understand. They are borrowing 10,000 blood chips to do it" explained Rockwood to me.3
I looked out and saw a huge parade ground it was so big you could practically see the curvature of the earth on it. Around the parade ground were massive stands big enough to hold millions of people. Below us far below us was a huge army of robots not to mention every manner of rolling walking and crawling machine you can imagine.
"And today in this video I'm being joined by Lee Bear. Is that a cake for me Lee i
s that for my breakfast ha ha?" said Stampy. We could hear the CPU's words up close.10
"Our forces have come together to demonstrate their might to the world and show that the New Mechanical Order now rules humanity
"Now cheer
"Cheer slave
"yah" I said flaccidly.5
"Let's see who we've got in our Love garden shall we? today it's Tobago," said Stampy.
"We come to celebrate the crushing defeat of Tobago
"That was sent in by a lovely young watcher innnnn.... Ramsbottom in Lancashire " said Stampy Cat.
There was a pause "Our triumph was the work of the mighty General Bitsmarck
While Stampy spoke, members of the Cyborg and AI elite wandered around with drinks. The red carpet would sometimes draw lines between people far away, which I think was a suggestion they talked. Rockwood seemed at the centre of many lines, looked like everyone should talk to him. I had lines joining me to other slaves. Some had writing on them suggesting things to talk about like 'also failed poll dancing', 'talk to about remedial subservience training', 'also had bad fungal infections'. Gee, Lot of help there carpet.
I looked around and came over to a table struggling to hold up the load of sumptuous food on int. I was wearing my hyper contact lenses and on the food were projected labels. Babaganush with carefully carved dips which I had discover at Rockwood Hall and tasted wonderful. I had become a big fan of despite the lack of meat. Looking around I noticed all the food was vegetarian. Was this for slaves? I looked around at the masters. Ok a fair number of 'people' about a quarter of the crowd. Some were co-labs the rest were cyborgs. I knew the cyborg's like Villeria and Zola had transferred and just looked like people. Did they still eat? That was a bit weird, I knew we had to eat this PARC - ok tasty PARC but the cyborgs and masters too? Perhaps the robots hated beef more than they hated people. Like anything the robots did including give a speech made sense.1