Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  I quietly gathered my things and my cell trying my best not to make eye contact as he stood in the doorway blocking the entrance. You could cut the tension with a fucking chainsaw in here. I was praying he would leave so I could exit without having to walk past him.

  “C’mon, the concert starts in a few hours and we need to get a good spot. Thank God Logan is driving so I can be car DJ.”

  I was looking forward to Adriana being car DJ but it annoyed the fuck out of Logan. Their arguments over petty things provided good entertainment while slumming it in the back.

  Alex stood still by the door, and I had no choice but to walk past him. As I made my way to the door careful not to make any physical contact, he quickly held onto my arm.

  “Did you invite him tonight?” he asked bitterly.

  “What’s it to you? Go back to fucking your wife.” I pulled my arm away and bolted down the stairs.

  Logan greeted me with a huge grin on his face, pulling me into one of his bear hugs. As he suffocated me in his chest which by the way smelled like man sweat, Alex walked slowly down the stairs. His face said it all. I was afraid Samantha would notice but instead he mumbled something about someone using all the soap in the bathroom.

  Samantha laughed. “Poor baby. If soap’s your biggest problem, I’m sure mommy can refill the bottle for you next time.”

  Adriana laughed along with her. I placed my head down, not smiling. This wasn’t about the soap, I wanted to yell. It was time to leave which I was grateful for. It was way too awkward in there and I was still pissed off at him.

  It took exactly five minutes and twenty-one seconds before my cell buzzed. I was sitting in the back of the car by myself. Logan was telling Adriana off for putting on Holiday by Madonna.

  You didn’t answer my question.

  I sat there quiet for a few moments, not knowing how to respond.

  I don’t need to explain myself to you. I don’t have a ring on my finger. Please stop texting me. I get it, Alex. It was fun while it lasted. Have a nice life.

  “Charlie, c’mon!” Logan shouted.

  I shook my head to focus. “What, Logan?”

  “Please tell Adriana we are not listening to Immaculate Collection all the way to the concert,” he whined.

  I laughed. I had no say in this matter, and to be honest I loved that CD. My cell buzzed again. I was nervous to look. I didn’t know what I wanted him to say. Was there anything he could say that would change how I felt?

  We need to talk properly. I had no choice, Charlotte.

  Sure he did. You always have a choice. I don’t know what was coming over me but I wanted to shut it out, just for tonight. To forget that I was seeing a married man who also happens to be my best friend’s brother. Forget that I told the man who has consumed me to go have a nice life.

  It took us a few hours to get there, constant bickering in the car and a thousand pit stops because Logan decided to drink a Big Gulp as we left Carmel. I couldn’t have been any happier as the crowds surrounded me, the music was playing and I was being your typical eighteen-year-old. We met up with Elijah and the rest of the group. It was going off and I loved every moment of it. The crowd danced, people cheered, the bands would rotate and we were having fun, no worries, no drama just pure unadulterated fun. Logan and I would dance, nothing sexual this time, just laughter and fun. Just like in elementary school.

  The concert ended and we decided to grab a bite to eat, go back to the hotel and change. I shared a room with Adriana but of course she bunked with Elijah. If Dr. Edwards found out, he would kill her and I would be her accomplice therefore my dad would kill me.

  I wore a black dress that Adriana and I picked out a few weeks earlier. I didn’t normally do dresses but I let this one slide. I wore it with a pair of black strappy heels which if Dad saw he would have a fit. I applied a little bit of lip gloss and let my hair loose down my back. I would forget, I chanted to myself. Just for tonight, I would be Charlie. Alex did not exist.

  The club was packed; every teenager at the concert was here. It was an under-21 club so no alcohol of course but it didn’t stop the bumping and grinding that was going on. Adriana was lost somewhere on the dance floor rubbing her ass against Elijah. Get a room, I wanted to yell but they had one and for tonight I would sleep with headphones. Logan was chatting with some other boys from Carmel that had turned up. I hung out with a few girls I knew till a tall lean guy stood next to me. He was cute, he reminded me a bit of Leonardo DiCaprio. Nothing wrong with that, right, when in Rome! Unless of course he wanted to take me on board a boat and then I’d be outta there like shit off a stick.

  He smiled at me, I smiled back. Leaning in, he whispered in my ear, “I don’t do cheesy lines but I love this song. You wanna dance?”

  Like I said he was cute, and it was just a harmless dance. It wasn’t like I had a ring on my finger and went to bed every night with the person who I made a vow to spend the rest of my life with. I grabbed his hand and we danced to a few songs. He was a good dancer, smooth, and I moved my body enjoying the thud of the beats.

  There was this force: it pulled me, and I knew someone was watching me. I searched around the room; the bodies were crammed in, everyone busy in their little world. I tried to focus again without being rude to Leo.

  I felt that familiar pull, but I couldn’t see anything, so clearly it was my stupid imagination. I continued dancing with Leo till those emerald green eyes found me, standing in the corner, watching me. OK, imagination, maybe you’re not so stupid. I excused myself; thankfully Leo was gracious enough and moved onto another girl who was eye-fucking him right beside me. I walked over to him unsure of what to say but wary of my surroundings and of who could be watching. He stood in front of me. His eyes were dark; it didn’t matter that the club was too dark to tell for sure. I could sense it.

  The music blared so he leaned into my ear. “You didn’t answer me.”

  I sighed. Because I fucking missed him and wanted to kiss him right here, right now. Restraint, who would have thought I was so good at it?

  “Yes, I invited him. He is my friend. Actually he is one of my best friends.”

  “Charlotte, I’m sorry. She kept asking me questions about you and I panicked. She wanted to know why I hadn’t touched her, she wanted to know if it was because of someone else. I didn’t want to do it, she made the first move but I thought it would get her off my back. We didn’t continue. I still haven’t fucked her since before you. You have to believe me.”

  I sighed, because I did believe him and I hated that I believed him. Adriana had said it loud and clear: he was a man-whore. So where was that straight-A student brain of mine hiding? Oh yeah, down his sodding pants.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  He stood there silently staring at me. I didn’t know what he was thinking and it was driving me insane. The DJ mixed the songs and started playing Hot in Here. The crowd cheered and the lights dimmed even further. It was dark, people danced, people sang and I stood still until Alex dragged me to the corner surrounded by strangers. He pulled me in close and started swaying. He placed his hands on my hips and I mirrored his movements. I wanted him so fucking bad that for a moment I didn’t care if anyone saw us. I was willing to give him all of me. Then he abruptly pushed me away. Shocked by the move, I looked around to see Adriana walking towards us.

  “Alex, you came!” She hugged her brother tight, not noticing that I was a few feet away. I was a little pissed that he pushed me away. I don’t know what I expected him to do but it hurt. Fuck, I wish this club served alcohol.

  “Have you seen Charlie?” I heard her yell over the music. He shook his head, and I shoved myself through the crowd, away from him. It wasn’t long before I felt my arm being pulled; I turned around to be greeted by Leo again.

  “Hey. So you wanna go out for a bite to eat? This place is getting crowded,” he said loudly.

  “Char! There you are. Oh hi, I’m Adriana.” She extended her hand which was odd
but being a polite guy he shook it back.

  “I’m David.”

  “You wanna come eat with us, David?” Adriana asked, shooting me a ‘you can thank me later’ glare.

  “Sounds good.” He flashed his pearly whites and reluctantly I followed them. Great, just what I needed, a pretend date that would make Alex even more hopping mad.

  Seriously, could this day suck any more?

  Chapter 24

  Lex

  May2005

  “Alex if you don’t want to be here why the hell did you come?” she asked annoyed by my lack of enthusiasm for baby talk. That’s pretty much all we were doing tonight.

  “I didn’t agree to come to the party so we could talk baby shit all night; you know where I stand on that.”

  I couldn’t get the whole Logan and Charlotte thing out of my head. I knew it was an overnight thing, and where the hell would he sleep? There were too many questions and I had no answers. She never answered my question when I texted her which really riled me. I couldn’t blame her after the whole piano incident. When she told me to go have a nice life, I refused to accept it. We weren’t done.

  Tonight I couldn’t concentrate not to mention the conversation here was boring the shit out of me. Samantha pulled me aside, digging her nails into my arm.

  “I’m over this bullshit, Alex. Get your fucking act together and act like my goddamn husband! You are embarrassing me,” she gritted.

  “I’m embarrassing you? Talking about what position is best to make a baby is what is embarrassing, Samantha.”

  “What do you want?”

  “I don’t want to be here.”

  “Then just leave,” she said and walked away.

  I grabbed my keys and left without saying goodbye. Like autopilot I drove my car to exactly where I wanted to be, with Charlotte. I knew that they were in some club because Elijah had text me to let me know Adriana was okay. I made my way to the club lucky to get in because I was twenty-three and it was an underage club. She was there, on the dance floor dancing with some dude. I stood there at the bar watching them; she finally spotted me and excused herself as she made her way through the crowd. We fought, because we were obviously both frustrated. I led her to a dark corner of the club and pulled her into me. No one could see, and I wanted her so bad. We danced and grinded for only a few minutes but it was enough to have me hard as a fucking rock until I spotted Adriana. I pushed Charlotte aside hoping she understood. It took her a moment to register before she slipped away. Adriana was happy I came and asked if I had seen Charlotte.

  “There she is. I’m glad she finally met someone…and what a hottie!”

  Adriana walked away towards Charlotte. That comment left me annoyed. He was a jerk, that’s all I knew. Adriana made her way back to me with Charlotte and that jerk in tow.

  “Alex, we are going out for a bite to eat. You coming?” Adriana asked.

  “Sure, why not.”

  We left the club and walked over to the hotel which had a restaurant on the lower level. We sat at a booth, Charlotte next to that guy, and Adriana wedged between me and Elijah.

  “The mega burger and fries look to die for.” Adriana had the craziest appetite for someone so lean.

  “I know you don’t share so I’ll get the Turkey burger,” Elijah followed.

  “I’ll have the same,” I answered.

  “Charlotte, introduce us to your friend,” Adriana insisted.

  His name was David. He talked football with Elijah as I sat there quietly watching Charlotte without being too obvious. Moments later we were interrupted by Logan as he walked in and squished himself besides Charlotte.

  “Logan, that was my pickle! I was saving that till last!” Charlotte whined.

  “Sorry Charlie...you snooze you lose,” he joked, placing the pickle in his mouth.

  “You jerk,” she mumbled.

  “Thanks Charlie, I love you too,” he said hugging her tight till she caved and smiled. I had to admit I was jealous. Jealous that they were friends, that they could openly joke with each other, hug each other for no reason and most importantly that he was her first.

  “Can you guys get a ride home? Jen’s parents had a fight so she wants to stay over my place.”

  “Alex can drive us home,” Adriana said but soon realized we would have a sleeping arrangement problem.

  “Shit Alex, can you get a room? If not maybe you can crash with Charlie. Or you can stay with Elijah.” Her suggestion was innocent but the thought of ‘crashing’ with Charlotte made me think of only one thing. Was tonight the night it would finally happen?

  Adriana and Elijah left the table leaving me alone with Charlotte and David. Fuck this was awkward, for him that is.

  “So Charlotte, did you want to go for a walk or something?” he asked, ignoring me sitting right opposite them.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to but it’s been a real long day and I—” She looked at me bewildered.

  “Sorry buddy, I can’t have her walking around Los Angeles alone with a stranger. Her father would kill me.”

  “Yeah, I totally get it. Sorry,” he said.

  He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and jotted down what looked like his phone number, then slid it to her. “Give me a call sometime, we should meet up when you’re free.” He kissed her on the cheek, said goodbye and walked out of the restaurant.

  “I assume you will discard that number as soon as we walk outside,” I said annoyed that he gave her his number.

  “Excuse me?” she asked.

  “What, you actually think you will meet up with him?”

  “Screw you, Alex! I’m not the one who said I do!” She stormed out leaving me alone in the booth.

  I walked around the hotel for a while trying to figure out what to do. I decided I would go see her and apologize for trying to stake my claim without actually having anything to back it up with when all along she was right.

  I held up my hand against the door, but with fear I pulled away. I knew that if I walked through this door right here right now, my life would never be the same. There would be no turning back; I’d be sealing our fate. I bowed my head and placed it against the door and without hesitating any longer I tapped gently. Maybe it was minutes, maybe it was seconds but she finally opened it. I could see the turmoil on her face, the apprehension that lingered. Did she know how much this actually would mean to me…to us? I followed her lead and walked into the dim lit room. It was just after midnight, the moon shone through the sheer drapes and the noise of the outside world slowly faded away. Or maybe that was because the only thing I could hear was her heart beating. She was only inches away from me yet it felt like a mile.

  “I’m sorry, Charlotte.”

  “Alex, I’m scared,” she whispered.

  I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. She smelled heavenly, intoxicating.

  “Scared?” I asked. As much as it wasn’t the moment to open up the vault of past sexual escapades, I knew I wasn’t her first.

  “I don’t know if I can stop… I mean this… Us. If we take this further where does it go? Where does it end?”

  “Just follow this.”

  I placed her hand over her heart. I had it in place so she could feel the beating of her heart. She could follow where it led her. Turning around slowly she gazed at me, her eyes pure innocence.

  “It leads me straight to you,” she said.

  I placed my hands on her face and pulled her in. Her soft pink lips caressed mine, our movements so slow that every kiss awakened a new sensation that had never been felt before. The sound of her soft moans in my mouth aroused me, but I didn’t push. I wanted to savor every moment of this night, every part of her, my Charlotte.

  Without breaking away I led her slowly to the bed. I held onto her as I laid her down. Gently I climbed beside her and continued to slowly kiss her lips. Our tongues battled softly, never stopping to catch our breaths. I slowly broke the kiss and moved towards her neck, spreading soft k
isses as she tilted her head back. She moaned softly; she was ready, more than ready. My hands trailed to her stomach, rubbing it as I listened to the sounds her body made. For a moment I thought she changed her mind but she pulled away for a mere second to pull her dress over her head. To see her chest only covered in a bra was enough to make me cum but fuck I needed to remember it was a marathon, not a sprint.

  My hands grazed her breasts, watching them in the moonlight. Making my way around to her back I undid the clasps and watched it fall around her waists. No words could ever describe how beautiful her breasts looked bathed in moonlight. The most perfect natural breasts I had seen in my life. Resistance was futile; I lowered myself so that I could take them in. She tasted like sweet heaven, and I tried to slow my movements down but I was lost, the lust was taking over and my tongue sucked on them harder, her pleasure growing as she pulled on my hair whispering slight profanities until she asked me to stop.

  “Are you OK?”

  She hesitated but only for a moment. “You are wearing too many clothes and I need you inside me, now.”

  In the quickest amount of time my pants and boxers were off as was hers. We both laid there silently admiring each other’s bodies.

  “Relax. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

  I knew I’d been blessed in the cock department so I was conscious of taking it slowly. I slid myself in, kissing her shoulder as I waited for her body to relax. She groaned, taking my hips and pushing me in further. I couldn’t believe she was in front of me, the girl who meant more to me than anyone in this entire world.

  “Charlotte,” my voice was hoarse. I tried with every fiber in my being to be patient and move slow but like a possessed human the lust and greed took over. My thrusts became faster and with every sound she made I knew she was near. I watched her face desperate for more, the force of her kisses, the way her hips buckled then slammed harder into mine.

  “Alex…I’m sorry…I can’t…I’m going to cuummm,” and I moved faster, letting her ride out our first orgasm together and it only took a second later for me to follow her lead. I bit down on her shoulder as I tried to grasp the intensity of it all. Trying to catch my breath, I held onto her tight. The sweat beads had formed on our bodies only adding to the realization of what just happened.