Almost Perfect

by Susan Mallery

  “Wait a minute. Stop this.” He grabbed her upper arms. “Look at me. I’m not trying to hurt you. I never talked to Tyler about coming to live with me.”

  Maybe that was true. Maybe Tyler thought of that on his own, but he would have had help getting there. “Didn’t you tell him that if you’d known I was pregnant that you would have married me?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Didn’t you talk about all the time you’ve missed with him? Didn’t you blame me?”

  “At first. I was angry. But not recently. Liz, I want what’s best for him and that means you. You’re great with him.”

  “What was it you said that first week? That I’d had him eleven years, so you should get the rest of his childhood?”

  He tightened his grip. “No. I didn’t do this.”

  The worst part was she wanted to believe him. “I trusted you. Even when I knew what you’d done to me before, I believed in you.”

  He stared into her eyes. “Don’t stop believing in me. Please, Liz. We can make this work.” He sucked in a breath. “Marry me.”

  If he hadn’t been holding on to her, she would have fallen. “What?”

  “Marry me. It solves everything. Then we both get Tyler. It would be better for the girls, too. They could stay here with their friends. Marry me.”

  She pulled free of his grip and crossed to the sofa. After collapsing, she rested her elbows on her knees and dropped her face to her hands.

  It was too much, she thought. She was physically and emotionally drained. That was the only reason she hadn’t run screaming into the afternoon. Or hurled a lamp at him.

  Marriage as a practical solution?

  “We have a child together,” he continued. “It makes sense.”

  Of course it did. Because why would love enter into it? He’d married Rayanne because she was pregnant—why wouldn’t he marry her because they had a child together?

  She straightened. “No.”

  He sat on the sofa and angled toward her. “Come on, Liz. Why not?”

  Where was she supposed to start? “We don’t love each other.”

  Only a half truth. She loved him, but this was hardly the time to go into that.

  “We like each other,” he stated. “We get along. And it’s better for the kids. You said being a good parent was all about making sacrifices.”

  “Not those kind.” She rose.

  “Wait.” He stood. “We have to figure this out.”

  “No, we don’t. I have to.”

  “Tyler is my son, too.”

  “You’ve made that very clear—to all of us.”

  She left.

  Ethan stared after her, not sure if he should follow her or give her time to sort things out. He still couldn’t believe what Tyler had done. The kid hadn’t warned him that he was about to tell his mother he wanted to live with Ethan.

  His son wanted to live with him. Ethan couldn’t help feeling excited at the idea of really getting to know his son. They could have so much fun together—really bond. Not that he wanted Liz hurt.

  His office door opened and Nevada stood there.

  Nevada was the quietest of the triplets, the most practical. She’d studied engineering, had come to work for him and did a helluva good job. Customers liked her, the other employees respected her. When he wasn’t around, she also ran things.

  Now she stared at him with a combination of pity and amusement.

  “You really are the stupidest man on the planet,” she said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I would have thought the statement was self-explanatory.” She leaned against the door frame. “I just passed Liz and asked how she was. She said you asked her to marry you for practical reasons. Tell me that she’s lying.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  Nevada raised her eyebrows. “Then what’s it like?”

  He explained about Tyler and Liz being hurt and how getting married would solve all their problems.

  “Very romantic, too,” she quipped sarcastically.

  “This isn’t about romance. It’s about doing the right thing.”

  Nevada stared at him for a long time. “I think it’s about you getting what you want. You’re not thinking about Liz. Why does she need to marry you?”

  “Tyler needs a father.”

  “Sure. But what does that have to do with Liz?”

  “She’s his mother.”

  “Yeah. I knew that. You’re not answering the question. What does Liz get out of marrying you? It’s not like she needs a second income. Or housing. Most people get married because they’re in love and want to be together, but you already took that off the table. So why exactly should she marry you?”

  “I, ah…” He swore silently.

  Something he’d never considered. Why would Liz want to be with him? He blurted out the proposal without thinking. Because it was the right thing.

  Just like with Rayanne, he thought. Was that so wrong?

  While he knew it wasn’t, he couldn’t escape a nagging sense of having screwed up in the worst way possible.

  Nevada shook her head. “I’ll give you a hint because you’re my brother. The only thing Liz needs and wants from you is for you to love her.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  “Of course I can. It’s what every woman wants. Why else would she put up with your crap? She didn’t have to be this nice. She didn’t have to tell you about Tyler. She could have taken her nieces back to San Francisco that first night and you would never have known. Liz has been giving you chances since she got here and I’m going to guess you’ve blown every single one of them.”

  “No,” he retorted, even as he wondered if Nevada was right.

  “Here’s the thing, Ethan. You have a very limited window of time to make this right. Assuming you want to. Because if you’re trying to convince Liz to stay with you, you’re going about it all wrong.”

  Then Nevada walked out, leaving him staring after her.

  Wait. She couldn’t leave like that. He had more questions. Damn.

  As he stood alone in his office, he realized that maybe his sister’s point was that he had to figure it out himself.

  “I’m not the bad guy,” he spoke into the silence. “I’m doing the right thing.”

  But for the first time in his life, he wondered if doing the right thing was going to be enough.

  LIZ WALKED THROUGH TOWN. THERE were plenty of tourists on the street and she had to weave between them. Summer was a busy time, with visitors flooding the area to check out the wineries, hike in the mountains and spend time on the lake. To anyone who didn’t have a gaping hole in her chest, Fool’s Gold probably looked really good. She knew better. It was her own personal, living nightmare. It was the place where she’d lost both her heart and her son.

  She turned onto a residential street and reminded herself that she hadn’t truly lost Tyler. It only felt that way. He would come around. What she didn’t know was how long it would take and she wasn’t completely sure she trusted Ethan to be impartial. A part of him had to love the fact that his son wanted to live with him.

  But being a parent was about more than saying yes. It could be difficult and frustrating. There were lessons every child had to learn. If someone didn’t teach the kid right while he was young, life lessons were that much harder to grasp later.

  Would Ethan get that? Would he look past his need to connect with Tyler to what was best for the boy? Even as she asked the question, a part of her knew she was searching for reasons to be able to tell Tyler and herself why spending more time—maybe even living with his dad—wasn’t possible.

  Because the truth was, Ethan would be a great dad. He’d always been responsible. When his father had died, he’d taken over the family business. Because it was the right thing to do. He’d helped his mom, his brothers and sisters. He’d…

  She stopped on the sidewalk and replayed the words in her mind. Because it was the right thing to do. That ha
d always defined Ethan. He hadn’t loved Rayanne. He’d married her because she was pregnant. He’d claimed he would have done the same with Liz, and she believed him.

  Had Ethan ever declared himself? Had he ever truly loved anyone?

  There had been a time, when she’d been eighteen, she would have sworn he had loved her. Had she just been fooling herself? He’d admitted that he’d been too young then. Neither of them could have possibly known if they could make it. But he would have tried.

  There was more to a relationship than just giving one’s heart. There was caring and commitment and doing the right thing. There was being a good person. Ethan had all those qualities.

  But he didn’t love her.

  That was why his offer of a practical marriage had hurt her so much. Why she couldn’t accept. She loved him too much to accept a half life, even if it was the right thing to do.

  Which left her with a dilemma. What happened now?

  As there was no easy answer, she kept walking. When she got close to Denise’s house, she saw Ethan’s mother sitting on the front porch, obviously watching for her.

  “Tyler told me what happened,” the other woman said as Liz approached. “I’m so sorry.”

  Liz found herself fighting the need to give in to tears. “Me, too. It’s not that I mind Tyler spending more time with his dad…” She had to stop and clear her throat.

  “It’s that he’s rejecting you along the way,” Denise summarized softly, then patted the step. “Come sit down.”

  Liz joined her. She felt sick and confused and lost.

  Denise moved close and put her arm around her. The gesture was oddly comforting.

  “This isn’t about you,” Denise began. “I know it feels like it, but it’s not. You’re a great mom. We can all see that. We don’t even have to watch you with Tyler to get it. Just being around him tells us. He’s bright and confident and curious. Open and friendly, but with plenty of common sense. He cares about other people. You did that. You raised a great son.”

  Liz pressed her lips together and nodded. Her throat was too tight for her to speak.

  “He’s also still a kid and he has no idea how he’s hurting you. He genuinely can’t see that.”

  “I know,” she whispered, then had to wipe away several tears. “I keep telling myself it’s not about me. He’s angry about his dad and Ethan is new and exciting.”

  “Exactly. If only knowing made it hurt less.”

  Liz looked at her and nodded.

  “Oh, honey, I wish I could make it better,” Denise told her.

  “Thanks.” She swallowed and tried to get the tears under control. “Want to guess Ethan’s response?”

  Denise sighed. “I do love my son, but he’s just a man, so I’m going to guess he was an idiot.”

  “He thinks we should get married. That will solve all the problems. Isn’t it practical? I’ll stay here and he can see Tyler all the time and hey, even help with the girls.”

  As soon as she spoke, Liz realized it was probably a mistake. Denise was Ethan’s mother. Of course she would take her son’s side. No doubt the other woman would enjoy having her grandson around more.

  Denise sighed. “Is this where I tell you Ethan takes after his father?”

  Liz glanced at her. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

  “The words practical and marriage don’t belong in the same conversation. Nothing about marriage is practical. It’s wonderful and difficult and amazing and demanding. Besides, no one wants a proposal like that. We want to hear that the man in question is madly in love with us. We want to be swept away. Not compared to a really good microfiber dust cloth. Attractive and practical. That’s going to make your heart beat faster.”

  Liz leaned her head against the other woman’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered, wishing she could have known Denise years ago. Maybe if they’d had a chance to form a relationship, things would have been different. She could have come and talked to her and—

  Liz straightened, then scrambled to her feet. “You’re not surprised he proposed. You know we’ve been…” Sleeping seemed like the wrong word. “Seeing each other?”

  Denise laughed. “Yes. It’s fairly obvious. Ethan is many things, but subtle isn’t one of them. He was furious at first, but now you’re getting along. I assumed things were progressing.”

  Denise paused. “I wasn’t sure at first. I always felt so badly about how you grew up. I could see how difficult it was for you. I have three daughters myself. Yet I couldn’t seem to reach out to you. I never knew how or what to say.”

  Liz hugged her arms across her chest. “That doesn’t matter now.”

  “It matters a lot. All your life the people you care about have hurt you. Including Tyler. Now my son proposed in a way designed to make sure you know you’re not special to him.” Her voice softened. “For what it’s worth, I think he does care about you.”

  Liz appreciated the support, but the words didn’t change anything. “Caring isn’t enough.”

  “I know.” Denise looked as if she was going to say more on the subject, then sighed. “Please don’t take this wrong, but I think you should let Ethan have Tyler for the rest of the week and through the weekend.”

  Liz froze. She eyed the door and wondered if she could go inside and grab her son and get out before Denise stopped her.

  “Ethan and Tyler both have an unrealistic view of their relationship,” Denise continued. “I have six kids. I know what it’s like and sure, from the outside, it’s easy. He doesn’t have a clue as to the reality. Tyler doesn’t, either. Maybe you should let them find out.”

  “I can’t,” she breathed.

  Denise rose and moved toward her. They stared at each other.

  “I give you my word Tyler will be safe. Ethan isn’t going to disappear with him. You know that. Let them find out just how boring everyday life can be. Your son loves you. Give him a chance to miss you.”

  The words were impossible to hear, but Liz knew they were accurate. Her gut told her this was exactly what had to happen. Not that she could imagine even a day without her son. Although he’d been gone overnight before—to camp, with friends—this was different. This terrified her.

  Slowly, she nodded. “Okay. Through the weekend.”

  Denise pulled her close. “It will be all right. You’ll see.”

  “I hope so.”

  She hugged the other woman and was held in return. For a second she closed her eyes and absorbed the loving support.

  “It’s not supposed to be this hard.”

  Denise patted her back. “It’s not supposed to be a lot of things, but still we get through it. You’ll get through this.”

  “I know.” She straightened. “I’m going to go home and pack his things. Would you mind calling Ethan and telling him the plan?”

  “Not at all. Don’t you want Tyler to pack for himself?”

  “No. If he’s so ready to move out, let’s start now.”

  Denise touched her arm. “I feel your pain, honey. Hang in there.”

  “I will,” Liz promised. After all, she didn’t have a choice.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO tonight?” Tyler asked, cutting into his steak. “We could watch a movie.”

  Ethan thought about his collection of action movies—most of which were rated R—and knew they would be a bad choice. “We’ll check out pay-per-view.”

  “Sweet! Mom only lets me watch movies on the weekend.”

  Something Ethan hadn’t known. “Why?”

  “I dunno. She wants me to read and stuff. Play outside. I wish she’d brought my Xbox.”

  Ethan had a feeling that there was a specific reason for that. Liz had wanted him to spend as much time with his son as possible.

  “How’s your steak?” Ethan asked.

  “Good.” Tyler glanced at him. “Are you going to cook something else for dinner tomorrow?”

  Because this was the second time in f
our nights he’d barbecued steaks. The other two nights they’d gone out.

  Usually Ethan grabbed something on the way home, or his mother dropped off a casserole for him to heat up in the microwave. Since he’d taken Tyler, she hadn’t been anywhere to be seen and neither had his sisters. He’d left messages for all of them and while they’d called back, they’d managed to miss him both at the office and home. He had a feeling they were doing that on purpose.

  The catering service he used when he had company was at the hotel for the week. Something about a big corporate retreat.

  His cooking skills were limited at best, but there had to be something he could make.

  “What would you like?” he asked.

  “Lasagna.”

  Pasta, meat and sauce. How hard could it be?

  “Sure. I’ll swing by the grocery store tomorrow and we’ll have it tomorrow night.”

  “We’re out of milk, too, and could we have a different cereal?”

  “We’ll make a list after dinner.”

  “Okay.” Tyler chewed another bite. “I don’t have any more clean clothes.”

  “What?”

  “I have socks and shorts, but no T-shirts or underwear. And I’m supposed to make a poster for camp tomorrow.”

  Ethan stared at him. “What kind of poster?”

  “Like for a movie. You have poster board, right?”

  “Not exactly.” He frowned. Who knew summer camp had homework? “If you have to make a poster, we can’t watch a movie.”

  “But you said we could.”

  “That was before you told me about the poster. School comes first.”

  “But this isn’t school, it’s camp.”

  Ethan felt the beginnings of a headache. He was tired. Not because he wasn’t sleeping well, but because his mornings were starting earlier. Tyler didn’t like getting up and moved at the speed of an exhausted snail. With the extra errands he had to run, there was no time to get to the gym. Now instead of a quiet evening watching a movie, they were going to the office supply store, to buy poster board and markers, then get through making a poster.

  “When did you get the assignment about the poster?”