Destined to Feel

by Indigo Bloome

  I am settling down to a delicious seafood platter when the first buzzing sensation begins. I cross my legs just to ensure I’m as contained as possible. Jeremy’s cheeks are looking nicely flushed and the next increase in my inner sensations confirms the Viagra is definitely having an effect on him. His hand caresses my thigh under the table and he shifts closer so my hand can feel the bulge develop in his trousers.

  ‘Wow, impressive, it hasn’t even been half an hour.’

  Another increase in buzzing intensity confirms his status.

  ‘You might need to eat a bit faster. The way I’m feeling it will be impossible to keep my hands off your body for much longer. This pill is making me impatient for action.’

  ‘What, no dessert?’ Another increase. I start to squirm in my seat in an attempt to adjust to the stronger vibrations. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to sit respectably still. ‘Okay, okay. No dessert. But no more increases until we finish this. I’m starting to break into a sweat.’

  ‘I’ll do my best, but we did agree to keep pace with each other. You can’t begin to imagine how hard I’m feeling.’

  ‘Believe me, I’m getting the gist. Do you like it?’

  ‘It’s quite intense and I feel like my dick is trying to rid itself of my undies, as if it’s becoming more of an independent beast, if that were possible.’

  ‘Is everything okay for you here, sir?’ The waiter pours more vino in our glasses. We both shuffle in our seats with sexual impatience.

  ‘Yes, it has been great. Just the bill when you have a moment, please.’ It is the first time I’ve heard Jeremy a little out of control and I like it. Even his voice is wavering.

  ‘No dessert tonight?’

  ‘Not tonight. We’ll be having dessert elsewhere and we’re late. Thanks.’ The waiter registers our urgency with a full grin. With these words we look across at each other’s flushed faces and dissolve into a fit of giggles at the situation we have created for ourselves.

  As I sip the last of my vino, the intensity inside me almost doubles its strength.

  ‘Jeremy,’ I gasp, ‘god no, please.’ Tingling sensations literally emanate through my entire body toward every extremity. God, it feels so good and so bad all at the same time. He raises his eyebrows and his grin widens in delight, fully understanding the meaning behind my heavy eyelids.

  ‘Oh, Alex, just you wait. I’ll be able to tame that urge and then some with the state I’m in.

  Let’s get out of here before it is indecent for me to be in public.’ Jeremy slams some euro notes on the table and helps me from my chair. My legs quiver beneath me as I attempt to walk in a straight line under the influence of my hidden purple egg. He anchors his arm firmly around my waist to provide me with additional support, for which I’m grateful.

  ‘I may need to borrow your jacket.’ I look down at his trousers and quickly hand it over.

  ‘Holy hell, look at you. Can you even walk?’

  ‘Barely, let’s just stay close and move as fast as we can.’

  ‘It would be much easier if you turned this thing down.’

  ‘Oh, I hear you, Alex, but if I can’t turn this pill off, it’s hardly fair, is it? I know how you feel about equality of the sexes so it would be wrong on so many levels for you if I turned it down.’

  I groan at the futility of his argument and jab my elbow into his ribs in reproach. We continue shuffling awkwardly along the cobbled laneway towards the water. The half moon looks absolutely stunning shimmering in its path before us. I try to focus on its beauty to distract me from my need for urgent release; the intensity of the build-up is almost crippling me.

  ‘Oh, stuff it, I can’t wait another second.’ He leaps off the ledge without letting go of my hand and I follow, tumbling into his arms. He charges off dramatically and we end up behind a large rock.

  ‘Sorry, sweetheart but your purple friend needs to make way for a far more important priority. I can’t wait another second.’ He pins my back against the sheer rock that is still warm from the afternoon sun. Jeremy holds my face as he kisses me deeply before devouring my décolletage. With this intensity, he’ll be taking no prisoners. His other hand impatiently dives into my knickers to urgently rid me of the vibrating device. ‘Gently, careful,’ I pant as he pulls it out of me and shoves it into my handbag before allowing his trousers to fall to the ground. I’m gobsmacked at the size of him when he loosens his undies and unleashes the beast.

  ‘Oh.my.god! Does that hurt?’

  ‘It won’t in a few seconds when it’s buried inside you.’ He dons the obligatory condom in haste and tears at my clearly flimsy panties, which immediately break under his hands. I can’t take my eyes off his throbbing member and wonder whether I will be able to fully accommodate the length and girth of him. I mean, he’s always been bigger than average but this…it’s monstrous. I’m suddenly very grateful I’ve been fully prepped by the intensity of my purple friend. Seconds later, he hauls up my leg with determined urgency and immediately penetrates my core, stuffing me with a fullness so complete and so gratifying, I’m left with no choice but to shatter around him while he pumps into me with the pure force of his masculinity. I’m left breathless.

  ‘Oh god, Alexa. Hold on tight, sweetheart, I’m not done yet.’ His cock pinions my body against the rock as I grip my arms tight around his neck and he wraps both my legs around his waist. In this position he attempts to control his raspy breathing as his hands grab the flesh of my buttocks and he pulls out of me and pushes in to me more slowly, enabling me to feel every decadent inch of him. In and out, slowly and completely re-establishing his control over my body until I am weak with desire.

  ‘You know I love you, don’t you?’

  ‘Of course, Jeremy, we’ve loved each other for ages.’ He looks beseechingly into my eyes, as if he is trying to tap into my soul. It’s a weird sensation, as if he is trying to inject some romantic element into this highly-charged sexual encounter.

  ‘But I really love you, Alexa, like no other.’ I can only assume the Viagra is affecting his emotions as much as his blood flow, but at this minute, my needs are extreme.

  ‘Please, Jeremy, faster,’ I plead into his ear, while my fingernails scrape into the flesh of his chest. The excruciating slowness of this rhythm is frustrating the hell out of me, particularly after the torment of the vibrating egg and I don’t want to have to beg for release. My teeth bite into his hardened nipples in an attempt to make him understand my desperation and spur him into action.

  Oh, and finally…

  ‘Thank you,’ I groan out as he rides me as hard and fast as he ever has. My brain collides with images of the stars in the sky as his precision fingers detonate my swollen clit and I instantly dissolve into the bliss of the universe as he continues to pump into my core. We stumble to the ground, entwined together, the shattered shells and sand beneath us cushioning our fall. He remains within me, rock hard and ready for more action.

  ‘Are you serious? I need a breather.’

  ‘Sweetheart, you did this to me. It was your idea,’ In a tricky wrestling manoeuvre I find myself on top, my legs straddling his thighs and his cock still firmly planted within me. Oh, the pressure in this position is divine and I take a moment to adjust to the depth of this sensation.

  ‘You feel amazing inside me.’ I rock gently around and around, my juices smoothing my motion. God, this feels good.

  ‘You’re killing me, Alexa, I need to explode but I can’t.’ He grasps my hips to still my movement.

  ‘Really? I’m loving you like this.’

  ‘Alexa… I’m warning you…’ I continue with my grinding movements over, around, his enormous, throbbing shaft. I’m lost in a delightful haze above his body.

  ‘You won’t be loving it when you’re raw inside and out.’ Suddenly, I’m flipped over so fast that Jeremy’s instantly on top. How does he do that? He pinions my arms and bites and sucks my nipples hard as he again pumps into me. I cry out at the piercing pai
n and my back arches dramatically in response. My nipples are definitely hardwired to my clitoris and the sweet agony is intense. Oh, good lord. It’s hard and it’s fast and it’s hot, carnal sex. This time I can’t temper my voice as my continuing whimpers turn into full-blown cries of ecstasy, completely ignoring the fact that we are far from the privacy of our hotel cave. His mouth and tongue instantly close in on mine, equally as hungry and dominating as his member inside me, he ravishes my throat and stifles my orgasmic screams. I reunite with the stars again as his fingers continue to silence my lips and his mouth massages my breasts. I am utterly lost beneath the presence of this masculine hunk of physicality, my body a mere plaything to use as he desires —

  and I love that he can do this to me, and does, as often as he pleases. I eventually notice that his giant penis is not in the least deflated after our recent activity. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, still rigid as hell and raring to go — inside me. Oh, dear god, what have I done? I let out a groan in recognition of this fact, as I flop my head back, feeling rather fatigued by the force of our sexual rampage.

  ‘Oh, sweetheart. Will I have to carry you back to our cave?’ Moments pass in my delirious state until I feel the hollow inside me as he attempts to pack himself ineffectively back into his trousers. I can’t help but stifle a giggle.

  ‘You think it’s funny, do you?’

  ‘Well, it is a bit. I can’t believe you are still that engorged after all our activity.’

  ‘I can assure you, our activity has only just begun, Alexa.’ He straightens my dress over my now panty-less arse, hands me my handbag and jacket and scoops me up in his arms, wasting no time getting back to our room. Such energy, it really is astonishing, even for Jeremy! He quickly undresses himself and I swear his erection must be getting painful. Even I’m feeling a little bit sorry for him; at least my sexual desire has now been sated considerably. His eyes are still carnal with desire as I register he is honestly ready to go again, frustration and lack of release definitely taking their toll on his patience.

  ‘Maybe a cup of tea, a glass of wine?’ I try to prolong the inevitable.

  ‘Maybe me, inside you, now!’

  I’m on the other side of the table as he lurches around to grab me. I dodge in the nick of time and run towards the bathroom. Unfortunately, his steps are bigger than mine and he catches me, scooping my legs from beneath me and catapulting me onto the bed. I scream in shock and anticipation. My dress is discarded in seconds, the virility of his naked body hovering above me.

  ‘You look like Eros.’

  ‘Eros in desperate need of Psyche.’

  ‘Okay then, take me however you want me.’ What can a girl do?

  He needs no more encouragement and the potent force of Jeremy and the impact of the little blue pill dominate my entire being, and most surfaces of the cave, for the next hour or so.

  ‘Hydration, required urgently.’ I can barely breathe the words out I’m so shattered by his dedicated attention to every part of my body. I feel like I’ve been pulped. Jeremy jumps up and returns with a bottle of water and a carafe of wine, happily spilling both over our bodies as we settle together naked and sodden on the lounge. He fills his mouth with wine and empties it into mine via a strategic kiss before settling, with some difficulty I might add, my head and shoulders on his lap. I can feel his erection against the side of my head but, thankfully, not like it was before. I open my mouth for more and he tries to aim the stream of water from the bottle into my mouth, but is supposedly lacking his usual precision. Whatever, it’s not like I have clothes on.

  Some water makes it between my lips eventually. I can’t move, I don’t try. I’m utterly spent after such a heroic session. I’ll certainly be aching and sore tomorrow, but I’ll be far from complaining. His hand is gently caressing my hair and face and I snuggle into the softness of his touch, it feels serene.

  ‘So you really are going to settle down and move back to Oz?’

  I wasn’t expecting this conversation to reoccur.

  ‘Hmmm, well, yes. I think so. It had to happen at some stage. Life can’t be one big party all the time.’ I look up into his eyes; they look far away.

  ‘I won’t get to see you nearly as often.’

  ‘I know, which won’t be great.’

  ‘Things will be quite different between us, not like this.’

  ‘Yeah, more than likely. I’ll miss this.’

  ‘Hmmm, me too.’

  I must have dozed off to sleep because when I wake up, I’m in bed and alone. I find a note on the table.

  ‘Can’t sleep, gone for a drink. Back later. J xo’

  For some reason I’m worried about him. He seemed really forlorn during our last conversation before I dozed off. I whip a brush through my hair, dab on some lip gloss, throw a light summer dress on and head to the bar to see if he is okay. I’m as tender as all hell as I gingerly take each step knowing his penetration has done this to me, and I mentally note that when it comes to Jeremy, there is absolutely no need for Viagra. I could well be battered and bruised tomorrow even though he didn’t hurt me. I liked the feeling and bizarrely enough, the idea that his passion could physically mark me actually turns me on more than I imagined. As I round the corner to the open entrance of the bar, I see him in the company of two overtly friendly females who look very pleased to be sharing themselves with Jeremy and his chemically-enhanced erection. I hesitate for one last look at my non-committal, playboy best friend and decide, at that moment, that I am making the right decision in being with Robert and will at last have some relationship security in my life. After all, I can’t be hanging around playing games with Jeremy forever.

  ‘Dr Blake, excuse me, Dr Blake?’

  ‘Oh, sorry, yes?’ I am instantly returned to the here and now.

  ‘Do you have any other queries before we proceed?’

  ‘Ah, no, oh, actually yes. I do. I don’t want my eyes covered. I need to be able to see. At all times.’

  For some reason I feel like she gives me a knowing smile before responding. ‘When you are in our clinical facility there will be nothing that inhibits your vision unless you request it. There will only be one point where you will be required to be in darkness, and that is in transit to our facility. We shall let you know when it will occur so you can be prepared.’

  ‘Right, okay.’

  ‘Anything else?’

  ‘And the purple pill? You will want me to take it?’

  ‘Naturally, but the choice will be yours when the time comes. Rest assured, it is perfectly safe. And of course, your professional opinion on its effectiveness will be greatly appreciated also.’

  It’s not like I haven’t heard that before! I feel light-headed and slightly ill thinking about what I’m signing up to. I can’t help but ask one more thing.

  ‘Madame Jurilique, may I ask, have you tried it?’

  ‘Oh, indeed I have, Dr Blake. For drugs such as this, I believe it is imperative for our executives to be able to experience what we are developing first-hand, from a marketing perspective at the very least. Therefore, I can unequivocally state that I believe women the world over will be more than satisfied with the results — at least they have been to date.’ Her face looks as if she is lost in a very pleasant memory as her eyes glaze over. I can’t help but stare at her in shock as she slides her fingers languidly down her neck and chest towards her breast. Good grief, this just gets more bizarre by the second. She returns from her reverie and states in a crisp voice, ‘Hopefully that is everything, Dr Blake? Please sign the amended documents.’ She indicates the contract before me.

  Louis and Frederic enter the room and stand either side of me. I sigh before initialling the changes and signing my life away, knowing that the validity of such a contract under these circumstances is questionable at best. At least Xsade have given me the courtesy of a discussion and the commitment that by the end of the week, I will be out of here. But heaven knows what is ahead of me in the next three days.
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  ‘Well done, Dr Blake, I hope you have no regrets. We shall look after you.’ I’ve heard that before, too. She shakes my hand as if we are concluding a momentous deal, which I suppose we are in a way; my hand feels weak in her firm grasp. ‘Louis will show you back to your room, and the good doctor shall be with you shortly to make arrangements for your travel.’ I stand and follow Louis to the door. ‘And one more thing, Dr Blake’ — I turn to face her — ‘I’m sure you will enjoy yourself rather more than you are expecting, if you just give yourself permission to do so.’ She smiles broadly and turns away. Jeez, just how much do they know about me? At that, Louis closes the door to the office and I’m returned to my room.

  My bag is packed and the room is made up as if I have never been here. My gut twists in my stomach as I stare aimlessly out the window again, worrying at my bracelet, my one contact with Jeremy who I’m still not sure is my friend or my foe in relation to all this experimentation. I’d give anything to talk to him now and sort all of this mess out once and for all. I just don’t know what’s ahead of me or whether I’m doing the right thing. I continue to look out the window silently calling out, Jeremy, what have you done to me? Where are you?

  Drug companies, who needs them? I suppose we all do in this day and age, but at what cost?

  I can’t help but think that it’s all Jeremy’s fault that I’m even here, but also can’t deny that deep in my heart, I still want to love him and know that he loves me. Even when I’m dealing with this.

  If only he could make the heartache go away. The back and forth of my thoughts makes me feel confused and numb. Once again, I’m placed in the irrevocable position where I have no choice but to go with the flow.

  ‘Ready when you are, Dr Blake.’

  Jeez, will I ever be ready for this? There is no need for me to pick up any bags given the service provided by everyone around me, so I obediently follow Louis and Fred down the spiralled staircase. I absently wonder whether I will ever return to this chateau but I doubt that I will. I enter into a small room off to the side of the enormous arched entrance doorway, where the good doctor (or perhaps the bad doctor, who knows?)…is patiently awaiting my arrival. My palms instantly moisten as he greets me and I see an injection and some additional vials waiting on a white linen cloth on the desk.