by Shelly Davis
“When I tell you to get your fuckin’ fat ass out of the goddamn car, Antonia, I mean now you stupid bitch,” he bellowed as he dragged me through the window. The glass sliced though the back of my shirt and made bloody slashes down my bare legs as they slid across the jagged edges. When I was out of the car, he let me drop to the ground in the mud. He squatted down and seized my ponytail in his hand once again. The length of my hair wrapped around his hand, he yanked hard forcing my head back making me look up at him. He spit in my face and laughed. I tried to scramble away from him, but I couldn’t move. “You’re a pathetic piece of shit. You don’t deserve me, but I’m not lettin’ you get away. I told you no one leaves me, ever. Did you think I’d let you go because of some fuckin’ restraining order? You’re out of your damn mind.” He jerked my head back, his hand lifted in the air ready to deliver a blow. The back of his hand landed on the side of my head, making me see stars. I tried to pull away with all I could. I didn’t care if he ripped every hair out of my head; I had to get away from him.
Hair wound around his hand once more, I was rendered powerless as he dragged me toward the road. The gravel cut into the back of my already bleeding legs. My hands scraped across the merciless ground as I tried desperately to fight against Todd’s strength. I could do little against him. He dropped me to the side of the road behind his truck. Jerking his foot back, he kicked me in the side just below my rib. The scream that erupted from me was lost in the black void of the woods. Attempting to roll away, he stopped me with another kick. I curled into myself, trying to hide from another attack. He knelt down to my side and pushed me to my back. He glared down, hatred glowing in his heartless eyes.
“What do you want from me, Todd?” I whimpered. I couldn’t make any other sound. I knew what was coming, he was going to rape me or kill me, or both.
“I told you, no one leaves me, Antonia. No one,” he growled hovering over me. I prayed someone would save me before Todd killed me.
The large hunting knife appeared in his hand, the blade glinting in the moon light. I knew the knife well, and I knew he wasn’t afraid to use it. For some reason, instead of terror a sense of calm came over me. I could fight this, I could do everything I could to survive, but it wouldn’t matter. Todd had the upper hand. I tried to calm my breath and settle down. Maybe if I allowed him to have his way, he wouldn’t kill me.
He leered down at me, his eyes cold. He brought the knife up toward my face, the red taillights from his truck reflected on the blade. It looked as if it was already covered in blood. The blade slid down my body, toward the edge of my shorts. The razor sharp edge threatening to slice through the cloth covering my helpless flesh. The unrelenting steel bit into my skin as it slid into my shorts. With a swift flick of his wrist, Todd sliced through the cloth. The chill of the night air crawled across my exposed skin. He repeated the same action on the other side, slicing away the material until all that remained was my tiny panties. He slid the knife up my hip again, the material of my panties gave way to the remorseless metal. He slid his other hand up the front of me, pushing the front of my ruined shirt up to reveal my bra. I prayed someone would save me.
He moved the blade across my stomach, tip plunging into my skin, making me scream. The warmth of blood trickled down my hip. “Now Antonia, are you gonna be a good girl and take it like you’re supposed to?” He slid the knife beneath the material between my breasts and cut the bra away. He used the tip of the knife to slide the cups away, scraping against my skin, revealing my breasts. “I always loved your tits, babe,” he said. The knife still in one hand, he moved his other hand down my bare body toward my crotch. “I told you, no one will ever touch this body but me. No one. I’ll kill your ass before I let any other man put his hands on you. Do you understand me? I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”
He backed off just enough to release his erection from the confines of his shorts. Hovering over me, his evil sneer and cold eyes were all I could see. The rumbling sound of engines and bright headlights came down the road from both directions. The crunch of gravel under rubber and the roar of the engines distracted Todd enough for me to get my hands free. I clamped my fingers down on his ear and pulled as hard as I could. He let out a loud bellow just as someone ripped him from my grasp. Before I knew what was happening, I was enfolded in someone’s arms with something wrapped around my naked and battered body. A series of thuds and grunts sounded not far away. Then the a police siren echoed through the valley.
“It’s okay, darlin’. It’s Dad. I got you. You’re safe now, I promise.” My dad kept whispering things to me to calm me down. My body trembled and my tears fell as relief washed over me. My dad was there. Todd couldn’t hurt me again.
My dad picked me up and carried me to his truck. As we moved, I could see Jake and Cade standing over a form lying on the ground in a fetal position. Officer Burke and another officer were shouting for them to back away. My dad sat me on the seat in his truck and pulled the blanket tighter around my body. He looked into my eyes, but all I could see was a blurred form.
“Toni did he …?” he stopped as if he didn’t know how to ask.
I shook my head and whispered, “No. You saved me.” I knew I was cut and would be bruised, but he didn’t have the chance to rape me or do any real damage. As my eyes cleared, I could see the pure rage in his face as he watched the officers pick Todd’s battered body off the ground and drag him to the police cruiser. I knew he wanted Todd dead, but I needed my dad. I wrapped my arms around his and hugged his huge bicep. “Thank you, Daddy.”
He leaned in and kissed the top of my head, “It’s my job to keep you safe, Toni. You’re my baby, I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
We stayed at the side of the road as Officer Burke and the other guy cuffed Todd and closed him into their police cruiser. When the officers came to talk to me, my dad stood by my side and held me close. I had to tell them the entire story, from Jake getting a text from who he thought was his brother until Todd ran me off the road and almost raped me. I had to stop a few times and breathe, but I managed to get though.
It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. Detailing what he did with the knife and what he was planning to do to me in front of my dad was horrible. I felt so weak, so pathetic.
“So that’s my story. The sad thing is you’ll probably never remember I actually opened up to you and told you about the worst part of my life, about how pathetic I am. I guess I’m kind of grateful, actually, at least you’ll remember the good stuff. I’m sorry, Julius. I’m so sorry.”
I stood and turned to find a sobbing Margie and a furious but sympathetic Kyle standing there. I never heard them come in and I had no idea what they heard, but from the looks on their faces, they heard enough.
Margie walked up to me and said nothing. She just hugged me tight, so tight I could feel the little life in her growing belly move. I jumped back and looked at her in amazement.
“He’s an active little person, isn’t he?”
“He?” I asked.
She smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah, we had an appointment this morning. It’s a boy.”
I hugged her again. “Congratulations.”
“Toni, can we …”
I cut her off, “No, Margie. I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go.” I pulled away and all but ran out of the room and down the hall. I left the hospital as fast as I could. I couldn’t talk to her about what she heard. I needed to get some sleep and I had to get away at least for a little while. Releasing demons was supposed to make me feel better, but I just felt beaten down. If I had trusted him before, maybe …
~oOo~
My ringing phone woke me from my restless sleep. I was exhausted and plagued by nonstop nightmares as I slept. I was forced to relive the moment Julius car went airborne repeatedly as I slept. I reached for my phone, needing to stop its incessant ringing. “Hello,” I said groggily.
“It’s Margie, he’s awake.”
“That’s great,”
I said halfheartedly. It didn’t lift my spirits much to know he was awake. I’d lost him, and I knew it. I couldn’t be what he needed me to be; I’d just hold him back. Instead of returning to the hospital that day, I got into my truck and went back to Mooresville. I just didn’t have it in me to see him, not after I poured my heart out to his sleeping form. I didn’t think I could handle his indifferent acknowledgment of me. I didn’t blame him for being upset but I desperately wished I could change everything.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Julius
Pain, nothing but pain, in my head and my left shoulder. And why couldn’t I move? I felt like I was hung over trying to wake up from an alcohol-induced blackout. I could hear people talking, discussing my head and arm. Was it real or was it a dream?
“He should be waking up soon. He’ll be in and out for a while, but he should be completely awake by this evening.”
“What do we do when he wakes up?” my mother’s voice came through the haze.
“Press the call button. Someone will come in.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
The second time I woke up I heard a different voice. One I could listen to for a lifetime.
“I drove you away. For that, I’m so sorry. So here is the final part of the story. The part that broke me forever—or at least I thought it was forever until you came along. You helped me find my strength because you believed in me. I’m eternally grateful for that.”
I laid there in my sleepy haze listening to Toni’s sweet voice telling me a horrific story of how a girl hit the lowest point in her life and somehow managed to pull herself out of it. The thing she didn’t include was the part where she stole my heart in the process. My muddled head was having a hard time knowing if this was real or a dream, but somewhere inside I knew this was real.
“Todd hit me, forced me to have sex with him. He was mean and vindictive. He constantly told me how fat I was or ugly. He said he kept me around because he wanted me to fix his cars. I tried to leave, I swear I did, but he had this bizarre hold on me that I can’t explain. When I saw him a couple days ago, I freaked out. I could feel how badly he affected me and I hated it. That’s why I drove. I couldn’t face you feeling like that. I couldn’t stand it if you looked at me that way too. But you didn’t. Instead, you helped me. It was then I realized that I’m no good for you. I’ll do nothing but drag you down. I know you won’t remember any of what I just told you and that’s okay. I’ll go on and survive and you’ll be better off without me. I just wish I could have told you how much you mean to me and that it meant everything to me the day you told me you loved me. I’m sorry I was so blinded by my fears. So that’s my story. The sad thing is you’ll probably never remember I actually opened up to you and told you about the worst part of my life and about how pathetic I am. I guess I’m kind of grateful actually, at least you’ll remember the good stuff. I’m sorry, Julius. I’m sorry.” I felt the bed move under her weight. Her lips touched mine gently then she whispered, “I love you.”
I tried to force myself to open my eyes, to move, or something to let her know I could hear her and I was awake. But I still felt oblivion pulling down. The last thing I heard was a stifled sob and muttering about babies.
The third time I woke up I was actually able to force my eyes open and move a little.
“Oh, thank goodness Jules, you’re awake. I have to call a nurse,” my mother said leaning over me. “Are you okay? Can you talk?”
I managed to rasp out one word. “Water.” It hurt to speak and to move. My body ached all over, I felt like I was hit by a freight train. Then some of what happened came back. My argument with Toni. Her begging for forgiveness. Getting t-boned and the world tumbling over and over with the sound of metal crumpling under the force. The race, I was in an accident in the last laps of the race.
People burst into the room pulling a cart with them and carrying other things, probably to see if I was okay.
“My son’s asking for water,” my mother said.
“Jon, can you get Mr. Fuller some water please,” the woman in the white coat asked. She came closer to me and smiled down. “I’m Dr. Santino. How are you feeling, Julius?”
“Pain. My throat … and … my … shoulder,” I rasped again.
Nodding and looking me over, she began asking questions. “What do you remember?”
“Track … accident … rolling down track,” I whispered.
“Yes, Julius. You were in a bad accident. You lost consciousness, but not until you were in the ambulance. You broke your collarbone and have a concussion, but, overall, it could have been far worse if you didn’t have the safety equipment you have. You had to have surgery to repair your collarbone.”
“What day?” I asked. I wanted to know how long I was out of it.
Holding the water to my mouth the nurse smiled down at me while the doctor answered my question. “Today’s Tuesday, Julius. It’s been two days now. You’ve been in and out a few times over the last day. But this seems to be the first time you’ve woken completely.”
I sucked the water down quickly, wanting more to soothe my raw throat.
“We’ll get you some more water in a bit and hopefully some other clear liquids.” Once she was finished checking me over, she stepped back and smiled. “Looks good, Julius. Some bumps and bruises, but no worse for wear. Do you have any more questions?”
“When can I drive again?” I whispered.
“You athletes, it’s all about when you can get back on the field or in your cars,” the doctor laughed. “Depends on your shoulder, but at least four weeks, six would be better. You won’t be able to handle the force it takes to drive until then.”
I groaned and closed my eyes. There goes my fuckin’ championship season again. When was I going to get a break?
“I’ll stop back in a while and check on you. If all goes well, you’ll be out of here and back home in no time.”
All of the hospital staff left the room, making me able to see who was there for the first time. Margie sat in a chair by the wall with Ky hovering over her, a protective hand on her shoulder. My mother sat in the chair closest to me, smiling a relieved smile, and Axel and Kevin were by the door talking and looking over at me. The one person I didn’t see was Toni. I knew I remembered hearing her voice. I was sure of it.
Axel stepped forward with a fatherly smile gracing his face, “Good to see ya awake, boy. You had us all pretty scared.”
“What about the race?” I asked. I could care less about the car or the race at that moment, all I wanted to know was where Toni was.
“Don’t worry about that. We’ll get a backup driver in the car. Just worry about healing.”
“Where’s Toni?” I asked next.
They all looked at each other. Margie stood from her chair and walked over to the bed. “She left, Jules. She was here early this mornin’ and when we got here she said she was goin’ back to the hotel. I called her a while ago to let her know you were awake and I just called again to see where she was. She’s already on her way back to Mooresville.”
“She was here?” I asked. I remembered hearing her talk to me. She told me things, personal things about her past. She told me about Todd.
“Yeah, she was. Do you remember her being here?”
I searched my brain. I wasn’t sure if what I was remembering was real or not. “She talked to me?”
“She did,” Margie said with tears in her eyes. She sat on the edge of my bed and leaned in close to my face so only we could hear our conversation.
“It was bad,” I whispered, painfully. I almost wished I hadn’t pushed her so hard to open up to me. I didn’t remember everything. It was like searching for memories of a dream after being awake. The memories were fuzzy and out of order, but I remembered it was bad. Worse than I could’ve ever imagine.
“Yeah, Jules, it was bad,” Margie said with a tear sliding down her face. “We accidently walked in on her telling you the worst part. It’s no wonder she was
so skittish and afraid.”
“Yeah, no wonder,” I said absently. “I’m tired,” I whispered. “I think I need to sleep.”
“Yeah,” Margie said standing. “You need your rest. Dr. Santino said you should be able to go home tomorrow.”
Ky stepped forward and took Marg’s hand. “We had your trailer taken back to Mooresville with everything else. Looks like you won’t be using it for a while.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m tired.”
“Okay, man,” Kyle said. “We’ll see you later.”
I closed my eyes, no longer willing to acknowledge anyone.
My mother leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You had me so worried,” she whispered. “I don’t know what we would have done if you were hurt worse. I love you, son. Sleep well.”
When she left the room, I knew I was finally alone. I had a lot of decisions to make, starting with what I was going to do with what Toni told me. I’d compared her to Anna. But Anna was completely different from Toni. Anna was secretive and conniving, out for fame, money, and a good time. Toni was secretive, but not because she was trying to be sneaky, she was nervous and guarded. She dealt with a horrific situation that she didn’t want to talk about.
Toni thought that she was pathetic because of what this man did to her. Believed I would think she was weak because she was in that situation. She worried I wouldn’t want her if I knew the horrors she survived. It made me sick to know someone made her feel so bad about herself and he made her believe she was unlovable.
I drifted off to sleep thinking about Toni and what I was going to do to prove to her she was perfect and everything I could ever want.
~oOo~
Two days later I sat on my couch in my house, wishing for some alone time. Since getting home, my mother and Margie hadn’t left my side. What I wanted was to be getting ready to board my plane with Ky to go to Dover. What I wanted was to see Toni again. They had assured me, in spite of Toni not coming around, she hadn’t quit Fuller Enterprises, yet. But I feared that was exactly what she was planning to do. I needed to get to her and talk to her. I needed to see her and tell her it was all okay. That no matter what happened to her; I loved her.
