Spar

by Nikko Lee

  Chapter 8

  Jaime felt the shiver of ecstasy racing through Sempai Tyler’s body seconds before he came. He only wished he could see the look on the man’s face. There was nothing quite like that moment when everything else in the world ceased to exist except two men enjoying each other. Jaime had no doubt he’d rocked Sempai Tyler’s world—if only for that moment—but as he pulled away he prepared for the worst. Making a fantasy into a reality had a weird effect on some people. Jaime wasn’t sure if Sempai Tyler could deal with what had just happened.

  To Jaime’s surprise, Sempai Tyler just sat watching Jaime with a stupid grin on his lips. Afterglow. Jaime tried not to read too much into the utter calm. He almost looked serene, like Jaime had just made his dreams come true. The thought was enough to make Jaime kiss him. Then he remembered his first aborted attempt.

  The connection sharing sexual pleasure brought didn’t need words. Sempai Tyler didn’t look like he was going to freak out, and for once Jaime wanted to linger instead of bolting for the door.

  “It’s getting late,” Jaime finally said when he realized they’d sat in silence for nearly half an hour. He feared the awkwardness of parting and figured he’d better make it quick. “See you around.”

  “Yeah, see you around.”

  Jaime didn’t even turn around to see if Sempai Tyler had finally come to his senses. Instead, Jaime awkwardly slung his gi bag over his shoulder and used it to hide his erection as he hustled back to his own car. He wanted to hold onto the memory of Sempai Tyler’s serene expression as long as he could. His car was parked on Main Street, so he’d have to wait until he got home to masturbate.

  The entire drive back to his apartment, Jaime replayed the evening in his mind from the exhausting karate class to the brutal sparring session and finally ending with their moment of pleasure. By the time Jaime was through his apartment door, he was already unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. He replayed going down on Sempai Tyler, but in his mind Sempai Tyler returned the favor.

  Jaime dropped onto his couch and started to masturbate. Maybe if he closed his eyes he could recapture how it felt in that car. It had felt so right.

  Then Jaime remembered Sempai Tyler’s words. I’m not gay. A hot streak of anger coursed through him and robbed him of any sexual excitement he had felt. Why was he fantasizing about a man who didn’t want to be with him more than once?

  When his phone rang, Jaime’s first thought was of Sempai Tyler. Jaime hadn’t given the man his number. Then he remembered his promise to call Tomas. Taking a deep breath, Jaime debated whether or not to let the call go to his voicemail.

  “Hello,” Jaime said into the receiver and prayed he wasn’t too late. He didn’t need another fantasy. “Tomas?”

  “I thought maybe you’d forgotten about me.”

  Jaime cringed. He had forgotten about Tomas in the heat of the moment.

  “Class ran late.” Jaime didn’t want to lie to Tomas, but he wasn’t about to explain why he was out so late. “I just got in.”

  “You must really enjoy this class to stay there so late.”

  There was a playfulness in Tomas’ voice that set Jaime at ease.

  “I do.” Jaime wasn’t used to sharing much about his personal life with the men he was interested in. But if he wanted a chance at a real relationship, he knew he was going to have to open up. “I used to train in judo when I was a kid. It’s a great workout and really pushes you to be better. There’s no place to hide from yourself in a dojo.”

  Tomas chuckled. “I love your passion.”

  Jaime tried to push all thoughts of Sempai Tyler from his brain and focus on Tomas.

  * * * *

  Tyler and Jaime had sat in the car for nearly twenty minutes. Neither of them said much. Tyler got the impression Jaime wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to freak out. In the privacy of Tyler’s car, nothing felt more natural.

  Even after they parted and Tyler went home, he still basked in the pleasure of the moment he had shared with Jaime. Tyler even woke in the middle of the night, consumed by the memory of seeing Jaime’s mouth wrapped around his cock. Replaying the evening again and again, he masturbated to another intense release.

  Nothing about what they had done had felt awkward until the next karate class. Tyler feared something would change between him and Jaime. Tyler knew he had changed by having given into his desire for another man. There was no denying that. What he didn’t know was how it would affect the rest of his life. Karate had been a part of his life longer than any lover had occupied his bed or heart.

  Besides, Jaime was a one-time thing, an experiment. A successful experiment, as far as Tyler was concerned. He was thrilled with the possibility of continuing to explore his newfound desires. It was like Tyler’s rainbow had gained a new color.

  Then the dread set in when Tyler feared not everyone would understand his new vision. He wasn’t like Jaime—interested only in men—but he wasn’t like Randy anymore either. Would Randy still respect him if he knew Tyler had gotten a blowjob from Jaime? Would Sensei Melissa think less of Tyler if she knew? Tyler feared the answer enough he was tempted to pretend he’d never accepted Jaime’s gift to him.

  When Tyler stepped into the dojo and saw Jaime warming up, he was tempted to turn back around and leave. He might convince himself no one could see what he’d done written on his face or in his body language, but Jaime would know.

  “Konichi-wa, Sempai,” Sarah called when she spotted Tyler lingering at the door.

  “Konichi-wa, Sarah.” With a deep breath, Tyler pushed aside his fears and stepped into the dojo.

  He focused on Sarah and Randy as he tried to block out all thoughts of Jaime. That only made it worse. His rebellious mind brought up such a detailed image of Jaime’s playful smile, hungry eyes, and silky hair that were as real as if Tyler was staring at Jaime in the flesh.

  All throughout class, Tyler did his best to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing. It was easy to lose himself in action and form until he caught a glimpse of Jaime. While he was a student like any other, Jaime wasn’t like anyone Tyler had ever known. Jaime, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to Tyler. No, that wasn’t right, Tyler realized. Their eyes had not met once during the entire class. Jaime had been avoiding Tyler and doing a damn good job of disappearing into the rhythm of class.

  When class ended, Tyler had built up enough nervous energy that he was more than ready to spar. The ritual he and Jaime had of sparring after every class seemed impossible now. Things were different between them, and Tyler didn’t know what that meant. He couldn’t avoid interacting with Jaime forever, even though Jaime seemed perfectly capable of pretending like Tyler didn’t exist. He gnawed on that thought like a dog with a hollow bone.

  Jaime wasn’t the only one Tyler could spar with and he was probably the last person Tyler should be sparring with. Whenever Tyler thought of him, Jaime’s eyes were filled with the lust that had taken hold of them in the car. It was a far cry from the lowered gaze Jaime had had all night. Tyler would have to find someone else to spar with.

  “You want to spar?” Tyler asked Randy, who was stretching as he waited for Sarah, who was working with Jaime on his kata.

  Randy gave him a confused look. “Don’t you usually spar with Jaime? Won’t he be jealous?”

  Tyler tried not to wince at Randy’s good-hearted jibe. With a pang of guilt, Tyler looked over at Jaime as he mimicked Sarah’s movement. Every word she spoke captivated his complete attention. Even if Tyler wanted to ask Jaime to spar, he doubted Jaime would be willing. For some reason, that hurt.

  “It’s always good to switch up partners.” Tyler manufactured a carefree shrug to mask the range of emotions that raced through him. “What about it?”

  “Sure.”

  It didn’t take long for Randy and Tyler to find their groove. They had sparred together for years. Even though they were familiar with each other’s moves, Tyler surprised Randy with a few new techniques he’d
been working on with Jaime. Tyler even took Randy to the ground and pinned him.

  “When did you start grappling?” Randy took Tyler’s hand as he helped Randy off the ground.

  “Just something I’ve been working on.”

  To Tyler’s relief, sparring with Randy felt just like it always did. There was no doubt about what Tyler felt or wanted. Randy was an opponent and friend but nothing more. Randy didn’t seem to notice the change in Tyler, but he wasn’t about to say anything. There were just some things you didn’t admit to anyone—not even your best friend.

  “Sayonara, Jaime.” Sarah called to Jaime, who was frozen mid-bow in the doorway.

  “Sayonara.”

  Jaime didn’t even look up. His voice didn’t rise above a whisper. Tyler watched him leave the dojo, unsure if he wanted Jaime to see him watching or not. Not sparring with Jaime felt like a missed opportunity.

  “Round two?”

  Clearing his mind of Jaime, Tyler turned his attention back to Randy.

  They continued the match until they were the only ones left in the dojo. Sarah had left soon after Jaime to get something to eat. Tyler admired the casual way Randy and Sarah interacted. In the dojo, they were like any other students. It was clear they were friends who wanted the other to succeed in karate. There was no hint of awkwardness, despite their intimacy. Tyler envied them. Their relationship never took away from their training. Numerous times Tyler had seen them working together, pushing each other to be better.

  “Sarah’s not going to be pissed at me for keeping you so late?” Tyler asked as they changed.

  Randy shook his head.

  “She understands. Although next time she might want to spar with you. You can never get enough sparring practice.”

  “True.”

  The match had done Tyler good and reminded him every opponent had something different to teach him. He hadn’t sparred with Sarah in months and planned on rectifying that oversight. With her black belt test coming up in a matter of months, she would be eager for the practice. As much as he worried about his body betraying him if he sparred with Jaime, Tyler didn’t fear getting aroused while sparring with Sarah. Was it because she was his best friend’s wife or because he chose to see her as a karate student?

  “Does it ever get weird for you with Sarah in class?”

  “Weird, how?” Randy gave Tyler a thoughtful look.

  “You know, when you’re sparring or working on locks?” Tyler struggled to find the right words to parallel what he was feeling without giving too much away. “Is it ever…distracting?”

  Randy chuckled and pulled up his pants.

  “Sometimes,” Randy admitted with a wide grin. “She’s pretty hot when she gets going. And sometimes I worry about hurting her. When we first started dating, it took some getting used to. But you know, she wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if I treated her any differently than the other students. When we’re in class, we’re karate-ka first. When we’re at home, it’s another matter altogether. Besides, there’s nothing as sexy as a woman who can wrap you up like a pretzel. Plus, you’ve got a built-in partner to train with at home.”

  Tyler forced visions of Randy and Sarah repeating some of the moves learned in class in their bedroom.

  “Thanks for the mental image,” Tyler said. The images of Randy and Sarah were quickly replaced with ones of him and Jaime. Tyler shook his head to clear it. “How did you go back to being karate-ka after you got involved?”

  Tyler couldn’t even look at Randy without fear of giving himself away. As long as he was careful, Randy would just assume he was interested in one of the women in class. There were a few who were single and around his age. The thought that Randy would match Tyler’s questions up with his interest in Jaime was too terrifying to consider.

  “Sarah wouldn’t have it any other way,” Randy said. “The way she explained it to me, if I treated her any differently than the other students then I was doing her a disservice. I would never want to make her a weaker student. If anything, I’m a little harder on her. I know what she’s capable of, and I want her to succeed.”

  “That makes sense.” Tyler’s thoughts were rapidly shifting from his worries and insecurities to how what he’d done might change Jaime’s training. “Thanks.”

  “Just make sure you know what you are doing before you get involved with anyone in class,” Randy said. “Things worked out good for Sarah and me, but that’s because we both agreed we didn’t want anything interfering with our training. Not everyone can draw that line.”

  Tyler nodded.

  Randy had never talked about what it was like to train with Sarah, and Tyler had never asked. Even though they were best friends, it was weeks before Tyler caught on that Randy and Sarah had hooked up. Tyler always figured they didn’t want any hard feelings in the dojo if things didn’t work out between them. Sensei Melissa had known all along. She’d always smile when the two worked together. Tyler hadn’t noticed it at the time, but, looking back on it now, they always worked well together. No awkwardness or kid glove treatment, just two people sharing something they loved.

  “Did you finally convince Jenny to try out the class?” Randy asked.

  Hearing Jenny’s name caught Tyler off-guard. He really hadn’t thought about her much since she had ended their relationship.

  “We broke up.” Tyler stuffed his gi into his bag. It was easier to concentrate on it while he thought of a good reason the breakup with Jenny wasn’t his biggest concern.

  “I’m sorry, man. When did that happen?”

  “Monday.”

  When Tyler looked up, he saw Randy’s concerned stare.

  “This Monday?”

  “Yeah.” Tyler’s reply only deepened the frown on Randy’s face. “Things have been heading that way for weeks. She just made it official on Monday.”

  “Damn, I thought there was something off with you,” Randy said. “Do you want to get a beer or something?”

  Even though it had only been three days since Jenny had broken up with Tyler, it felt like months. There was no way he was going to go out drinking with Randy. They used to tell each other everything, especially when a few beers were involved. Tyler couldn’t lie sober and got talkative when alcohol was involved. There was no way he was going to risk letting it slip that Jaime had gone down on him or, worse, that he’d enjoyed it.

  “No thanks.” Tyler grabbed his gear and headed out of the changing room. “I think I just need some time to myself.”

  “I hear you,” Randy nodded in understanding. “Just give me a call if you want to go a couple of rounds on the PS4. I just got the latest Fallout game. Lots of blood and bullets.”

  Tyler nodded. “I’ll let you know.”

  Randy was a good friend. He’d seen Tyler through half a dozen breakups with bar nights and endless rounds of first-person shooters. Until he had met Sarah, Tyler had always joked Randy would spend his life as a bachelor while he bounced from relationship to relationship. Now Randy was happily married, and Tyler was trying to come to grips with what he really wanted. Suddenly being single was looking very appealing.

  “Tyler,” Randy’s tone got serious, and he almost seemed reluctant to say what was on his mind. “We are tight, but I’ve got to say this. The dojo is a great place to meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but it’s the last place you want to have a one-night stand.”

  Randy was speaking not only as a friend but a fellow black belt. “Sarah and I worked out, but if things don’t work out usually someone ends up quitting.”

  That was the last thing Tyler wanted. Considering the way Jaime had acted all class, Tyler knew he had to set things straight between them. He would never be able to forgive himself if Jaime quit karate because of him.

  * * * *

  When Jaime arrived at class, he had his mind made up to avoid direct contact with Sempai Tyler without making it obvious he was avoiding him. It was the only way to get the man out of his thoughts. If pra
cticing karate hadn’t come to mean so much to Jaime, he might have been tempted to just skip class. But Tomas was busy and Jaime loved his new dojo. All he needed to do was remember those three little words Sempai had said. I’m not gay.

  Jaime knew where those kinds of relationships went. Sempai Tyler had been honest with him about their encounter being a one-night stand, and Tomas was turning out to be an amazing conversationalist. They had talked on the phone for nearly two hours that first night and stayed up ridiculously late the next. Their conversations ranged from the typical getting to know you questions to the more intimate ones. Jaime was looking forward to their hiking date on Saturday, even though he didn’t own a pair of hiking boots.

  All Jaime needed to do was give his body a reality check.

  Fortunately, Sempai Tyler was keeping his distance, too. Jaime made a point of asking Sarah for help with his kata then made a beeline for the door as soon as they were done. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous to see Sempai Randy taking his place sparring with Sempai Tyler. But it was for the best. Jaime needed to focus on a relationship that could actually go somewhere, instead of his libido. Three more days and he’d get a chance to see if Tomas was as good in person as he was on the phone.

  Chapter 9

  Randy’s words of caution about getting involved with someone in the dojo kept bouncing around in Tyler’s head as the days went on. The next class wasn’t until Monday, and he couldn’t be sure Jaime would show up. Tyler’s uncertainty about his attraction to Jaime vanished under the weight of his responsibilities as a black belt. He had acted so rashly in satisfying his own desires without a second thought as to how it would affect Jaime. Not that Jaime was forced into it, but Tyler should have known it would change things between them. It didn’t even occur to him it would affect Jaime’s training.

  Several times Tyler thought about calling Jaime. His number was on the class phone list. It just felt wrong to use it to call him. For Tyler, the need to separate his karate life from his hidden desires was paramount. He couldn’t let one interfere with the other. Jaime needed to know that.