Never Back Down

by Susan Harris

  “You are being very reasonable.”

  “I try.”

  She leaned in and pressed her lips against the curve of his jaw, the stubble on his chin tickling. “I promise to try and communicate more. It is an adjustment for me, oui?”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  Looking up into those oceanic eyes, Caitlyn replied, “You can ask me anything.”

  “Do you love me?”

  That was not the question she had expected, but she answered him anyway, “Can you not see the answer in my mind?”

  He grinned. “I can. But I want to hear you say it. Words spoken out loud become more real. I can read your mind, when you let me. Yet, there is power in words, Caitlyn Hardi. I love you, and I have loved you for too many years. Hear the strength in my words and understand that I am here for the long haul.”

  Caitlyn reached out and cupped his cheek, her answer the surest thing she had thought for a while. “Je t’aime, Donnie. All that I am, is yours. I will try and use my words more.”

  “Make me a promise, Cait. Here and now. That no matter how mad I make you, no matter what stupid shit I say, or territorial vampire crap I pull, you will talk to me rather than pull the ice queen act on me. These last few weeks, I was afraid to touch you, terrified that I was going to fuck this up before it even began. It has been torture. Thinking you did not want me almost killed me. Not when I’d had a taste of you.”

  Oh, how her chest ached. She had been so consumed with her own feelings, she did not consider his. Slowly she climbed into his lap and pressed her lips to his, realizing how much she had missed him, even when he had been close to her.

  Resting her hands on the sides of his thick neck, Caitlyn gave him a small smile. “And if I turn ice queen again, feel free to call me on it. I know I am not easy to deal with, but I promise to try and be better.”

  Donnie pulled her in close and whispered. “You do not have to be anyone else, but Caitlyn. My Caitlyn. Frost n’all.”

  This man made her wish that her heart still beat, for she longed to feel the sensation of it skipping at this man, who was patient, who was kind, and most of all, who loved her. Maybe, she considered, she had been consumed with who she had been when she was alive, not the Caitlyn that Donnie knew and loved.

  Caitlyn pressed another kiss to Donnie’s jaw. “Do you think we can be quiet?” As she scraped her fangs along his jaw, he growled and rose, taking her with him. She laughed as he strode toward his bedroom.

  Kicking the door closed, he sat down on the bed with her in his lap. “Remind me to tell the contractor that we need noise resistant walls in the new place. Really thick, noise resistant walls.”

  Kissing him with a fierceness she hadn’t been aware she possessed, she pulled back with a smile.

  “I love you, Donnie.”

  “Love you too, Cait. Now kiss me again.”

  And, she could not deny his request.

  Erika

  After spending the rest of the night and most of the morning in Loki’s bed, Erika left before Loki woke, the implications of what she had done too much for her to deal with. Now that they’d sated the curiosity of what it would be like to be together, she was certain he would lose interest, much like he had done with so many other lovers.

  But the way Loki kissed and caressed her, making her feel as if she were a queen before he possessed her utterly, made Erika’s heart hurt in ways she never imagined. Now as she sat on the floor in her room in the arena, she knew that even if he tossed her aside, there would be no one else for her. One taste had not been enough; she was addicted.

  Closing her eyes, she inhaled a breath, exhaled, and tried to clear her mind. She was so used to handling things by herself and having limited support that the past few days had been maddeningly confusing. Caitlyn could have killed Erika for what she had done to Kenzie, yet the vampire had offered support rather than reproach. That definitely was a new one for Erika.

  Her phone began to ring, and she opened her eyes, glancing down to see Ever blowing up her phone. Erika pressed ignore and closed her eyes again, thinking back to the first time she realized her feelings for Ever might not have been strictly platonic.

  Erika had barely slept the night before, the ceremony that would bond the seven Valkyrie together as Ever’s chosen sisters was the most exciting thing to happen to Erika since she had been chosen to be Ever’s general, the head of the Valkyrie army. It would be Erika they took orders from in Ever’s absence, Erika who determined what battles warriors could be harvested from, and Erika who held Ever’s confidence.

  There was no grander compliment than to be the queen’s chosen number two, and Erika had never been chosen for anything in her entire life.

  Erika bounded out of bed before the sun had even inclined to rise that morning, dressing in her new warrior clothing, the finest of Asgardian steal on her breastplate, embossed with the Valkyrie crest. The same steel clasped her knee-high boots, and her skirt was formed from a thick animal hide, doused in the blood of the sacrificial creature.

  Glancing in the mirror, Erika pulled her hair back, slipping the headdress on. Sticking three fingers into the blood colouring on her vanity table, she smeared the blood from left to right, down her face. When she lifted her eyes, she saw not the abandoned child of some Vanir healer. The woman staring back at her was confident, assured, and fierce. She was a warrior yet to face defeat on the battlefield. The warrior holding her gaze was a tactician who knew where and when to strike an opponent.

  This woman was strong, resilient and present.

  I wonder, will my mother be here today?

  The thought popped into her head before she could dispel it, yet Erika wasn’t certain that she would even recognise the woman who gave birth to her if they crossed paths. The sweet-as-honey voice that used to sing Erika to sleep had dissipated over time in her mind. Having spent the last twenty years training and working towards her goal, the child Erika had been when her mother dropped her on the shores of Valhalla had died, and Erika the Valkyrie had been born.

  A knock came at her hut’s door and Ever walked in, dressed in similar attire. The headdress that adorned Ever’s blonde hair was entirely regal, decorated with gemstones befitting a future queen.

  Ever gave a bark of laughter at Erika and pointed a finger at her face. “Being a little over dramatic, aren’t we?”

  Erika grinned back at her best friend. “This is the first time those in the Aesir will lay their eyes on me. Once they do, I never want them to forget who and what I am.”

  “Come on.” Ever sighed, holding out her elbow to Erika. “Let us get this over with. My father does not tolerate tardiness.”

  Erika took Ever’s outstretched arm, and they left Erika’s hut and made their way down through the shade of the trees and onto the shoreline where the ceremony would take place. Erika gasped at the sheer volume of immortals who had come to witness the blood bonding, but it was the ones who lounged in the section dedicated to the royal family that caught Erika’s attention.

  Thor sat with his wife, Lady Sif, and Odin, Ever’s father, sat with his new wife, Frigg. Balder, Hod, and Hermod were sitting beside their mother. Erika’s gaze skipped over them all until her eyes landed on the most infuriating person on the planet.

  Loki reclined in his chair, dressed in a striking suit of black and green, peeling an apple with a penknife. As if he felt her eyes on him, the god of mischief cast his gaze in her direction, and Erika felt her cheeks redden. Loki, arrogant ass that he was, simply chuckled, lifting his apple in salute.

  “Your crush on my brother is very nauseating.”

  Erika nudged Ever with her shoulder, reluctantly removing her eyes from Loki’s, as Freya beckoned them over. They stood in formation, in accordance of rank, in front of the most powerful gods in the world, hands clasped behind their backs, feet set apart and heads held high.

  Ever stood beside Freya, with Erika by her side, Danae stood beside Erika, and then came Rebekah, Joslyn, Ilna
la, Almira, and then the youngest of them, Marya, each dressed in similar clothing, energy buzzing as the seven new Valkyrie were to be introduced to the world.

  “Gods and goddesses, I welcome you to Valhalla to witness the birth of the most impressive Valkyrie class to ever watch over the world. Today, they bond themselves to one another, sisters in every sense. Blood spilled and shared. Warriors from now until Ragnarok.”

  Freya’s words ignited the excitement in Erika’s veins, and she had to use all of her discipline not to bounce on her feet. Freya took a blade from her waist and handed it to Ever, bowing her head slightly to her daughter in a show of rank that must have irked Freya so.

  “Share your blood with your sister and become as one.”

  Ever took the blade and moved down to the end of the row, slicing her palm open, then doing the same to Marya. Ever clasped her hand in Marya’s, and the young Valkyrie trembled as power saturated the air. Ever repeated the action, making her way along the line until she stood in front of Erika, and paused.

  “As future Queen of the Valkyrie, Ever has chosen Erika, warrior of unknown origin, to be her general. She will be the one to lay down her life for her queen, even before that of her sister. Erika will lead the armies of Valhalla into battle, upon orders from her queen.”

  Ever, who had her back to the audience, grinned at Erika as she slashed her already healing palm again before taking Erik’s hand and slicing through her flesh. Erika didn’t so much as flinch at the sting, simply lifted her gaze to meet Ever’s

  “May your blades be sharp and your arrows find their way.” Ever whispered and clasped her hand to Erika’s. Power almost made Erika’s knees buckle. The wind whipped her hair into her face, but she did not let go of Ever’s grasp. As the magic of the bond settled into place, Ever slipped her hand out from Erika’s, the biggest grin on her face.

  Erika stared at her best friend, saw the love Ever had for her, and her heart twisted. The thoughts that had plagued her for some time, when Erika happened to think about how beautiful Ever looked today, or how much she wanted to kiss her, all came rushing over her as the crowd erupted into thunderous applause.

  And as Thor lifted his hammer, exclaiming that now was the time for mead, Ever turned away from Erika, and she wondered if this was what it was like to fall in love.

  Erika opened her eyes, sighing long and hard. It wasn’t wrong for her to have feelings for Ever, but over time, maybe her feeling for Ever had warped into something that went above love and loyalty. It wasn’t like Erika hadn’t been attracted to a woman before. She believed a person should be attracted to both men and women.

  Ever looked at “Boyband” the way Erika had seen Caitlyn and Donnie look at each other. Their story went back for generations. Soulmates, if there was even such a thing. They were meant to be together, and Ever and Erika were simply meant to be best friends.

  As if the epiphany suddenly struck her with lightening, Erika bolted up from the ground and made for the door, coming face to face with the chaos demon who had left her for dead.

  “Erika! How wonderful to see that you are well!”

  “Cut the bullshit, Felix.” Erika snorted. “What do you want?”

  The demon’s ears twitched as he stroked the little tuft of hair he thought was a beard. “I have a fight for you.”

  “Not interested. Bye bye.” Erika went to pass him by when Felix said three words that stopped her in her tracks.

  “It’s the berserker.”

  Erika froze, her fingers clenching into fists. This was what she was waiting for, the chance to beat Odin’s location out of his rage monsters. Midgard had somehow dampened the full fury inside the berserker. This was her chance, and she couldn’t back down from it.

  “When?”

  Felix gave her a slow, sleazy smile. “Right now. I have a packed house waiting to see the woman who defeated a troll and took apart the Slayer of Paris.”

  “Let’s go.”

  Erika strode out, dressed in her usual clothing of combats, boots and a vest, as Felix prattled on about having a full house. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, Erika thought back to her memory of the warrior in the mirror who was fierce and feared.

  “Gimmie a knife.”

  “Pardon?”

  Erika sighed and held out her hand. “I’m not gonna stab you, Felix. Just give me a knife.”

  He nodded at one of his bodyguards, Erika taking the blade and slicing her left palm open. Felix studied her as she dipped three fingers into the blood and smeared it on her face. Erika flashed away for a moment, reappeared with her twin blades, and rotated her wrists.

  “They forget that I am not a mere mortal. Let me remind them of what I am.”

  “And tell me, Erika,” Felix began, ushering her out into the roar of the crowd. “What are you?”

  She turned her head to stare at Felix, a smirk curling her lips, and she was almost certain she saw fear in his eyes. “War.”

  Blood pumping in her veins, she took a running jump, somersaulting in the air and landed in the octagon, the berserker ripping off his muscle shirt on sight of her.

  “Calm down, Hulk Hogan. You might as well die with your clothes on.”

  The berserker roared in anger. “I will enjoy beating you to death, little one. And then I will fuck your corpse.”

  Erika threw back her head and laughed. “Aww, is that the only way you can get a girl, rager? I’m sure they have websites to help with that.”

  “I will crush your tiny bones to marrow.”

  “Bring it on, bitch.”

  Erika backed up against the fence, glancing over her shoulder when she heard her name. Her eyes connected with Ever, and she felt nothing as her friend mouthed. “May your blades be sharp, General.”

  Erika let her gaze fleet over the man sitting beside Ever. His relaxed pose, right leg folded over his other knee and hands clasped together was familiar, and her heart skipped a beat. There it was. The truth in the confusion of her mind. She was in love with Loki.

  Those eyes of a thousand universes watched her, until the god winked at her, flashing a confident smile in her direction. Erika nodded her head, facing her opponent once again.

  “I will give you one last chance to walk away alive. Tell me where Odin sleeps and you can keep your head.”

  The berserker smashed his fists together. “I could, little Valkyrie. But the Allfather no longer sleeps. I will lay your body at his feet in tribute.”

  Erika scratched her chin with the hilt of her blade. “First, I’m not little, I’m fun sized. Second, thanks for the spoiler alert. Third, I will be happy to present your head to my queen in tribute. Fourth, stuff an apple in your mouth like a good little piggy. Oink, oink.”

  He charged her, but Erika flashed to the other side of the ring, avoiding the berserker who skidded to a halt before colliding with the railing. He pivoted, beating a fist to his chest, as Erika taunted him some more.

  “Here, piggy, piggy.”

  This time, when the berserker came at her, she bent back for a second and struck out with the hilt of her blade across his back, sending him stumbling. War sang in her veins, acceptance of who she was, what she was, for probably the first time in her life. It bled new life into her tired lungs.

  The berserker kept coming at her, Erika avoiding each blow without batting an eye. Each move was on instinct, and the berserker’s eyes widened in surprise as Erika dodged another blow. When she brought the hilt of the blade up to his throat, taking him to his knees, she stood in the centre of the ring with her arms outstretched, and the crowd went wild.

  Flashing to stand behind the berserker, Erika crossed her blades against his throat, a foot pressed to the berserker’s back. He made to get up, but she dug the blades deeper into his flesh.

  “Any last words before I send you to Hel?”

  “I look forward to the day Odin crushes your skull.”

  “Pity you won’t be around to witness his demise. I’ll see you in Hel.”


  Erika uncrossed the blades, taking the berserker’s head clean off in one action. It bounced on the mat while she sheathed her blades across her back. Ever and Loki entered the octagon, and Erika picked up the berserker’s head and held it up to the crowd. When Ever came within reach, Erika dropped to her knees, placing the severed head at Ever’s feet, head bowed as the entire room went silent.

  “I lay a tribute at your feet, my queen.”

  A collective gasp rang out as Ever hissed, “Get off the ground, you idiot. You’ve just outed me to the goddamn world.”

  Erika rose, not caring that Ever wanted to keep herself hidden. The time for hiding had long passed. “You are their queen. They should all bow before you. Your father is awake and coming for us. We can no longer keep silent.”

  “It is not your place to decide that.”

  “Then start acting like the queen you were destined to be.”

  Erika flashed away from the arena, flashing to the highest point of the city and looking out onto the array of lights that shimmered in the darkness. She felt euphoric after her fight, finally feeling for the first time in her life that she was her own person. Loki’s aura penetrated the air, and she laughed loudly as Loki and Ever materialized next to her.

  “Look at all these people. Oblivious to what is happening around them. All of those people are alive right now–because of her. They owe their lives to her. To all of us.” She turned to face Ever. “I thought I was in love with you, but I’m not. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I crossed a line that got blurry. It won’t happen again. But Odin is awake and we cannot pretend like this isn’t almost the end.”

  Walking over, Erika placed her hands on Ever’s shoulders, repeating her message, “Odin is awake. We are out of time. I cannot lose my best friend. I cannot lose my sister. I have been by your side each and every death, and I refuse to witness that again. We must hold strong. It is time for this to end.”

  Ever reached up and put her hands over Erika’s on her shoulder. “And what do you suggest we do, General?”