Relative-ly Speaking

by Karen D. Badger

  "He's with Daddy, Jim and Grandma Jo, looking at the antique cars in the garage. He's quite the connoisseur when it comes to antique vehicles, you know," Bridget bragged.

  "You must be so proud," Amy said, her sarcasm completely lost on Bridget.

  Dylan covered his mouth to hide a grin. "In the garage, you say? Maybe I'll join them. Wanna come?" he asked Joe, who readily accepted. Excusing themselves, they left for the garage.

  Laurel and Ida had been lounging by the pool, listening to the conversation between the sisters.

  "Do they always act like that around each other?" Laurel asked.

  "Since they were children," Ida replied. "Caitlain was the peacemaker in the family...always breaking up fights between those two. Having four girls so close in age was quite a challenge," Ida explained.

  "How old are they now?" Laurel asked.

  Ida creased her brow and looked off into the distance. "Well, let's see, Amy is Billie's age, thirty-four, Bridget is thirty-three, Caitlain is thirty-one, and Drew, well, Drew was a bit of an afterthought...Doc's attempt at having a son. She is almost twenty-seven. They were certainly a handful. Sometimes I wish I had raised boys!" Ida exclaimed.

  "Well, sis, boys aren't any easier. I remember when Dylan was six…" Laurel recounted as the two women sat and exchanged horror stories about raising children that most certainly had to have come from the loins of Satan himself.

  ***

  Cat waved her hand above her head. "Drew! Drew, over here!" she called.

  The cute, pixie-haired blonde smiled broadly, exposing deep dimples, as she too waved her hand above her head, acknowledging her sister. "Cat!" she exclaimed, bending over to hug her sister tightly after she fought her way through the airport crowd.

  "Drew, sweetie, it's so good to see you," Cat said

  Drew stood to her full five-foot-eight height, nearly a half-foot above Cat. "Where's my gorgeous sister-in-law?" Drew asked, looking around for Billie.

  "She's gone to collect your luggage. She'll be back shortly."

  Cat took the chance to really look at her baby sister. Drew was dressed in white short shorts and a navy blue tank top that just barely came below her breasts, showing off very tanned arms, legs and flat stomach. White socks and running shoes completed her outfit. Her hair had been dyed a very light shade of blond, and cut close to her head. "Drew, you look wonderful. I love your hair," she commented.

  Drew's hand immediately went to her hair. "Really? Do you like, think it's too blond? I wasn't sure I liked it at first, but it's like, kinda growing on me," she said.

  Billie retrieved Drew's suitcase from the luggage carousel and headed back to the arrival gate. She spotted her wife and sister-in-law long before they saw her. Billie stopped dead in her tracks.

  Wow! Drew, you have certainly grown up since I saw you last! she thought. If I wasn't so much in love with Cat, well...

  "Billie!" Cat exclaimed, noticing her wife coming toward them.

  Billie smiled at her wife. Nah. Cat's the only one for me. Always has been…always will be. Her heart did flip-flops in her chest while she watched the object of her desire approach her, dragging a very blond Drew behind her.

  Cat stopped abruptly in front of Billie and pushed Drew in front of her. Billie smiled and looked at her sister-in-law. Putting the suitcase on the floor, she opened her arms to the younger woman and hugged her affectionately.

  "Oh, Billie, I've missed you," Drew said, touching the side of Billie's face with her hand.

  Billie leaned down and kissed Drew's cheek. "Me too, little one," Billie replied.

  Cat stood back and smiled at her wife and sister. "Well, we'd better get going. Everyone is anxious to see you, honey," Cat said to her younger sister.

  "So, like, your mom is there, right Billie?" Drew asked on the ride to SpireClyffe Acres.

  "Yes, she is," Billie replied, looking at her sister-in-law in the rear view mirror. "My stepfather and brother are there too," she added.

  "Cool, like, I mean, it must have been a shock to find her after all these years," Drew said lightly.

  "Well, I wouldn't have even started looking if it wasn't for Cat," Billie said, reaching for her wife's hand in the seat next to her. Lifting it to her mouth, she kissed Cat's knuckles.

  Cat closed her eyes as the tender caress shot tendrils of desire through her.

  Drew watched the exchange closely.

  "You two are like, so cute!" she exclaimed, smiling broadly.

  Cat looked back at her sister and smiled, thinking, you're pretty cute yourself, dumpling.

  "We're here!" Billie declared as she pulled up to the front door. Chet came out to take the car as the three ladies went into the house.

  Doc and Ida met their youngest daughter in the front hall.

  "Mom, Daddy!" she exclaimed, hugging them both. Doc grinned ear to ear as Ida eyed Drew's hair color warily.

  "Drewcilla, come here and let me look at you, girl!" Amy said as she barged into the room.

  Amy and Drew took one look at each other and screamed, waving their arms in the air as they ran to each other and met in a fierce hug. Billie had just come into the hall, carrying Drew's luggage. Placing it on the floor near the door, she looked at Cat with a raised eyebrow as she watched the sisters' ritual greeting. Cat placed one hand on her hip, the other on her smiling mouth and shook her head side to side in disbelief.

  "Baby girl, I love what you did to your hair!" Amy exclaimed, reaching up to touch the almost white hair.

  "Ames, do you really like it? I mean, like, I was really afraid I would like, look old or something," Drew said.

  "Sweetheart, you could never look old, why you're just a baby yet. You're all of what, twenty-six?" Amy asked.

  "Almost twenty-seven," Drew replied.

  "Drew?" came another voice from the doorway.

  "Bridgie!" Drew exclaimed as she spotted her other sister. Crossing the room, she hugged her older sister close. "Like, how are you?" she asked.

  "What ever did you do to your hair, Drew?" Bridget asked, eyes wide with wonder.

  "Do you like it? I was kind of tired of the mousy brown. Like, I thought a change would be cool," Drew explained.

  "Mousy brown? Drew, your hair was the same color as mine," Bridget pointed out.

  "Oops! What-ever!" Drew said, daintily covering her mouth with her hand.

  Bridget took another long look. "Well, it does kind of look cute on you," she admitted. "It's shorter than usual, isn't it?" she asked.

  "Yeah, it's called the 'butch' look, no offense sis," she said, throwing a look over her shoulder at Cat.

  "None taken, sweet pea," Cat said to her sister. "Look, your room is the third one on the left. Why don't you take your suitcase upstairs and settle in before meeting the rest of the crew, okay?" Cat suggested. "Oh, and by the way, dinner tonight is formal, Grams insists," she added.

  "Cool!" Drew said, grabbing her suitcase and heading for the stairs.

  "I'll give you a hand, dear," Ida said, following her daughter.

  Billie walked up behind Cat and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. "Well, cheer, cheer, the gang's all here!" she said.

  "Let the games begin!" Cat said grinning.

  CHAPTER 10

  "I know what you're thinking baby. I used to be just like you. You move when she's not looking baby. One sugar ain't enough for you. You, you're taking out your loans, you're burying your bone. Before you're cover's blown, you'd better take it home....." Drew's arms flailed around in circles, her head bobbing forward and back. "I like the way you look. I know you like me. But one and one and one, baby makes three. Stop playing those eyes, if you want me to keep, your little secret..." Drew sang happily along with the radio as she soaked off the exhaustion from her flight earlier in the day.

  "Tell it softly to me baby. You never mean no one no harrrr Aaarrrggghhh!" Drew screamed as the door to the bathroom suddenly swung open.

  "Wh...wh...who are you?" she finally gasped out as her
arms covered her breasts, oblivious to the transparency of the water providing a clear view of the rest of her body.

  "I...I...I...I," the intruder stammered, staring at the blond pixie in the tub.

  "Like, what part of that didn't you understand? Who the hell are you?" Drew yelled again.

  "D...Dylan. I'm Dylan...Billie's brother!" he said, unable to tear his eyes away from the woman.

  Drew suddenly threw her arms out to the sides and smiled widely, totally exposing her charms for Dylan to see. "Way cool! Like, why didn't you say so? I thought you were like, some kind of perv or something. I'm Drew, Cat's youngest sister," she explained, reaching out a soapy hand to shake Dylan's.

  Dylan inched his way toward Drew, trying hard to look anywhere but at her generously firm breasts. He shook her hand then quickly pulled it back.

  "Ah...ah...I...I," he stammered once again, inching his way toward the door.

  Drew lay back in the tub, giving Dylan a full frontal view.

  "Ah, Drew, I'm sorry I burst in on you. I'll just..." he began, pointing to the door.

  "No! I mean, I don't mind. Have a seat. I'm done anyway. Just getting out!" she said as she began to pull herself up out of the tub.

  "Ah, Drew, I've really got to go." Cat will kill me if she finds out I walked in on her naked sister! Dylan thought as he beat a hasty retreat out of the bathroom. When he finally made it into the hall and closed the door behind him, he leaned against the wall to regain his composure. Wow, what a babe! I wonder if she's gay too? She sure didn't mind being seen naked by a man! This is going to be an interesting week! he thought as he went on very shaky legs in search of another bathroom.

  He was like, kind of cute, Drew thought as she toweled herself dry. He doesn't look anything like Billie. I wonder if he looks like Billie's Mom? Hmmm, blonde, curly hair. Hey, like, the color was almost as light as mine. Cool! Dimples, too. He was like, kinda sweet the way he was so embarrassed about walking in on me. Way cool! This is like, gonna be a real fun week! she mused as she flipped her head from side to side, then pulled a robe over her freshly bathed body combing her short blond hair with her fingers.

  ***

  "Sky, honey, hold still while I brush your hair," Cat complained as she put the finishing touches on the child's formal wear for dinner that night. She was wearing a knee-length flower print sun dress, with spaghetti straps, white ankle socks with lace around the top, and shiny patent leather shoes.

  Skylar fidgeted while her mother primped her. Looking down at the shiny patent leather, she exclaimed, "Mama! I can see my undies in my shoes!"

  "Wha...?" Cat exclaimed, looking down. Sure enough, Skylar's white panties were reflecting onto her shoes.

  Billie chucked nearby. "Boy, does that bring back memories!" she exclaimed.

  Cat raised an eyebrow to her. "Wanna share?" she asked, imagining all kinds of things relative to her wife, undies and patent leather shoes.

  "Catholic school," she said.

  "Ah, Billie, a little more information would be helpful," Cat said grinning at the obvious teasing.

  "Dress code. We all wore uniforms with the hems below our knees, and no patent leather shoes. For that very reason," Billie explained, pointing to Skylar's shoes. "The nuns were terrified that reflections of our undies would turn the boys on or something," she said, chuckling at the memory.

  Cat's eyes flew open in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?" she asked. "For real?"

  "Scout's honor," Billie said, raising her hand. "We couldn't walk on the railing side of the stairwells either because the boys might look up our dresses from the level below," she added.

  Cat was dumbfounded by the revelations. "Billie, I'm so glad we decided to leave our children in the public school system," she said. "Imagine the message rules like that send to children," she commented.

  "Well, the public schools leave a lot to be desired too, but at least they leave the warped moral ideas out of their lesson plans," Billie said.

  Cat nodded in agreement as her attention was drawn to the doorway of their room.

  "Tara, sweetheart, you have to get dressed for dinner or we'll be late. You know Grams wants everyone there on time," Cat said.

  "I am dressed for dinner," Tara said, holding her arms out to the sides.

  Cat and Billie looked at each other and then at their daughter. Tara was wearing a pair of oversized blue jeans, the crotch of which came to her knees, causing the pant legs to accumulate in multiple folds around her sneaker-clad feet. A T-shirt three sizes too large hung loosely on her torso, while a baseball cap sat on her head backward.

  "Tara, where did you get those clothes?" Billie asked.

  "From Crystal," she said, referring to Amy's older daughter. "Aren't they cool?" she exclaimed happily.

  Billie approached the young lady. "Very cool," she said, "but not suitable for a formal dinner. Come on, I'll help you get dressed," she said, placing a hand on Tara's shoulder and directing her out of the room.

  "But Mom, Crystal and Heidi are both dressing like this!" she exclaimed, referring to Bridget's oldest daughter as well.

  Billie leaned over to look directly at Tara. "Look, sweetheart. Grams is looking forward to a nice formal dinner. We are not going to spoil it for her by dressing in these very cool, but very informal clothes. Okay? I will talk to Crystal and Heidi as well. Somehow, I don't think Aunt Amy and Aunt Bridget will like it very much either. Okay? Now let's go," she finished, taking Tara's hand and leading her out the door.

  Cat shook her head side to side as she watched her wife lead their daughter away.

  "Is Tare in trouble, Mama?" Skylar asked?

  Cat smiled down at her daughter. "No, sweetling. Mommy is just going to set things straight with your sister and cousins. Somehow, I don't think Aunt Billie will be very popular for the next several hours," she said, chuckling.

  Nearly an hour later, Billie reappeared in the doorway to their bedroom. Cat had just showered and was sitting at the vanity, blow-drying her long red-gold hair. She looked into the mirror and met Billie's eyes. "Mission accomplished?" she asked.

  Billie grinned. "I won't be the most popular aunt at dinner tonight, but, yeah, mission accomplished," she said, coming up behind Cat. "You won't believe what they were going to wear," she exclaimed through slight laughter. "I think I got a little preview of what Tara will be like at age fourteen," she said, referring to the stubborn nature of Amy's daughter Crystal.

  "Well, love, we're running short on time. You'd better jump into the shower," Cat said, locking eyes in the mirror with the woman behind her.

  Billie kissed the side of her head. "You're right. Be right back!" she said, heading to the shower.

  Towel drying her hair moments later, Billie suddenly remembered that she hadn't taken her gown out of the dress bag. Shit! It's going to be all wrinkled! she thought. "Cat," she yelled out into the adjoining bedroom. "Honey, did you think to take my dress out of..." she began.

  Cat suddenly appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. "Yes, I did. It was all wrinkled, like mine was, so I had them both ironed. It's hanging in the cl...," Cat said, stopping short when she noticed Billie staring at her intently. She immediately thought she had something on her. Looking down at her dress, she didn't notice any stains or anything. "Billie?" she questioned.

  "Cat, you are the most beautiful creature I have every laid eyes on," she said, taking in Cat's form-fitting green satin gown, and hair that had been pulled up and arranged into a loose fitting bun on top of her head, tendrils of hair curling freely along her hairline. Cat had added just a touch of blush and eye color to bring out the emerald green brilliance of her eyes.

  Billie was captivated. Taking two steps forward, she was met by a hand on her chest.

  "Billie, you're wet," Cat said seductively. "Now we both know I thoroughly enjoy it when you're wet…God knows I do. But water stains on satin will not look good at a formal dinner party," she explained teasingly.

  Billie's breathing was very errat
ic. Taking a deep breath, she pulled Cat's face toward hers with a hand behind her neck, being very careful not to let her wet body come in contact with Cat's dress. "You are in big trouble, after dinner, wife," she said passionately into Cat's ear.

  "Oh, I'm counting on it," Cat replied, catching Billie's earlobe between her teeth and biting gently, causing Billie to nearly double over with weakness. "I'd better leave you alone or we'll be late," she whispered, flicking Billie's earlobe once more before leaving her alone in the bathroom.

  ***

  "Uncle Dyl, could you give me a hand with this tie?" Seth asked, struggling to fold the bow properly.

  "Sure, pal," Dylan said as he folded one side of the bow in half, then wrapped the other end around the center, tucking it into the knot, then pulling it into a neat, even bow under Seth's chin. "These monkey suits sure are uncomfortable," he added as he brushed the lint off Seth's shoulders then spun him around to brush off his back. Holding him at arms' length, he said, "You look great, Seth. Are you sure you're only thirteen?" he asked. "You look at least eighteen."

  Seth smiled from ear to ear. "Thanks Uncle Dyl. You look kinda neat yourself," he said.

  Dylan turned back to the mirror to finish adjusting his own tie. Catching Seth's eye, he asked, "Seth, have you seen your Aunt Drew lately?"

  "Sure, I saw her earlier today, just after she got here," he replied.

  "What do you think of her?" Dylan asked.

  "What do you mean...she's a girl!" Seth answered.

  Dylan chuckled, suddenly remembering his own marginal interest in girls at that age. "Oh yeah, you got that right!" he exclaimed. "But, what do you think? Do you think she's pretty?" Dylan inquired. Damn, I wish there was someone else here closer to my age who wasn't so close to the issue. Joe and Kevin are a little biased, and Doc, well, I can't say, 'Hey Doc, I've got the hots for your daughter ... waddaya think?'. Maybe Billie? Yeah, I'll talk to her later, he decided as he turned his attention back to Seth.