Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  “Shit, I should have asked you…”

  “What is it?” I asked with my head still buried into her neck.

  “To use a condom.”

  I pulled away and slowly eased myself out of her. I fell on my back but pulled her into me. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wanted to feel you. I don’t want to sour the mood but you have nothing to worry about.”

  “But you’re married, which means you sleep with someone else,” she lowered her voice.

  “Charlotte, look at me.” I watched as she met my eyes. The look of regret was written on her face. “Samantha and I haven’t had sex in months. I get tested every six months as part of hospital protocol. You are the only one I want to be with but next time we can use something if that will ease your mind.”

  “Next time?”

  My ego took a bit of a hit for a moment. Was it not the same for her? “Uh, yeah… Was it not good for you, Charlotte?”

  She remained silent. It killed me but then she spoke the words that were so powerful. Words that drew me to that place again. “Alex, I have dreamed of this moment since we ran into each other in the kitchen and nothing could ever compare to how wonderful that felt. Never in my life have I ever felt that way about anyone or shared something so intimate. But it confirmed my fears… I can’t stop. I want more. I want all of this with you. I want to feel you inside me, touching and exploring every part of my body. I want to do very dirty things to you that only my imagination has allowed me to experience.”

  “Well, I think we have a problem.” I laughed.

  “What’s that?”

  I grabbed her hand and placed it on my cock which became hard again. She moaned but this time it was different.

  “I can take care of that,” she murmured as she slid herself down under the sheets.

  Oh fuck. Her lips were wrapped around my cock and damn my girl gave the best head I had ever experienced in my life. I wanted more, again. I begged her to angle herself so that I could feel her pussy. She moved slightly to the left and low and behold her pussy was in my reach, soaking wet. I eased my fingers inside which only made her moans muffled on my cock more arousing. I slid them out rubbing my cum all over her clit. She took me in deeper. I was close, so I warned her because I was some sort of gentleman and didn’t know how much she could take.

  “Blow inside my mouth, Alex… I want to taste you.”

  I was done. Thrusting my fingers deep into her pussy one more time I came as I felt her walls contract around my fingers. She took all of me, every single drop of fucking cum she swallowed like a pro. Samantha had never done that, come to think of it none of the girls I had ever been with had. It was a fucking dream come true and I was ecstatic that I experienced it for the first time with my girl.

  “Are you OK there, soldier?”

  “You are amazing, you know that?”

  “Well it helps that I watch a lot of porn.”

  “Wait, did you just say what I think you just said?”

  Did I seriously just hit the jackpot?

  “Yes, you heard right. What? My imagination can only think so much before I need visuals.”

  I pulled her in close to me. This was perfect, we were perfect. Except for one thing: I was married. Officially I had cheated, I was having an affair and I couldn’t turn back. I had crossed to the dark side but instead of being dark it was warm, sunny, full of rainbows and naked Charlotte waiting for me with her hair fanned out on a bed of clouds while feeding me grapes.

  “I wish we could stay like this forever but I have to get dressed before Adriana barges in.”

  She reluctantly untangled herself from me and got dressed. Once she zipped up her dress, I pulled her back onto the bed which was met by a small squeal.

  “Alex, you need to go.”

  “One more minute. Please? Once I walk out that door you won’t be in my arms till god knows when.”

  It was the truth, as much as it hurt.

  “We can’t be caught. You know that right?”

  Of course I knew that. I also knew that I wanted her more than ever now and I didn’t know how I would juggle being married and being with her.

  The next morning I was sitting in the lobby with Elijah waiting for the girls to come down. I was nervous, I didn’t know how she would react after last night and was hoping that Adriana and Elijah couldn’t sense it. The elevator pinged and they walked out. Charlotte bowed her head as Adriana talked a mile a minute.

  “C’mon Charlie, was it the Leo-looking guy? You can tell me... Argghh, I’m right?”

  Charlotte remained silent. Placing their bags down she finally met my gaze with a small smile.

  “What’s going on?” Elijah asked.

  “Charlie won’t tell me who she spent the night with. It’s Leo… Just tell me!”

  “Adriana! I can’t believe you just blurted that out in front of everyone,” Charlotte snapped.

  “Who’s everyone? Elijah and Alex don’t care. Stop denying it, you have sex hair.”

  “ADRIANA! Leave it alone, please.”

  I stood there, amused with the argument that was about to go down in front of me. I knew Adriana wouldn’t let it go, she was like a dog with a bone; it was only a matter of time until she started up again. The car ride was long and somehow I was made designated driver. Probably because I was the only one who brought a car. We talked about mundane topics like movies, bands, but like I predicted it was only a matter of time until the subject was brought up again.

  “Seriously, tell me everything that happened with Leo?” Adriana asked again.

  “Adriana, drop it,” Charlotte answered, exhaustion evident in her voice.

  “What is such a secret that you can’t tell me?”

  “Fine. We did it in his hotel room. We fucked once then I left because he wanted to go again and I didn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Why not what?”

  “Why didn’t you want to go again? I mean, he was smoking hot. Sorry babe,” Adriana said looking at Elijah. He only laughed before continuing to read his textbook.

  “Because I didn’t enjoy it, Adriana. Why would I go back for seconds if I didn’t enjoy it the first time?”

  “Char, what the hell is going on with you? Logan couldn’t make you cum either. Are you sure you’re doing it right?”

  I nearly choked on the piece of gum I was chewing. This conversation had gone from annoying to interesting. Charlotte definitely had no problem climaxing. Twice last night in the space of ten minutes to be precise.

  “Maybe I just haven’t met the right guy yet. The one that pushes all the right buttons to the point that you daydream about fucking him all day every day.”

  I squirmed in my seat. Was I that guy?

  “I totally know what you mean,” Adriana responded with a grin on her face.

  I stopped the car in front of Charlotte’s house. It was torture not being able to kiss her goodbye or even talk to her in the car. She said goodbye to Adriana and Elijah before turning to face me.

  “Thanks for the ride, Alex,” she said with a slight smirk on her face.

  “Anytime,” I responded, grinning.

  I knew I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. Elijah turned to look at me with an odd expression. His eyebrow was raised and he was rubbing the stubble on his chin.

  “You had fun last night, Alex?” he asked curiously.

  “Yeah, you could say that. Nice to get out for a change,” I replied attempting to deflect any further questions as his stare began to bug me.

  “Sometimes you need change. It puts things in perspective,” he mumbled.

  Once I was home I sat there in the driveway staring at the house for a good ten minutes. Would I feel different when I walked through those doors? Would she sense that I had spent the night making sweet love to my girl? I turned the knob, my heart beating erratically. It was now or never. Scared that the regret would wash over me, I walked in and almost immediately
it felt wrong. It didn’t feel like home anymore. Home was where the heart was and that was with my beautiful, sweet Charlotte Mason.

  Chapter 25

  Charlie

  Today was officially known as birthday hangover day. I had been sitting on my couch for the last three hours watching a show about embarrassing bodies. I wasn’t really watching; it was more of a living coma but every so often something awfully horrendous would come on the screen and I would be glued to it. I stared at my cell screen a million times, the same old texts would come through from Eric, Bull’s and Adriana but it wasn’t what or who I was waiting for.

  I texted him, thanking him for bringing me home in my intoxicated state. There was a strange feeling I couldn’t quite put my finger on, the fact that he was here, in my home. Of course I didn’t recall anything. The last thing I remembered was getting up on stage and singing Pink. To say I was overwhelmed by last night’s events would be an understatement. Not only was the whole party a surprise, I had to deal with both Julian and Lex there, fucking Lex in the restroom, arguing with Lex in the restroom, dealing with a pissed Julian who just got up and left, then the emotions of the gift that Lex gave me which was still sitting on my chest. My life was in shambles and part of me now wondered if I’d pushed him away, opening up like that but he begged me to talk and I couldn’t, not yet.

  My cell beeped and I ran for the couch where it sat.

  Rocky is dragging me to the Yankees game tonight. Since your so called ‘friend’ organized this, you better be at my place at six on the dot.

  I wasn’t going to leave Bull’s in the lurch plus I really wanted to spend some time with Will since I missed his game this morning. I promised him on Tuesday I would pick him up from school and go to the game arcade. I knew I had a quiet day at work so I was able to leave early.

  Six o’clock on the dot I was knocking on the door dressed in my jeans, hoody and converse. I was taken aback when Will answered the door and hugged me tight. He never stopped talking, a mile a minute. All I heard were the words Yankees, shark project and rocky road ice cream. I have no idea how all three of those were linked but I had a whole night to figure it out.

  “Great, Charlie is here. Come on woman, let’s go.” Rocky shoved us out the door impatiently as Bull’s rolled her eyes.

  I was starting to get nervous because I had this unwelcoming feeling I had said or done something wrong last night. As I saw the black limo pulled up beside the curb I couldn’t help but feel even worse. Rocky jumped in the limo first, much to Bull’s disapproval—so much for ladies first—followed by an overly exited Will, then Bull’s and lastly me. As soon as I met his eyes there was something different: he smiled at me, a warm smile. I stopped worrying just a smidge. I sat beside him because I didn’t want him thinking I was angry or anything.

  “Hi,” he murmured beside me.

  “Hi yourself.” I smiled.

  “Hey, aren’t you the guy we ran into at the park? Charlie’s friend?” Will asked.

  “Yes you’re right. Nice to see you again. Excited about the game, buddy?” Lex grinned.

  “I am!” Rocky chuckled.

  We all laughed. I swear Will was more mature than his dad most times. We talked baseball all the way there, and I’m sure Lex was surprised by my comments.

  “Since when did you take an interest to sports? You hated all that…” he asked curiously.

  “Since I was forced to attend every game in college thanks to Miss Stalker over here.”

  “There is nothing hotter than watching your man play sports,” Bull’s quipped.

  “Mom, what does that mean?” Will asked.

  Rocky laughed and attempted to give him an answer. “It means your dad totally rocked the field and that’s why Mommy married me.”

  “Oh I thought it was because she got knocked up,” he blurted.

  “WILL!” the three of us yelled, completely shocked.

  “What? Remember that time you and mommy were having a fight because that pretty lady in the coffee shop that use to go to college with you gave you a piece of paper with her phone number? When you were fighting I heard Mommy say that if she wasn’t knocked up you wouldn’t have gotten married. What does knocked up mean, anyway?” he asked innocently.

  Lex and I looked at each other, wondering how Bull’s and Rocky were going to worm their way out of this one.

  “You see, Mommy and Daddy were very angry at each other that day and said some things that were mean. Afterwards we had a proper talk and apologized to each other. I’m sorry you heard that because it was a very silly fight,” Bull’s said as she leaned into Rocky.

  Will nodded like he understood. “But that doesn’t explain the knocked up part?”

  “Look, we’re here,” Lex announced.

  “Oh wow! Lex, will you sit next to me during the game? I want to practice my commentating just like what Daddy does.”

  “Sure thing, Buddy.” Rocky mouthed a thank-you to Lex and of course Bull’s forced a smile. That was about as good as he was going to get out of her; she was one hell of a tough chick to crack.

  The stadium was packed and of course Lex made sure we weren’t sitting in the stadium seats, we walked up to the special box seats. I sat between Bull’s and Will. Rocky was already talking Lex’s ear off about stats but Lex didn’t seem to mind so much. In fact he actually looked like he was enjoying it.

  We ordered a ton of food, hot dogs, coke, fries, and nachos…and did I mention that was just for Rocky? Will was also enjoying the game, jumping in his seat at every chance he got and asking Lex a ton of questions, like where he grew up, his favorite color, his favorite team. Even Bull’s looked like she was having fun, although her kind of fun was pointing out the hot players. We would giggle and straight away Rocky knew we were talking about the hot men. “He ain’t got nothing on me,” he would yell out every so often.

  Sometime during the seventh inning Rocky took Will to the bathroom and Bull’s joined them, leaving Lex and I alone. I was determined to not be the so-called cold bitch I had apparently become.

  “So…” we both said at the same time, then laughed. Good thing too, because it broke up the tension.

  “I’m sorry for last night. I was drunk and I don’t recall much but from what I remember I said some things to hurt you. I shouldn’t have.”

  He sighed, but he almost looked relieved. He was different, not like the controlling Lex I had grown accustomed to the past two weeks. What had changed overnight to bring back the old Alex I used to know and love?

  “Charlotte, I get it. I honestly do. I hurt you in more ways than I could have imagined. I don’t know how to make things right anymore. I don’t know what you want.”

  “Everything about us has always been unconventional. We never had a chance to be friends without getting emotions involved. That’s what I want.”

  “To just be friends?” he asked a little hurt.

  “No, I would like to start that way. I can’t promise you anything, I can’t promise what the future holds but I just want to get to know you again. I understand if you don’t want that.”

  “Actually, that sounds like a really good idea. So no more late night visits to my office?” he asked cheekily. I loved seeing him this way, so carefree, without the stick up his ass.

  “Mmm, I don’t think that’s the best idea right now. It seems to create friction between us.”

  “Yes, it seems we do get along better when I’m not fucking you on your desk.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, it seems that way.”

  The three of them returned and it wasn’t long before Lex whisked Rocky away to meet some sports commentators and other big shots in the corporate box. Bull’s and I sat there as Will moved a few rows down to wait for the players to come around so they would sign his hat.

  “I know I need to talk, Bull’s. Long story short, for now I told him we need a fresh start. We need to learn how to be friends.”

  “Agreed. I mean, yeah, I get th
at the sex is hot and shit and I don’t want to admit that he is one hot mutha fucker even though he makes my blood boil. If this is what you want Charlie, then you need to start with the basics. This isn’t high school anymore, you are both adults and seven years has passed. I would start off with magic sexual partner numbers, get that out of the way first,” she insisted.

  “I can’t ask that. Do you think I have some sort of death wish? And besides, what if he asks me?”

  “Then you tell him.”

  “Does that include blow jobs?”

  “I’ve never been so technical. I guess so.”

  “So what’s your magic number?” I asked.

  “Let’s see. There was the guy I lost my virginity to, then I dated him for a year in high school. He cheated on me so I fucked his best friend. Crude, I know. Then a few guys before I met Rocky. I think six total.”

  “And Rocky?”

  “Man-whore Rocky? He can’t even remember, I think he stopped counting after 30.”

  I laughed. “Well, he may have been like that before but damn, girl, you got your man whipped.”

  “I do know how to keep him entertained,” she boasted.

  The men returned with Rocky talking Bull’s head off about the sports crew he met and something about having lunch with them on Monday. I could see Will looked tired so they announced they were taking him home.

  “You guys take the limo home. If Lex doesn’t mind I’d like to take him out.”

  Lex looked at me, surprised but obviously happy. We said our goodbyes and I asked Lex if he wanted to take a walk through Rockefeller center. We took a cab there and started walking till Lex found a bench near where some performers were playing music. A small crowd gathered, families were happily strolling around and the tourists were snapping anything and everything in sight.