“J-just a-a-a-a l-lit-a-a-little diz-dizzi-n-ness,” I manage to force out. “G-gimme a m-minute.”
Derek lets out a yelp and falls sideways as I retch onto the ground in front of me.
“It’s OK,” Teddy murmurs over and over, her warm hand rubbing my back, her voice cracking. I never heard her get off her horse.
Alan hands me a bottle of water, which I take gratefully, sloshing more of it down my front than in my mouth, but it brings some relief.
“I-I can go. Let’s go,” I say.
Derek gives me an unsure look before taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.
“Carter—” Teddy starts, but I give her hand a squeeze and shake my head, wincing.
My brain feels like it’s being squeezed in a vice, and my vision is spotty. For a minute, I forget where I am or why I’m there.
“Carter?” Derek calls through the fog.
I cock my head at him. Carter. Carter George. That’s me. I’m in Arizona. I’m dying.
“I need to sleep,” I mumble, stumbling forward. Derek steers me to the horse where he and Alan help me climb on.
“I’m not too sure about letting you ride alone,” Alan says, worry etched into his young face.
“The sooner we leave, t-the better,” I breathe out.
“Well, I’m just going to tie you into your saddle, Carter. Don’t need you falling out and getting hurt.” Alan quickly cinches me in place without a word of protest from me.
“Ready?” he asks.
I give him a tired nod before he seems satisfied and mounts his own horse, leading us away from our resting place.
“Are you OK?” Derek asks.
“No,” I whisper. Or I think I whisper. Something tells me I haven’t because the look on Teddy’s face says it all.
29
Teddy
Carter can barely hold his head up by the time we’re back at camp. It takes both me and Derek plus some guidance on Molly’s part, to get Carter walking on his own.
“My tent,” he mumbles as we steer him to the Beastmaster.
“Carter, you need a real bed, not an inflatable one,” I admonish, his large frame weighing my slight one down. I suck it up and keep balancing him.
“No,” he whimpers. “No, Teddy. My tent. P-please.”
I cast a glance at Derek who looks troubled. He lets out a sigh and nods to me. We turn Carter back to the tent and help him inside. He collapses onto the air mattress and begins snoring almost immediately.
“We need to talk, Derek. Now.” I stomp out of the tent, the sound of Derek’s reluctant shuffle behind me.
The moment we’re out of the tent and away from it, I round on him and jab him with my finger in his hard chest.
“What the hell was that? It’s like he had a damn seizure out there.”
“It’s just stress—”
“I swear to all that is good and holy, Derek, if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on with my boyfriend, I’m going to bury you in these woods.”
Derek flinches away from me, his eyes darting around the campsite as he licks his lips.
“Teddy, Carter is my best friend. I swore to him I wouldn’t say anything. I can’t break that promise.”
I sigh and rub my eyes. “I’m afraid, Derek.”
“Me too,” he admits, moving forward and wrapping me in a hug. “When Carter is ready to talk about it, he will. For now, saying he’s stressed isn’t a lie. Let’s let him rest for now. We should do the same.”
I nod, sniffling, as I move away from him. I need to call my parents. I swore I would, and now seems like the perfect opportunity.
“I’m going to make some hamburgers on the grill. You want one?” Derek asks.
I nod at him and wipe my eyes. He chucks my chin and gives me a sad smile.
“Cheer up. Carter wouldn’t want you to be sad. He’ll be fine,” his voice shakes a little.
“He’d better be,” I whisper. The fear of something really bad being wrong and me losing the one thing I’d been searching my whole life for nearly overwhelms me.
That possibility isn’t acceptable. I’ll do whatever I have to do to prevent it from happening.
“Mom?” I ask as the phone clicks and my mom’s voice comes over the line.
“Theo? Honey, is that you?”
“Hey, Mom,” I say, my eyes burning. It’s been months since our last conversation.
“What’s wrong?”
“N-Nothing. Well, everything.”
“Oh, baby. Is it that Dick you’re dating?” she asks.
I snort. “Richie, Mom. His name is—was—Richie.”
“You broke up? Is that what’s wrong? Because, honey, that boy was about as useful as tits on a bull.”
“Mom!” I’m shocked at her language. My mom is usually so reserved and proper.
She laughs for a moment. “It’s for the best, Theo. He wasn’t good for you.”
“I know, Mom. We broke up a while ago. I-I met someone else. I think he’s the one.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but, um, he’s sick. He gets these headaches. They’re bad. He won’t tell me what’s wrong.” I pause for a moment. “I’m worried, Mom.”
“You need to talk to Dad, huh?”
“Do you think he’ll talk to me?”
“Sweetheart, you’re still his daughter. He’s a stubborn old thing, but he loves you. He’s in his study. Do you want to talk to him?”
I bite my lip before letting out a nervous sigh. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“One second.”
The line goes silent for a moment before I hear her whispered voice then my father’s deep one. I’m not even sure if he will take my call. My mom has always been optimistic. I’m surprised a moment later when my dad’s deep voice comes on the line.
“Theodora.”
“Hey, Dad,” I breathe out. A fat tear snakes its way down my cheek at the sound of his deep voice, and I hastily wipe at it. I was always Teddy to my dad. Hearing him address me by my full name hurts.
“Do you need money?” his voice is tight. Even if I did, I know he won’t give it to me.
“No. I-I called for a few reasons. None of them financial.”
“I take it you’re making money playing on street corners.”
I haul in a deep, calming breath. “I don’t play on street corners, Dad. In fact, I haven’t played for money in a long time.”
He’s silent for a moment before speaking, “Your mom tells me you broke up with that loser you were seeing in Nashville. That guy who paraded around, pretending like he was an agent.”
“I did.”
“Good.” There’ s a note of relief in his voice.
“I met someone else. I’m in love.”
Dad is silent for so long I fear I’ve lost him.
“Dad?”
He clears his throat. “What does this man do? Music as well? Starving artist?”
“He’s a businessman. Real estate, mostly. He owns his own company.”
“Really?” Dad’s voice lifts, relief coming out. “That’s good, Teddy.”
Teddy. There it was.
“He’s sick, Dad. Really sick. I’m worried about him,” my voice is choked again, and those damn tears are streaming down my cheeks. “I think he’s dying.”
“What makes you think that?”
“He has these headaches. His speech becomes slurred. He’s forgetful. His coordination is going. And today, I think he may have had a slight seizure. He doesn’t have a history of those things. He’s on this vacation, driving across the country. Derek, his friend, says he’s just stressed, but I know it’s something more, Dad. I-I need your help. I can’t lose him. I love him.”
“Where are you? I can see him early next week. I’ll have Janice move some appointments around,” he’s gruff, rushed. He’s all business now. This is a good thing.
I breathe out in relief. My dad is a busy man. For him to do this, it warms my heart, making me think he might
not hate me so much.
“We’re in Arizona right now. He has this crazy idea that he wants to go whitewater rafting. I don’t know if he’s healthy enough for it.” I fidget with the hem of my shirt while I talk.
“Get him here. I’ll take a look at him. Tell him to get in touch with his doctor and have his records forwarded to me. I want them on my desk before he gets here. Understand?”
“Yes.” I nod gratefully, even though he can’t see me. “What do you think it is?”
“I can’t say without a proper exam and records. What do you think it is?”
His question slams into me, reminding me of a game we played when I was growing up. He’d give me a list of symptoms, and I’d guess the illness. Seems weird, but it was one of my favorite things in the world to do.
“I-I think it’s MS or-or a brain tumor. A cancer of some sort. Maybe new onset of grand mal seizures, but that’s a strange thing to happen at his age. If they aren’t from cancer, then idiopathic, perhaps… No head trauma as of late. It just doesn’t make sense.” I tick off the possibilities, wishing I’d gone to medical school longer.
“I think you’re on the right track. Let’s just hope not.”
I sink down onto one of the camping chairs and run my fingers through my hair, thinking about all the things Carter has said to me.
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“I-I’m sorry for disappointing you. I know I’m not like Ethan and Naomi,” I say, speaking of my older brother and younger sister. “But if you can fix this, I swear I’ll do anything you ask me to do. I’ll go back to college and finish my medical degree—”
“Teddy,” he sighs. “I’m not disappointed in you. I only ever wanted the best for you. And maybe my idea of the best didn’t coincide with your idea. It doesn’t mean your idea is wrong, though. So, let’s not worry about it, OK? The only thing in the world that matters is that you’re happy. Are you? Happy?”
“So much, Dad,” I sniffle. “He’s my whole world.”
“Then we’ll figure the rest out later. Let’s get that young man feeling better first.”
My heart soars at his words. While we spent the last few years not getting along, this feels like something good is about to happen.
“Thank you, Dad.”
“You’re welcome, Teddy.”
“I’m so happy!” Mom’s blubbering voice comes on the line.
“Mom?”
“I’m sorry. I was listening in. I know that’s rude, but I’ve been so worried about you two. Your dad is right. Let’s get your special someone fixed up. You guys can come to dinner after the appointment. I’ll make sure Ethan and Naomi are here. It’ll be a reunion! My family together again! Oh, I’ll make lasagna!”
I share a chuckle with my dad over her enthusiasm.
“I’ll be there.”
“I love you, sweetheart. You take care. We’ll see you next week.”
“Love you too, Mom,” I say. Her sniffles of happiness fill my ear before the click of her hanging up leaves silence.
“Teddy, keep a log of everything. Bring it to me at his appointment. OK?”
“I will.”
“I wish I could talk longer, but I’m working on this breakthrough experimental surgery. We just got the paperwork in from a patient who I think will be an excellent candidate, and I need to finish reviewing his charts.”
“I understand, Dad. I’ll call you when we get to the city.”
“I look forward to it.”
I smile. “Night, Dad.”
“Night, Teddy.”
Later, I curl up next to Carter. He’s been out for hours now, and it’s starting to worry me.
“Why are you crying, Teddy Bear?” Carter’s soft voice pulls me out of a fit of silent tears. He reaches out with shaking fingers and brushes my tears away.
“I’m worried about you—”
“No, baby, no. No worries. I’m f-fine. I’m here.”
“You’re not fine, Carter. I know you’re not.”
He presses a tender kiss to my lips to silence me. “I missed you,” he says, his lips tickling against mine.
I cradle his face in my hand, the rough two-day stubble scratchy on my palm.
“My dad wants to help you.”
“You talked to your family?” His lips quirk up into a small smile.
“I did. My dad says he’ll see you early next week if we can get there. Please, Carter. Please agree to see him. My dad is one of the best doctors in the world. I know he can help you—”
“Is that what you want, Teddy Bear?” His eyes sweep over me in our dimly lit tent. “You want me to meet your parents, so you arranged for me to have an appointment with your dad?”
I know he’s teasing me, but I’m too worked up.
“No, Carter, I want you to be OK. I’m so worried about you. Please, I’m begging you to see my dad. If you won’t tell me what’s wrong, tell him. My dad will fix you—”
“Sweetheart, I love you so fucking much,” he says fiercely, his brown eyes shimmering. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I’ve thought about my issues for a long time. In fact, my own doctor is recommending me to someone for an experimental treatment. I told him no.”
“No, Carter,” I sob, my chest tight. “No, please! Tell him you’ll see whoever it is! You can send everything to my dad too. Just, please—”
“Shh, baby.”
He places his warm fingers to my lips. I can feel the slight trembling in them, and my heart breaks just a little more.
“I told him no. But my love for you knows no limits. And truth be told, I’d do anything for you, even die. I’ll call my doctor tomorrow and tell him yes. I’ll also have him send everything to your father’s office, but only after I speak to the doctor he wants me to see. OK?”
I nod vigorously, relief flooding through me. “Thank you.”
“I’ll tell you everything soon. I’ll meet with the other doctor first, though, OK?”
“OK,” I say, knowing it’s probably the best I’m going to get, but it’s better than nothing. We’re quiet for a moment, holding one another, before Carter speaks again.
“What about your music? I set Luke up. I can do that for you.”
“Not yet. My music will still be here. I want to make sure you’re fine first. Besides, I want to make it on my own. It was never about the money or being famous for me. I just love singing. It makes me feel alive. Even if I’m bussing tables and playing music in the park, I’ll still be happy.”
“Oh, my incredible, stubborn girl.” Carter chuckles, kissing the tip of my nose. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me and never leave me,” I whisper.
A tiny, sad smile flits across his handsome face.
“I’ll love you forever and beyond, Teddy Bear. That much I can promise you.”
30
Carter
“Hello?” I answer my phone as it buzzes by my head, Teddy’s naked body in my arms. I’m feeling better since my ordeal earlier. Almost as if it never happened. In fact, I wouldn’t know it happened if my damn body wasn’t so sore. Other than feeling like I hit the gym hard, I feel almost normal.
“Hey, Carter! It’s Luke!”
“How are you?” I grin.
“Incredible. My song is getting some airtime, and it’s in the Billboard Top 100.”
“That’s fucking awesome. I knew you could do it.”
“Ah, well, it wouldn’t have happened without you. I just wanted to thank you. I’ll be finishing my record here in the next few weeks, and they’re talking about touring. Can you believe that?”
“I sure can, man. I’m happy for-for y-you.” I wince at the stutter.
“I’ll have tickets for you to come see me in New York. I know I’ll be heading there.”
“I hope I’m still around. I’ll definitely be there if I am.”
Luke grows silent for a moment before talking again, “Is it getting worse?”
“Yeah,�
�� I say hoarsely.
“I’m sorry, Carter. Truly. You’re a good man, and you don’t deserve an ounce of pain.”
My eyes burn at his words, and I blow out a shaky breath. “I have Derek, Teddy, and Molly here for me. I expect it won’t be long now.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Just follow your heart. Always, man. No matter what. Live your dreams and don’t let anything ever hold you back.”
“I can do that,” he vows solemnly.
“Good,” I rasp, wiping at my eyes and giving Teddy a tender squeeze with my other arm. She smiles in her sleep and snuggles closer before her lips part again, and her breathing deepens.
“How’s Molly?”
“Good. Great. She looks out for us. But I think she misses you.”
“I miss her too. How’s Derek?”
“He’s doing good. I think I’m wearing him out. He’s not looking forward to our r-rafting trip coming up.”
Luke lets out a laugh. I imagine he’s sitting in his lavish hotel room with his guitar at his side and a mess of papers on his bed as he tries to write more music.
“And Teddy? Last I heard from you, you said you had a thing for her. How’d that turn out?”
I grin like a lunatic. My last exchange with Luke was a message that I was going to get the girl and his reply telling me he didn’t doubt me one bit.
“I got the girl.”
“Hell yeah, brother,” Luke whoops. “Did you tell her about everything?”
The happiness subsides as I look down at her. She looks so beautiful lying in my arms, her milky white skin pressed against mine.
“I haven’t told her yet. She knows I’m sick but not with what. I’m going to go see a doctor if he accepts me as his patient. It might prolong my life. Maybe cure it if the procedure they’re trying doesn’t kill me first.”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try. I’ll pray for you.”
“Thanks, Luke,” I murmur, choking on emotion. “I mean that. You’re a good friend.”
“You call me if you need anything. Doesn’t matter when. I’m here for you.”
Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology Page 76
