Spy

by Julia Sykes

  I want her near me so I can keep her safe. I almost managed to convince myself that it was the only reason I desired her closeness.

  “Ian?” She rested a tentative hand on my shoulder.

  I allowed it for a moment, enjoying the comfort, before I remembered myself and pulled away. I didn’t turn to look at her.

  “I’m going to get some sleep. You should do the same.” I gestured at the twin bed where she would be separated from me. I didn’t think I would be able to bear it if her soft body pressed up against mine in the night. It would be impossible to hide my hard-on. And I didn’t want to encourage her, especially since she seemed determined to kiss me again.

  “Okay.” I could detect a thread of hurt in the word. “I guess you didn’t sleep at all last night. I’m sorry.”

  I couldn’t believe she was apologizing to me yet again. I was the one who couldn’t possibly demonstrate the depth of my regret for the situation I’d put her in.

  “It’s fine.” My voice softened. “I needed to make sure the anarchists didn’t come back for you. They know where you live now. I’m assuming they abducted you when you got back home from the club last night?”

  “Yes.” Her voice shook slightly.

  Fuck. I shouldn’t have reminded her of her ordeal.

  “Get some sleep. I’ll be here for a few more hours.”

  I heard the mattress creak as she obediently laid down and settled beneath the threadbare covers. I did the same, but I didn’t fall asleep. I listened until her breathing turned deep and even. Satisfied that she had drifted off, I finally closed my eyes and allowed my exhaustion to pull me under.

  * * * * *

  A soft whimper woke me. I instantly jerked upright at the sound and looked around sharply, analyzing my surroundings. My gaze fell on Lissa. She was curled up tightly, her delicate body trembling.

  Shit.

  I couldn’t leave her in the throes of a nightmare, especially not when it was my fault. I went to her, sitting down beside her and brushing her sweat-dampened hair back off her brow.

  “Lissa,” I said her name gently. “You’re okay.”

  A small, fearful noise sounded in the back of her throat, and she didn’t open her eyes.

  “Lissa.” My voice held the ring of command this time. “Wake up.” I tugged her hair, not harshly enough to cause her pain, but just enough to rouse her.

  As I’d hoped, she responded to my domineering treatment more readily than tender gestures.

  Her eyes snapped open, and she gasped in air. Remembering that she was a fighter, I grasped both of her wrists to stop her from lashing out blindly. I tried to ignore the lust that stirred in me as I pinned them against the mattress.

  “Calm down,” I ordered. “You’re safe.”

  She blinked rapidly and drew in a shuddering breath. A few seconds later, the fear and confusion cleared from her eyes.

  “Ian?”

  “I’ve got you,” I promised.

  A single tear spilled over, sliding down her bruised cheek. The reminder of the pain they had caused her made my stomach tighten with the beginnings of rage. I quickly smothered it. She needed me to be calm and in control right now. Doing so for her sake made it easier to master myself. It briefly reminded me of the man I used to be. It felt good.

  But I didn’t deserve to feel that way, so I pushed aside my moment of contentment as ruthlessly as I had my fury.

  “Better?” I asked, my voice coming out in a low, emotionless monotone.

  She nodded hesitantly. “Thank you.”

  Having her thank me was almost as unbearable as having her apologize to me. Another sensation I chose to ignore.

  I glanced at the clock. “I have to go,” I lied. In truth, I could stay for another half hour, but I had to get away from her. Prying my fingers from around her wrists, I stood and took several steps back, straightening my sleep-rumpled clothes.

  “I’ll be back in a few hours,” I informed her. “Don’t leave this room, and don’t open the door for anyone. My laptop’s on the desk if you want to get on the internet. Use the guest account.”

  “Okay,” she agreed, her voice small.

  I left without another word, not really knowing what else to say. I locked the door behind me and prayed she followed my orders. She’d proven to be obedient to my commands, but she was also headstrong. I had to trust that she was smart enough to know her life was on the line if she defied me.

  I would keep the men who might hurt her distracted while I left her alone. I hoped their mysterious, more sinister connections wouldn’t notice her existence. I saw no reason for them to do so, though. Not now that I’d convinced Salvation that she was my slave. Their organization would take no further interest in her.

  I hoped.

  * * * * *

  The flash drive weighed heavier in my pocket than its small size should allow. I knew it was just nervous anticipation causing the sensation. I still wasn’t sure how I was going to get to Ernest’s laptop, but I was certain manipulating him was the key. He’d trusted me from the very beginning, and he believed we were friends.

  If only he knew I wanted to murder him for threatening Lissa, he wouldn’t like me so much.

  I covered my loathing with an eager grin and reached out to shake his hand. He returned my smile and pulled me in to clap me on the back.

  “Welcome, brother.”

  “Brother,” I repeated. “I like the sound of that.”

  “You’re one of us now,” Ernest promised me. “You’re family.”

  “That means a lot to me.” I smoothed my elated expression to something more solemn. “After my dad passed and my wife left me, I didn’t think I’d have a family again.”

  Burt interrupted us with a low, scornful snort. He still didn’t trust me. I smiled at him anyway, visibly oblivious to his dislike.

  “It’s good to see you again,” I greeted. Despite his thinned lips, he shook my hand firmly. I was making headway with him.

  Thanks to Lissa.

  The memory of what they’d done to her made my muscles tense with suppressed rage, and I accidentally crushed Burt’s fingers. He winced, then glowered at me. I pulled my hand back and pretended not to notice.

  From where they were seated on the couch, Robby and Leonard tipped their beer cans at me in easy recognition. They weren’t quite as enthusiastic as Ernest, but they didn’t dislike me as much as Burt did. That was something, at least.

  I needed to get them talking to assure them I was “likeminded.” Nothing would unite us like a common hatred.

  I painted on a deep frown. “I could use one of those.” I pointed at their Bud Lights. “It’s a shitty day.”

  All the men instantly fell into matching, malevolent scowls. “I can’t believe they let those fags have the right to marry,” Leonard spat. “It’s disgusting.”

  Robby’s eyes narrowed. “They’ll all burn for it soon.”

  I nodded emphatically. “We’ll make them suffer for their sins. That’s the plan, right? We need to take action, put the fear of God back in them.”

  “The Godless will pay for what they’ve done,” Ernest agreed. “We’ll have what we need soon.” His mouth puckered as though he had a nasty taste on his tongue. “Even if we do have to work with those heretics to do it.”

  “We’ll burn them, too,” Burt asserted. “Once we deploy the weapons, everyone will be made to see they error of their sinful ways. We’ll purify the nation.”

  “Who’s helping us?” I pressed, knowing I was on the verge of finding out the identity of their connections. “And what weapons? What’s the plan?”

  “I like your enthusiasm,” Terry commented from behind me. I turned to see him descending the last few stairs into the basement. “Sorry I’m late.”

  His words were warm, but he shot a hard look at Burt, a clear rebuke.

  Fuck. It seemed Terry wasn’t ready to trust me, either.

  “You didn’t bring your slave with you.” Terry abruptly c
hanged the subject with a seemingly casual remark.

  I tried not to bristle at the mention of Lissa. I didn’t want them thinking about her.

  I managed a shrug. “No. I didn’t think you’d want her here.”

  Terry tilted his chin, assessing me. “I’m interested to see more. I’d like to know how you trained her.”

  “I’m sure our brother will share her with us.”

  This time, I did tense at Burt’s words. His eyes lit up with satisfaction, and I knew he had elicited the reaction he wanted; he was goading me, testing my loyalty.

  It took supreme effort to relax my arms at my sides. “I’m afraid I don’t share.” It was risky to refuse, but there was no way I would put her at their mercy ever again. Just the thought made my stomach turn. “Like I said,” I continued. “She’s my property. I have to handle her carefully. She believes I love her. If I shared her, that illusion would be shattered, and she would be much more difficult to control. I don’t want to beat her too harshly; I like how she looks.”

  A heavy moment of silence passed, so I hurried on to placate them. “I’d be happy to tell you more about how I trained her,” I offered, focusing on Terry. “We could go to Dusk and find you one to keep for yourself, if you want.”

  I’d kill him before I let him near an innocent sub, but I had to bullshit him.

  Terry tilted his chin at me, considering. Finally, he nodded. “I think I’d like that.”

  “We’ll do it, then,” I lied. “I’ll tell you more about how the lifestyle works, and then we can go.”

  “Why not go tonight?”

  “You have to know how to treat them, how to earn their trust and slowly bend them to your will. If you do it right, they aren’t smart enough to realize what you’re doing to them. The mindfuck is half the fun.”

  Terry nodded again, accepting that. “I thought yours must be a stupid cunt. She’s too pretty to have much of a brain. I don’t like women who think they have the right to an opinion.”

  “Breaking them of that notion is satisfying. There’s nothing better than putting a woman in her place.” Bile rose in the back of my throat with every sickening word that left my mouth.

  I don’t have a choice. There’s a bigger picture here.

  I had to change the subject, though, or I would punch the lecherous expression off Terry’s face.

  “That was one of the principles that attracted me to your website,” I redirected to Ernest. “The design and the posts are really inspiring.”

  He gave me a shit-eating grin, soaking up the praise. A slightly worshipful light had stirred in his eyes; he was just as interested in what I had to say about slaves as Terry was.

  “I’d love for you to do a guest post,” he said eagerly. “You seem to know your stuff.”

  Perfect.

  “That would be cool,” I beamed. “Would you mind showing me how the site works so I can come up with something?”

  “Sure. My laptop’s upstairs. I’ll show you now.”

  “Great. Lead the way.”

  “We’ll be back in a little while,” Ernest told the group. Terry inclined his head, giving him permission. Only then did Ernest head for the stairs. I followed him obediently.

  We ascended another flight up to his bedroom on the second story. The space was a mess: clothes strewn everywhere, CDs and DVDs removed from their cases dotting every flat surface. Posters of half-naked women in lewd poses plastered nearly every inch of the walls. The effect was mildly repulsive, but I hid my distaste.

  “Have you lived with Terry long, then?” I asked, pretending not to know.

  “Yeah. He’s my uncle. I moved in when I was fifteen.”

  “Cool. You’re lucky to have him in your life.”

  His eyes shone with fanatical fervor. “He’s a great man.”

  “He is.” Ashes coated my tongue. I swallowed them down.

  “Hey,” I quickly changed the subject. “I meant to get a beer before we came up. Would you mind grabbing a couple? It’d be nice to talk, just the two of us. I’m really interested in your website. How did you learn all this stuff?” I laid it on thick.

  He grinned, basking in my approval. I was grateful that he was proving so easy to manipulate.

  “I taught myself,” he said proudly. “But I’ll tell you more about how it all works in a minute. Let me get those beers.”

  “Thanks.”

  I listened for ten seconds after he disappeared out the bedroom door, then acted. I retrieved the flash drive from my pocket, quickly inserting it into the USB port on Ernest’s laptop. I flipped open the screen and waited for something to happen. A small dialog box opened in the bottom right corner, with a progress bar that filled far too slowly for my taste.

  Hassan said thirty seconds, I reminded myself. It should be plenty of time.

  I waited, barely breathing.

  Ernest’s footfalls banged on the wooden stairs.

  Ninety-six percent.

  It sounded like he was taking them two at a time. The eager bastard.

  Ninety-eight percent.

  Come on, motherfucker.

  Ernest stepped onto the landing. I ripped the flash drive out and prayed it had managed to make it to a full one hundred.

  I pulled up Salvation’s website and turned to give him a pleased smile just as he appeared in the doorway.

  He paused. “What are you doing?”

  “Just taking another look. I keep up with your posts, but I didn’t check today yet.”

  His shoulders dropped, instantly relaxing. “Nothing new today.” He pressed a cold beer into my hand. “Do you think you’ll be able to write something tonight?”

  “Sure. We can do it together.”

  He practically glowed. The boy was obviously starved for friendship. It was almost enough to make me feel bad for him.

  The memory of Lissa’s pale face, twisted with fear, flashed across my mind. Ernest’s fist had wound in her hair as he held a gun beneath her chin.

  I didn’t feel a shred of mercy for him. I carefully kept my smile in place, hoping the edge of savage pleasure at the thought of killing him slowly didn’t show in the sharpness of my grin.

  Chapter 3

  Lissa

  “So how was your night with the hottie?” Sydney gushed over the phone. “I want all the details.”

  It was the hottest night of my life, followed by a near-death experience.

  “I don’t kiss and tell.” I managed to sound coy rather than traumatized.

  But I wasn’t fooling my best friend. “Since when? What went wrong? Is he an asshole?”

  I sighed. “No. He’s wonderful.”

  Except for the fact that he won’t touch me. I had to figure out a way to change that.

  “Then what gives?” she pressed.

  “It was just… really intense.” It was as close to the truth as I could manage.

  “Oh,” she said sagely. “It was your first time with a Dominant. That can be intimidating.”

  “It was. But it was amazing, too. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

  “You need this,” she said firmly. “Alik was right to suggest you try it out. I bet it really helped calm your mood swings, right?”

  I shook my head, bemused. “I don’t know how you pick up on these things. You’re like super-psychologist woman. You’re going to be awesome at your job.”

  “You know it.” She wasn’t abashed in the slightest. “Now, tell me what’s bothering you about Ian. If the sex was great, what’s bumming you out?”

  I pursed my lips. She really was too intuitive for my own good.

  “Spit it out,” she prompted. “You know I won’t judge you.”

  I blew out a breath. “Okay. The thing is, we have this amazing connection, but he keeps pulling away. You were right about his intimacy issues. I don’t know how to help him get past them.”

  “You’ll just have to give him time. Men can be difficult like that. Especially broody Doms. They like to be in c
ontrol of their emotions, and it can be hard for them to open themselves up and be vulnerable with someone they don’t know very well. He has to trust you before he’ll do that.”

  There it was again: Earn his trust.

  “I’m trying. I’m not going to give up so easily.”

  “That’s my girl,” she said proudly. “Go get him.”

  I suddenly remembered my reason for calling. “Um, that’s actually what I’m doing now. I’m going to stay with him for a few days. But I told Mom I’m staying with you. Can you cover for me?”

  “Of course. Anything to help a friend get some hot sex.”

  “Sydney!” I scolded. “This is about more than getting laid. I really like him.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m covering for you. I want this to work out. You deserve to be happy.”

  “Thanks, Syd. So,” I diverted her before she could ask me more about the events of the night before. “How was your hot date?”

  “Really hot.” I could practically hear her grinning. “He’s this gorgeous Israeli guy. He has great hair, perfect cheekbones, and a really sexy smile. He’s a total flirt. And he’s super smart. Oh, and did I mention his hot body? Because it’s really freaking hot.”

  “So you saw his body, huh?” I teased.

  She scoffed. “I didn’t have a one-night stand, if that’s what you’re implying. He was actually way too much of a gentleman. He wouldn’t do more than kiss me. But damn, he’s a good kisser.”

  I smiled, catching on to her lighthearted mood. It was nice to talk about something normal after the last tumultuous twenty-four hours. “He sounds great. Are you seeing him again?”

  “Oh, definitely. This weekend. Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to be less of a gentleman. I think I have a little black dress that should do the trick.”

  “You are such a flirt,” I accused. “I guess you suit one another.”

  “Totally. You’re not the only one with a serious crush.”

  “How did you meet him?” I was genuinely curious.