by Anna Antonia
“Okay.”
His sensual mouth ticked up at one corner. “I’ll be counting the days until it’s safe to flood you, love. Until then…”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He cupped my pussy. “Don’t you dare move from this spot. Am I making myself clear?”
Drunk on the wonderfully dirty feelings his command inspired, I nodded and closed my eyes.
“Crystal.”
Gavin squeezed my pussy. He let out another sexy groan before walking out of the bathroom. I’d bet every dollar I had that he was in search of a condom.
A stack of them in fact.
Tucked away in the bathroom, I sat there awaiting the return of my lover when the image of a beautiful little baby with Gavin’s eyes appeared in the darkness.
I dared to hold him in my mind. The happiness cleansed my spirit, giving me the dream of something so precious and rare.
Hope.
Hope that one day I’d be good enough to be someone’s mother. Hope that one day I’d be mentally healthy enough to be free and honest about who I was and where I came from. Hope that one day I’d be brave enough to tell Gavin the truth and he’d still want to keep me.
His steps echoed across the stone floor. “Such a good girl to wait for me as I asked.”
I’d wait for you forever.
I opened my arms. I’d hold onto Gavin for as long as I dared.
THIRTY-TWO
Gavin’s meeting took place in the hotel itself. I accompanied him but really wasn’t needed considering it only lasted about an hour.
Watching him work usually fascinated me. Today was different. I couldn’t wait to play tourist with Gavin.
Still, I needed to be outwardly professional and not be a brat. Work first. Play later.
“Do you think you’ll provide funding?” I asked him once we were back in our suite.
He considered his answer. “The technology looks promising, but I’m not sure if it’s really there yet.”
“They seem confident.”
“They always do,” he quipped wryly.
“But if their algorithm could really solve the ‘Traveling Salesman’ problem, Gavin, that would be huge.”
He glanced over at me. “Sometimes I forget you’re a programmer by trade.”
I didn’t want him to think too much about why I’d chosen to switch professions.
“So are you seriously considering their company?”
He didn’t answer. He only gave a noncommittal shrug.
“If you don’t jump on this someone else will buy them up. Even if their algorithm isn’t quite there it could just be a matter of time.”
“True, but buying them without further deliberation would be a decision based on scarcity and fear.” Gavin cupped my chin and gave me a delicious kiss. “Now enough about business. Let’s get started on your list, love.”
This was a surprise.
“Don’t you have other meetings scheduled?”
“No. Just the one.”
“For this morning or today?”
“For both days.”
I smiled in wonderment. “Then why are we staying here for two days?”
Gavin shook his head and kissed me again. I clung to him indecently when we finally broke apart.
“Do I have to spell it out for you? I wanted to spend some time with you.”
Sweet lust turned into sweeter joy.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You sound surprised.”
I shook my head. “No. Just happy.”
A half-truth because it never occurred to me Gavin would take precious time away from his business just to go out of town with me. Maybe during the weekend but during the early part of the week?
Even my father wouldn’t do that for Melissa and she was the love/obsession of his life.
“Good. Get changed. Since we’ll be walking around make sure you wear comfortable shoes. You did bring something like that, didn’t you?”
Pleased by my preparedness, I assured him that I did.
I ran into the bedroom and hurriedly got out of my work clothes. After changing my skirt and blouse for a pair of dark leggings, a navy blue lightweight sweater, and ballet flats, I pulled my hair into a bun.
This was closer to my normal pre-Gavin wear. Comfortable. I added several bracelets and a sparkly pin to my hair just to dress it up. Frankly, I didn’t really care what I wore but I had to keep up appearances.
Maybe that was one reason why I liked being naked with Gavin so much?
Beyond the obvious. I didn’t have to worry about things like what pair of earrings to wear with which heels.
I could just be stripped down. Something I preferred the longer I encased myself in my Axis 3 wardrobe.
Either way it didn’t matter. This was the shell I lived in while with Gavin. It was what he expected and it made me happy to make him happy.
Besides it’s not forever.
No. Now wasn’t the time to think about it. I’d have the rest of my life to dwell on it. Today I wasn’t abandoned and alone. Today I was with Gavin.
I transferred my essentials from one leather purse into a smaller mango one, double-checking to make sure it flattered my outfit. Satisfied, I rushed out to find Gavin on the phone.
He looked at me and smiled, holding up one finger while he listened to the caller. I could tell it wasn’t a business matter but rather personal. Not wanting to intrude on his conversation, I mimicked I’d be out on the balcony.
Gavin nodded his head and then turned his attention back to his call.
Waiting outside for him, I took the opportunity to again lean on the balcony and look around. I wondered who he was talking to. Not out of jealousy (definitely learned that lesson) but simple curiosity.
Okay, maybe a little jealousy. Just a little.
The minutes passed by. Five turned into ten which turned into twenty.
Getting tired of standing there, I took a seat on one of the iron chairs.
Who was he talking to? The stewardess? Marlene?
No. No. No.
I wasn’t going to let my imagination and insecurity run the show. Not only would it be inappropriate considering the length of our affair…
I winced at the choice of word but what else could I really call it? I didn’t have a right over Gavin. We hadn’t talked about being exclusive. Gavin just said he wanted to see me again and I assumed that meant one-on-one.
But maybe it wasn’t.
Maybe there was someone else in his life that just popped up on the radar? Maybe someone from his past? Someone he could take home to his parents and someone who could take him home to hers?
I crossed my arms across my stomach. Truly, I didn’t like this side of myself. I didn’t like not knowing what the right thing was to feel and do.
I had absolutely no say in Gavin’s life. Not because our…whatever this was…was so new but because I wasn’t going to be here for long.
I couldn’t.
No matter what fantasies I allowed to spin in my mind the day before.
I knew the score better than anyone. The words spoken and emotions felt after a heightened sexual experience couldn’t be trusted. I’d say and feel anything while having all nine inches of Gavin’s cock inside me.
It’s not just about sex though and you know it.
For the thousandth time, I crossed the border into dangerous territory. I had to trust in Gavin and Marlene’s promise that he didn’t do love. Nor did he really do relationships.
My attachment would be severed sooner than later. Until then I would enjoy this for what it was. Companionship and sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.
If I told myself that a thousand times, maybe I’d believe it on the thousand and first.
Hiding behind a pair of sunglasses, I was outwardly composed and at surface-ease by the time Gavin finally walked out onto the balcony.
“Sorry it took so long,” he said before brushing his lips across my powdered cheek. “That was m
y brother Adrian.”
Relief pounded hard.
“Your brother? Is everything fine?”
“Yeah. More than fine. He and his wife Victoria just had a baby. Victor.”
The news of a baby brought the forbidden image back across my mind. “How sweet. Is this their first?”
“No, they already have a daughter Adriana.”
“They must be so happy.”
I didn’t know if that was really true, but it seemed like the socially appropriate thing to say. Although considering Gavin’s words from the day before, I could safely assume the other members of his family believed the way he did and didn’t see their children the way mine did.
Disposable pawns.
“They are happy. Thrilled actually. Look, I’ll be ready to go in about five minutes if I can ask you to wait for me again.”
“Sure. Take your time.”
Gavin squeezed my shoulder once before striding back inside. I stared at the doorway long after he walked through.
If circumstances had been wildly different, I wouldn’t be here with Gavin as a lover. I’d be like the person on the other side of the phone. I’d be his sister of sorts. I’d be the one calling him with happy news and he’d be telling a girl like me “That was my stepsister Paige.”
The idea disturbed me because I still didn’t regret a thing.
You’re indeed your father’s daughter.
Gavin quickly reappeared in the doorway looking so damned delicious I could easily forget all about sightseeing and spend the rest of our trip in bed. A black t-shirt that hugged his muscles, dark wash jeans, and boots made for a heavenly temptation indeed.
I’d never seen him look this casual. I liked it. A lot.
“Ready, Paige?”
I stood up with a smile.
THIRTY-THREE
The French Quarter lived up to its famous reputation as being one of the most beautiful places in the world. I loved the buildings with its wide porches, wrought-iron railings, and colorful shutters.
One of the first places Gavin took me to was a small shop called Café Beignet. It was a long space with adorable metal tables and chairs, display cases full of Cajun seasonings and spices, all beneath crystal chandeliers. The shop smelled like heaven.
The beignets tasted like it too. They were so delicious—not quite a doughnut but made sweeter by powdered sugar. I could’ve inhaled a whole plateful. I probably would’ve if Gavin wasn’t there watching me with a half-smile.
He even took the time to wipe my mouth and chin.
“You’re like an adorable kid, Paige, eating your first beignet.”
I absolutely didn’t mind the pampering. In fact, I reveled in it. He could baby me all he wanted for as long as he wanted. Especially when he looked at me the way he did.
I could almost let myself think it was the look of love. Almost.
Later we took a streetcar over to the Garden District. As we strolled past the coveted real estate my feet slowed while my eyes took in the visual feast. The houses were incredibly beautiful with that patina of age and mystery. I would’ve happily traded in my New York apartment for any one of them.
Stopping at one gated beauty, I mused out loud, “Do you think they have a pool?”
“It’s hard to tell. Maybe. Why do you ask?”
“Because it would be perfect if it had a pool.”
“You like to swim?”
“I do. But the real reason is I always wanted to have a house with tall ceilings, a front porch, and a courtyard with a fountain and a pool. This house is exactly the kind I always dreamed of—as long as it has a pool or a place to put one.”
Secretly, I dreamed of it because I saw it on a TV show once. Happy family, books, and joy. Ever since I was little I always promised myself that if I ever got married, I’d want to raise a family in a house like this one.
The idea of a happy family was one that never did die. I wondered how many more years and disappointment would it take before that dream left me too? Especially when I didn’t let myself get close enough to a man to get pregnant?
All right, Ms. Morose. There’s no reason to think about those things now. Save it for another time, preferably when you’re alone.
How many times would I have to remind myself? I needed to live in the moment because time was dwindling. These memories would be all I had soon enough. I needed to make them happy ones.
I looked up to see Gavin studying me with the same intensity he gave a contract while looking for the loopholes and traps. That wasn’t good.
I laughed off my wistfulness and patted his arm.
“I swear I’m not hinting for you to buy me a house even though you’re a billionaire and all.”
Gavin’s eyes crinkled in a smile. He tapped my nose. “Don’t forget I’m only a billionaire about half this month, considering how my investments have been doing. But don’t you worry, sweets. I’m working really hard to make myself a full-fledged billionaire like my big brother.”
Relief that we were back on familiar ground made it easier to breathe. I snapped my fingers. “Darn! I guess I can’t take a chance that I’ll bankrupt you…yet.”
He wiped his brow and craned his head towards the sky. “Safe!”
Giggling, I bumped his arm with my shoulder. “How did your parents get so lucky having two billionaire sons?”
Gavin’s grin faded. He shrugged. “I guess you’d have to ask them.”
I could’ve cursed myself out for being so insensitive. I truly meant it as a compliment, but I’d momentarily forgotten the circumstances of his birth, murky as they were.
The public story was that Gavin was adopted by the Hawthornes. I knew differently. The day I discovered the picture Melissa had told me she’d left Gavin with his father and that he was better off living in New York.
But was he really? Did Melissa truly believe that or was that the lie she told herself just to sleep at night?
If things were so great for Gavin then why did his father pass him off as an adopted child versus his own?
It didn’t take much conjecture to figure that one out. Hawthorne Senior had an affair with Melissa resulting in a child—this wonderful man. Most likely they didn’t want anyone to know.
Did Gavin even know the truth or was he lied to? My heart thumped in pain just thinking about it.
Kissing my fingertips, I dashed them against his lips.
“I don’t have to ask them. I already know they’re lucky to have you for a son. Anyone would be.”
“Because of my hit-or-miss billion?”
“No. Because you’re the greatest guy I ever met.”
“Is that so?”
Hugging his waist, I said, “Yep!”
“You’re not just saying that to be nice?”
“Nope!”
Gavin suddenly picked me up and swung me around.
“All right, love. Your flattery just bought you a house.”
“What?” I laughed while holding onto his shoulders.
“You heard me. This is the house you want? Then let’s go buy it right now.”
Gavin set me down and then took me by the hand. He tried the front gate but it was locked. “How do you get in here? There’s got to be another way inside. Let’s go around the side of the house.”
It slowly dawned on me Gavin wasn’t joking.
“You’re serious.”
“Yeah.”
“No, Gavin.”
“Yes, Gavin.”
I dug in my heels. “No way! You can’t do that.”
“Why not?” he asked with a haughty lift of his brow. It was the same look he wore in the office when a product dared not hit its projected numbers.
“Because that’s insane!”
“Not really.”
“Well, I won’t accept it.”
“Why not? You like it. You just said you did. If it doesn’t have a pool I can get one installed.”
“Yes, I do like it, but that doesn’t mean you can buy me a
house.”
This seemed to get him to stop. Gazing at me as if I was an alien creature, Gavin took his time answering. “You really mean it.”
“Of course, I do.”
“I’m offering you your dream house, no strings attached, and you’re turning me down?”
“Yes. Who would just take a house from someone they’re not even married to? And before you think it—no. I’m not hinting for that either.”
“I know and you’d be surprised, love.”
Actually, I wouldn’t. But Gavin didn’t need to know that.
My father settled a house on my birth mother in exchange for full parental rights. I liked to think she got the chance to at least raise her later children in it. After all, it was in a nice gated community close to the ocean. Great school district too.
Somebody should’ve benefitted for the price I paid in having to grow up with Patrick Brookstone.
Trying to steer his attention away from spur-of-the-moment real estate purchases, I found a safer subject to talk about.
“Tell me about your niece and nephew.”
Gavin gave me a knowing look. Clearly, I wasn’t fooling him. I smiled, innocent as an angel.
“I’m not sure what’s there to tell. They’re babies. Adriana is six? Victor is just a few hours old.”
We continued our leisurely stroll. I tried to come up with ideas about what normal families did. Thank God for books and television.
“Are you going to go see them?”
“No. At least, I hadn’t planned on it.”
Okay, maybe he and his brother weren’t that close.
“As your PA, I can send a gift. Unless you’d like Caroline to do that instead.”
“No, that’s fine. Please pick out whatever you think is appropriate.”
“I could do that. Or we could pick one out together.” Another bout of shyness hit me. I didn’t want Gavin thinking I was angling to push into his life. “It would come from you, of course.”
“Paige?”
“Yes?”
“You overthink things too much sometimes.”
“Guilty.”
