False Illusions (False #1)

by A. Cramton

  You can do this. I tell myself.

  Grabbing my coffee to-go mug I sprint downstairs thankful that I called ahead for a cab. I was not walking it this morning, especially not in these five-inch heels.

  I hyperventilate the whole cab ride to the office. If I don’t calm the hell down I was going to pass out, and how embarrassing would that be? The new girl passed out and I’ll forever be known as the new girl that passed out on her first day.

  The driver coughs to catch my attention and I realize we have already stopped outside the building.

  It’s time to put your big girl panties on, Madison.

  Paying the driver I head into the building, ignoring the bile rising in my throat. Secretly wishing I could talk to Yoel, he would know just what to say to calm my nerves.

  The New Yorker is on the eleventh floor, my shaky hands press the button. Thankfully I have the elevator to myself because I’m sure I look like I’m freaking the fuck out.

  The elevator chimes indicating me that I have reached my floor. The doors open and the first person I see is a blonde man behind a desk typing away at his computer while talking on a headset. The whole floor is an open concept, I can see other writers at their desks either typing away or on their phones. No one looks up to see the new meat standing here lost.

  Suddenly I’m being almost knocked over and my coffee almost flies out of my hands.

  “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I’m such a klutz!” Looking over I see a tiny woman with a head of fire red curls and black frame glasses.

  Forcing a smile I shake my head. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m Madison St. Cruix. I’m the newbie.” I hold my hand out for her to shake.

  She blinks and stares at me before shaking my hand. “Oh my god, you’re so pretty. You’re the new pop culture staff writer, right?”

  This time I give her a real smile. “Yes, I am.” I glance back to the receptionist, he is still talking away.

  “Oh, I’m so rude. I’m Emma, the television critic.” She adjusts her thick glasses. “That’s Charles.” She tilts her head toward the blonde. “I can take you to Carlie.” Emma turns on her feet and heads down the aisle.

  As I follow Emma heads start to pop up and I realized I’m way over dressed, mostly everyone is causal, and here I am looking like I just stepped off the runway of the Chanel show. I mentally face palm myself.

  Emma knocks on a wood door and pushes it open. Automatically I recognize Carlie who is sitting behind a large oak desk.

  “Madison, so good to see you.” She smiles up at me. “Have a seat.”

  The door shuts behind me giving the jump I need to slide in the seat across from my new boss. She reminds me of the boss from NCIS:L.A. with her short black bob and glasses.

  “I see you met Emma, she’s great.” Carlie nods toward the door. “So are you ready for your first assignment?”

  Already? I don’t get a tour or anything. This is not calming my nerves at all. Instead I nod and smile. “Of course.”

  Leaning back in her chair Carlie studies me. “You’re young. Mid twenties, you know what’s popular. You’ll have free reign over what you write as long as it’s pop culture.”

  Well that didn’t help. I was hoping more for a topic, not figure my own topic out. I’ve only been here fifteen minutes and I was already overwhelmed.

  “Sounds great.” I stand up adjusting the strap of my messenger bag. “Where can I set up?” I smile brightly.

  I have been sitting at my new desk for forty minutes staring at my blank computer screen. I have no idea what’s happening in the world, how sad is that.

  So far I have met only three other writers. Emma, who is totally awesome. Nick Ellis, the politics staff writer and Carter Moore, he wrote the sports section. They all wore glasses and I was starting to wonder if that was a thing here.

  Carter’s desk was the closest to me so we made idle small talk. He was a little bit older than me and was from Boston. His accent was adorable, just like he was. He had that geek model look going on with his stylish brown hair and black rimmed glasses, my guess was that they were Tom Ford. Carter also didn’t look like the sports type, but I guess looks don’t mean anything.

  I jumped in my chair when Charles set a vase of at least two dozen roses on my desk with a box. What the hell?

  “An admirer already?” Emma bounces up to my desk taking a big whiff. “So pretty.”

  She was right they were gorgeous, I love the way they weren’t just red, but had a mix of yellow and pink. Who could these be from? I blush when I notice a few other writers sending me looks. So now I’m the newbie that dresses like a runway model, doesn’t wear glasses and gets roses on her first day. Great!

  I peer at the brown box. And I get a gift? I don’t remember giving anyone my work address. Especially not Chelsea.

  “Are you going to open it?” Emma asks.

  Making quick work to open the box I gasp when I pull out a blue box. I know this blue.

  Emma gasps. “Holy shit. It’s from Tiffany’s”

  Carter looks up, biting the tip of his pen. “Boyfriend?”

  I just shake my head. I wasn’t sure how to answer that. Of course the answer is No, and I couldn’t call Yoel my boyfriend without thinking about my ex fiancé.

  Pulling the ribbon off the slim square box I open it to find the most perfect silver charm bracelet. Picking up the delicate chain I smile when I see the doll. Yoel.

  My heart does a double beat.

  Next is a typewriter, a book, a crown and a heart with an ‘M’ engraved on it. Frowning I’m about to set the bracelet back in the box. I couldn’t wear it. Not while I’m still hurting, but the bracelet is taken from my fingers.

  “Let me put it on you. Lucky girl.” Before I can protest Emma is already clasping it around my wrist. “Here, there’s a card. Who ever sent this must love you a lot. I heard Jean in Fashion talking about the new charm bracelets…”

  I block her out as I open the small envelope. There’s a typed up note that reads:

  Madison,

  Congrats on following your dream, baby doll.

  Hope you like the roses and gift.

  Yours,

  Yoel

  Of course he knew where I got a job. I need to have a long talk with my best friend. The bracelet dangles from my wrist and I have to admit I love it. Should I text him and thank him? He might think I’m ready to talk, and I’m not. Everything is still so fresh and here he goes and does this. Damn you Yoel.

  I catch Carter looking at the bracelet, roses and then me. “So no boyfriend. Husband then?”

  I laugh. “No. Just a friend.”

  “Well do you have anymore ‘friends’ that buys a thousand dollar charm bracelets?” Emma grins.

  “Don’t you have a T.V. show to watch?” Carter flicks his pen at her. “I’m trying to work here.”

  She flicks him off. “Still haven’t gotten a response from the heavyweight champ?” She mocks. I perk up at this information. He’s been trying to interview Marcus?

  He sighs. “I need boobs in order to get his attention.”

  That makes me laugh because it’s so true. Gosh I needed that laugh.

  “Eh, I heard his fiancé left him.” Nick looks up from his laptop.

  “I wasn’t aware he even had a fiancé.” Carter looks surprised. “No wonder she left.”

  Frowning I tilt my head. No one knew about me, I was surprised they didn’t recognize me, but the way Carter is looking at me I’m sure he’ll catch on soon. There are pictures of Marcus and me for anyone who digs deep enough.

  The rest of the day goes by without a hitch. Emma and I get tacos at a place around the block from the office for lunch. Most of it she spends telling me about some documentary about a guy wrongly convicted and how I should do an article about it. Apparently the story is everywhere. At the end of the day Emma makes sure we swap numbers so she can show me around the city sometime.

  Carter catches me right after and also offers his
services to show me around. I learned that he’s been living here for about six years. Not to be rude I swap numbers with him also, but I know I won’t be using it.

  He hails a cab for me and I offer and smile “Thanks, see you tomorrow.”

  “Eleven Madison Parker,” I tell the driver as soon as Carter shuts the door for me.

  I hope I don’t have to friend-zone him. I have enough male problems. The biggest one just gave me an expensive charm bracelet.

  Of course the restaurant my mom picked would scream money. The lights are dim and there are candles flickering when the host takes me to the table where my mom is sitting scrolling through her phone. I haven’t seen her in months. Her pale blonde hair is cut short to her shoulders, where I wear mine long.

  “Hey mom.” I smile sitting across from her.

  She smiles putting her phone down. “Madison you look lovely.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I ordered some wine and starters.”

  The waiter sets two glasses on the table just as she says it and we both can’t help but laugh.

  I tell her about my first day and about my co-workers, she tells me about how dad is doing and about her new charity projects.

  It isn’t until I’m swirling pasta around my fork that she brings up the elephant in the room.

  “So.” She dabs her mouth with a napkin. “Marcus called me earlier. What happened, Madison?”

  I set my fork down. “Mom, you know I never wanted to be with him. I did it for you and dad, but how can you expect me to stay with someone who continues to disrespect me and cheat on me?” I say. “I couldn’t do it anymore, and as my parents you guys should want more for me.”

  There I said it. My parents weren’t shitty parents, they just were blinded by Marcus’s charm and hoping he would change for me.

  My mom frowned, but it wasn’t in disappointment, but in sadness. “Your right, baby girl. Your father is very upset about how he has been acting. He never liked him and I just wanted you to have what I have. I admit I went about it the wrong way. I’m sorry.”

  I reach across the table and grab her hand. “Honestly mom I thought you would try to make me go back.”

  She scoffs. “Please Madison. Give me more credit than that. Now tell me who broke your heart.”

  This time I frown. “His name is Yoel.” I watch her face and wait for the name to sink in. When the shock covers her face I know she knows who I’m talking about.

  “I think we’re going to need more wine. Just bring the bottle.” She catches the waiter’s attention.

  Two bottles of wine later and I spilled the whole story about the affair, from when I met Yoel until the night I left and didn’t look back a week ago. Tears well up in my eyes with every word, every memory that I retell to my mom. She never interrupts, just sits and listens, refilling my wine glass when it got low.

  It felt good to get this out, to tell someone other than Chelsea. I show her the bracelet he sent and about the roses that are still on my desk, because I know if I take them home I would stare at them all night and fall into another bottle of wine.

  This was the deepest conversation we had in a long time. I expect her to be so disappointed in my infidelity, but instead she tightens her hold on my hand and tilts her head.

  “You’re in love with him,” she states.

  All I can do is nod. I have already come to the conclusion that I am in love with Yoel Gonzalez.

  My mom takes a moment to not say anything. She purses her lips and grins. “You know when I met your father I was dating someone else.”

  “But it wasn’t like that mom. He used me,” I cut her off.

  She nods. “Yes. It might have started off like that. Yes. It was a horrible thing to do, but at the end he came looking for you. Don’t you think if he was just playing with you he would fly all the way here when he’s training?”

  I may or may have not thought of that. “Still he lied.”

  “And so has Marcus,” she counters. “But tell me this. Does he make you feel like the only woman in the world?”

  “Yes,” I automatically answer.

  She smiles as if I just solved my problem.

  Rolling my eyes I huff out. “I’m still not ready to forgive him.”

  “Of course you’re still hurt. I’m not saying take him back right this second, but think about it. Give yourself time to just be on your own.”

  That’s what I’m going to do. Take time for me.

  When we’re outside waiting for cabs my mom pulls me in for a hug.

  I hold her tight, I’m so happy we had this dinner.

  “Madison, I’m so proud of you. I can’t say sorry enough for the Marcus situation, but your father and I are so happy that you’re happy.” She kisses my cheek. “Oh, and your father is dropping that asshole after the fight.”

  I burst out laughing. Go dad!

  Later in the night while I get ready for bed I feel lighter than I’ve ever felt. I started my long awaited career and I have my parents back, without Marcus.

  Life is coming together all I had to do was try.

  Good Enough- Empire Cast

  Not one fucking text. Not one fucking call. Fuck, not even a note brought by an owl from fucking Harry Potter. Not a peep of a thank you for the gift. Or the roses. It's been almost a week and nothing. Is this what it has come to?

  Yasmine lied. My sister told me jewelry makes everything better and I stupidly believed her. I didn't even bat an eye at the price of the charm bracelet that Yasmine said was a must have. I don't know what women like, I was clueless. The charm bracelet was supposed to guarantee at least a thank you so I could try and talk to her. But nothing. Not a single word.

  The first time Madison left me sucked, but I was lucky enough to pull her back in. This time I was miserable. It felt like part of me was missing, and I was too scared to think about what that might actually mean.

  You love her.

  I know I love her. I admitted that already.

  I groan. Fuck. Does this empty pit I feel the symptoms of being in love? If so, cupid can come take his arrow out of my ass now. He hit his mark, now can he just get her back for me?

  Today was an off day, which meant I didn't have to set foot in the gym. I had all day to mope around the penthouse and randomly get upset that I still haven't heard from her.

  I need a new approach, and this time I wouldn't be asking my little sister, she'll have me forking out another grand. Not that Madison isn't worth it, but I need a different path. Clearly she doesn't care how much I spend.

  Refusing to ask anyone for help, I turn to google. Google knows everything.

  Google led me to three places. A print store, a bookstore and Macy’s. I wasn't supposed to spend money, but it was way less than a grand and my new googled gifts were thoughtful, according to ‘Tiny Buddha’.

  Chris insisted he tag along, but I threatened him not to say anything. He laughed and muttered “pussy whipped” under his breath.

  I ignored him.

  He has no idea how crazy I'm going, or what lengths I'll go through just to get her to acknowledge me.

  Looking at the items once I get back to the hotel, I nod to myself. I have officially gone nuts. This is the most sappiest shit I’ve ever done.

  “So is this box going to be a winner?” Chris nods the shipping box I'm packing.

  Frowning as I tape the box up. “That's the plan.”

  He nods “I hope it works. I'm tired of seeing you like this.”

  “Like what?” I inspect the box.

  He snorts. “Like a love sick puppy. Bro, you have it so bad. Does she know you're in love with her?”

  “Is it that obvious?” I ran my hand through my hair.

  Chris eyebrows shoot up. “Um, yeah. So I take it she doesn't know.”

  Does she know? Can she see it like Chris can?

  I shrug. “I have no idea. I haven't told her.”

  I’m hoping for this box to show her for me. If she doesn
’t respond to this, then I'm just going to have to accept that she is done with me, and I can't even blame her. But I'm sure hoping like hell because I need my baby doll in my corner on fight night.

  “I could really go for some pizza.” Chris flops on the couch. “Do you have Chromecast?”

  I squint my eyes. “What the fuck is that?”

  Rolling his eyes he stands back up. “Just order the pizza and I'll be right back.”

  An hour and a half later I'm regretting treating myself to pizza. I told myself one slice, but one turned into a whole box and now I'm dying on the couch watching Kevin Hart with Chris on the flat screen. I need to invest in a Chromecast , the whole time I've been watching Netflix on my laptop.

  Automatically I think about Madison and how we used to lay in bed watching Netflix on the laptop. She never complained, just snuggled up next to me. These memories are killing me. It’s been weeks since I felt her next to me, kiss me, talk to me.

  Chris is right, I’m pussy whipped in the worst way. Jokes on me.

  I miss her so fucking much. So. Much.

  “Just give me a chance, baby doll. Just a chance,“ I say into the empty bedroom. Running my hands through my hair I grip it. My pride won’t let me shed a tear, but fuck I was dying inside. How could this blonde haired, grey eyed woman work her way into my life and heart in just a matter of weeks.

  I’m so fucked.

  I Almost Do- Taylor Swift

  Knock, Knock

  The knock at the door startles me. I have been living here for three weeks, and the only visitor I’ve had was my ex-lover. A knot forms in my gut. Was he back again?

  Slowly I walk to the door, this time checking the peephole. Relief untangles the knot when I see it’s a delivery boy. I open the door and quickly sign for the package.

  The writing catches my eye. It might not be Yoel at my door, but in a way it is. He sent another box. I glance at the charm bracelet that I haven’t taken off since Emma put it on for me.

  How can he possibly top this? I still haven’t said anything. That makes me a bad person, right? But, yet here’s another package addressed to me. My mom is right. If I was truly just a game piece he wouldn’t be trying to get me back.