What Could Have

by D. C. Stone

  He angled his head, his gaze landing on her mouth.

  He was going to conquer her mouth first, and then he was going to take her body.

  “Yes. Please, Luc.” A whispered plea.

  Just as he started to bring his head down, the van jerked to a stop at the front gate. Annabelle pulled away, making only a slight whimpering sound with his wrist wrapped around her hair. He removed his hand, cursed, and reached for his ID as the guard requested their proof of entry. A quick check of their cards and they were off again, heading toward their dorms. Back to reality.

  As he tucked his wallet back into his jeans, he glanced over at her. She stared out the window again, her body as far from him as possible. The moment before was lost forever. He wanted to scream in frustration, shake some sense into her, and then kiss the shit out of her.

  You really fucked things up now.

  Damn it.

  Six

  Annabelle couldn’t hear anything but the sound of her heart beating in her ears. He had kissed her, and oh boy, kissed her good. None had ever held such a promise in his lips. No one until Lucas.

  The van drew to a stop in front of their dorms. Tony opened the doors, jumped out, and Jessica followed. Neither said a word or even looked their way. Music from the speakers was low, enough that Lucas’ soft breaths pierced through the air just as clear as she could hear her own.

  Her face heated, realizing they must have heard her. God, she had practically been begging for it, hadn’t she? She waited for Lucas to get out, as he was between her and the exit. He hesitated, his hands drumming along the back of the seat, his expression hard. He stared not at her, but in front of him, through the windshield and into the darkness beyond.

  He didn’t say a word, only breathed. His expression hinted at some sort of battle going on in his head. Her palm itched with the urge to smooth the frown line between his eyes. Her muscles tensed with the desire to wrap her arms around him and hold him tight. She wanted for him to kiss her again, but this time deeper, longer, closer.

  Just as she was about to say something, he abruptly turned and got out of the van. She followed, sighing at the brusque stand-off again. He didn’t turn back to look at her, help her, or say a word.

  Dread coiled in her gut, a heavy, cold acid that spread with a painful jolt. The lingering Texas weather rushed away like an erratic artic breeze.

  Hot.

  Cold.

  That was Lucas, and he was doing it again. If she had to, she’d bet her entire pay he regretted their kiss. Her shoulders dropped and bile churned in her stomach.

  Walking behind him, she entered the gates of their squadron. She stared at his back and willed him to turn around before it was too late. Not just for tonight. That time had already passed. They were back under the watchful eyes of the training staff.

  But their friendship, or whatever this was, was running out of time.

  Just inside the entrance, her dorms sat to the right, Lucas’ ahead and past the coed yard separating the two houses, where both populaces segregated. As she stepped up to the hallway to her room, the fissure of a crack in her heart spread as he continued forward, never turning to address her, just walking away.

  She wanted to stomp her foot and throw a tantrum. And didn’t that just speak of her maturity level. It’d be a sore sight for everyone to see a bona fide military trainee breaking down into a slobbering mess.

  He turned her into someone she didn’t recognize.

  Pressure built in her throat and behind her eyes. She blinked rapidly to hold her tears back and cleared her throat. “Luc.”

  He stopped, but didn’t face her. His hands clenched and released by his sides, and if she wasn’t mistaken, his entire body shook. Was it so difficult to talk to her?

  Dammit. “Look at me,” she pleaded.

  His back tightened before he turned around. He moved slowly, almost reluctantly. Was she so horrible to look at, too? Could he not bear to be around her?

  She let out a sigh and cursed a storm in her mind that’d make a sailor proud.

  “What the hell?”

  There it went, she thought. Their friendship. Nothing would be the same. The ticking clock on the time they had left pounded down on her like an anvil.

  “You can say that again, Anna.”

  She couldn’t hold his gaze, not without letting him see how much he affected her. She turned her head and looked anywhere but at him. Her chest hurt, the loss of him hitting her hard. She didn’t cry, though, she couldn’t. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him.

  “Then damn it all to hell, Luc. I won’t take it back and I don’t regret it. But, I’m sorry.”

  Moments of silence passed, and since she couldn’t meet his eyes, she wondered if he had walked off. Her eyes filled and her vision went blurry. She glanced up to the sky and blinked, refusing to shed a single tear, when the memory of them looking at the stars a few weeks earlier slammed into her. The unbearable pressure in her chest threatened to choke her.

  “Anna…”

  His voice closer. She swallowed hard as the sound ran over her skin like rich silk. Why did he affect her like this?

  “Anna, look at me.”

  His body moved nearer, but she didn’t have to look. She could feel him. She fought for control of her emotions, pushed the burning tears back in their place, and turned toward him.

  He had stepped no more than a few feet away, his head cocked to the side. He studied her, his eyes showing none of the want, lust, or heat she saw in the van. As his gaze passed over her lips, she felt them pulse in response. A tingling sensation swept over the sensitive skin and her mouth ached, actually ached to feel him again. She didn’t think. Just acted. Her hand lifted and brushed over her lips.

  His eyes fluttered closed on a groan.

  “Don’t do that.” Now he sounded like he pleaded.

  She frowned and dropped her hand, confused.

  “Do what?”

  He opened his eyes and stared at her with a dark, brooding expression. One that warned and promised many erotic secrets. She could still taste him on her lips, feeling his teeth biting into her flesh. Before she knew what had occurred, Luc advanced on her, and the look—heat, want, and desire—was back.

  * * * * *

  Lucas had been struggling like hell not to do this. No more fighting the attraction, no more of the ‘you are just friends’ routine. A little liquid courage had gone a long way in helping him move past the mind fuck he’d been put through.

  He had prepared to go to his room, leave her be, and try to salvage their friendship, but her sweet voice called out to him, rolled across his skin like a smooth, erotic tease of fingertips. Was it the question held in his name that had him stopping? Or was it out of his control?

  He was primed for Annabelle, well aware of her. His cock kicked against his zipper, straining and demanding to be set free. He wanted to be inside of her pretty fucking badly.

  When she touched her lips, it had almost been his undoing. He leaned in her direction, wanting to watch as those fingers brushed exactly where he sought to be. When her tongue made its appearance and she tasted him where he’d been, he snapped.

  “I tried to stay away from you.” He moved toward her with a lethal intention, almost as a predator would stalk its prey.

  “W-what?” She took a step back before her rear hit the concrete wall. There were no other trainees around, everyone either still out on the town or fast asleep in their beds. The wall she pushed herself against was draped in shadows, no lights around, cocooning them in for what he was about to take.

  “This, Anna. What’s between us. I tried. I’ve fought it for so fucking long. You drive me absolutely insane. You make me want to run away. And then turn around and run to you.” He reached where she was standing and didn’t hesitate, didn’t stop, but instead pressed against her sweet, soft curves.

  Just as he suspected, he fit against her like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Her hips cradled his with a fit as if she�
��d been made for him. Her breasts molded against his chest as if meant to be.

  Her breath hitched. The sound drew his attention to her mouth. He stared, lost in a haze of lust. Fucking lost.

  Rosy and flush, the moist, pink petals were calling to him to take. “Tell me to go, Anna. Say the words.” He was helpless to stop. “God, just push me away.”

  Her hands roamed up the back of his triceps. The heat of her body seared him. His eyes practically rolled into the back of his head as that one simple touch satisfied him so much.

  “No, I won’t,” she breathed and arched closer to him. “Don’t you see I’m just as helpless to ignore this?”

  Damn it.

  Her little tongue darted out again and ran across her lips. Moisture made her mouth shine like a beacon, and he was thirsty for a taste of her. He groaned. His words came out guttural, dark and husky. “I’m tired of fighting this.” He dipped his head, his mouth breathing over hers. “I c-can’t. Anna,” he groaned, leaning in till the last words fluttered over her lips. “I’m tired of fighting what I feel for you.”

  He didn’t give her a chance to respond and slammed his mouth over hers. The kiss was a direct contrast to the soft way he’d taken her earlier.

  Her fingers dug into his arms and her body went stiff for a heartbeat before she yielded to him and opened her sweet mouth.

  Wrapping one arm around her waist, he ran the other up the length of her back until it tangled in her hair again. He tugged, tilting her head as he deepened his kiss. A tentative rasp of her tongue against his ripped a groan from his chest.

  She was intoxicating, addicting, and so damn sweet. He felt each of the cravings roll between them, sink into his pores, and take his control.

  Pressing his lower body into hers, he rolled his hips, and his erection slid against her stomach. The pressure of it made his eyes cross behind his lids. Her breath hitched, but the kiss didn’t break. He yearned to be closer and tightened his arms around her, drove the kiss deeper.

  Nothing registered other than Annabelle. Her taste, the feel of her, the sweet, addicting scent that embedded into his soul.

  He broke his mouth away and trailed kisses along her jaw, then dipped his head to suckle at her neck. Each breath brought her scent into his lungs, and each sound she made caused his cock to jump. He shook with the force of what she did to him. Goosebumps broke out across his skin and his body tightened. He needed to be inside of her like he needed air to breathe.

  He gave another gentle tug, bringing her neck back and opening her skin to his discovery. The arm wrapped around her waist drifted down and over her plump rear. He grabbed and squeezed the muscle as he worked down to her thigh. In a sudden move, he lifted her leg and wrapped it around his hip before stepping more fully into her. Her gasp echoed against the walls.

  “Lock your leg around me,” he rasped.

  She did as he asked, bringing his erection in-between her thighs. He nearly lost it. Considering he hadn’t come in his pants since high school, he was surprised at just how much of a hold she had on him.

  He was enamored.

  Taken.

  Possessed.

  The dance began, his hips rolling forward and back. He lavished attention to her skin, took her taste down his throat. Sweet Jesus, he was out of control. For so damn long, this was where he’d wanted to be, wrapped within Annabelle’s arms, sinking inside her lush body, tasting her skin, and leaving his mark.

  He’d never get enough, nor did he want to.

  Her hands snaked up to his head where she held on to his neck. She groaned and pushed against him, her hips answering the movements of his.

  He could take her now. He knew it. Just a few snaps of buttons, the drawing of a zipper, and he’d be able to sink inside her warm heat like he wanted.

  Alarms pinged in his head and unease skittered across his shoulders.

  The realization of where they were and what they were doing dawned. He mauled her like some sort of animal in the stairwell where anyone could see.

  That very thought, taking her in the middle of the hall, under the dark starry night, wrapped securely inside of iron gates, sent a douse of cold water over him. He couldn’t do this here with Annabelle. She was worth more than that.

  He pulled her leg from his waist, gently extracted from her arms, and stepped back. As she moved toward him, a dazed and confused look in her eyes, he held up a hand to ward her off.

  “Anna, stop.”

  Bending over to take the pressure off his cock, he breathed deep, braced a hand over his knee and willed his body under control. He couldn’t make eye contact with her, didn’t dare. He didn’t trust himself.

  Seven

  Coldness seeped through Anna’s clothes, harsh and unforgiving. Especially when compared to the warm body that had been pressed against her. Lucas had created an inferno, one that had yet to calm, and the fire of desire was roaring out of control, full steam ahead.

  “Why?” she asked.

  She frantically worked over the past few minutes trying to pinpoint the instant in which she may have done something wrong. Lucas had been into it. Hell, she was. There was nothing she wouldn’t have given him in those moments. She wanted him now, even as he pushed her away.

  Oh no, not again…

  “Anna, this isn’t the time or the place.”

  She wrapped her arms around her middle, suddenly needing to hide from him. “It felt like the time and place a few minutes ago. Did I do something wrong?”

  A groan broke from him as a tortured look crossed his face. He stared at her as if she had sprung two heads. Silent minutes ticked by, the sound of time passing, of the moment moving away¸ so damn loud.

  “Do something wrong?” he choked out with a huff. “Jesus, Anna. No. It felt so right.”

  She took a step toward him. “Okay then, why—”

  He spoke over her question and moved back, lifting his hand again. “Stop. Don’t. We can’t.”

  What had she done? Lucas was looking at her as if she were a stranger. Closer inspection, though, revealed he wasn’t meeting her eyes and instead focused on the wall behind her head.

  She swallowed hard, the pressure in her throat gaining with each building emotion. She had to get away. She wasn’t one that would run away from something, but she had to or she’d lose it in front of him. He couldn’t take that kind of control. Not when he’d taken so much from her.

  Damn him.

  “Fine, Luc. Fine…” The last word choked out, and she winced.

  She turned to leave, her vision wavering, filling with tears. They stung, but the sting was nowhere near the pain lancing her heart.

  “Anna…”

  Replicate his movement was all she could do. She lifted her hand and spoke one harsh word. “No.”

  She walked away from what she yearned for. She left her heart back on the sidewalk with Lucas, forgotten and abandoned. Instead, she pulled on the cool mask she had always come to rely on, the front she created in order to protect herself, when she was anything but, and headed to her room.

  She stepped inside, and blinked at the brightness of the harsh lights in the dorm. Jessica sat cross-legged on the bed as if waiting. You noticed things like when Jessica smiled. It lit up the entire room and transformed her already ethical beauty into something so much more. That smile faltered and fell as Annabelle closed the door. She couldn’t move from the frame and tried like hell to push down the emotions barraging her chest. She wouldn’t break down, refused. Instead, she tried to focus. Graduation was around the corner. She had to make it through these last few weeks. Then she could get away.

  Leave.

  Everyone.

  Including Lucas. Her chest tightened again.

  Stop it!

  As a leader for her flight, she had so much more to be worried about than carrying her own weight. The burden of her entire group rested on her shoulders and it was her responsibility to pull them all through.

  “Anna? What’s happened?”


  She swallowed the lump in her throat and glanced over at Jessica with a smile so damn fake, she had to see through it.

  “What happened?” Jessica jumped off the bed and made her way over.

  “Nothing, I’m just tired.” Wasn’t that the truth?

  Stepping around her friend, she made sure to keep her gaze away and focused on the task of getting ready for bed.

  “Bullshit. What did he do?”

  She paused at her locker closet, hands resting on the sides of the metal. She dipped her head as a wave of grief hit her. Of course she’d know. And she was only lying to herself thinking she could control these emotions.

  “He didn’t do anything, Jess.” A sob broke free on the last word, and her world splintered.

  “Oh, Anna…”

  Arms came around her. She gave in to her friend’s strength. Her legs felt like liquid and she collapsed to her knees. She sank into the embrace and let all the pain pour out of her. She needed to let it all go.

  She needed to let him go.

  Eight

  “Dude, what the hell is wrong with Anna?” Tony barked the next morning.

  Lucas followed Tony’s gaze to Annabelle. She was standing away from the rest of the squad, her arms crossed over her chest with her head down, staring at the ground. This morning, he tried to wait for her to walk to chow, but a few females in the room next to hers came out and told him she had left for the cafeteria. Then, when he tried to catch up with her there, he walked in only to see her leaving from the other side.

  He hated this shit.

  He already missed her.

  “I don’t know,” Lucas said.

  “Bullshit, dude. Last I saw, you were playing sucky face in the backseat. You two were fine yesterday. More than fine if the sounds she was making in the backseat were any indication.”

  Lucas scrunched his face. “Sucky face? Dude? That’s how you’d describe it? You are a fucking romantic.”