Moth to a Flame

by Antoinette, Ashley

  “Daddy, is Raven okay?” Bella asked.

  “She’s resting, baby girl,” he replied. He grabbed Bella’s hand and led the way to the waiting area. He kissed the top of her head and then approached Dolce.

  “What is up with you?” Dolce asked with crossed arms. “You’ve been here with that bitch for days like you’re feeling her or something.”

  “Hey, watch your mouth,” Ethic warned seriously. He wanted to handle the situation like an adult, but she was real close to him hurting her feelings.

  “See! That’s what I’m talking about! You’re taking up for her like she’s your girl. When she came here you told me she was just a friend, Ethic, but ever since she showed up you have been treating me differently. Just be real. Are you in love with her?” Dolce asked. She was irate. She desperately hoped that the answer was no, but the guilty look on his face said it all. “You love her?” she asked again, outraged.

  “I don’t know, Dolce. I have never lied to you so I won’t start now,” Ethic said. “Something is happening between me and Raven. I care for her.”

  “You care for her?” Dolce repeated dramatically.

  “I do,” he repeated. “I’m sorry, ma. None of this was supposed to happen. I would never purposely hurt you.”

  “You know what, Ethic? You’re full of shit, she growled. “You got me sitting at home playing babysitter to those fucking brats while you’re waiting for your little girlfriend to wake up. I’ve been putting in my time with you and this bitch comes along and all of sudden Dolce don’t exist, huh?”

  Ethic’s eyes turned cold at the negative reference to his daughter, and he stepped close to her. What he had to tell her was for her ears only. “Look, ma, I’ma let that slick shit you popping slide because I realize that I’m wrong, but I want you to look at those little girls sitting over there,” he stated as he took her chin in his hands and turned her head in their direction. He held her face firmly and continued, “Let that be the last time some stupid shit fly out of your mouth about them. I don’t take kindly to my daughter being disrespected. Do we understand each other?” he asked.

  Dolce had tears in her eyes as she snatched her chin away from him. “Yeah, we understand each other, Ethic. I’m done! I don’t have to take this shit. Ain’t nobody want your ugly ass anyway. You were a meal ticket, nigga. Fuck you, Dolce seethed, showing her true colors.

  Ethic nodded as if everything was finally becoming clear. Unaffected by her words, he calmly said, “That’s why you couldn’t compete with her.”

  “Excuse me?” Dolce snapped.

  “You wanted to know what changed when Raven came to town. I run through classless women. Fuck ’em and leave ’em then push ’em out the door with the same shit they came in with: nothing. You’re nothing to me, Dolce. She’s everything. You could never compete with her.”

  Dolce stormed off and Ethic watched her walk away. He hoped that he was making the right decision. No, he was not in love with her, but Dolce had been dependable. She was loyal, respectable, and trustworthy, or at least she had pretended to be. Raven was the exact opposite, but his heart dwelled with her, and now that he knew she was pregnant with his child, he owed it to himself to see if they could work. He walked back over to Bella and Morgan, unsure of what he was going to do with them now that Dolce was gone. Together they went back into Raven’s room and sat by her side. With Bella in his lap and Morgan sitting beside him, they fell asleep as they waited for Raven to pull through.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Raven opened her eyes a week later. She was disoriented. She didn’t know where she was and she tried to force her sight to adjust to the darkened room. She felt as if she would die from all of the pain she was going through. She could feel every throb, every ache, and every stitch on her body as she lay helplessly in the bed, but she was grateful because she knew that after what she had been through she was lucky to be alive. The only light in the room came from the rectangular opening on the doorway and she noticed Ethic’s silhouette sitting to her right.

  She opened her mouth to call his name. “E ... Ethic ... .” Her dry, raspy throat could barely choke out the word.

  Ethic heard her stir and he quickly put a sleeping Bella down next to Morgan to rush to her side.

  “Hey,” he greeted her as he looked down at her and rubbed her long hair gently. She could hear the relief in his voice. “Welcome back.”

  She remembered everything that had happened. She could still hear the car horns blaring in her head. “How long have I been out?” she asked.

  “A while ... .”

  “I was so stupid. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. I just wanted to escape ... get high and fly away. Where is Morgan?” she asked frantically. “Is she all right?”

  “She’s here and she’s fine. She is sleeping. You can see her in the morning. Don’t worry about Morgan. You just rest,” he replied.

  Raven held on to his hand tightly as she closed her eyes. “Are you leaving?” she asked.

  “Nah, I’m not going anywhere, ma. I’ma be here whenever you need me. I promise,” he stated. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” he asked.

  “What?” she said in disbelief. “Pregnant?” Ethic chuckled softly because her reaction was identical to the one he had given the nurse. “Is it yours?” she asked.

  “You tell me,” he said seriously. “You’re only a couple weeks along, so unless you’ve been with someone else ... .”

  Raven smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. “See that’s exactly why this shit will never work. You think you know so much about me, but you don’t. I’m not a ho, Ethic. I haven’t had sex with anyone else in Kansas City.” She shook her head as tears graced her cheeks. “Oh my God. I can’t keep this baby. This was a mistake.”

  “Was it?” Ethic asked. “Because we both knew what could happen. I never go raw with anyone, but with you I didn’t even think about it.”

  “And I was too caught up to ask,” she whispered as she touched her stomach.

  “What if I asked you to keep the baby?” Ethic asked as he placed his hand over hers. “What would you say?”

  “I don’t even know your real name, Ethic. Think about it? You know everything about me, but I don’t know shit about you,” she said.

  “Ezra ... my real name is Ezra,” he informed her.

  Raven was dumbfounded. She didn’t even know what to say. “I’ve been in love with you since I was seventeen and you played me repeatedly. ...”

  Before she could finish her objection Ethic leaned over and kissed her lips gently. “I know, but when I found out you had been hurt, my fucking world went grey, Raven. I don’t know what it means or how I came to feel that strongly for you ... but I’m feeling you, ma.”

  “You’re feeling me?” she repeated sarcastically.

  Ethic sighed and scratched the top of his head in frustration. “You gon’ make me work for this, ain’t you?”

  Raven smiled. She wanted to make him kiss her toes and jump through hoops but she knew that she would only be fronting. She shook her head. “No,” she responded with a gracious smile. “Come here.”

  She kissed Ethic sensually as he placed a hand on her stomach. “You gon’ keep my seed, ma? he asked.

  She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. She pulled back to kiss him, but he put his finger over her lips, halting her.

  “You gon’ do one more thing for me?” he asked with a slight grin.

  “Anything,” she repeated.

  “We got to get you to the sink so you can brush your teeth. You doing a lot of kissing with a stink mouth,” he stated jokingly. Her face flushed red in embarrassment, but she couldn’t help but to crack up in laughter. She covered her face in mortification, but Ethic ignored her stinky breath and kissed her over and over again. It was so unreal, but she did not want to let go.

  “Wait a minute ... what about Dolce? I’m not for the drama, Ethic. I don’t want to have to fuck your bitch up. I will
put it on that bitch Flint style.”

  Ethic laughed at her frankness. “I don’t think that will be necessary, ma. She has already been given her walking papers.”

  Raven gave Ethic a look that told him he better not be playing games, and he reassured her with a kiss.

  “No more drugs, ma. I can’t have you around Bella if you’re going to be into that shit. I need you to take care of her and the child that’s growing inside of you. I got to have a strong woman behind me. So that when I’m down you can help build me back up, okay?”

  Raven nodded and Ethic’s heart swelled as he held her face in his hands. He knew that their relationship would not be perfect, but he was willing to work at it. He was going all in with Raven. He knew they had a lot to talk about, but it could wait until she was better. He sighed gratefully as he sat back down. The hard part was over. She had pulled through and opened her eyes. Now he could nurse her back to health and they could move on with their lives ... together.

  The doctors held Raven for three weeks, running tests and monitoring her pregnancy, before they finally let her go. As Raven watched Ethic talk with the doctor she realized how grateful she was to have him in her life. She loved the way that he treated her and accepted Morgan into his life. It was like after all this time she had finally found home and a new family to call her own. She could tell that Ethic’s feelings were genuine toward her. Every day they grew closer to one another and she admired the way he included Morgan in their lives. He treated Bella and Morgan exactly the same. When he yelled at one he yelled at the other. When he tucked his daughter in at night he made sure that he kissed Morgan good night as well. He was her father figure and he stepped up without having to be asked because he knew that Morgan needed it. That reason alone was enough for Raven to love him. He was just as perfect as she had always dreamt him to be. She admired his confidence. Despite the burns on his face he still carried the same swagger he always had. He was gangster without being malicious, confident without displaying arrogance, and caring without being soft. Ethic had the perfect combination of qualities that endeared Raven to him. Now that she had Ethic she was slowly realizing that what she had experienced with Mizan had not been love. With Ethic she was better.

  As she prepared to leave, Morgan and Bella rushed to her side to help her off of the bed. Besides having a leg full of stitches and deep bruising all over her body she had recovered fully. She was extremely sore, but she welcomed life’s pain. All of the hurt that had led her to this moment in her life was worth it, because if she had not been through the fire she would not know what true happiness felt like.

  “I see I got my own little personal nurses, huh?” she asked playfully as Morgan and Bella walked her over to a wheelchair.

  “Yep! We decorated the house for you and everything. We are going to be your servants until you get better,” Bella said excitedly as she displayed a gap-toothed smile.

  “Oh, wow,” Raven exclaimed as she pulled Bella into her lap. She held onto Morgan’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you, Stank,” she signed, meaning it from the bottom of her heart. Morgan had loved her unconditionally throughout the years and was the only piece of her family that she had left.

  “I love you too,” Morgan signed back. Being around Ethic and Bella had made her feel whole again. She felt like she had a new family and although it was not as good as her old one, she loved them and appreciated them so much because of what she had been through.

  “What about me?” Bella asked. “Do you love me too?”

  Ethic stopped speaking to the doctor as he looked back at Raven and Bella. He didn’t want to put Raven in an awkward situation where she felt obligated to respond. Raven looked Bella directly in her eyes and lifted her hand to rub her unruly curly hair. “I love you very much, sweetie.”

  Hearing those words and seeing Bella wrap her arms around Raven’s neck filled Ethic with great pride. There was nothing left for Raven to prove to him. She loved his daughter and that was all he could ask of her.

  “I’m not trying to be a mushy nigga or nothing, but I love you, ma ... on everything you mean the world to me,” Ethic whispered in her ear as he wheeled her to his car. After hearing him say those words she felt her life was perfect. She had no idea that her past was just waiting for the right time to sneak up on her. No matter how hard she tried she would never be able to run from her past; sooner than later she was going to have to face it, including the hefty fines that she was going to have to pay and the court appearances for driving while impaired. But with Ethic by her side she felt like she could conquer anything.

  Rich sat in the ambulance with a goon by his side, watching every move that Raven made. They had been waiting patiently for her to emerge from the hospital and finally after three days of staking out the entrance, she had appeared.

  “That’s her?” the goon asked as he watched her get into Ethic’s car.

  “Yeah, that’s her,” Rich confirmed.

  “Damn, she bad as hell,” the dude commented. “That’s Mizan’s bitch?”

  “Don’t let a pretty face fool you, my nigga. That snake-ass bitch is the one who got Mizan locked up,” Rich stated. He pulled out his cell phone and snapped a quick photo of Raven with Ethic. “She out here playing wifey to that nigga Ethic who used to run with her daddy ... Mizan is definitely gon’ wanna see this.”

  When Mizan received the text, his hatred for Raven shot through the roof. He had always suspected her of having a thing for Ethic, but to see her kissing him confirmed his suspicions. He began to think of all the times he had had minor run-ins with Ethic. She had me looking like a fucking fool, he thought.

  Before seeing this there had still been a part of him that thought of Raven as his girl, but now he was certain that he was going to murder her ... even if it was the last thing he did.

  Chapter Twenty

  Playing mother to Bella and taking care of her sister made Raven fall in love with the idea of being a mother. She had even begun teaching Bella sign language so that she could interact better with Morgan. She had finally stepped into the life she had always wanted. Yes, she was the queen of the streets, but Ethic’s reign over Kansas City was completely different than her father’s had been. Ethic didn’t stay away from home at night, and although he had all of the rewarding possessions of being a kingpin, she never saw him put in work. He kept her out of harm’s way at all times. His reach was so far that he had people who he could call on to do his dirty work. Ethic had not touched cocaine in years. He had long transcended the positions in the game that risked his freedom. He was a business man and he conducted himself as such. When he was home, he left the streets on their front doorstep. There were no raised voices, slammed doors, or threatening atmospheres behind the four walls of Ethic’s home. He did not try to prove his manhood by asserting dominance over her. He was a real man, her man, and he taught Raven how to be a real woman. If they did happen to disagree he made sure that they talked about it. He slowly made her feel comfortable in his world. Mizan had trained Raven to fear him, now Ethic was teaching her to love him fearlessly.

  Raven tucked both of the girls into their beds and waited for them to fall asleep before she snuck out of the room. She rushed into the kitchen to check on the dinner she was preparing for Ethic. She never wanted to give him a reason to leave, so she made sure that she stepped up her game and did everything in her power to make him comfortable. She cooked and cleaned like a Stepford wife and was willing to do anything to please him. What she did not realize was that she did not have to work so hard because Ethic was already smitten. She picked up the phone and dialed his number as she stood over the stove. She smiled when she heard him answer because he was always so available to her. The women in his life came first above all circumstances.

  “Hey, you,” she greeted him seductively.

  “What up, Rae?” he replied. “I’m on my way to you.”

  “Okay, well, when you get here come straight to the bedroom. I have a surprise
for you,” she replied.

  “Straight up?” he inquired. She had piqued his interest and he wanted to hear more.

  “Straight up,” she confirmed as she turned the oven on low and made her way into the master bedroom. She turned on the shower, then began to undress.

  “How far away are you?” she asked.

  “I’m close,” he replied.

  “Okay, I’ll see you when you get here. Don’t take too long,” she cooed sexily as she ended the call. She turned, put her Maxwell CD into the player and turned it on low before she stepped underneath the stream of hot water.

  She washed her body gently as she swayed to the beat of the music. When she heard the volume increase slightly on her stereo she smiled, knowing that Ethic was home.

  “I’m in here,” she called out. “Why don’t you come join me?”

  She closed her eyes and put her face under the water as the bathroom door squeaked open.

  Her back was facing Ethic and she bent over enticingly, pretending to wash her legs as she shook her hips from side to side to give him a good view. She heard the shower door open and turned around to greet her man, but she found herself looking into the eyes of a stranger. She fixed her mouth to scream, but a strong hand silenced her.

  “Bitch, if you want to live then shut the fuck up,” he threatened as he held a .45-caliber pistol near her face, tracing her cheek with it as his body weight pinned her against the shower wall.

  She cried as his hands roamed between her legs. She shook as his hands invaded her. The goon had been sent there by Mizan, and although he had specific instructions to bring her back without a hair out of place, he had taken it upon himself to see what all the fuss was about.

  Raven panicked as he violated her. She could see his ill intentions in his eyes but she knew that she couldn’t fight back. Morgan and Bella were asleep in the other room, and she didn’t want them to wake up to find her being raped. Ethic is on his way, she thought frantically. I have to stall for time.