"I wasn't sure what everyone would want, so I got a bunch of different things." She smiled and sat on the bed.
God I love her smile.
"We can all just pick at the food and watch horrible reality shows all day." She giggled.
A day of vegetation sounded like an amazing plan. Grabbing a plate of pancakes, I rolled one up dipped it in syrup and placed it in my mouth. Mmm…heaven. After eating all four pancakes, drinking two cups of coffee, and a large glass of orange juice, my stomach was full.
Stretching out I took note of the time. It was after noon. The weight of their eyes followed me as I headed to the bathroom. Entering the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and decided I needed a shower.
Setting the temperature as hot as my skin could handle, I stepped into the spray. The water relieved my tense muscles. My vision started to blur from the tears welling up in my eyes. I broke down in the shower. Leaning against the tile wall, I cried until there was nothing left in me.
The hotel towel was fluffy and soft as I wrapped it around my damp body. After towel drying my hair and combing through it, I went to retrieve clean clothes.
Laney was waiting for me with clothes in her hand when I opened the door. Smiling, I hugged her. She left while got dressed.
I still wasn't able to process what happened last night or any of the other nights. Giving up on thinking through it all, I padded out to the living room. All eyes were on me when I entered the room. I looked around the room, Una, Xander, Kat, Serena, Laney, Jackson, Jimmy, Elliott, and Nicholas.
Remaining silent, I walked to the hotel fridge. Grabbing a bottle of water, I claimed a spot on the couch next to Una.
"How are you feeling?" She put her arm around me.
"Okay," I said quietly. Even I didn't recognize my own voice. She hugged me tighter. Serena slid her arm through mine and moved closer to my side.
"You really okay?" She whispered in my ear.
Smiling small I patted her arm to reassure her.
"Mia, I want to thank you again for your help with Christopher," Nicholas stood and walked to the middle of the room.
I nodded.
"I would also like to talk with you, when you're up for it, please?"
Taking a deep breath, I stood up. When would there be a better time for this conversation?
"Where do you want to talk?"
Nicholas looked surprised by my question.
"Mia you don't have to do this now," Una grabbed my hand and held it tightly.
"It's okay. I'm fine really, just tired." I smiled reassuringly and gave her hand a squeeze. "Besides I'd rather talk than be stared at like I'm some freak."
Elliott chuckle as I walked by Nicholas.
"Well?"
He gestured for me to lead and held open the hotel room door for me. Sliding on someone's flip-flops near the door, I walked out.
"How is he?" I couldn't look at him when I asked. Instead, I kept my head down as we walked the hallway.
"He's okay, stable, still drugged." He paused. "My wife, Gwen, is with him."
Nodding, I chewed on my bottom lip. "Stable", "Drugged", I felt an ache in my chest and the pull to go to him.
We walked in silence the rest of the way. When we came to the rooftop pool, I took a seat at an empty table. It was a pleasant day out for Seattle. Not too cold, no rain, and even the sun peeked out from behind the clouds on occasion.
Nicholas took a deep breath and exhaled dramatically. Unease rolled off him in waves. I couldn't help but fidget while waiting for him to begin.
"I will tell you everything I know, but I assure you that the only one who can really tell you anything is Christopher. He is the only one that knows what happened that night."
Nodding in understanding, I continued to abuse my bottom lip with my teeth. Nicholas began.
"I was working in Chicago as a scout for Richard, trying to find the next big artist. While I was there, I met Margaret Mason. She was in the process of leaving her husband. We became friends, at first. After a couple of months the relationship became physical." His face flushed with the awkwardness of the topic.
"I, uh, left on a trip for work and when I returned she was gone. I went to her apartment, but it was empty. I asked around with people, her neighbors, co-workers, etcetera, but no one knew what happened to her. She was just gone. I tried a couple of times to find her just to make sure she was okay, but I never found anything."
"Maybe I should have tried harder. There isn't a day that has passed since Christopher arrived in my life, where I haven't thought about how I should’ve looked harder for her. Secretly, I hoped she would reappear one day, but she never did. Months later, I moved to Seattle. I never heard from her again." I watched his face closely. He was sad, but there was a small touch of guilt lining his features. "It was later I found out she had given me her maiden name and not her married name."
"It was almost twelve years later when Christopher came to me. The police arrived at my door asking me questions about Chicago and Maggie. I told them everything I knew." Nicholas shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Then they told me about Christopher and asked if I would object to a paternity test, which I of course agreed." He paused. "After the results were in, I flew to Chicago to meet with the police, child services, and to finally meet my son."
"When I arrived they told me what they could conclude from the scene. Margaret had been killed by her husband and Collin had been found dead a few feet away from her, where it appeared Christopher had killed him."
My face dropped and my mouth was hanging open. I took a deep breath.
"Christopher killed his father? Or well, step-father?"
Nicholas nodded.
"His father, um, step-father tried to kill them both?"
"The police said it was determined to be self-defense."
I furrowed my brow and bit my lip because he didn't look like he believed what he was saying.
"But –"
"Mia, Christopher is the only one that really knows what happened that night, but he never spoke about it. He didn't speak at all in fact. The doctors said it was shock from the trauma, seeing his mother's murder." Nicholas looked up and into my eyes.
"When the police finally arrived to the scene and were able to get into the house, Christopher was sitting on the floor holding his mother's body and rocking her."
Large, warm tears spilled over my cheeks. How could anyone make it through that, especially a small boy? I had to swallow the sobs that were building in my throat.
"I don't excuse Christopher's behavior Mia. He knows he needs help, but he refuses; however, for some reason you help. I've never seen him like this with anyone. It usually takes drugs or other methods of sedation to calm him during a fit of rage." He sighed heavily. "I hadn't realized he was this bad, again. The date should have registered with me. It doesn't help matters." He shook his head and rubbed his forehead.
"The date?" I questioned.
"Tomorrow is the anniversary of Margaret's death." He put his head down. "I think it's why he snapped this time."
"This time?" I pressed.
He nodded reluctantly.
"He has had episodes in the past. There was a time when he constantly argued and fought with everyone. We were constantly trying to clean up the messes he created with fighting and destroying things."
"Why hasn't he gotten professional help?"
Nicholas cleared his throat.
"Gwen and I sent him to a child therapist and a grief counselor when he was younger, but he wouldn't participate. It became hours and hours of him sitting in silence." He sucked in a ragged breath before continuing. "I thought he was lost, forever."
His small chuckle caught me off guard and I wrinkled my brow at his reaction.
"I'm sorry. It's just that music is what brought him back."
"How so?"
"Gwen is a very accomplished pianist. She's played since she was four." He smiled proudly. "It was her playing
that drew Christopher back. He migrated to the music room in our house when she would play or when she was trying to teach Jackson. Chris was a natural, a true protégé." His smile was one of pride, but drowned in sadness.
"Both Gwen and I've tried multiple ways to get him more help; family meetings, forcing him to appointments, hell we even staged an intervention, but nothing worked." He rubbed his face roughly. "The last time he got help was over two years ago when he took too many of those damn sleeping pills he obtains behind my back. If Jackson hadn't needed to wake him up for a gig we most likely would've lost him."
We both sat in silence awhile longer until I stood up. Nicholas stood up quickly after me.
"Are you okay?" Concern plagued his handsome face.
Nodding to him, the sudden urge to go back to bed filled me.
Nicholas walked me back to my room. When I entered, it was empty. Thankful, I climbed into the hotel bed, falling asleep quickly. My dreams were far from pleasant, filled with images of a small boy covered in blood and tears as he rocked his mother like a baby.
* * * * *
My eyes felt swollen and my body felt as if I had gone a few too many rounds with Mayweather. I tried to speak, my lips wouldn't move.
"Christopher, Christopher, sweetheart?"
Gwen? Is that Gwen? Why the hell can't I see?
"Oh Christopher honey open your eyes if you can hear me, please?"
I tried, but nothing worked. It was all black. Why couldn't I open my eyes? Why didn't my body work anymore? What the hell had happened to me?
Panic set in and I tried to scream, but only a gurgling sound emerged from my mouth.
As I fought the darkness, light began to creep in and it was blinding. Flinching back, I groaned at the sudden intrusion.
"Christopher?"
"Gwen?" I finally croaked.
"Oh sweetheart," She sobbed.
Lifting my hand, I clenched and unclenched it. My body was once again under my command.
"Don't cry, please," I rasped out. She grabbed my hand tightly. I groaned at the pain.
"Oh crap, I'm so sorry, honey." She released my hand when she realized it was causing me pain.
I tried my eyes once again. The glaring light was there, but it wasn't as intrusive as before. Squinting I rolled my head to the right.
There she was, Gwen. With her beautiful caramel colored hair, fair skin, and signature full red lips.
"Please?" I asked again when I saw she was still crying.
She stood closer to me and wiped her eyes. Her face shifted from sadness to anger.
"Don't you ever do that to me again," She yelled.
"I'm sorry." I wasn't quite sure what I was apologizing for, my head was still too foggy.
My senses were only just beginning to return. The soft beeps from machines, the coolness of the air on my skin, and the familiar scents of rubbing alcohol and freshly opened Band-Aids with a hint of floral were in the air. As my eyes adjusted, I tried to sit up, catching a glimpse of a flower bouquet across the room.
"Wait, let me get the doctor." Gwen rushed out of the room.
Lying back on the pillows, I took in the blue and beige hospital room. Gwen returned dragging a man in a white coat and blue scrubs into the room behind her.
"Ma'am I think we need to call his assigned doctor," the man pleaded.
"Non-sense, you help my son!" She scolded and a nurse rushed into the room.
"Mrs. Shaw, Dr. Cain is on his way now." She attempted to reassure Gwen as the other doctor hurried out of the room.
I couldn't help but chuckle a little, wincing from an unknown pain in my arm. Looking down toward my hands, I noticed the bandages wrapped around them. It all came back to me in a rush of memory.
"Oh shit," I exclaimed and sat up. "Stacia," Groaning I covered my face with my hands. The smell of new gauze invaded my nostrils. Gwen rushed to my side.
"It's okay." She hugged me and rubbed slow circles on my shoulders. "Everything is going to be okay."
I started shaking my head.
"No, no it's not." Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. Gwen wiped them away.
She held my face to hers.
"It will all be okay. We will get through this together, as a family."
"It's my fault," I whispered. She squeezed me tighter. "I hurt her."
She hugged me close and pulled my head to her chest, her heartbeat thumping wildly in my ear.
"How long have I been here?"
"Just the night," she sniffed. "You’ll come home with me and I will take care of you."
Fuck, why couldn’t the doctors kept me under until the nightmarish anniversary was over. Then a thought halted my musings.
"Is Stacia...?" I couldn't get the rest of my question out of my mouth.
"She's okay." Her hand ran through my hair.
My doctor eventually arrived and reluctantly released me from the hospital; however, since my physical injuries were more superficial and I'd not tried to commit suicide he had no choice. They made sure to give me their professional advice as well as to talk to Nicholas and Gwen before I signed my release papers.
We were riding in a tension-filled car until Gwen broke the silence.
"I think he should come home with me for a while. You can cancel the tour." She waved it off as if it were no big deal to cancel a major tour. Nicholas had a look of amusement on his face.
"Gwen, I don't know what we're going to do right now, but we'll talk about it." He looked to her briefly. She pouted. "It is a wonderful idea though." He reassured her.
"Can you not talk about me as if I'm not here?" I exclaimed. "Look, I know I fucked up –"
"Christopher, watch your mouth." Gwen scolded.
"Sorry. I know I messed up, major, but I don't want to cancel the tour. It's not fair to everyone else." I argued.
"I don't think it's –" Nicholas interrupted Gwen before she could finish her argument.
"Christopher I can't agree to that. How do I know you won't do this again?" He looked at me with pain in his eyes.
"I won't hurt anyone," I tried to reassure them.
"What about yourself, Christopher? I'm concerned about you." Nicholas spoke sternly.
I put my head back on the seat not knowing what to say to convince him. My mind was scrambling for something I could bargain. Finally, my mental search came through. I realized what would convince him and internally groaned. I couldn't believe I was going to do this. Squeezing my eyes, my jaw tightened. I spit it out before I came to my senses and changed my mind.
"I'll do whatever you want. I'll agree to get help." Pulling my head up, I looked at both of them. Gwen looked like she were going to cry again and Nicholas looked as if something was stuck in his throat.
"Christopher –"
"Of course I'll have some stipulations."
He eyed me with suspicion.
"And what are those?" He demanded.
"I will not be doped up all day. If they want me to take the pills to sleep, then fine I'll do that, but I won't take pills all day."
"And?" He asked.
I hesitated.
"A couple of things, though one is probably unlikely." I shifted nervously in my seat and swallowed hard.
"Continue…" He urged.
"I will not go lie down on some head shrink's couch to talk about my feelings. I'm not saying I won't talk to someone, but I don't want some stupid ass head doctor making me lie down and discuss my 'mommy issues'" I looked at Gwen who was scowling at me.
"Sorry for swearing." She let a small smile sneak up on her lips.
"And the other request?" Nicholas raised his eyebrow.
Taking a deep breath, I bit the bullet.
"Mia," I looked him straight in the eye.
Chapter Ten
"What about Mia?"
Nicholas sat up straighter and looked at me as if he was ready to pounce. Glancing quickly at Gwen I noticed a small smile on her lips.
"It's not like that." Quickly I corr
ected Gwen's unspoken assumptions. She just nodded and her smile transformed to a smirk. Clearing my throat, I turned my attention back to Nicholas. He was still eyeing me up and was winding up for the attack.
"Don't let her leave the tour." I said with my eyes cast down. "I've been an asshole and after everything, especially after last night, I'm sure she…that Hushed Mentality is about to pull out."
"Christopher," His shoulders relaxed and the tension in his jaw slackened.
I braced myself for him to tell me that it was too late.
"I don't believe they're going anywhere."
Looking up at him, his lips turned up in amusement.
"Mia is stronger than you give her credit for. To be quite honest, I don't think even your asshole behavior could have run that one off."
I rubbed the back of my neck and Nicholas chuckled.
"I think you have finally met your match."
Gwen covered her mouth to try to stifle a giggle.
"I think you're right." I breathed out.
Putting my head back onto the seat, I closed my eyes again. Thinking back over the time we'd been on tour and all of the interactions with Mia on the tour bus and the hotel.
When the car stopped in front of the studio, I was a bit surprised. I was sure he was going to take me straight to the hotel or even take me home.
"I'll be right back." Nicholas spoke and quickly stepped from the car.
I followed him.
"Christopher you don't have to come in. We can head back to the hotel. I just need to check on a couple of things with Una."
"Una's here?" I was a little confused. Looking at my watch, it was almost five.
Why, the fuck, did I just look at the time? Have I learned nothing by now?
Composing myself quickly before Nicholas could see any falter in my demeanor.
"Yes. The girls are here recording." He looked at me cautiously. Obviously I hadn't pulled myself together as quick as I thought.
"I want to go in."
"Christopher," Gwen got out of the care without me noticing, "I think it's best to wait here."
Falling Stars Page 11
