Relative-ly Speaking

by Karen D. Badger

  Alexandra glanced at Jo, who was busy helping Jen rescue the burgers and hot dogs from the grill. A look of starry-eyed longing filled her eyes as she sighed deeply. Without removing her eyes from the scene, she recalled her first meeting with Josephine Wycliffe. "Jo and I have known each other for fifty years. We first met when I traveled to Viet Nam to help her decipher military code during the war. You see, I am a trained interpreter," she explained, moving her eyes from the grill to Chet's face.

  "I sense there is so much more to your story. Please go on," Chet urged.

  Alexandra looked at him and smiled. "Well, you are certainly right on that count. So, where was I? Oh yes, our first meeting. Well, Josie wasn't really interested in my help at first. She saw me as a helpless southern belle. Can you imagine? Anyway, to make a long story short, I helped her decipher the code and as the result of our work, we were able to supply key strategic information to the military that helped US forces avoid ambushes," she finished.

  Chet sat back in his chair and furrowed his brow in thought. "Spirakis...Spirakis...Wycliffe. Wait a minute…Alexandra Spirakis and Josephine Wycliffe? Of course!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I remember archiving several newspapers and letters shortly after the Vietnamese war that detailed your accomplishments. Well, I am certainly impressed, and quite honored to be in the presence of such distinguished women," he concluded excitedly.

  Now it was Alex's turn to be surprised. "I'm sorry, Mr. McAllister, but how is it that you were privy to those documents?" she asked.

  "Please dear lady, I beg of you, call me Chet, and I was privy to the documents because at the time, I was the curator of the Museum of Modern History in Augusta, Georgia," he explained.

  "Well I'll be," Alex said in wide-eyed wonderment. "Josie, Josie, darlin' come here and meet Mr. McAllister," she said loudly, motioning for Jo to join them as soon as she had the other woman's attention.

  Jo cast Billie a suspicious look as she handed the plate of charred meat over to her and shoved her fedora down onto her head before sauntering over to Alex and her gentleman caller. Coming to a stop in front of Alex, she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Chet, trying hard to intimidate him.

  "Oh Josie, stop that and come be sociable," Alex scolded. "I want you to meet Chet McAllister. Chet, this is the acclaimed historian, and my partner of fifty years, Josephine Wycliffe," she said, making the introductions.

  Chet rose to his feet and once more, extended his hand to Jo. "I have already had the pleasure of making your acquaintance madam, but that was before I realized just who you were, and the significance of your work to the history of this great country. You are known throughout the industry as a brilliant historian. It is an honor to meet you," he said, shaking Jo's hand vigorously.

  Jo didn't know whether to beam under his praise, or punch him out for flirting with Alex. As it turned out, she didn't have the chance to do either as Jen came back to collect her father.

  "I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I'm not being a very good hostess, dropping my father on you like that, but the burgers were in serious trouble and in dire need of rescuing," Jen explained. "So, I assume the introductions have been made?" she asked.

  "Jen, you didn't tell me there would be such distinguished guests at this cookout. Do you know who these ladies are?" Chet asked, referring to both Alex and Jo, but obviously directing his attention to Alex alone—a fact not lost on Jen or Jo.

  "Well of course I do, Pops. They are the grandmothers of my very dear friends Cat and Billie. The fact that they also happen to be famous in the world of history was one of the reasons I asked you to visit. I knew you'd have so much in common with these wonderful ladies," Jen confessed.

  "You, my dear, are quite a sneak," Chet laughingly scolded his daughter.

  "It runs in the family, Pops. Where do you think I got it from?" Jen teased. "So, is anyone hungry?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject.

  At the mention of food, Chet turned to a still sitting Alex and extended his hand. "May I have the honor of escorting you to lunch, dear lady?" he asked.

  Alex smiled from ear to ear as she took his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. "Well of course, fine sir," she replied, slipping her hand into Chet's arm, feeling very much like a pampered southern belle. Looking over her shoulder, she added, "Josie, darlin', will you join us?"

  "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm right behind you," Jo said gruffly as she followed Alex walking arm in arm with Chet toward the picnic table.

  CHAPTER 22

  "So when's the party?" Billie asked while transposing notes into her laptop at the desk in the corner of their bedroom.

  Cat looked up from the book she was reading while snuggled in warmly under the covers of their bed. "Party?" she questioned.

  "Yeah, you know, the bachelorette party. Aren't the female members of the wedding party supposed to give the bride a party before the wedding just like the guys do?" Billie explained.

  "You know, you're right," Cat replied, putting the book she was reading face down on the nightstand. "The wedding is just two weeks away. We'd better get busy with the plans."

  "Well, we should have plenty of help. There's Amy and Bridget, you and I, and both our moms. I'm sure they'll be all glad to pitch in," Billie pointed out.

  "Where should we have it?" Cat asked.

  "I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a surprise, so I guess we'll have to have it here and invent some reason to have Drew come over. Maybe Dylan can give us a hand with that part," Billie suggested.

  "Good idea," Cat said, reaching for the pad of paper next to the phone on the nightstand. "Now let's see…who to invite," she contemplated, tapping the pen against her chin.

  "Well, the bridesmaids for sure, maid of honor, mothers of the bride and groom. I guess grandmas Alex and Jo should be invited, Jen, and maybe Tara and Skylar and the other nieces," Billie listed.

  "Before we decide on the children, we need to decide what type of party we're going to have. I mean, if it turns out to be a little raunchy, we're not going to want the kids there," Cat explained.

  Billie grinned at the thought. "I guess you're right," she said. "I do kind of like the idea of making it a little risqué," she added. "Maybe we should talk to Jen about having the kids do a sleepover at her house that night. I'm sure she won't mind, seeing as she'll be here with us! Fred's a big boy. He can handle a few kids for one night. Whaddaya think?" she asked, eyebrows bobbing up and down on her forehead.

  Cat smiled broadly. "I think you are an evil woman, my love," Cat replied.

  "Me—evil?" Billie asked innocently.

  "Oh, yeah!" Cat replied. "My very own sexy devil."

  Closing the cover of her laptop, Billie turned in her seat to face Cat. "Devils are supposed to be naughty, aren't they?" she asked in a sultry voice.

  Cat's eye widened as Billie intentionally dropped her voice into that low sexy octave she loved so much. "Very naughty," Cat replied, throwing the covers off in an open invitation.

  Billie's eyebrows jumped even higher on her forehead. "I sometimes wonder who the naughty one really is, dear heart," Billie remarked as she rose to her feet. Crossing her arms in front of her, she grabbed the tails of her shirt, and very slowly and deliberately lifted it over her stomach...over her breasts, and finally, over her head. Holding it out to the side, she unceremoniously dropped it to the floor, a look of pure mischief filling her eyes.

  Without breaking eye contact with Cat, she began to run her hands up and down her abdomen, over her bare stomach, across her breasts, tracing the trail once followed by the removal of her shirt. Cat sat helplessly on the bed, watching her wife sway seductively and loving every minute of it as Billie reached behind and unhooked her bra, allowing it to follow the shirt's path to the floor.

  Billie's hands slowly made their way back down, stopping briefly to cup full breasts and quickly squeeze erect nipples, causing Cat to gasp in anticipation from her position on the bed. Slowly the hands moved, down across her stomach and back and
forth across her abdomen, until finally, her fingertips slipped inside the waistband of her denim shorts, disappearing behind the coarse blue material. Cat's eyes were glued to her wife, pleading silently for those long slim fingers to work their magic and remove the clothing that was covering her treasures.

  Billie tilted her head back and closed her eyes as her tongue snaked across her lips and her hands drove deeper, hips swaying to the sultry music that could only be heard in her mind. Cat was squirming helplessly as she watched her wife pleasure herself beneath the denim material, wishing with every fiber of her being that it was her hands administering to the beauty in front of her.

  "Billie, come here," Cat pleaded, reaching out with both hands as Billie slowly removed her hands and brought them to her lips. "Oh, my, God!" Cat exclaimed, suddenly climbing to her knees and crawling to the end of the bed to where she was within a hand's reach of Billie.

  Cat latched onto Billie's waist with both hands and sat back on her heels, pulling Billie close to her. Wild with passion, Cat buried her face between Billie's breasts, covering the creamy skin with kisses, alternately suckling each nipple as Billie clutched desperately to Cat's head, entwining long fingers in her hair, pulling her closer.

  Billie moaned and tilted her head back, causing her long black tresses to fall to her waist. "Harder. Please, harder," she urged as Cat inhaled one swollen nipple into her mouth and caught it between her teeth, flicking the tender bud with her tongue.

  Billie's body spasmed repeatedly as bolts of desire shot directly from her breasts to her groin. "Cat, I need you," she rasped hoarsely as Cat administered the same torturous treatment to Billie's other breast.

  Cat fumbled like a schoolgirl as she clumsily unzipped Billie's denim shorts. Rising to her knees, the height of the bed put her at eye level with Billie. Flashes of desire jumped between them as Cat slipped her hands into the back of Billie's shorts and roughly cupped the tender mounds, pulling Billie toward her quickly and firmly. Cat squeezed Billie's bottom unmercifully until a small whimper escaped her lips.

  Cat captured Billie's face between her palms. Her breath came in short pants as she fought to control a primal urge to roughly take Billie right on the spot. Not able to resist any longer, she savagely thrust her tongue deep into Billie's mouth.

  A deep growl escaped Cat's throat as she pulled Billie down onto the bed and covered her tall frame with her own, continuing to assault Billie's mouth until a salty tinge of blood invaded her senses. Whether it was her blood or Billie's didn't matter as the coppery taste only served to heighten her desire. Straddling Billie's waist, she pinned her hands to the bed and leaned in close until their noses were a mere hair's-breadth apart.

  "I want you," Cat growled, to which Billie responded by arching her chest skyward and throwing her head to the side to give Cat better access to her neck. Cat wasted no time as she systematically devoured Billie's neck and shoulder, leaving telltale tracks that would surely bruise. With each bite, Billie moaned and squirmed, pressing her abdomen into Cat, encouraging the savage onslaught.

  Making her way across Billie's chest, Cat once more worshipped at Billie's breasts, squeezing and nipping each one in turn, pushing Billie to the precipice of desire.

  "Cat, I need you—now!" Billie pleaded. "Take me. Please."

  Cat lifted her head and looked into Billie's eyes, her nostrils flaring in and out in and effort to control her breathing. Billie reached up with both hands to touch Cat's face, only to find them captured and pinned back to the bed by the red-haired siren.

  "I love you Billie. I want to make love to you. I want to fill you completely. Is that what you want, my love?" Cat asked.

  Billie's breath came in quick pants and she vigorously nodded her approval. "Yes. Cat, please," she begged.

  Cat dropped a tender kiss on Billie's nose before she moved downward once more to spread her eager lover's legs. Billie's hands quickly shot out to rest on Cat's shoulders, urging her forward. Cat had all she could do to control both her actions and her own body's response to Billie's sensual vulnerability as she savored her wife's treasures.

  Billie's loud moans and gyrating hips drove Cat crazy as she reached one shaking hand. Billie's hips immediately left the bed as she accepted the invasion, thrusting herself forward to deepen the penetration.

  "You like that, don't you, my love?" Cat asked seductively.

  "Yes. Harder, Cat. Please!" Billie demanded as she repeatedly pressed herself onto Cat's hand.

  Cat added another finger and increased the intensity and speed of the thrusts, causing Billie to scream out her pleasure.

  Billie's head thrashed from side to side, tears running steadily from the corners of her eyes. Suddenly, she felt as though she would lose consciousness as an explosion started deep within her core and spread through every cell of her being.

  "Oh, my, God! Cat...I'm coming," Billie yelled as Cat finally gave in to her own desire and allowed her orgasm to wash over her while bringing both herself and her lover to fulfillment.

  Moments later, Billie lay wrapped in Cat's arms, both women exhausted physically and emotionally as they savored the afterglow of their love making.

  "Thank you, my love," Cat said, kissing Billie lightly on the forehead.

  Billie looked at Cat, surprised that she was actually thanking her.

  "I should be thanking you, Cat," she replied softly.

  Cat smiled into her wife's face. "No, love. Thank you for trusting me with your vulnerability. I know that's difficult for you," Cat explained.

  "You make that possible for me, Cat. I feel safe in your love," she explained.

  "Always," Cat replied tenderly as Billie snuggled in once more.

  "We still have a party to plan, you know," Billie murmured from her safe haven in Cat's arms, drawing a slight chuckle from Cat.

  ***

  "I think we should hire strippers," Jo suggested as she took a large bite from her buttered toast.

  "My lord, Josie! Must you always live in the gutter?" Alex asked impatiently.

  "Hey! The view's great from down here! And besides, I have lots of fun company too," Jo joked. "So whaddaya say?" she added looking at the ladies seated around the large table in the diner.

  “I say you need to be careful what you say in front of your daughters and granddaughters,” Alex admonished.

  "Nona, don't worry about Mom. You forget, I was raised by her too. I know what she can be like," Ida replied. Ida reached for Jo's hand and grinned mischievously. "Don't ever change Mama, okay?" to which, Jo replied with a grin of her own.

  "So, if we did hire strippers, where would we find them?" Laurel asked.

  "So I guess we've decided that this isn't going to be a nice clean social event," Billie observed, wide eyed with disbelief that her own mother actually seemed excited by the idea.

  "Damn straight, it isn't," exclaimed Amy.

  "Oh, for God's sake, Amy. I vote for a formal tea party, you know, like the southern belles would have...kind of a symbolic send-off for the virgin," Bridget suggested.

  "Oh, please, Bridget! Do you really believe Drew is a virgin? Or Dylan either for that matter?" Amy replied.

  "That is definitely more information than I needed to hear!" Ida piped in.

  "Well, I like the idea. Strippers. Lots of them!" Jo reiterated enthusiastically.

  "You've got my vote," Jen said. "Sweaty bodies, sleek muscles, gyrating hips. Oh, mama!"

  "Have any of you been to a party with strippers before?" Laurel asked. "I mean, do they really take it all off?" she added, somewhat breathlessly.

  "Oh, yeah!" Jo replied knowingly. "They take it off all right…exposing everything...slender waist, firm breasts..."

  "Whoa, wait a minute," Amy interrupted. "Grandma Jo, we're talking about male strippers, not female," she corrected.

  Josephine frowned and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. "You sure know how to ruin a wet dream, granddaughter," she scolded Amy sulkingly.

  "Josephine Wyc
liffe, you really didn't expect the ladies to hire female strippers did you? Did you forget that this party is for your straight granddaughter? My word!" Alex responded.

  "Cat, you're being awfully quiet. What do you think?" Billie asked, drawing the attention of everyone at the table.

  Cat looked at Billie and smiled. "I was just enjoying the exchange. You know, it's not often that we're all together like this. It's funny that when we are, it's to talk about some obscene party!" she replied chuckling. "Anyway, I think the stripper idea is great. I'm not sure Dylan will appreciate having some naked guy shaking his bootie in front of his wife-to-be, but to hell with him if he can't take a joke!" she added, grinning ear to ear.

  "Cat, I like the way you think!" Amy said, giving her sister a high-five.

  "Okay then, it's settled. Here's to glistening, sweaty muscles, doing the hoochie coochie in our faces!" Jen exclaimed, raising her coffee mug for a toast.

  All the ladies except Bridget eagerly raised their coffee mugs to meet Jen's in the air above the table. "To naked sweaty men!" she toasted.

  "To naked sweaty men!" came the reply.

  "And women!" added Josephine.

  ***

  "But, Mom! Why do we have to go to Karissa's house? I wanna stay here with all you guys," Skylar whined.

  "Sorry, rugrat. This party is for the adults. You'll have a good time with your sister and Karissa. Fred is planning to camp out with you guys in the back yard. You'll have a campfire and toast marshmallows and stay up late. It sounds like fun," Billie tried to explain to her daughter.

  "But, Mom! Why can't I stay? Tara can go to Karissa's house by herself," the child insisted.

  "Sky, honey, I explained to you that this party is for the adults," Billie reiterated.

  "But, why?" Skylar persisted.

  "Because there will only be ladies here and you'll be bored. We're pretty much going to sit around and talk about how cute Uncle Dylan is, and we'll drink tea and exchange recipes and listen to Nana and Grandma talk about how Papa and Grandpa can't pick up after themselves...and then we'll talk about doing housework and laundry, then we might have another cup of tea and maybe a piece of cake...and then we'll listen to Grandma gossip about the neighbors, and maybe we'll even play a little bridge. Then the ladies will all go home and go to bed," Billie explained.