Affection: book 7

by KT Fisher

  “We have to stop meeting like this.” I joke.

  He doesn’t look as though he finds that as funny as I do so my laughter dies.

  “Where have you been?” He asks serious as fuck.

  I cock my head to the side, confused slightly by his question. “Huh?”

  This gains a slight smirk from him. “I haven’t seen you around.”

  Oh! Ryder has noticed that I’ve been staying away.

  I’m quite flattered that he’s noticed that I’ve not been around, but I quickly ignore that feeling.

  “Away.” I shrug, opening the bottled water and taking a much needed drink.

  “Away?” He repeats, “where?”

  Taking a second to think of what to say, I decide to tell him fuck all. “I don’t owe you an explanation Ryder, all you need to know is that I wasn’t here.”

  I go to walk past him but Ryder stops me in my tracks, reaching out and holding onto my arm. Not tight enough to hurt, but enough for me to stop. I pointedly look at his grip on my arm, raising my eyebrows in a warning and he let’s go.

  “I guess I was worried.” Ryder explains, looking uncomfortable. I like that.

  I smile. “Ryder, we agreed to not do this. You don’t want an old lady and I won’t sleep around and embarrass my family.”

  Ryder nods, completely understanding my situation. He was a mistake. I can’t be sleeping around freely like I did. I mean, of course I wasn’t a virgin when I slept with Ryder. I’ve been with other men, but they weren’t connected to the club so if my family discovered it, it wouldn’t matter. If the man I choose to have sex with is connected to the club then that’s a different story. If I sleep with a member, then that should be because we’re considering being together as a couple. It’s nonsense and old fashioned but it’s the way it is when you’re born into the club life.

  Eventually, after blood and sweat has been splattered and dripped onto the floor of the fighting ring, its Axels turn. My heart begins to beat a little faster as it always does when I watch Axel fight. He’s my brother, I’m going to want him to do well. I have a love/hate relationship with watching my brothers’ fights. I become so tense and scared. I don’t know why because he’s won every one of his fights, but I just can’t help it. I wince whenever he’s hit and cheer for his victories.

  Ryder told me honestly that he’s not ready to settle and have an old lady by his side, and that’s cool. I don’t want to be someone’s woman just yet. I want to have some more fun first. So we both agreed it was a bit of fun, nothing more and we was to leave it there, but that’s hard when you constantly keep bumping into each other. Impossible really.

  We stare at each other, knowing that if it was a different time in our life, then the situation between us could be so much different. I guess it’s true what they say, life isn’t fair, because here we are.

  Suddenly, Ryder is standing right in front of me and his hands either side of my face. He stares right into my eyes and steals my breath as he kisses me. It’s rough and coarse as his beard scratches me but I surrender to him and my own hands reach to his chest. I cling to him as the kiss deepens, I want more! But you can’t have more. My thoughts interrupt my lust and I break away with an angry gasp, pushing away from Ryder and creating space between us.

  “What are you doing?” I yell, breathing heavily due to Ryder kissing me with so much force.

  Ryder doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me with an angry look. I give him a dirty look before stomping around him and leaving with my bottled water. My mouth feels like it’s tingling, as if Ryder’s mouth is still on mine and I’m still feeling a little weird as I descend back to the gym to watch my brother fight.

  “You ok?” Lulu asks me, as I return to her side. My face feels red and my mouth plump, due to Ryder’s harsh kiss. It was a great kiss and I hate that I had to end it but this can’t happen between us. It was a one time thing. Never going to happen again!

  “Sure.” I reply, doing my best to look and act normal as Ryder walks behind us. I feel his body pass me and it creates goose bumps all over me. Why does he have to have so much effect on me?

  I really wish he didn’t.

  Lulu curiously watches me as I drink my water so I avoid her eyes. Luckily for me, Axel’s fight is announced and Lulu leaves me alone. Ryder does decide to stand on the opposite side of the boxing ring, so we have the prefect view of one another and although it’s great to get to see his devastatingly handsome face, it’s unfortunate at the same time. Damn him.

  Ryder completely distracts me from watching Axel’s fight, but I’m able to tell that my brother is winning. It isn’t much of a shock, seeing as he’s never lost a fight but his opponent is a nomad Kings member who’s known for his fighting ability. He belongs to The Kings of Rebellion MC but hasn’t settled at one charter yet. He’s a big unit of a man and the fight is more on the brutal side but the battle continues and I wince when Axel gets a nasty hit to the face. Once I know that my brother is fine, my attention drifts back to Ryder. As we watch each other I can’t help but think this is ridiculous, but as much as I think so, we still don’t put a stop to it.

  Lulu elbows me in my side and gives me a warning look. “What are you doing?”

  “What?” I ask, pretending to know nothing.

  She shakes her head. “Just keep your eyes on the fight so you two don’t get caught.”

  I give Ryder one last look, melting at his slight smirk before I tear my eyes from him and return to watching my brother. I am here to watch Axel’s fight after all.

  This fight is really nasty and I even have to look away a couple of times. I just can’t watch my brother getting beat. I’m not used to seeing him get hit so harshly. Axel keeps up though, proving his worth and boxing talents, continuing to land punches on his opponent and wearing him down. The nomad wobbles a little on his feet and Axel takes his chance, hitting him with an uppercut to the face. The man lands on the floor with a thud and everyone erupts into cheers as the fight is stopped and Axel is named the winner.

  Lulu and I clap and shout for our brother, laughing at each other as we do. The celebrations continue upstairs, in the main area of the clubhouse while Axel freshens up in his room. I did notice a couple of girls following him in, which isn’t unusual but it’s something I don’t wish to think about too much.

  I join some of the girls at the bar and eagerly grab a drink. Ryder strolls past, his aftershave leaving a tempting trail but I stay strong and remain at the bar. If this was different and he wanted an old lady, this game could be over however, he doesn’t want me as his old lady and if anyone was to discover we spent a night together, he would be in trouble. A lot of fucking trouble and even though I’m pissed at him for making me think about being an old lady, I don’t want the men at this club to beat him to near death and remove him from MC.

  Drinks continue to flow as the time passes midnight. The dancing starts to get more flirtatious, even though it’s just us girls. We laugh more and joke around but no matter how hard I try, I can’t help but tracking Ryder. I know he’s in the same room, I noticed him about an hour ago, watching me. He can’t make it too obvious though, because he’s standing right beside to my brother.

  A song by The Weekend starts to play and I sway my hips to the sexy rhythm, purposely turning to face Ryder. He’s watching me, a beer in hand as I tease him. My hands softly embracing my body, gliding over my hips and my breasts. Nobody else is paying me the slightest bit of attention, but Ryder is.

  There’s just something about Ryder that makes me want more. Or is it because he’s off limits to me now?

  I want to walk on over to him, rip his clothes off and fuck him. Right here in this room, but I can’t for numerous reasons. The main one is that my family are here. Right now, in this moment if I were alone I know what I would do. I’m drunk and horny. I want Ryder and the way he’s watching me, I know he wants me too.

  I smile at him as I dance, his very own performance.

  Go
d he turns me on.

  I need to get away from him.

  Chapter Five

  Poppy

  It’s rough at work the next day because my head is pounding. Last night was a little crazy, but I didn’t last as long the others. My sister, Lulu and some of the other girls lasted a lot longer than me. It wasn’t long after I did the little dance for Ryder than I decided to go to bed and I chose to sleep in my father’s club room. He hasn’t used it in a long while so I knew it would be free.

  Lulu though is surprise as she hasn’t even been to sleep! Oh no!

  My twin sister stayed up at the club house all night, drinking and dancing but because she’s so reliable and trust worthy, she still came into work. After a quick wash and an outfit change, she’s here with me.

  Believe me when I say that I’ve had my fun with her this morning but it appears now is my turn.

  “So you disappeared last night.” Lulu looks at me pointedly. “Where did you go?”

  “What do you mean?” I frown. “I went to Dad’s room.”

  “On your own?” Lulu raises her eyebrows in an accusing way.

  “Yes!” I shout, well as loud as I can with customers close by. “Why?”

  Lulu grumbles. “Because when you disappeared, so did Ryder.”

  “He did?” I ask curiously. I know what Lulu is getting at, but Ryder didn’t come with me to my dad’s room, I was all alone and besides, I was too tired for that shit anyway. Ryder would have been very disappointed.

  In answer to my question, my sister nods. “Yeah, almost immediately after you went.” She looks at me carefully as she continues. “He didn’t come to see you?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  “Oh.” Lulu adds quietly, sounding a little regretful and a slight feeling of dread fills my stomach. Could he have been with someone else? Waiting for the second that I wasn’t there to find someone to fuck.

  Why should I care anyway? I remind myself and I push my feelings aside.

  “I thought I recognised that shirt anyway.” Lulu giggles.

  I look down at the black and white shirt I’m wearing, not realising at first why she’s laughing, but then it sinks in that this top is from our ‘emergency pile of clothes’ that we keep at the clubhouse. Most of the club members and their families keep a little bag of clothes at the clubhouse just in case of a night like mine, when they crash and need clean clothes for the next day or for a real emergency. Just like the time’s we would all love to forget about, but they’ve been burnt into our memories forever. Horror stories that have come to life for people within the club. All of us realised that this life can terribly dangerous, if you cross paths with the wrong people.

  “I’ll return it once I’ve washed it.” I reply, trying not to think too into what Ryder could have been up to last night.

  “We could probably add a few more bits to be fair.” My sister adds and I agree, when I was looking through the pile this morning it was a case of, which item would I be less embarrassed wearing?

  Two more customers walk in and I nod in agreement as I go to greet them.

  For the rest of my working day, I do my best to ignore Lulu’s questioning eyes. It’s annoying and normally I would tell her to stop but I’m honestly too worn out. I would love nothing more than to sneak into to back and go back to sleep, but Lulu must be feeling worse than me. She’s not had any sleep at all!

  I just can’t wait for today to be over so I can curl into my own bed.

  Later on in the afternoon, the shop is a lot quieter so she takes this chance to return to my side and quiz me some more.

  “Pop?” She asks and I look up at her and see she looks a little concerned. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  Lulu looks me over. “You just look really pale.”

  “Do I?” I ask, heading to the closest mirror to see if she’s right. I do look slightly pale, most likely because I haven’t put my usual amount of make up on due to the fact that I didn’t have any at the clubhouse this morning.

  “And you’ve been weirdly quiet.” She adds, following me across the shop.

  “I’m tired.” I reminding her, rolling my eyes.

  “You might be coming down with something, some of the old ladies were talking about some sickness bug going around.”

  I cringe at the thought. “I hope not.”

  The shop door then opens and surprisingly in walks Bomber with his usual friendly smile but someone walks behind him with a slight scowl and moody looking face, it’s none other than Ryder. Ah fuck!

  I can practically feel Lulu’s eyes on me, watching how I’m reacting to this and I hope I don’t fail. Ryder makes matters worse and smirks at me. He looks sexy as always, tempting me and I have to remind myself what a fuck he is. He doesn’t want you, I tell myself.

  Lulu takes the lead with Bomber, helping him with whatever Elise has sent him here for. Leaving me with Ryder.

  “You left early last night.” He states and I nod.

  “I was tired.” I go to stand behind the counter and look at him pointedly. “I heard you left the same time as me.”

  Ryder doesn’t say anything, he just smirks and I don’t like it. He watches Lulu disappear into the back for what Bomber needs, and he takes this moment to lean in closer. “Let me have your number.”

  I laugh. “No.”

  Ryder carefully watches the door to the back, waiting for Bomber and Lulu to return. “Come on Pops.” He leans in even closer. Almost touching me. “Let me have your number.” Our eyes burn into each other’s before he adds, “Please?”

  That one word melts me. I don’t know how he does it, but he’s got me in the palm of his hand.

  With a loud and heavy complaint, I hold out my hand. “Give me your phone.”

  With a sexy smirk, Ryder gets out his mobile and hands it over to me. He watches me as I type my phone number into his mobile, looking very happy with himself. When I hand it back he makes a point to touch my hand slowly, letting his hand graze my wrist and it gives me goose bumps. “Thanks baby girl.”

  I stand tall. “I’m not your baby girl.”

  Ryder laughs as Bomber and Lulu return. Bomber grins as he hears Ryder laughing. “It’s nice to see you two getting along so well.”

  I look from Bomber and back to Ryder. “Not really.”

  “Ah come on.” Ryder adds. “You know you like me.”

  “’Like,’ isn’t the word I would use.” I answer back.

  Bomber shakes his head, but keeps his smile. Him and Ryder then turn to leave, Bomber waves, saying goodbye. Ryder winks back at me, his sexy persona effecting me more than I like.

  “Talk to ya later Pops!” Ryder waves and as he walks out the shop, my whole body relaxes. I just can’t help how much he bothers me. He’s dangerous and so fucking sexy. I’m worried I’m not going to be able to stay away but the trouble with that is, it will end in me getting hurt. I just know it.

  For the rest of my working day I can’t help but constantly think of Ryder. I’m in a daze as I see to customers and I can’t seem to shake myself from it. At least my sister leaves me alone and has stopped her constant questioning, but her concerned glances are rubbing me up the wrong way. She’s staring over at me as if I’m about to pass out on the floor at any given minute. I don’t know why she’s so bothered, considering she’s had less sleep than me.

  On the drive home, we sing along to the radio like we usually do but my tiredness is holding me back. I’m not upbeat and cheery as we get closer to home. I’m so tired, I just want my bed but I know my mum will have our dinner ready for us. She prides herself on being a great wife and an even better mother. It will hurt her feelings if I refuse dinner, but although I’m hungry I’m even more tired. I think if I was to sit at the table and eat, I would fall asleep with my head diving into my plate full of food. I just want to get into bed.

  When we get home, my eyes are already closing as we step through the door. Lulu stops me as I go to head upst
airs, frowning because I’m not following her to the kitchen where our mother is certain to be.

  “What are you doing?” She asks me.

  “Where do you think?” I rub my forehead, a headache creeping in because I’m so exhausted. “I need my bed.”

  “You need food.” Lulu argues but I shake my head, stepping back from her.

  “I need sleep.” I retort, but she’s right with one thing. I can’t just head upstairs without saying a word to my mum.

  So I quickly make my way to find my mother standing in the kitchen, my dad is also here sat at the table and reading over some paperwork, probably to do with the club. My mum is dishing up, and I do feel a surge of guilt but I just can’t.

  “Hey mum.” I greet her and she immediately spins to face me. Her face brightening when she sees me and then Lulu following behind.

  “Hey babies!” She squeals, holding her arms out wide but then when she gets close enough to really see me, her smile fades. “Honey? What’s the matter?”

  “I’m just tired.” I assure her. “I just wanted to come and ask if you could save me some dinner? I’d rather go to bed because I feel as though I’m about to fall asleep right here.”

  My dad laughs from his chair. “It’s all those late nights at the clubhouse.”

  “Leave her alone.” My mum fusses over me, taking my hand in hers and leading me out of the room. “Come on baby, I’ll take you to bed.”

  Lulu rolls her eyes as we pass. We cross paths with Axel as he enters the house, ready for his food. He gives us a weird look but continues to the kitchen.

  My mother takes me up the stairs and to my bedroom, picking out some pyjamas for me as I undress. She’s sometimes even like this when Lulu and me are drunk or hungover. She honestly is the best, but even we admit that she does too much.

  She places my work clothes into the dirty laundry basket as I step into the soft cotton set she’s picked out for me. My mother pulls back the quilt so I can get inside and lie down. Even covering me in my thick covers while sitting on the edge of my bed. My mum smiles at me. “Now get some rest, your food will wait for you.”