No Fear (Bomar Boys Book 3)

by Jess Bryant

  It was a nice moment and he was afraid to ruin it but the truth was, there hadn’t been anything normal about tonight and they needed to talk about it. There were so many things he needed to ask her about. What had happened with her brother? Why was she scared of him? Was he the reason she’d come to find Remy tonight? But despite all of that, there was only one question that he couldn’t get out of his head, couldn’t shake, and he knew whatever happened with them would hinge on it.

  “Rach?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  Her fingers tightened around his and he squeezed in return, knowing she was expecting the worst when she stuttered, “Ye-yeah?”

  “Do I scare you?”

  Her head lifted and he could feel her looking at him again, “What?”

  “You saw me at my worst tonight, Rach. Fighting. Not just in that cage but with Lincoln too. I broke that guy’s nose and if Lincoln hadn’t released you, I would’ve broken his too. It’s what I do. I fight. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at. Well, that and running away but I’m done with that now. No more running. So I need to know, now, before this goes any further, are you scared of me?”

  “Uh… no.”

  He’d expected hesitation. He’d thought she would take a moment to think about her answer and what it would mean. Instead, he got a firm and solid no without any indecision at all. And he was the one left stuttering.

  “Wh-what?” He spared a glance sideways and saw her lips quirk, “What do you mean no?”

  “I mean, no, Remy.” She said softly but with more confidence than he’d ever imagined, “You don’t scare me like that. I mean, I know maybe you should because I know what you are but you don’t. I don’t think you ever could. You make me feel… safe.”

  Safe. There was that word again. He wanted to keep her safe and he liked hearing that he made her feel safe. It made that place in his chest that had opened to her the moment they met warm even as something sharp and painful stabbed at him.

  “What I am?”

  “Huh?”

  He pursed his lips and wished they weren’t having this conversation in the car. He wished he could see her, see her eyes. If he could look at her for more than five seconds at a time he wouldn’t have to read so much into her tone of voice, into the way she’d said those words.

  “What am I, Rachel? What am I that makes you think you shouldn’t trust me, even though you do?”

  She sighed, “A Bomar.”

  “Ah, that.” He snorted as he flicked his blinker on and made the turn down the little road that led towards his place. There was a strange relief that his last name was her biggest problem with him. “We don’t get to choose our family, like you said.”

  “I didn’t mean...” Rachel squeezed his hand, “I know you’re not like the rest of them. That’s what I meant. You’re a Bomar but you’re not violent or scary. You’re… sweet.”

  He bit off a chuckle, unsure if she’d think he was laughing at her, “Babe, nobody’s ever called me sweet.”

  “I just did.”

  “Yeah, you did.” He smiled in the darkness of the car, “And maybe for you I can be.”

  Rachel shifted in her seat, uncurling her legs and rolling to face him more head-on. She looked like she wanted to say something but then changed her mind. She dropped her gaze to their joined hands and he squeezed gently.

  “Rach, you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge you. I’m not gonna yell at you. All I’m gonna do is try to be here for you and protect you.”

  After another long minute where they jostled over the uneven road to his place, Rachel finally spoke. Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her. And when he did, he wished he wasn’t driving so he could pull her into his arms.

  “I need you, Remy. I didn’t lie about that I just… I need you because you’re strong. You’re intimidating. Craig won’t mess with me as long as he thinks I’m under your protection.”

  He fought the urge to squeeze her hand, anger and fear coursing through him, and his voice was rough when he forced himself to ask, “Did he hurt you?”

  “Not yet.”

  He swallowed hard, “So he threatened you?”

  Rachel nodded.

  “Fuck. Rach.” He groaned, “If you’d told me earlier I would have taken care of it. He was right there. I could have set him straight right then and there.”

  “It wouldn’t have mattered. Words don’t matter to Craig. Just seeing me with you…” She shook her head sadly, “He’s dangerous and until I figure out how to handle him I guess I was hoping I could crash at your place. Just being with you will keep him away from me.”

  “Rachel…”

  “We’re friends, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  He stroked his thumb over her soft skin. That was the simple answer. That was the answer she was looking for. That’s what he’d been telling her for weeks because he was afraid telling her what he really wanted would scare her away. He wanted to be so much more than her friend, he was so much more than her friend. But he was her friend, first and foremost so he nodded.

  “Then please, just trust me that I’ll tell you more when I figure it out myself.”

  “Okay.” He agreed quietly.

  It was all he could do. He didn’t want to push too hard, too fast. She’d come to him because she needed his protection. He could give her that without crossing any lines or pressuring her for more than she was willing to give. If she wanted him to be her friend tonight, he could do that.

  He pulled the Challenger to a stop in front of the old trailer house and winced as embarrassment hit him. It wasn’t a nice place. It was barely even a livable place. The old trailer had sat unused and abandoned for years before he came home. When he’d moved in it had smelled to high heaven and despite all of his cleaning it still had a slight undercurrent of misuse to it.

  “Uh… it’s not much.” He forced himself to release her hand so they could both step out of the car. “In all honesty, it’s kind of a mess.”

  “I don’t mind.” Rachel shrugged, “I’m sure it can’t be any worse than mine.”

  “Right. Yeah, you’ve got a place over in the park right?”

  “Right.” She followed him as he went to the door and unlocked it. “It was my mom’s. She left it to me when she died. Cancer about five years ago.”

  He motioned for her to go inside, “You were sixteen when she died?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And child protective didn’t get involved? Isn’t your dad in prison?”

  Rachel made a strangled sound, “Yeah, well, how do you think I ended up with Craig back in my life?”

  He hummed his acknowledgement of that piece of information. Her older half-brother had gotten custody of her probably. She’d been so close to legal age that the system had probably taken one look at an adult sibling, told him to handle her, and never checked on them again. God only knew what she’d had to deal with since if that little scene earlier was any indication.

  A dead mother. A father in prison. A brother that ran in the Bomar crew. Jesus, how had she ended up so good and sweet and innocent? It shouldn’t have been possible but he was thankful that she’d survived her horrors. He wasn’t naïve enough to think she wasn’t scarred, wasn’t damaged, but she’d come out the other side and now here she was, with him.

  Right where she was supposed to be.

  “Uh, have a seat. I recommend the chair. That couch is shit.” He scrubbed his hair, “You want something to drink?”

  “N-no thank you.” Rachel twisted her hands in front of her nervously and he resisted the urge to take them and kiss them again.

  It was different here. Kissing her here, with his bedroom just down the hallway, it was somehow more intimate. She must have realized that too because he didn’t miss the slight stutter in her words. He didn’t trust himself to touch her with that being the case so he stepped back, away from her, putting more sp
ace between them.

  “I uh… I’m gonna go take a shower. Need to wash off this night.”

  “Yeah, of course. Go.”

  “Make yourself comfortable. Help yourself to whatever. I’ll only be a minute and then we can talk.”

  Rachel nodded but didn’t move from her spot just inside the door.

  Remy forced himself to turn and go down the hallway. It was a two bedroom trailer and he’d taken the master in the back. The spare was completely empty for the time being. He’d have to figure out sleeping arrangements when he got out but for now he was only worried about hurrying through his shower before she freaked out and decided to bolt. The last thing he needed was for her to go running off on Bomar land and end up shot like a trespasser if one of his family members came across her.

  After retrieving a clean set of shorts, t-shirt and boxers from his room, Remy ducked into the shower in the hallway. The hot water heater was shit so he always felt like he was racing against the clock to clean up before the stream turned to ice. Tonight though, he rushed through even his normal ritual of scrubbing down and rinsing off.

  After what couldn’t have been more than five minutes, Remy snapped off the water and toweled off. He wasn’t going to touch her. Not tonight. But he was going to get some answers.

  But after he’d tossed his clothes on, he walked back into the living room and came to a stop. There would be no talking tonight. Not because she’d run like he feared but because she was asleep.

  Rachel had taken his order to get comfortable seriously. Her boots were sitting neatly just inside the front door. She had curled up in his big, easy chair and her hands were tucked under her cheek. Her legs were drawn up, as if she’d tried to curl into a ball to protect herself from something and his heart ached at the sight of her there.

  Right. Having her here felt so damn right it made his chest hurt. He liked seeing her in his home. He liked her boots sitting beside his at the door. The only way it would feel any more right would be if he could pick her up and carry her to his bed but he knew that was a bad idea.

  It was best if he left her here. Safer for both of them that way. He wouldn’t get any lewd ideas about rolling over and touching her in the middle of the night if she wasn’t within reach. Probably. He didn’t want to startle her awake either. He didn’t know enough about who had hurt her, or how, to risk her freaking out if she woke up in a strange bed with someone beside her. He had plenty of his own nightmares that started that way and he wouldn’t add to hers just in case.

  Instead he retrieved the blanket off his bed and then draped it over her gently. She stirred softly and muttered his name but didn’t wake up. That ache in his chest became even more pronounced. She was dreaming of him and he could only pray it was a good dream. Taking a chance, he leaned forward and brushed a kiss across her forehead and then pulled away when she didn’t stir again. He could get his answers tomorrow.

  “Goodnight baby.”

  Chapter Five

  Rachel woke up slowly, gradually slipping into consciousness from the deep, dark recesses of a good night’s sleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so hard, slept so long or so easily. It had been weeks, months, maybe even years since she’d woken up without a start, without her heart racing from a nightmare or to the sound of Craig screaming her name.

  Craig.

  Her eyes flew open as the memories of last night fought their way to the surface. She’d overheard her brother talking to his new friends. She’d learned he was a traitor to his crew, to the Bomars, and she’d gone to their fight night to look for Remy. She’d found him but Craig had found her too. He’d threatened her openly, right there in front of Remy. He’d all but told her that when she came home, he would deal with her. Only instead Remy had brought her here, to his home.

  Oh my God… she looked around and covered her mouth to stifle a gasp.

  She was really here. She was in Remy’s trailer. He’d brought her home with him and then… she groaned, she’d fallen asleep like a total child.

  He’d gone to take a shower and she’d sat down in the big, comfy chair like he told her and then, nothing. She’d fallen asleep and she must have fallen asleep hard because she hadn’t heard him come back into the room. She hadn’t felt him give her a blanket to cover up but he must have. She fingered the old, well-worn quilt as she chewed her lips and looked around the small trailer.

  It wasn’t much and she remembered the way Remy had looked slightly embarrassed when he brought her inside. The trailer was old, that was for sure, but it wasn’t in as much disrepair as her own was. Craig had trashed her mother’s trailer but clearly Remy had tried to fix his up. The scent of cleaning supplies lingered and it wasn’t dirty, just old. Everything but the television and the chair she’d slept in, which were clearly new and that made her smile softly to herself because of course Remy would buy the necessities first.

  He was just a guy no matter how much she idolized him.

  She remembered everything he’d done for her last night. Gotten her away from Lincoln, gotten her out of that barn and away from the leering men inside. He’d kept Craig from hurting her and he’d brought her here. He’d kept her safe and through it all he’d looked at her and touched her as if she were something special, something precious.

  And then she’d fallen asleep on him.

  God, she dropped her head into her hands and swallowed a groan. He must think she was a total baby now. Not that he probably hadn’t already. She knew he was older than her. She’d pointedly asked Skylar just how old Colt’s older brother was once and gotten a knowing smile and a speech about age being about wisdom not years and then a number.

  Twenty-eight.

  He was seven years older than her. He’d been halfway around the world fighting in a war. He’d grown up fast and early being a Bomar. Of course he must think she was a baby! She was barely an adult, could barely take care of herself and now she’d not only run to him for safety because she couldn’t protect herself but she’d fallen asleep like a kid up past her bedtime.

  Rachel wiped a hand over her face and sighed. She had bigger problems than whether or not Remy thought she was a child. She had Craig threatening to kill her. She had the Bomars every direction she turned. And she had to figure out just how much she could tell Remy because she knew he would have questions for her now that she was awake.

  She stood up and folded the blanket neatly. Listening carefully, she didn’t hear anything but the wind rustling the trees outside. If Remy was in the trailer he must be asleep. That or he was being utterly still and quiet thinking she was asleep. Carefully, trying to avoid any heavy steps that would made the floor squeak or groan, she tiptoed towards the back of the trailer.

  It was laid out exactly like her own from the looks of it. The door up front led straight into the living area. There was a small nook on that end that served as a kitchenette. A stove oven combo in one corner, a fridge in the other and a sink between with a microwave on the counter were all there was room for. The living room was large enough for the big couch, the chair and a flat screen television but not much more. The narrow hallway led to a small second room that was completely empty and next to that was the bathroom. She should have stopped there, gone to the bathroom and cleaned up a little, but when she glimpsed the open doorway at the end of the hall, the master bedroom, she couldn’t help herself.

  Hesitantly, she tiptoed to the open door and then stopped as the dark room came into focus. Remy was in there. She could just make him out through the pale light seeping past the blinds. He was sprawled on the big bed, a sheet haphazardly pulled up around his waist. His head was turned away from her but it wouldn’t have mattered if he were wide awake. His broad chest was on full display and just like last night, she couldn’t seem to pull her gaze away.

  Her heart began to gallop and she bit her lip as she stared at him. She shouldn’t be standing here, gawking. She knew that. It was weird and creepy and stalkerish. If he woke up and saw her w
atching him like this, it would make things super awkward. He stirred slightly and she stopped breathing until he resettled, this time facing her but with his eyes still closed.

  What would he do if he woke up and saw her here? Send her away? Or curl his finger at her like he had last night in the barn? The memory alone was enough to send butterflies fluttering in her belly. What would he do if she crawled into that bed with him and snuggled against that strong, broad chest? Would he hold her and promise to protect her? Or would he touch her, really touch her like he’d said he wanted to last night, and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe?

  Remy twitched again in his sleep and she stepped back, out of the doorway. He was having a nightmare, she realized. All of the tossing and turning, she knew the signs well. She had more than a few of her own. Knowing that she would hate anyone seeing her like that, weak and alone, defenseless against the demons and the memories that came in the dark, she forced herself to turn and walk away.

  Rachel locked herself in the bathroom and leaned against the door with a sigh. What was she doing here? Remy clearly had his own problems to deal with. She trusted him but she was still trying to figure out how much of her story to tell him. He’d said last night that he wanted her, that she was his, but most of what she knew about his past hadn’t come from him.

  She’d heard the rumors, heard Skylar and Colt talking when they thought she wasn’t listening. They were worried about him. Remy had come home after a decade away and was still trying to find his place within his family.

  The fighting was to save his brothers but who was going to save Remy?

  Even knowing that he didn’t need to be dragged into her mess right now, she couldn’t convince herself to turn around and leave while he was asleep. Craig had already seen her with Remy. If she left him now, where would she go? Who could she turn to? Skylar maybe, but if she went to her then no doubt Remy would find out. She had no doubt that if she fled now without so much as a word that Remy would come after her.