Every Breath You Take (Redeeming Love Book 2)

by J. E. Parker

  The moment my hand wrapped around the knob, a flower pot whizzed by my head before slamming against the door. It shattered on impact sending jagged pieces of hardened clay, and black potting soil tumbling to the ground.

  It’d only missed my head by an inch.

  “What the fuck!” I spun around, mouth gaping.

  Shelby was standing now, facing me. Her gorgeous blue eyes blazed pure fire. It was the most emotion I’d seen her show in days. She looked like she was seconds away from charging toward me and throwing a punch—or two.

  Throwing a flower pot at my head. That’s my girl.

  Her entire body trembled as she took a step forward. “I am not weak,” she said through gritted teeth. Her voice was gravely. The hair on the back of my head instantly stood on end. “I am not rolling over and giving up.” Another step. “And I am not choosing my insecurities or fear over either of you.” Jaw clenching, she balled her hands into fists. “How dare you fricken say those things to me!”

  Good girl. Get angry.

  “And I am the same girl that you fell in love, dipshit! I’m just…” Her voice took on a softer tone, her fists unclenched. She was retreating, backing down.

  Oh no, you don’t.

  Hell-bent on pulling her out of whatever shit show she was currently wallowing in, I lifted my chin and narrowed my eyes. “You’re just what?”

  “I’m just… just…” She sputtered, trying to think of something to say.

  “Spit it out, Shelby!” I yelled as I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. “Tell me what you feel, what you think!” Dropping my arms, I moved in her direction, closing the gap between us. I wrapped my hand around her jaw and tilted her face back. I wouldn’t allow her to hide from me any longer. “Don’t bottle it up!”

  Burying her hands in her hair, she closed her eyes. “I can’t think!”

  “Bullshit!” I leaned closer to her. Only a few inches separated her face from mine. “Just fucking say it! Unless you’ve become such a fuckinged coward that you can’t even say what’s on your mind anymore.”

  I fully expected her to slap me, but she didn’t.

  Wrenching her face free from my hand, she took a step back. “I’m fucking terrified!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. “Does that make you happy to hear?”

  It didn’t.

  “Don’t give me that cop out! You know I’ll handle Damien. He isn’t going to hurt you again. I’ll kill that motherfucker before he—”

  Taking two steps toward me, she slammed the heels of her hands down on my chest hard enough to make me grunt. “You stupid bastard!” She hit me again, this time harder. “Haven’t you listened to a word I’ve said? I’m not talking about him!” She sucked in a shaky breath. “I’m talking about you!”

  I was confused. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “You!” Another hit. “Scare the crap out of me!”

  Wrapping my hands around her wrists, I halted her assault. “Why are you scared of me?” I didn’t understand what the hell she was thinking. I’d let Grandmama cut off my nuts with a rusty can lid before I hurt her. “You have to know I’d never hurt you.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not it.”

  “Then what the fuck is it?”

  Jerking her wrists free, she crossed her arms over her chest. She dropped her gaze to the ground and took a deep breath before once again looking up and meeting my eyes. “Can’t you see it?” At my bewildered expression, she continued, “I’m in love with you, jackass!” I suddenly forgot how to breathe. “And I’m afraid you’re about to walk away from me.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she pressed her finger to my lips, silencing me. “What Damien did to me was bad, Tony. He damaged me, he scarred me, but he didn’t break me. But you have the power to destroy me and that fricken terrifies me. If you left…” Her voice trailed off. “If you left it would probably kill me. And Lucca… I can’t even think about what it would do to him.”

  She took a step forward and pressed her chest into my stomach.

  My skin heated at the simple contact.

  “With everything that’s happened, I’m just waiting for you to say you’ve had enough. I’m preparing for it, anticipating it. Even though you haven’t done it yet, I know it’s coming.” The fire in her eyes was replaced with sadness. “It may not be today, and it may not be tomorrow, but eventually you’re going to be just like everyone else who’s thrown me away like yesterday’s garbage.” I expected her to start crying, but she didn’t. She held herself steady, stayed strong. “The moment you realize I’m not worth all this shit, you’ll bolt. You’ll turn your back on me. You’ll leave me, leave us—“

  Oh, fuck this!

  Bending down, I wrapped my arm around her thighs and tossed her over my shoulder. She screamed and hit my lower back with her clenched fists. “What the hell are you doing!”

  I smacked her ass with my free hand as I descended the porch steps.

  Smack, smack, smack!

  “You son of a bitch!” Shelby screamed. “I’m going to kill you!”

  “No.” Smack! “You.” Smack! “Won’t!”

  At the bottom of the steps, I veered right, picked up my pace and headed straight for a storage building near the fence. I prayed like hell that it was unlocked. Shelby continued to hit me, continued to scream threats in my ear the entire way, and all I could do was smile.

  She’s backkkk.

  The door to the shed was unlocked—thank Christ—so I pushed it open and carried Shelby inside. The shed was mostly empty except for a wooden table in the center of the room and a handful of dusty tools hanging from pegs on the wall.

  I moved to the table and plopped Shelby’s ass on the edge of it.

  “You, big bastard!” She screamed before wrapping her fingers in the front of my shirt. “Who the hell do you think you are!” Tugging on the fabric, she jerked me toward her. “I should cut your dick off for manhandling me that way! No one—“

  “Shut the hell up.” Her mouth snapped shut, and a look of disbelief followed by momentary anger crossed her face. “You aren’t going to do shit to my dick.” I buried my hands in her hair and tilted her head back. “You like it too damn much.”

  Her eyes dropped to my rapidly hardening cock. She shrugged. “You’re right.” Reaching for my belt, she undid the buckle and slipped the leather free from my belt loops before I could blink. “And now I want it.” She looked up, and her eyes met mine. “Are you going to give it to me like I want or am I going to have to beg?”

  I almost groaned at the image of her on her knees, begging to be filled by me.

  But we couldn’t go there… not yet.

  Grabbing Shelby’s wrists, I pulled her hands away from the button of my pants. “sunshine,” I said, resting my forehead against hers. “We need to talk.” My girl visibly swallowed. Needing to comfort her, I ran my fingers through her hair and then brushed my thumbs across the apples of her cheeks. Her eyes slid close, and she exhaled. “I need you to listen to what I’m about to tell you.” Dipping my face, I pressed a kiss to her jaw line. “Can you do that for me?”

  Shelby sighed. “You keep kissing me like that, and I’ll do anything you want.”

  I chuckled. “I lied to you.”

  She tensed, no doubt plotting my death. “Lied to me about what?”

  Reassure her. Comfort her. Make her trust you.

  “I lied to you when I called you weak.” Her breath hitched. “I didn’t mean it.”

  “Then why’d you say it, shithead?” she hollered.

  Needing to have her taste on my skin, I pressed my lips to the sensitive area below the shell of her ear. She leaned into my touch, and I smiled against her flesh. “I was trying to make you angry.”

  “Why in the—”

  Separating my lips, I lightly sucked her throat. She gasped and clutched my shoulders with her hands. “Oh God,” she moaned. “Please do that again.”

  “In a minute.” My tongue peeked o
ut and trailed a line down the column of her throat. Reaching her shoulder, I pressed another soft kiss to her skin. Again, she moaned. “I made you angry so that you’d snap out of the fog you’ve been floating in the past three days.”

  Shelby dropped her head back, exposing her neck. I knew what she wanted, and I gave it to her. Switching sides, I moved to the other side of her throat and continued to explore. “Well, congratulations,” she whispered, digging her fingertips into my scalp. “Because it sure as hell worked.”

  Again, I smiled. “I figured that out when you threw a flower pot at my head.”

  “Tony,” she cried, tugging my hair. “Please suck harder.”

  “Baby, if I suck any harder you’re going to have a hickey. Maddie’s getting married in four days, I doubt—”

  She froze. “Son of a biscuit!” Placing her hands on my chest, she shoved me backward. Not expecting the move, I stumbled and almost lost my footing. “Maddie! She’s getting married!” Jumping off the table, she ran her hands through her wild hair. “I’m a horrible friend! I’ve been sitting here worrying about my damn self, and I didn’t even stop to think about what it was probably doing to her. To Hendrix.”

  Her head snapped up, and her eyes met mine. “Hendrix...” Her voice trailed off as she bit her bottom lip. “He’s my brother.” It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “And Pop is my father.”

  “Don’t overthink it, baby.” I knew she needed to process it but I didn’t want her to overthink the situation and slide back into the funk I’d just pulled her from. “We’ve got plenty of time. No reason to—”

  “Screw that. I want to see my big brother. I’ve got twenty-four years worth of shit-stirring to do.” Suddenly, I felt extremely bad for Hendrix Cole. Christ only knows what Shelby had planned for the poor bastard. “Want to know something?”

  I cautiously nodded. “The entire situation is messed up, but I’m used to it. I mean, look at my life thus far.” She smiled, and my chest warmed. “I’m glad he’s my brother. I had always felt connected to him, but I never knew why.” Her smile grew, and her eyes sparkled. “Guess I know why now, huh?” I opened my mouth to respond, but she kept yapping, cutting me off. “Do you believe in fate?”

  My answer was quick, resolute. “Yes.” It was the truth.

  Her eyes lost their luster for a moment, and I stepped forward, nearing panic.

  I shouldn’t have worried though. My sunshine came right back to me. “I didn’t. Not until I found Maddie.” She swallowed. “And then you came along and well...”

  My throat felt like it was swelling shut. “Baby, come here.”

  A moment passed before her lips quirked up on one side. “Nah,” she said, taking a step back, “I think I’ll just leave you and”—she pointed at my cock—“Mr. Big Stuff to suffer. Alone.”

  Without saying I word, I lunged for her.

  She squealed, spun around and ran out the door.

  I chased after her as she ran toward the house full bore. Laughing, she vaulted up the porch steps and flew through the back door of Grandmama’s house. I finally caught her in the kitchen.

  The little shit wasn’t lying about being fast.

  Wrapping my arms around her from behind, I yanked her back into my chest and buried my face in the side of her neck. “What did I tell you about running from me, sunshine?”

  Still laughing, she replied, “that you’d chase me?”

  “That’s right, gorgeous.” I kissed her neck for what felt like that hundredth time in the last ten minutes. “I always keep my word, Shelby. You better remember—“

  “Anthony Moretti!” Grandmama yelled, stomping into the kitchen. “There is no necking allowed in my house!”

  Necking? What was this? 1940?

  “But I like necking,” Shelby faux whined before elbowing me in the gut. I grunted and squeezed her tighter. “Especially with my stud muffin.”

  Grandmama’s face remained blank for a moment. Then, a huge smile spread across her face. “Glad to have you back, blondie.” She winked. “I missed your smart mouth.”

  Shelby looked around the kitchen. “Where’s Lucca?” Her body tensed.

  “He’s asleep,” Grandmama replied, looking at her like she was crazy. “Did you honestly think I’d let something happen to my grandson?” Her hands went to her hips. “I will blow somebody from here to kingdom come if they try to touch that little—”

  Shelby’s stomach chose that moment to growl, interrupting Grandmama’s tirade. “When was the last time you ate a real meal? And I’m not talking about them damn cereal bars you’ve been snacking on either!”

  Shelby shrugged. “Umm…”

  Grandmama took a step back and held up her hands. “Don’t say another dang word.” Cupping her hands to the side of her mouth, she hollered, “Keith!”

  Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and a shirtless Keith strutted into the kitchen a couple of seconds later. “What is it? I was gettin’ in the damn shower.” He pointed at his grass-covered legs. “I’ve been cutting grass. I’m covered in pollen, I’m sweating like a hog, and I stink.”

  Shelby snorted.

  Grandmama rolled her eyes. “Well, princess, when you get done getting all fixed up go outside and fire up the grill. We’re having a cookout.” She looked at Shelby. “Call everybody and get them over here. I want Maddie, Hendrix, Clara, the boys, Hope, and Evan.” She opened her mouth to say another name but thought better of it. Shelby, however, was a smart cookie. She knew what she was about to say.

  “And Pop, right?”

  A sad smile played at Grandmama’s lips. “That’s up to you, sweetheart. You come first. I won’t ever do something to make you uncomfortable. But just remember, you can’t avoid him forever.” She moved closer to Shelby and ran a finger down the side of her face. “Don’t let that blister fester, baby. Better to lance it now before it becomes infected.”

  Shelby remained silent for a minute. Then, “Guess I better call everyone,” she paused, “including him and invite them over for supper.”

  Grandmama winked at her. “That’s my girl.”

  Running my hands through her hair, I whispered, “Proud of you, sunshine.”

  She leaned back into me. “Yeah, well, if I kill him you’re helping me hide a body.” I laughed, but she only scowled in return. “I’m serious, Tony. It’s probably best to hide all the sharp knives and other weapons. Else I may get inspired.”

  I couldn’t do anything but hold her tight and laugh.

  34

  Shelby

  “Well,” Grandmama said, tossing a dishtowel over her shoulder, “I’m calling this cookout a success.” Picking up a bowl of potato salad, she started spooning it on a paper plate. “Keith didn’t blow himself up using the propane, nobody got in a fight, and we didn’t run out of hamburger buns.” She nodded to herself. “Yep, I’m declaring today a victory.”

  Maddie saddled up beside me and bumped her hip into mine. “And we got to see a new side of Detective Moretti,” she purred, a goofy smile on her face.

  I rolled my eyes at her antics.

  “Oh my God, Shelby,” she continued, leaning against me. “I think I fell in love with him a little myself.” Pinching my lips into a thin line, I glared at her. “The way he is with Lucca… that just…” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head. “It melted my dang heart!”

  Grandmama smiled. “Mine too.” She pointed the wooden spoon she held in her hand at me. “You better marry that man, Shelby. You ain’t gonna find another one like him.”

  I tried my best to appear nonchalant. “Maybe.”

  Maddie bumped into me again. “Maybe, huh? Well, that’s just—”

  A throat cleared from the doorway, pulling my attention from the apple that I was peeling for Liam, Clara’s oldest son. I looked up, and my eyes met Pop’s.

  “Shelby,” he said in a low tone. “You got a minute?”

  I’d known it was coming. Still,
I wasn’t prepared. I’d done my best to avoid him the entire cookout because I didn’t want to make a scene if I happened to lose my temper, which let’s face it, was likely. But apparently, I couldn’t avoid him any longer.

  “Yeah, Pop,” I replied. “Just give me a minute to finish this.”

  Surprise crossed his face. He’d obviously been expecting me to put up a fight.

  Poor guy probably thought I’d tell him to go fuck himself.

  “Sure, Bee. Take your time.”

  Bee? He’d never called me that before.

  Taking a step back, he turned around and walked out of the room. I could see his shadow lingering in the hall though so I knew he hadn’t gone far.

  “Here,” Grandmama said, taking the apple out of my hand. “Go talk to your father.” Her words made me freeze. Placing my hands on the counter, I curled my fingers around the edges for support. “Shelby.” Setting the apple down, she walked over to me and placed her hands on my cheeks. “Baby, I know he wasn’t always a good man, but he’s changed. He’s been clean for seven years now.”

  My body began to tremble as memories from my own shit-tastic childhood danced in the front of my mind. “He hurt Hendrix,” I choked out. “I can’t forgive him for that.”

  Grandmama nodded. “While I understand your anger, you need to understand something. That hate that you feel on behalf of your brother? That’s not your hate to bear.” I gritted my back teeth together as my frustration mounted. “Hendrix and Maddie both forgave him for what he did. They moved on. Now we all follow suit.”

  I shook my head. “So it’s just that easy, huh? You’re just supposed to forgive and forget?”

  “Forgive? Yes.” She paused. “Forget? Not in this lifetime.” She looked to the hall where Pop stood. “He knows that if he messes up again, it’s over for him.” Tapping her nails against the counter, she continued, “one wrong step and he loses everything. His son, his daughter in law, his grandkids, you.”

  I had a choice to make. Either I could try to forgive Pop and move on like everyone else had done or I could continue to hold onto the poisonous hatred that brewed in the pit of my gut.