Relative-ly Speaking

by Karen D. Badger

  Knowing a victory when she saw one, albeit a small one, she quickly obtained their signatures, then spent the next hour preparing the documentation to make the coverage official, faxing it to the insurance company's main office just shortly before leaving for home at one-forty-five a.m.

  After downing her last gulp of milk, she stood there, staring at the floor in tired contemplation.

  No, Cat is not right, she said to herself. This promotion is definitely worth it. It feels good to make a difference in someone's life, she thought as she snapped herself back to consciousness, rinsed out her glass and placed it in the dishwasher.

  Heading upstairs to bed, Billie stopped at each of the kid's rooms and tucked them in, placing light kisses on their cheeks. Tears of love and tenderness misted her eyes as she stood there taking in the beauty and joy of her children.

  She couldn't help but put herself in her client's shoes tonight. She knew how helpless and fragile she had felt when Skylar was so sick, and when Seth was in the hospital at such a young age, lying helplessly in a coma for months. Just as she was thinking how glad she was that Art had chosen her for this case, the realization hit her that he had chosen for her for the very reason that she could put herself in the client's shoes.

  "You sly dog, Art!" Billie whispered to herself as she left Skylar's room and headed for her own.

  Billie slowly pushed the door open, and stepped inside. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see Cat's form on the bed beneath the blankets. She was sleeping on her right side, arm tucked up under her pillow, left leg bent at the knee. Her long red-gold hair was in wild disarray across the pillow.

  Billie made her way across the carpeted floor and into the bathroom to brush her teeth and slip her nightshirt on without disturbing Cat. Moments later, she slipped in behind her sleeping wife and spooned her long frame around her, draping an arm across Cat's stomach and drawing her in close. Placing her lips close to Cat's ear, she whispered "I love you, Kitten," then laid her own head down, only to fall almost instantly into a deep sleep.

  Cat waited until she heard even breathing coming from the woman behind her before she released the tension she had been holding when she first heard Billie enter their room.

  She had been lying awake for several hours, not able to sleep, and wondering what was keeping Billie. All sorts of worrisome thoughts ran through her mind, from Billie cheating on her, to her lying dead in a ditch somewhere.

  She heard Billie come home about a half-hour ago. She heard the car door slam, the creaking hinges on the kitchen door, Billie's cursing at the noise, sounds of her wife moving about the kitchen as she made a late night snack. All were signs that Billie was home and that she was safe. All were signs that should have prompted Cat to relax, but to no avail. All she knew was that she was mad as hell that Billie had missed the dinner and that she didn't have the decency to even call her when she realized she wasn't going to make it.

  Several moments later, as she still lay awake, a nagging thought lingered in her mind.

  I am not jealous!

  Finally, forcing herself to relax, she allowed sleep to claim her as she joined her wife in dreamland.

  CHAPTER 18

  Cat passed through the living room while glancing briefly at Skylar who was snuggled on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons with Petey her favorite teddy bear.

  "Good morning, sweet pea."

  "'Morning, Mama. I'm hungry," Sky answered, as she watched her mother disappear into the kitchen before turning her attention back to Bugs Bunny.

  Cat grinned. "Of course you are, my love. Of course you are," Cat said. "How about Lucky Charms?" she called from the kitchen as she set the coffee pot up to brew.

  "Okay," Skylar answered. "Can I eat in here?" she asked.

  Cat hesitated for a moment before answering. She preferred to have meals at the kitchen table as a family, however, since she and Sky were usually the only ones up at this time of the morning, she relented. "Sure, sweetie," she said. "Go ahead and set up a TV tray. I'll bring your cereal in a minute."

  Moments later, she carried a tray into the living room, laden with cereal, orange juice and coffee which she placed on the TV tray.

  "Here you go, love bug," Cat said.

  She grabbed her coffee from the tray and settled into the overstuffed chair with her legs curled under her.

  "Good morning," a velvety voice said from the stairway.

  Cat looked up to see Billie take the last two steps into the living room, sleep still apparent on her beautiful face.

  "It's a little early for you, isn't it?" Cat asked sarcastically.

  Billie frowned. Shit! she thought. I was hoping she'd be in a good mood this morning. She decided to ignore the sarcasm while turning her attention to her daughter. "Good morning, rugrat," she said, kissing Skylar on the head.

  "Morning, Mommy. Want some Lucky Charms?" Skylar asked, lifting a spoonful to Billie's mouth.

  "Sure," Billie said enthusiastically as she ate the food offered to her. "Thanks, dumpling."

  "Want more?" Skylar asked, offering her another spoonful.

  "No thanks, sweetheart. Mommy needs coffee right now," she replied. She stood to her full height and looked across the room at Cat, who was pointedly ignoring her in favor of watching Bugs Bunny on the big-screen TV.

  She looked back at Skylar. "How about I get a cup and come watch Bugs with you?"

  Skylar's face lit up. "Sure," she replied. "We can all watch Bugs Bunny."

  Moments later, Billie returned to the living room and sat on the couch next to Sky. No sooner had she sat down, than Cat rose to her feet.

  "I think I'll take my shower now," she announced, heading to the kitchen to discard her coffee cup before heading up the stairs.

  Billie watched her go, a slow indignant anger building in her chest. She tried very hard not to follow her, wanting Cat to think she was immune to her cold treatment, but after several moments, it became too much for her to bear. She placed a kiss on the Skylar's cheek. "I think I'll go take my shower too," she explained before heading to the stairs.

  Billie pushed the bathroom door open and leaned against the frame with her arms crossed. "Wanna tell me what the pissy-ass attitude is all about this morning, Cat?" she asked.

  Cat ignored her for several moments. Finally, she reached forward to shut off the faucet then slid the shower door open just far enough to reach the towel hanging on the hook. After completely covering herself with the towel, she stepped out of the shower and toweled herself dry, all while avoiding eye contact with Billie.

  "Well?" Billie asked impatiently.

  "Well what?" Cat replied, as she dried her legs, still avoiding Billie's eyes.

  "Don't play games with me, Cat. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

  Cat hung the damp towel on the hook and looked at her wife, but said nothing before proceeding to leave the bathroom. Billie took one step to her right and blocked Cat's exit.

  "Talk to me, Cat."

  Cat put her hands on her hips and looked directly into Billie's eyes. "What is there to say, Billie?"

  "There's plenty to say, like an explanation for the cold shoulder this morning," she replied.

  "You want an explanation? All right, I'll give you one." Cat started to pace. "How about asking me how the dinner went last night? How about explaining why you couldn't call me when you knew you wouldn't make it? How about letting me know where you were and what time you'd be home so I wouldn't worry that you were lying dead on the side of the road somewhere? For Christ's sake, Billie. Is your damned job so important that you don't give the kids and me a second thought once you've walked out the door?" Cat asked.

  Billie didn't know what to say. Cat was right. She had been so absorbed in what she was doing last night that she really didn't think about her family at all.

  "Will you please let me out of the bathroom, now?" Cat said, exasperated.

  Billie lowered her gaze to the floor and stood aside, letting C
at pass into the bedroom. Cat went directly to her bureau and proceeded to dress herself while Billie struggled to come up with an excuse for her neglectful behavior the night before.

  When Cat finished dressing, she looked at Billie. "Well? Do I get an explanation as to why you didn't come home until two this morning?" she asked.

  "So you were awake," Billie said.

  Cat walked toward Billie and stopped within inches of her face. "Yes, I was, but I was so angry with you by then, I didn't dare say a word. Neither of us needed a knock-down dragged out fight in the middle of the night," she explained.

  Billie cast her gaze toward the floor once more. "You're right," she said. "I'm sorry."

  Once again, Cat's hands went to her hips. "So that's it?" she asked incredulously. "You're sorry? That's it? No explanation?"

  Billie thought back to how she was feeling last night after her victory...after acknowledging that through her hard work and efforts, a little girl would have the best possible care for a potentially life-threatening disease. She thought back to how proud she was that she was able to help, and she thought about how helpless she felt when her own child was in the same situation and she was unable to do anything about it.

  Sudden indignation filled her mind as she raised her gaze to meet Cat's.

  "Cat," she began. "You almost succeeded. You almost had me regretting that I worked my ass off for nine hours last night to guarantee a very ill child the proper medical treatment so that she could live to see her next birthday. I'm sorry that I didn't think to call. For that, I take full blame, but I'll be damned if I'll let you make me feel guilty about doing my job."

  Billie was so angry, all she could do was sputter as she paced.

  Cat suddenly felt two inches tall. Watching Billie pace back and forth, she realized that she had jumped to conclusions. The only other time Cat has seen Billie this angry was when she discovered her ex-husband Brian had broken into the house and had brutally beaten and raped Cat.

  "Billie?" Cat said softly.

  Billie ignored her as she continued to pace back and forth.

  "Billie, I'm sorry," she tried again.

  Billie stopped and looked directly at her wife. "Why, Cat? Why has my job been such a problem for you lately? If it were you who had to work late, I would totally understand. I would be supportive, Cat, not suspicious and controlling. Christ, it's almost as if you're jealous of my promotion," she charged.

  Cat's eyes flew open as Billie mirrored her father's sentiments from the night before. Tears filled her eyes as she looked away.

  "Mama? Mommy? Are you fighting?"

  Cat and Billie both swung around sharply to face the door. "Sky, honey, no, we're not fighting. We're just having a discussion, sweetheart," Cat said as she dropped to her knees to take her daughter into her arms.

  From the safety of Cat's arms, Skylar looked up at Billie, looking for confirmation, and finding it in Billie's assurance that things were fine.

  Cat rose to her feet and tilted Skylar's chin upward. "Hey, how about you and I watch cartoons while Mommy takes her shower?" she asked.

  Sky nodded vigorously, dragging her mother toward the door. Glancing back over her shoulder, Cat was dismayed by the look of hurt on Billie's lovely face. She would have to find some way to make it up to her, but somehow, she didn't think Billie would forgive her so easily. Heaven knew she wouldn't if she were in her shoes.

  ***

  Billie stood under the hot spray with her hands braced on the wall below the shower head. Though the temperature of the water was tingeing her skin a rosy red, she didn't feel a thing as her full attention was focused on the turmoil raging in her head. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why Cat was so angry lately. Ever since her promotion, she had been snippy, short-tempered, sarcastic and generally impatient where she was concerned. At least she wasn't turning her anger on the children.

  I need to stop second-guessing her and confront her directly, Billie decided as she shut off the faucet. But I need to wait until the kids are out of the house, or sleeping. The last thing we need to do is needlessly upset them.

  Billie sighed deeply. With a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, she resigned herself to giving up her job if it meant saving her marriage. I hate to do it. I've worked so hard to get where I am, but I love Cat even more. The nagging feeling at the back of her mind protested this decision, but her resolve won out as she took a deep breath and slid the shower door open.

  Billie stared blankly at the wall as she dried her skin. In a daze, she walked slowly into the bedroom and fished a pair of jean shorts and a T-shirt out of her dresser. After dressing, she sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor.

  I really don't want to go downstairs and confront Cat. Skylar is already concerned that we're fighting. I need to get out of the house for a while. I need to talk to someone about this…preferably someone who wouldn't choose sides.

  Billie's head suddenly snapped up. "Jen," she said into the empty room.

  ***

  "Billie, where are you going?" Cat asked as Billie hurried down the stairs and through the living room.

  "Out," she replied, not stopping to explain herself. "I'll be back this afternoon," she added, passing through the kitchen and out the back door just as Cat made it to her feet and rushed into the kitchen after her wife.

  "Billie," Cat called after her. "Damn it, Billie," she said, realizing Billie couldn't hear her as she backed the car out of the driveway.

  "Mama, is something wrong? Where did Mommy go?" Skylar asked from the doorway, Petey clutched tightly in her arms.

  Cat turned to her daughter and saw the worry etched on her face. She forced a smile onto her face and dropped to one knee in front of her. She rubbed Skylar's arm. "Nothing is wrong, honey. Mommy just had to go out for a while. She'll be back. I promise," she said.

  "She isn't gonna go live with Uncle Art again, is she?" Skylar asked, her bottom lip quivering.

  Cat was aghast. She didn't realize how traumatic it had been for Skylar when Billie moved out during the child's illness over a year ago. It was such a tumultuous time. In many ways, Skylar's illness was almost as hard on them and their relationship as it was on her. The tension, hurt and anger that passed between them was almost palpable. It took a lot of love, tenderness and forgiveness to heal the wounds and rebuild a loving relationship …a chore both women were devoted to. And they had succeeded, or at least Cat thought they had. The past year was one of the best she could remember. Skylar was healthy, the children had all done well in school, Billie had been made a partner in her law firm. Cat stopped cold as a wave a sickness passed through her stomach at the thought.

  Cat brushed the feeling aside and looked once more at Skylar, who was still standing there, looking for assurance from her mother that her beloved Mommy would be coming home again. She took the child into her arms, and sat on the floor with her, holding Skylar in the circle of her arms.

  "Mommy will be back, my love. I promise. She's just gone out for a while. You just wait and see. She'll be back. I promise."

  ***

  "Jen, I just don't get it. She's been so edgy and combative for the past several weeks. I just don't know what to do," Billie complained as she sat opposite her friend in the coffee shop.

  Before leaving home so abruptly that morning, she called Jen and arranged to pick her up and go out for coffee. For the past half hour, Billie had explained her predicament to Jen.

  "Maybe it's the tension from the wedding. Heck, I don't know. All I do know is that it's causing a hell of a lot of strain between us, and it's gotta be affecting the kids."

  "So, when exactly did it all start?" Jen asked. "Have you seen any pattern to it?"

  "I don't know if I can put an exact date on it, but it's been about a month. As far as a pattern is concerned, I'm beginning to wonder if it's my job. I mean, she throws the partnership in my face quite a lot," Billie explained.

  Jen sipped her coffee, nodding in understanding. "An
d what prompts the slams?" she asked.

  Billie looked confused. "What do you mean?"

  "Well, what was happening at the time that caused her to attack your job?" Jen clarified.

  Billie looked embarrassed. "You want an honest answer?" she asked.

  Jen placed her cup on the table and looked pointedly at her friend. "Of course," she replied.

  "She attacks my job most often when I'm late coming home, or just after I've canceled a date with her because of it."

  Jen reached across the table and knocked on Billie's forehead. "Hello. Is anybody home?" she teased. "Jesus, Billie. I can understand why she'd be upset. How often does this happen?" Jen asked.

  "Since the promotion? Let's see…canceled three dates, home late a half-dozen times," Billie confessed.

  "So let me get this straight," Jen said, sitting back in her chair. "One month, twenty working days, nine of those days either late or canceled. Billie, that's nearly fifty percent of the time! No wonder she's pissed!"

  Billie sat staring at her hands folded in front of her on the table. Long moments passed before she took a deep breath and looked at her friend.

  "I never thought of it that way, Jen. You're right. That's a pretty bad track record," Billie said sadly.

  Jen covered Billie's hands with her own. "So the question is, what are you going to do about it?"

  Billie sat back and covered her face with her hands. She rubbed hard then dropped her hands back onto the table and looked at Jen. "It makes me sick to even think about this, but I guess I'll have to give up the partnership," she replied.

  "You would do that?" Jen asked.

  "Jen, Cat and the kids are my life. No job, and no amount of money on the face of this earth would be worth losing them for. So, yes. I would do that," Billie explained passionately, a tear escaping the corner of her eye.