Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  Music played and the crowd got up and danced. The atmosphere was relaxed. Sangria is deadly; it creeps up on you when you least it expect it. Adriana and Elijah where on the dance floor. Eric was teaching the tourists how to do the Macarena, which I had to admit was worth watching. Nikki and Rocky disappeared but their belongings were still here, a quickie in the bathroom no doubt.

  “Leexxxxxx,” Charlotte slurred her words as she came and sat on my lap.

  “Charlotte, you’re drunk.”

  “No I’m not!” Adamant that she wasn’t, she continued. “I’m just really really really happy, you know?” she smiled as she took another drink.

  “Enough sangria for you.” I pulled the glass away but she whined.

  “Nooo, Leexxx… Look I’m fineeee. See, I even like you right now.”

  “So you didn’t like me before?” I teased.

  “Nooo I hated you...hated you for leaving me alone…leaving us.”

  “You hated me, Charlotte?” I asked cautiously. She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me in close. She may have been drunk but she still smelled like Charlotte, my girl.

  “Of course I hated you…but now I like you again.” She kissed my forehead then smiled.

  “What do you mean by us, Charlotte?”

  “You and me, us.” Her tone changed. “Let’s dance, please Lex!”

  She jumped off my lap and dragged me onto the dance floor. We danced and she held onto me, really tight. She sang to me and I sang back to her. It was our only way of speaking to each other. I can’t even remember what the song was because I was so lost in this moment with her. The band announced it was the last song of the night so what did they play? Whitney Houston. I let Charlotte have her fun with the girls as they danced all 80s like to the music. I walked back to the table and found Eric, Rocky and Elijah laughing while looking at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Why can’t you guys just kiss and make up already?” Eric laughed.

  “Or kiss and fuck already,” Rocky chimed in.

  “Oh wait, too late, you guys have already done that,” Elijah chided.

  “Funny, you guys. Since the three of you are so interested, why don’t you ask Charlotte the same questions?”

  “Dude, she’ll have my balls if I ask her that!”

  “I thought Nikki already wore those as earrings,” I sarcastically answered.

  “OHHHHH SNAP!” Eric cheered.

  “Sorry man, but he has a point. Why the fuck are you so whipped anyway?” Elijah joked.

  “Dude, my wife’s hot! She’s my baby-momma plus she’s as kinky as shit in the bedroom. There was this one time—” Nikki came up behind him and pinched his ear like a naughty first grader.

  “What were you saying about me?” she huffed.

  “Uh nothing…that you are beautiful…a great mother and a gentle person.”

  Eric almost spat out his sangria. I hid my laughter behind the wine glass I was holding. Elijah tried his best to keep a straight face but he was failing miserably.

  “I’ll deal with you later,” she answered in a commanding tone. Rocky’s eyes lit up; damn, he was right about the kinky shit.

  “OK, I’m outty you guys,” Eric chirped. “My friend texted me and turns out Tyler Beckford was seen at a club. I’m just waiting to find out where.” He continued texting on his cell, faster than the speed of light. Seriously, young folk and social media these days. I knew Tyler was at the club. I ran into him last week and he asked me if he could bring a few girls with him. The more the merrier, I said. If he was there, paparazzi would be there which meant more publicity for the club.

  “After Dark. He’ll be there in about an hour in the VIP area. Tell them your name. I’ll put you on this list.” I took out my cell and texted Antonio who was head of security tonight.

  “Lex, I love you to infinity and beyond. Oh em gee!”

  “Just don’t hug me and get all Brokeback Mountain on me.”

  “As much as I would love to, Charlie would chop my wang off. And I quote: ‘He is mine, so all those fucking women and men better back off.’”

  I’ll admit hearing those words fed my ego. Calling me hers, I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Except for her to actually say it to my face when she wasn’t drunk or in the middle of an impending orgasm. Eric said goodbye and thanked me again, going in for the hug anyway.

  Charlotte and Adriana came back to the table. It made me smile that she looked happy. Or maybe the word I was looking for was relaxed. She wasn’t uptight like she usually was.

  “You ready to go, babe?” Adriana asked Elijah.

  “Ready when you are, princess,” Elijah murmured.

  “Dude, I ain’t the only one without balls!” Rocky chuckled.

  “What can I say? I’m the luckiest guy alive…with no balls.” Elijah laughed.

  Adriana snuggled by his side and said goodbye to everyone. Then she quickly pulled me aside. “Are you OK, Lex?”

  “Yes I am, worry wart. Please take Elijah home and do whatever it is you young kids do these days.”

  “Well, actually we were thinking—”

  “Adriana, it’s an expression. I don’t want to know.”

  She hugged me tight. “I love you big brother.”

  “Love you too, lil’ sis.”

  She may have been a royal pain in my ass but I couldn’t have asked for a better sister. I didn’t know how I would function without her sometimes. She also came to the rescue whenever I needed her and she was the only one who would put up with all my shit.

  “Charlie, you wanna come home with us?” Nikki asked.

  “Uh, no thanks. You kinky fuckers will kill my buzz.”

  “I’ll take you home,” I offered.

  “I think she’s safer with us,” Nikki argued.

  “Since she is my friend I’m sure I can get her home safely.” I stressed the ‘friend’ part since Nikki was such a fucking bitch.

  “Babe, he can take her. So, tomorrow night, yeah? Yankees stadium?”

  “I’ll send a car to your place and we can go together.”

  “Sweet, bro!”

  They said goodbye and I took Charlotte’s hand as she struggled to walk. Her eyes were glassy, but she still looked so beautiful. I just prayed she wouldn’t puke all over me.

  “I can take myself home, you know… This isn’t the first time I’ve partied like it’s 1999.”

  I didn’t say anything. There was no point. We walked outside and I hailed a cab. I managed to get her inside after an incoherent argument about being an independent woman. I gave the driver her address and we were on our way.

  It was only a fifteen-minute cab ride and part of me felt curious, I would finally see the place she lived in. I knew that no matter what I saw it represented her. It may have been only fifteen minutes but she was passed out by the time we got there. I carried her out of the cab and to the entrance of her building. Her doorman was a pleasant old man who greeted me as soon as we arrived.

  “Ahh, Miss Mason, what trouble has she gotten herself into?” he chastised.

  “I’m sorry, sir. Would you mind letting us in? I don’t feel comfortable rummaging through Charlotte’s purse, you know women these days with all the junk they carry. Plus I don’t want to wake her.”

  “Here’s the spare. Would you kindly bring it back down on your way out?” He handed me the key. He must know her real well, I thought.

  “Thank you. Of course I will.”

  We arrived at her floor and I managed to open her front door and switch on a light. Before I could stop and take it all in, I managed to locate my way through the hallway until I reached what I could only assume was her bedroom. I opened the door and my assumptions were correct. Her perfectly made bed sat in the middle of the room. I gently laid her down, sliding her shoes off and covering her with her blanket. She lied there peacefully, curled in a ball. Her gentle breathing was the only sound I could hear. She looked peaceful…and breathtaking.
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br />   My eyes moved around the room. It felt warm, decoratively speaking. She had a large vanity with all these perfumes and girly shit perfectly positioned and neatly organized. Shit, she was just as fucking anal as me. On her nightstand were a lamp, iPod dock, and a book…Fifty Shades Freed. The room was slightly lit so I opened the page that was bookmarked.

  Fuck, it was like porn. I chuckled slightly. This dude had nothing on me. Shit, I was starting to sound like Rocky. I placed the book down before it caused some sort of problem for the wood that had to be restrained several times tonight. I placed her bag on her nightstand and took out her cell in case she needed it. Placing it on the dock to charge I noticed the text that sat on the main screen.

  You know we’ve got something good, Charlie. You even said it yourself in your office on Thursday. You know where to find me. I love you, Charlie Mason. I want you to be my wife, don’t ever doubt that.

  What the fuck? So the day after I fought with her she runs to him again. I couldn’t stop myself, I went into her Inbox. Her messages were there, from Nikki, Eric, Adriana, but then I found his name. The trail wasn’t too long but it had enough to read the last message he sent to her and her response.

  Happy birthday, Gorgeous. Sorry I can’t make dinner tonight but I’ll be free afterwards. The batcave is ready…and so am I, baby. I just want to taste you again, feel myself inside you. Stay over again and just maybe you’ll get breakfast in bed, just the way you like it.

  I sat there, head bowed clutching the phone. My heart was racing; I couldn’t even comprehend what I was reading. Was she still fucking him? I wanted to shake her and wake her up and ask her directly. I had to read her response.

  Thank you... Alfred got the night off again? Let’s see if I survive a night of Eric’s shenanigans.

  At least her response wasn’t so inviting. I wanted to scream…like a fucking girl. Then beat the shit out of him, but instead I rummaged for every bit of patience I had and placed the phone back or else I knew I wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t only the anger that was taking over me; it was the jealously. That he touched her, that he had been inside her and that he got to wake up with her. Something I had never done to this day. Even back in the day we were always trying to be discreet. Not once did I have the honor to hold her in my arms all night and wake up beside her. This was too much for me to handle. I was not thinking rationally therefore I needed to leave before I did something I would regret later.

  I stood up to walk away as she murmured random words. Her last words stopped me.

  Lex, I love you… Please don’t leave us.

  Us, there was that word again. I love you... How I longed to hear the words come out of her mouth. I wanted it to be real; I wanted her to look me in the eyes when she said it. It may have been seven years since I last heard it but the words still did something to me. I sighed as I walked out of the room.

  I stopped in the living room to take in the surroundings. It was very cozy, very Charlotte. She had a ton of books, probably more girly porn books. She had a wall filled with frames. I walked over and looked at each picture. She looked happy in every one of them. Not like the miserable girl I supposedly left behind. There was one black and white photo that captured my interest. She was laying her head on the lap of an older lady. They were sitting on a porch swing however Charlotte was lying down. She was covered with one of those homemade crocheted blankets. She looked gaunt, her eyes were black but there was a hint of a smile. The older lady had her hand on her cheek. It must be her grandmother that she spoke about. I knew now by looking at this picture how much pain she was in to lose her. I was a failure; I failed US as she put it. It was one of those moments I wanted to hide away and deal with it with my good old friend, Jack Daniels. Nothing I could say or do now would ever take away the pain I caused her.

  I couldn’t do this anymore, just fucking. I wanted all of her but I didn’t know how to fix this even though I thought I did. I needed a break from us, to clear my head and think about the right way to make us one again. There was no doubt that being around her caused a massive problem—we either argued or fucked. I closed the door to her apartment, my heavy heart riddled with guilt.

  I don’t know what time it was but the empty bottle of bourbon next to me reminded me how I spent the night after I returned to the hotel. My head fucking hurt like hell. The sound of my cell woke me; I reached over with much pain and grabbed it from the floor where it must have fallen. It was midday and the text was from Charlotte.

  Thank you for taking me home, Lex.

  She wasn’t angry that I took her home but my irrational thoughts wondered if she would see Julian today. My head throbbed when I thought of it. Don’t go there, Edwards. I may have in a drunken manner last night contacted Bryce with personal details on Julian. I also may have asked him to do a background check. I needed to know who I was dealing with. In the heat of the moment my actions seemed fair but now I wondered if I’d stooped too low.

  No. Lex Edwards did things for a reason. I did whatever I had to do to make sure she became mine again. As for her text, I didn’t respond because for now I had nothing to say. I had no plan, I had no control and I couldn’t fix this right now. I couldn’t deal with this today. I changed into my sweats and hit the gym much to my body’s disapproval. Tonight I was going to meet Rocky for the game; a guy’s night was just what I needed. No Charlotte, I told myself. Just for tonight.

  If only the universe was on my side.

  Chapter 23

  Charlie

  May2005

  “OK sorry, I promise I’m listening now. So who’s going to the concert tonight?” I asked for the hundredth time.

  After what happened last week my head was so far up my ass. I hadn’t spoken to him despite his numerous attempts to contact me so he could explain what Adriana told me she saw. What was there to explain? He was caught fucking his wife on the piano two minutes after I walked away. I didn’t need an explanation, it was an epic fail in my eyes and that night skull-tattoo guy and I made out for like an hour on the beach while I was completely drunk on some concoction. He wanted more but I used the good old ‘Aunt Flow’s painting the town red’ excuse.

  “Me, Elijah, Logan, Jennifer, that chick from English class with the huge rack...”

  “You mean Lily?”

  “Yeah that’s her name.”

  California showcased the best upcoming new talent once a year and the concerts always went off. It was a four-hour drive so Dr. Edwards organized a room for us at a posh hotel next door which was the only reason my dad allowed me to go.

  “And what about your—” I cleared my throat, pretending to pass it off as a nasty cough, “—brother?”

  “He and Samantha have some event to go to.”

  Like a couple. OK, I was fucking pissed. As much as I hated him right now, there was that tiny part of me that wanted to see him so he could beg me to forgive him. This was not the right frame of mind to be in. I had filled out a survey and read numerous articles in Cosmo magazine and they all came up with the same answer: he’s a fucking jerk so leave his sorry ass now before you end up being the fool. Yep, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Well, unfortunately the fool was sitting in Adriana’s room still thinking about him and how much I missed him.

  I began flipping through Adriana’s magazines, my mind really not focusing on them but rather the pinboard above her desk. The photos were scattered everywhere, a ton of us, but it was the ones of Alex that caught my attention. How could one human being be so fucking photogenic in every photo? He was like a goddamn male supermodel. Did I really have it that bad? How could just a photo make me go weak in the knees? I looked at the one of Alex and Samantha on their wedding day. I felt the knots starting to form in my stomach, reality creeping its way in as I examined his expression. He loved her, right? Otherwise why would he marry her and fuck her on the piano?! There it was again, anger rearing its ugly head.

  “I love that photo of them,” Adriana sighed.
/>   “How did they meet?” I asked.

  “In college, first year I think. You know my brother, he was a man-whore here in Carmel. I’m surprised he settled down. I don’t know how she did it but she did.”

  Way to go for asking that question. Alex was a man-whore. I can’t say I really paid attention back then but if I could feel any smaller right now I’d be a goddamn ant.

  “She’s nice,” was all I could manage to say.

  “Yeah she is. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like her but sometimes I think she asks too much of him. Almost like its back to 1950 where women stayed home making pies and leaving them on the window sills to cool down while the men brought home the bacon.”

  “Maybe he likes that… You know, that whole I’ll be the caveman you be the cavewoman,” I mumbled.

  “I guess…maybe… It’s just that Alex is not like that. Yes, he is my brother and annoys the fuck out of me but deep inside he is such a kindhearted guy. He would never hurt anyone intentionally and he would never treat a woman that way. Sure, he fooled around in high school but who didn’t?” Adriana walked over to her stereo and cranked up the latest Rihanna song. As we both sang our lungs out, a knock on the door echoed through the room. I was lying on Adriana’s bed throwing a rubber ball hitting the roof as it rebounded back to me. Yes, I was that frustrated.

  “Adriana. You have someone here to see you.” His voice made me lose my catch, the ball rolled over to his feet. “It’s Logan,” I heard him grit his teeth. I sat up as he looked at me, annoyed. What the fuck did I do? I wasn’t the one fucking my wife on the piano!

  “Sweet. Char, grab your things and let’s go. I call shotgun!” she cheered.