Bourne to Love Emma (RED-Stone Operatives Book 1)

by Paxton, MacKenzie K.

  Raven patted my back as she walked around my desk to leave the room. Rio squeezed my shoulder for a second before he followed. I turned and looked at Tex. He’s inscrutable, as always. I heard Raven ask Emma to lock up after them and then the sound of the apartment door closing.

  In a voice I almost don’t recognize myself, I whispered, “I’ve got to fix this for her. It has to end. She can’t get hurt. Either of them.”

  “We’ve got your back, Bourne. We always do. You’ve had my back plenty. Sometimes you just have to ask for help.”

  Huh. I think I told Emma the same thing not too long ago. Damn.

  Chapter 16

  ~Emma~

  I will fully admit that my first impression of Raven was that I was going to slap her silly if she jumped on Jason again. It doesn’t really matter who she is – he’s mine and no one but me gets to jump all over him. After spending a little time with her, though, she seemed nice enough.

  Tex and Rio are just like shades of Jason. Both of them are similarly built, though Tex is a little leaner. They talk alike and seem to think alike. They’re both attractive, too, but not as attractive as Jason. Biased or not, I’m sticking with that conclusion. Rio has a darker edginess to him – almost enough to make me feel uncomfortable with the way he scrutinizes everything and everyone when he walks into a room. Those dark eyes miss nothing. They spent a lot of time watching Raven, too. I wonder if she realizes that….

  A few minutes after Raven and Rio left, Tex came into the kitchen and sat down at the table where Mia was still playing with her pancakes.

  “Would you like some pancakes, Tex?”

  “One thing I learned in the Army, Emma: never turn down a meal. You never know when you’ll have a chance to eat next.”

  “That sounds kind of awful. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to worry about when I’ll eat next and I don’t remember those days fondly.” I slid a plate of pancakes in front of him and handed him the butter and syrup. He took his hat off and hung it on the back of the chair beside him – well out of the reach of the sticky toddler.

  He slathered butter and syrup on them as he said, “well, the Army isn’t a normal life. So your worry about not eating was probably worse than what I went through. Sometimes you’re stuck on a wall or waiting on extraction and it’s suddenly been 24 or 48 hours since you ate last. We don’t always know it’s coming so we can’t necessarily just cram an extra granola bar in our pockets, you know?” He started methodically cutting and eating his pancakes.

  It’s a mesmerizing process and I’ve noticed that Jason eats like this a majority of the time, too, unless we’re talking and he can’t focus on his food. Cut, lift, chew. I swear he chews each bite the same number of times, too. It’s methodical and precise – most likely a product of his time in the military considering that he and Jason are both this way. He notices me watching him and I flush and cut up another pancake for Mia.

  “I think I’d use one of those hundred pockets you guys have on your uniforms to always carry a snack.” I smiled at him and saw he was almost finished with his pancakes already.

  “Would you like more?”

  He smiled and slid his plate forward a few inches. “Naw. I appreciate it, though. Bourne and I need to solidify some plans, so I better get back in there before he takes over my mission and gets me fired.” He stuck his hat back on his head and stood, taking his dishes to the sink and rinsing them.

  “Thanks, Tex.” He set his dishes down and turned to face me, leaning his hips back against the counter top.

  “Sure,” he paused, searching my face for something before he continued. “Bourne’s a good guy, Emma. He cares about you and your baby girl a whole lot. He’s seen a lot of bad stuff out there but he’s choosing to go after something good. A lot of us struggle trying to do that because we never feel like we’re good enough or that we deserve true happiness because of all we’ve seen and done in the world. Whatever happens with you two, try to keep that in mind, okay?” He patted me on the shoulder and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me a little shocked at his psychological explanation.

  Mia dropping her fork and saying “uh-oh” repeatedly finally snapped me out of it and got me moving. I needed to get her cleaned up and settled in the living room so I could tackle the kitchen and get it cleaned up, too.

  As I was wiping Mia down with a wet wipe and changing her out of her pajamas, I kept thinking about what Tex said. I hadn’t ever really considered that Jason could have doubts about his own desirability or worth. I thought his resistance initially was because I was a single mom and he didn’t want to step into a ready-made family. But what if… what if he didn’t think he COULD step into it or that he didn’t deserve one?

  I needed to talk to Heather but I didn’t really have any privacy while we were staying at Jason’s. Of course, he was occupied with Tex right now, so maybe I could call from the bedroom and keep it short.

  I grabbed Mia’s bucket of cars and blocks and headed into the guest room – the farthest I can get from the office – and settled Mia on the floor with her toys.

  Heather answered on the first ring, “Emma? What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m more than okay, Heather. But I wanted to talk to you about something.” I opened my mouth to continue but she interrupted me.

  “You fucked him, didn’t you?!? OH MY GOD, EMMA! It’s about time! How was it? Did he give you multiples? Do you see what I meant about needing the real thing to do what you needed?”

  “HEATHER!” I had to practically yell at her to get her to shut up long enough for me to talk. Holy crap.

  “I did not call you to discuss my sex life – even though I know it is one of your all-time favorite topics of conversation. I called because I wanted advice about something Tex said this morning.”

  “Who the hell is Tex? What have you gotten into, Emma? OH MY GOD, are you fucking two of them at once? Damn! I’ve fantasized about it, but John’s too possessive to share me with another man and I’m not letting some other bitch touch him, so it’s a ‘no go’ here.”

  There was a long pause when she stopped talking this time and I think she finally realized that I’m not calling to giggle over having sex. Even though I will totally want to do that later….

  “Tex works with Jason. I did not sleep with him. Good grief, Heather. He and a couple of other people were over here looking at the computers in Jason’s office and making plans for a mission they’re working on together. ANYWAY. He told me something that I thought maybe you would have some insight on – since you’re engaged to John and he’s an ex-marine.”

  She interjected, “Once a Marine, always a Marine.”

  “Okay.” Random and weird.

  “John would just tell you that there’s no such thing as an ex-Marine or an ex-SEAL or an ex-Ranger.”

  “Please explain whatever it is you’re trying to tell me.”

  “Well, they might not be wearing the uniform anymore, but they are no less the sailor or soldier that they were paid to be. Their job isn’t what made them a Marine or a SEAL or a Ranger – it’s who they are. And they take that with them when they choose another path. It’s a really important distinction to them, especially Special Forces guys. They live and breathe that job and it becomes their whole life – and you can’t change that when you get injured and have to earn a paycheck some other way.”

  “Wow. Okay. I had no idea they felt that way.”

  “It was kind of crazy when John tried to explain it to me, too. It isn’t like the rest of the world and a regular job. And I think that’s why they stick together whether they’re active duty or not.” She paused and, when I didn’t say anything, added, “But tell me what Tex said that made you decide to call me.”

  “Okay. Basically he said that Jason’s seen a lot of bad stuff during his time as a SEAL. He said that seeing things like that can make them feel like they don’t deserve to be happy – like they carry guilt for seeing or doing things while they we
re overseas.”

  “I can see that.”

  “You can? Do you think John feels that way?”

  “Emma, John has been living as a civilian for longer than the other guys who are working for him. I think time heals some of those feelings. He tells me that loving me healed a lot of his emotional scars, too. I used to laugh when he would say something like that, but I think I finally understand what he’s saying.”

  There was a light knock on the bedroom door and Jason peeked inside and saw that I was on the phone. I held up my hand and said, “Hey. I need to go. But…thanks. I really needed to hear all of that. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Love you, Emma. Take care of my favorite niece.”

  “I will. And I love you, too, Heather. Bye.”

  I hung up the phone and tucked it in my pocket before walking into Jason’s arms.

  “Hey,” I whispered, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

  “Hey,” he whispered back, rubbing his hands up and down my back and kissing the tip of my nose.

  “Where’s Tex?”

  “He had to leave to take care of some business. Rio and Raven may be back later today, though. They’re trying to run down some information for me.”

  “I’ll plan on some extras at lunch, then. I have the stuff for beef vegetable soup next door. Does that sound okay?”

  “Have you ever had an MRE? I’ll eat anything you tell me is edible, babe.” He turned toward Mia who was running her car down the stripes on the bedspread like a racetrack. “Mia, wanna piggyback ride?”

  She dropped her car and ran to him and he lifted her high up into the air before settling her on his shoulders.

  “I thought maybe you’d like to get out of this apartment for a little bit and go visit with Carla.”

  “That sounds great. Let me get the stuff for soup and get it started in my crockpot and we can go.”

  “Okay, babe. Whatever you want to do.”

  ~Jason~

  We had only been at Miguel and Carla’s for about half an hour when Rio and Raven knocked at the door.

  “Hey, we need to talk.” Rio looked more serious than I’d seen him in a while. Raven did, too.

  Miguel wasn’t at home and I was reluctant to leave Carla and Emma alone with Mia.

  Raven put her hand on my arm and said, “I’ll stay with them while you talk to Rio.”

  “Are you –“

  “Always. Just like you are.” She’s right. I’m always armed. When I left the Navy, my mom asked me about carrying. Even as a civilian when I wasn’t working for RED-Stone, I never fully relaxed unless I had the ability to protect myself and those around me. I knew it wasn’t rational, but I decided it didn’t have to be. If it worked for me, that was all that mattered.

  “Thanks, Raven.” I walked over to Emma. She and Carla had stopped talking when I answered the door. “Em, I need to go talk to Rio for a few minutes. Raven is going to stay with you until we get back, okay?”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “For now, yes. You all just stay put until we get back and I’ll explain everything then.”

  I turned and followed Rio out the door. Raven locked it after us. We didn’t say a word until we were back in my apartment.

  “We got a lead on him. Couple of kids called the cops when they saw a white dude in dark pants and a hoodie steal a car on the other side of the block from where you were watching him. He busted the driver’s side window, popped the trunk and threw a bunch of shit inside and then fucking hotwired it while the kids were sitting right across the street on the steps of a building.”

  So he has wheels now. Knowing what he put in the trunk would be good, too.

  Rio continued, “Local PD has no suspect for the crime at this point but you know how low a stolen car is on their list of shit to do. But what got me thinking about it all was that the kids described the car as ‘one of those old ones with the really big trunk’ and it made me nervous. He could have stolen anything on that street, apparently, but he picked an older model Taurus.”

  I raised my hand to disagree. “He couldn’t have picked anything. Lots of cars have computers that prevent it from starting without a key inside the car. But I’m sure he had other options, so I get what you’re saying. He could have picked a truck or a compact or something. So he has a plan for the fucking trunk…. Over my dead body, fucker.”

  “Hey. We looked for exterior cameras on the street near where it went down and didn’t find any. There’s a corner grocery that has cameras inside pointed toward the street that might catch it, though. But the plate number is listed as stolen now. If he does anything stupid and gets pulled over, he’s done.”

  “Yeah, but he knows that, too. I can’t count on him making a stupid move. I have to figure out his next move before he does it. We can’t keep chasing him around.”

  “That’s what I’ve been saying about the case we’re working. That’s the story of our lives, Bourne. Outthink the assholes and catch ‘em with their pants down. Hooah?”

  “Hooyah.” I shake my hands out and realize they’ve been fisted since we walked through the doors. “Thanks for going out for me today. I owe you one, man.”

  “Fuck that. Life’s too short to owe anybody. I do what I want, when I want. I felt like helping you out today, so I did. We gotta jet, though. Let’s head back to Raven so we can hook back up with Tex.”

  We made our way back downstairs and said goodbye to Raven and Rio. We ended up eating lunch with Carla – baked ziti with garlic bread – and then Mia fell asleep. It was easier on all of us to just let her sleep while we watched television and chatted. I thought I was doing a pretty good job keeping my tension hidden until Carla went to the restroom and Emma confronted me.

  “What the heck is going on, Jason? What did Rio tell you?”

  “Everything is fine, Emma. Really.”

  “Bullshit.”

  My eyes widened at her language, because she never talks like that. “I had Raven and Rio running down a lead on where Dan was last seen. They found out that he stole a car today and Rio wanted me to know what the police knew about it. That’s all we’ve got right now.”

  Her eyes search my face, looking for the truth in my words or some sign of deception, I guess. Now’s not the time to tell her that I’m trained to keep those signs hidden….

  “Okay. Fine. Promise me you’ll tell me if something changes that puts me or Mia in danger.”

  “Keeping you safe is my highest priority. I promise, Em.”

  Chapter 17

  ~Emma~

  Mia’s nap didn’t last as long as usual. I couldn’t tell if she had a bad dream or if something startled her awake, but she woke up crying and frantic for me to hold her. Once she was calmer, we headed back upstairs to Jason’s apartment. The vegetable beef soup smelled amazing when we walked inside and I turned the crockpot down to ‘keep warm’ so we could enjoy it for dinner in another couple of hours.

  Jason had disappeared into his office as soon as we got back. I changed Mia and we sat down with a couple of her favorite board books by Sandra Boynton. I held out three of them and she picked her favorite “Moo Baa La La La!” We giggled our way through the animal noises and then moved on to read the others. When we were wrapping up, I noticed Jason leaning in the doorway smiling at us. I smiled back as Mia slapped a page and quacked like a duck.

  When Mia saw him sit down by her blocks, she scrambled out of my lap and ran to help him build a tower of blocks so she could knock them down. Soon, he had her making growling noises as she toppled the block tower, pretending to be Godzilla – not that Mia understood that, but it was funny for us.

  “So, how long have you known Tex, Rio and Raven?”

  “I’ve been working at RED-Stone for a little over three years now. Tex was already doing field work for them and we worked together on a couple of missions early on and try to hook up when he’s in town now. Rio and Raven came on not too long after I started. I’ve only worked with Rio once, but we
clicked and he actually has an apartment in the building, so we try to have some guys over for poker night every now and then. He’s a good guy.”

  “And Raven?”

  “Raven almost always works the missions Rio works, so they’re overseas a lot. They’ve been paired up pretty often and they get in a lot of places as a couple without people paying them a lot of attention. She saved our bacon on the mission I was with Rio on – we were about to get cornered in back alleys in… overseas…, and she seriously did this thing with her shirt, tied it under her tits and tucked the sleeves under her bra or some shit and then walked right up to the guys that were behind us and acted like she was out looking for a good time. Dangerous as fuck, but it worked. We were able to get down the right alley and Rio was able to sneak up on the two men while they were distracted and knock ‘em out.”

  I just stared at him for a second. “I bet Rio was pissed that she did that.”

  “Yeah, he was. Wait. Why would you think that? Because it wasn’t part of our plan?”

  “No…. Because Rio has feelings for her.”

  Jason looked at me like I was crazy. “Nah. They’ve worked together for a long time, so they’re good friends, but that’s it. There’s no room for that shit in the field.”

  He’s so convinced of this. But I saw the way Rio’s eyes track Raven. There’s heat in his leonine gaze, his eyes burn just a little more gold when he’s watching her. Hmm.

  “Are you starting to get hungry?” I asked him, letting the topic of Rio and Raven drop for now.

  “I’m getting there, but I can wait if you’re not.”

  “I think I’m going to make some cornbread to go with our soup, but I need to go next door.”

  “Then I guess we all need to go next door. Until this mess with Dan is settled, I’m not leaving you alone.”

  “Well, come on, then.” I stood up to go and he snagged Mia and lifted her up to his shoulders.