Order vs. Chaos

by Mary E Thompson

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  I shrugged then sat up, dislodging her from my side. “It sucked worse for him than me. If I’d listened to him, he probably wouldn’t have gotten shot. I wanted to take pictures. Do my job. He told me to stay with him. He was trying to keep me safe, instead of looking for the shooter, when he got hit. Bullets ripped through his leg and shattered his tibia. By the time we got him back to the base, he’d passed out. He lost a lot of blood, and by the time they got him to a hospital, they had no choice but to remove his leg. All because of me.”

  Kiana didn’t say anything for an endless minute. I knew she was trying to figure out how to get the hell away from me without it being obvious. I wanted to tell her to just go, but I couldn’t shove the words out.

  Because I wanted her to stay.

  “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”

  “Of course it was,” I said, climbing out of bed. I grabbed a t-shirt from my drawer and tugged it on before I faced her. “I wasn’t a newbie out there. I knew what I was doing. And I still ignored his order. But instead of me paying for it, he did.”

  She shook her head and stood in front of me. “He’s a soldier. He knew he was taking a risk with his life when he went into the military. That doesn’t mean he wanted to come home different than he left, but he knew what he was risking. You weren’t trained in combat. You probably didn’t even have a gun, did you?”

  I shook my head. “That wasn’t my job.”

  “Exactly. You need to quit beating yourself up over it. You need to accept that you were there for a reason. You showed the story of what these men go through. How they live their lives. That’s powerful.”

  “I never published those pictures.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “I couldn’t. It was my last assignment with the military. I couldn’t look at them. I couldn’t do it anymore.”

  “You never told the story?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Then do it now. We’ll talk to Joe when he gets here. He and Rachel agreed to have full media coverage as part of this. Use your pictures to show where he came from. What started this whole thing. Show the man he was before, during, and after.”

  I was already shaking my head. “I can’t, Kiana. I have a panic attack every time I see those pictures. I still have nightmares. He didn’t want to see me or speak to me last time I reached out to him. He won’t want me there.”

  “I think you’re wrong.”

  “He’s moved on. Let him have his day without me messing it up.”

  She sighed. “Will you think about it? I know you’re upset right now, but will you think about it? The guy I’ve spoken to on the phone is very positive and happy. He’s the kind of guy who has moved beyond his past. I think you’re wrong about him.”

  Just the idea of seeing him again made me want to throw up. Asking him if I could use the pictures I took of him, the pictures of the worst moment of his life, was not a conversation I ever wanted to have.

  Kiana pressed her body against mine. She reached up and threaded her arms around my neck, bringing me down to her lips for a kiss. She didn’t run. She kissed me. Her tongue slid into my mouth, and I couldn’t resist her for another second.

  I picked her up, my hands on those sexy thighs I’d been dreaming about wrapping around my waist. She hooked her legs around me, my cock nestled right where I wanted to be. I crawled onto my bed, covering her. We kissed, her tongue toying with me. I thrust my tongue into her mouth and my cock between her thighs, wishing I could strip our clothes off and I could have her for real.

  I thrust against her over and over, my cock painfully hard and aching. I needed her. Fuck, I’d never wanted a woman as badly as I wanted her. It had been far too long since I’d had a woman in my bed, but no other woman would do. It was Kiana. All Kiana.

  “I want you,” I whispered, my lips against her ear. “I want you right now.”

  “Yes,” she murmured. “Now.”

  “Don’t tease me, Kiana.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not. I’m tired of resisting this.”

  I leaned up and tore my shirt off. She lifted up, tugging hers off also. I covered her again, groaning at the feel of her skin against mine. Her legs were still hooked around my hips, letting me grind into her. I couldn’t wait to feel her.

  “Food’s almost ready,” Kapena called, interrupting us.

  I cursed under my breath. “Okay,” I called back. “I’ll be right out.”

  Kapena walked away again, leaving me with two hands full of his sexy sister and nowhere near enough time to do all the things I wanted to do.

  “Kapena,” she hissed.

  I nodded. “I forgot about him. I was too worried about his hot sister.”

  “I forgot, too. We can’t do this. Not with him outside the door. It’s bad enough that I’m in here.”

  “You can make your own decisions.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “Are you going to tell me you’re ready to fight him for me?”

  My eyes widened, and I leaned back. “Fight? He’s going to make me fight him?”

  “Did he warn you to stay away from me?”

  I nodded.

  “When I was in high school, the only boys that were allowed to ask me out were ones who could beat my brother in a fight.”

  “You’re fucking with me, right?”

  She shook her head. “Nope.”

  “How many guys asked you out?”

  “In high school?”

  I nodded.

  “None.”

  “Well, fuck me.”

  “I was thinking about it,” she said with a husky laugh that made my dick harder.

  And just like that, I knew I’d take on her brother any day. I’d do anything if it meant getting the sexy woman lying beneath me into my bed again.

  Or better yet, into her bed. Where her brother wasn’t in the next room.

  “This isn’t over, Kiana. We’re going to pick up right back here. Soon.”

  She grinned up at me, her eyes dark with desire, her chest pressed to mine, her warm thighs around my hips. “I’m counting on it.”

  A knock on my door shocked me away from her. I jumped up from the bed as Kapena said, “What are you doing in there?”

  “Just getting dressed. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “I’m not waiting for you to start eating,” Kapena said, walking away.

  “We definitely need to work on this a bit,” Kiana whispered when he was gone.

  I nodded. “Yeah, because I’d like to keep my face in its current arrangement.”

  She stood and walked to me, cupping my cheek. “Me, too.”

  She lifted onto her toes to kiss me. I got lost in her all over again, cupping her ass and kneading her flesh. Son of a bitch, I wanted her.

  Kiana pulled back with a grin. She nibbled her lip and glanced down to where my cock stood loud and proud between us. “You might want to take a few minutes before you come out.”

  “I might need a cold shower before I come out.”

  She giggled. “That’s probably not a bad idea.”

  I wrapped my arm around her again, tugging her close and kissing her. I was already addicted to her. It made no sense. I’d known her for less than three weeks. And in that time, she’d threatened to fire me, multiple times, been angry at me more than anything else, given me the silent treatment, and chased away all the bad shit in my head.

  And made me hornier and harder than any woman I’d ever known.

  I scooped her up, leaving her legs to dangle inches off the floor. She laughed and pushed out of my arms. “Put me down. I’m too heavy for you to carry around like that.”

  “Not even a little bit. You’re perfect.”

  She shook her head. “I need to eat better and exercise more. I’ve been gaining even more weight lately.”

  “You’re beautiful, Kiana. The sexiest woman I’ve ever known.”

&nb
sp; “Oh yeah?”

  I nodded.

  “And just how many women have you known?”

  Shit. She was good. I didn’t even see that ambush coming. Her hands went to her hips, her head cocked to the side. The scowl on her face told me she really didn’t want the answer.

  “Um, well, I…uh.”

  Her scowl slipped. Not much, but enough to know she was laughing at me.

  “Seriously?” I said, grabbing her around her waist. I tugged her against me, her back to my front. She wriggled, grinding her ass on my dick again.

  My balls were going to be blue forever.

  “Let me go!” she squealed. “I was teasing. I really don’t want to know how many women you’ve been with.”

  I brushed her hair off her shoulder and kissed her where her neck curved. I nipped her skin, then ran my tongue over it. She moaned softly. My lips moved up, kissing and nipping and licking to her ear. I ran my tongue over the shell of her ear and whispered, “The only one I want to be with right now is you, Kiana. I haven’t even looked at another woman since I met you.”

  “Really?” she breathed.

  “Yes. I’ve been dreaming about you. What it would be like to touch you. That’s why I thought it was another dream when you were in my arms this morning.”

  “I’ve been dreaming about you, too.”

  “Oh, really?” I asked, my cock twitching. She circled her hips against me, and I groaned. “You’re killing me. You need to tell me about those dreams you’ve been having.”

  “Maybe,” she whispered. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

  “Then you’ll have to show me.”

  “Maybe one day.”

  I kissed her neck and caressed her smooth skin. “Let’s go have breakfast. Then we need to get to work.”

  “Shit,” she gasped. “I forgot all about work.” She spun away from me, looking for a clock. I grabbed my phone.

  “It’s still early.”

  I showed her the time, and she closed her eyes. “I need to go home and change. I can’t go into work like this. And I have a conference call about Joe and Rachel’s wedding in an hour. Shit. I can’t believe I did this.”

  Feeling like an overchewed piece of gum, I stood there as she frantically pulled herself together. She finger-combed her hair back then tied it up into a ponytail holder from her wrist. She looked around the room, her gaze landing on my bed. Then she looked up at me.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  I put my hands up. “It’s fine. I understand.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t. I let Anthony get in the way of work too often. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again.”

  “I really don’t like this guy.”

  She sighed. “I know. I really need to go.”

  “Are you going to try to sneak out without Kapena seeing you?”

  She glanced at the door and nodded. “If he sees me, it’ll be a fight, and I’ll never make it to work on time. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Let me go first and try to distract him so he doesn’t see you.”

  She kissed me. “Thank you for understanding.”

  I never said I did, but I wasn’t going to argue that point. I just nodded.

  I went for the door, my hand on the knob when she said, “Wait!”

  I turned and looked at her.

  “Not that I don’t love the look, but do you normally eat breakfast with my brother in only your underwear?”

  I glanced down and rolled my eyes at myself. “You’re bad for my sanity.”

  She laughed, a bright smile splitting her face.

  I moved quickly to find a pair of shorts. I tried to get my dick to go down, but that wasn’t going to happen until the woman who stole my covers and chased away my demons was long gone.

  Then maybe when I looked at her brother, I would stop wanting to touch her all over again.

  Shit.

  I turned away from her, focusing on the door. I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths, hoping it would bring my dick down.

  Not happening.

  “Sawyer,” she whined.

  “I know. I’m trying.” I shook my head. “Okay, let’s go.”

  I opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Kiana was right behind me, hoping to make her get away when I turned to go to the kitchen. We were halfway down the hall when I heard his footsteps, but it was too late.

  Kapena rounded the corner and saw Kiana pressed against my back, wearing the clothes she had on the day before.

  And it was clear Kapena drew the exact right conclusion.

  “What the fuck are you doing with my sister?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Kiana snuck past me and kissed her brother on the cheek before she said she had to get to work and left me alone with a murderous looking Kapena.

  That definitely took care of my hard-on.

  “It’s not what you think,” I immediately said. Even though it sort of was.

  “What do I think?” he demanded.

  “Come on, Kapena. I didn’t fuck her.”

  Just that fast, one of his massive fists connected with the side of my face and knocked me to the ground.

  “Don’t ever say ‘fuck’ in the same sentence as my sister. No man will ever ‘fuck’ her. And if he does, I’ll fuck him up.”

  I did not get the feeling she was a virgin, but damn if my mind didn’t go right there. Kapena was the bigger issue though. Hovering over me like he was ready for another hit if I said the wrong thing.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant we didn’t sleep together.”

  “Then what the fuck was she doing coming out of your bedroom?”

  His eyes were black and angrier than I’d ever seen him. For a guy who was usually pretty easy-going and happy, he was scarier than shit when he was pissed off.

  “I had a nightmare last night. She said she heard me. I thought I was dreaming and asked her to stay—”

  “You’re dreaming about my sister?” he bellowed, coming at me again.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I yelled getting my hands up to block him. Shit, I wasn’t small, but I was pretty fucking defenseless on my ass in the hallway. “I didn’t say that.” Definitely not sharing that part.

  “What did you say?”

  “I was confused. I thought it was a new twist to my nightmare. I never thought she’d actually be there.”

  “So why the fuck was she just leaving your room now?”

  I tried. Dammit, I tried. But my lips curled up all on their own thinking of the way she felt in my arms. The sexy noises she made when I touched her. How she kissed me with her whole body. And pressed those fucking curves to me and made me hard.

  Whack!

  “Ow!” I cried, covering my swollen cheek.

  “I don’t ever want to see that look on your face again when it has to do with my sister.”

  “You can’t tell me not to date her.”

  “Like hell I can’t!”

  “Kapena,” I said, scrambling to my feet. “She’s an adult. She owns her own business. She has her own place.”

  “Have you been to her house? Are you fucking her there?”

  “I thought you said no one could use that word with her?”

  He glared at me. Yeah, I think I deserved that one.

  “No,” I blurted. “I’m not sleeping with her. We kissed. We didn’t have sex. Last night, well really, this morning, was the first time anything happened between us. Except for a couple of kisses.”

  “Just stop talking, right now. I don’t want to hear about this. I told you to keep your hands off my sister.”

  “She’s not a kid anymore.”

  Kapena glared at me then sighed heavily. “I know. But shit. I just found out she was involved with that last guy, and now she’s sneaking out of your room. I don’t like it.”

  “I’m not like him,” I stated firmly. “I’d never treat a woman like he did. I like your sister. Obviously, you�
�re not happy about that, but I’m not here to screw her and screw her over.”

  Kapena shot me another angry glare. I held his gaze, knowing I was going to have to fight him for a chance to be with her. I knew there weren’t any guarantees things would work between Kiana and me, but if I wanted a chance, I needed to go through her brother and her closest friends. Jack and Ada were already on my side, which left Kapena.

  “I don’t like it.”

  I nodded. “I get that. I’m guessing that’s why she didn’t tell you about the shithead.”

  Kapena sighed, his body sinking with the acceptance. “You’re probably right. If she’s not hiding things with you, it’s better. But if you hurt her, you’ll be wishing all I did was give you that bruise.”

  My hand went to my cheek and gingerly touched the spot where he’d hit me. Twice. It was already tender and swelling. Shit. I needed ice, fast, or I’d scare all the guests. I nodded at Kapena and walked past him. He let me go without putting me through the wall, so I figured he was okay with everything.

  He didn’t have a choice.

  I slapped an ice pack to my face, wincing at the cold and the pain. Kapena went onto the lanai to finish his breakfast. I followed him with my own plate, sitting across from him.

  We ate in silence, staring at the ocean. When Kapena was done, he went back inside without another word to me.

  I finished my breakfast and put the ice pack away. I didn’t want to be late for work, so I headed back to my room. The scent of coconut hit me in the face, erasing all thoughts of Kapena and bringing Kiana and her kisses back to my mind. Maybe it was time I really looked for a new place. I knew I wouldn’t find anything with the spectacular view Kapena had, but I could find a place on my own. And fill it with Kiana any time I wanted.

  I took a shower and changed into clothes for work, then headed there. I stopped by Aloha Cafe on the way and ordered two coffees and a few treats for breakfast. I felt bad that I didn’t know what Kiana liked, but I’d learn.

  Quickly, if I was no longer living at Kapena’s.

  I realized the error of my ways when I got back to my bike and realized I had no way to carry two cups of coffee while I was riding. I stood in the parking lot and drank mine, debating where to put Kiana’s.