My Ride is a Bitch (The Kurtherian Gambit Book 13)

by Michael Anderle

  “Because I ordered them to.” I turned and looked at the older woman in a sharp business suit.

  “And they chose to ignore the signs and the warning notice on the door?”

  “I told them to. We have not been introduced. My name is Special Agent in Charge Madeline Mills.”

  “Nice to meet you Special Agent. Now, why did you tell them to attempt to break in? They could have been killed!”

  She studied me for a moment. “My predecessor left me some unreadable notes concerning this place. I rescinded the orders concerning it to see what would happen.”

  “Are you freaking crazy?” I saw the look on her face. “Of course you are. OK. Short story. You know about how I ended up here?”

  She nodded. “It’s a special program to give the bureau its own Magical Agents.”

  “Correct. I have a few issues with my family and the Council offered this as a solution. They have teachers coming to help train me.”

  She nodded. OK. At least we were on the same page so far. “My grandmother sent along some witch supplies so that I would not have to rely upon the FBI for them.”

  “We have many resources available to us. We can get most anything that you would need.” I smiled. She did know what was in there.

  “So, you do know what is in my lab.”

  I looked past her to a trio of men in suits peering at my lab. I could feel the magic coming off them in waves. “You might want to tell your Merc’s to leave my shield alone.” As I watched one of them stuck his arm inside and was unable to pull it out. “Oops. Too late.”

  The SAC turned and made a face as she watched the three men trying to remove the man’s arm. “Where did you get those three?”

  “Those are some of our best contractors! They have saved many lives.”

  “Uh, huh. Let’s see if they can get his arm out.”

  The three men struggled some more and finally a second man’s leg became stuck too. They were starting to attract attention from the military now.

  I shook my head. “That is why you need me. Those three would kill everyone here to get at what is inside that building. My grandmother sent what I would need to protect myself and perform my duties for the FBI. Before you say anything, listen. The supplies that are available commercially are shadows of themselves. The pure forms are the real deal. Look around you if you don’t believe me. This has happened before. It is why they put the signs up. While I am here on the base, the traps I set are mostly non-lethal. If I leave they are not. Only I or my grandmother can release them. They are that powerful.” I turned and pointed at the three Mercs. All three were now stuck.

  “How did you know they tried to break in?”

  I smirked. “It is the only way the trap would have triggered. Someone has to either attack the building or attempt to get inside without a key. The wards are set to allow certain people and animals into them. As I said we have had issues in the past.”

  “Can you release my people?”

  “Of course.” I muttered a phrase to myself, careful to not speak the whole thing aloud. Some secrets should remain secret. I waved my hands and made the gesture for release. The result was dramatic.

  The first to drop was the three Russian mercenaries. They were followed by the MPs then the Marines close to my building. The rescue squads rushed in along with the ambulance teams to check for injuries. I only had eyes for the Mercs. The three of them made a beeline straight for my lab. This close they would be able to sense some of what was inside.

  I took two steps to my left getting the SAC out of my line of fire. “Stop.” I said it loud enough for them to hear. They continued to rush forward toward the prize of a lifetime. Dammit! I held out my hand, and it burst into flame. I cried out ‘halda’ and took a step toward them. The taller of the three heard me and froze. He noticed my right arm.

  “Ms. Blackmore what is the meaning of this! I demand you stand down!”

  “Sorry Special Agent, but your hired help have scented out my stuff and now that my defenses are down they are trying to take it.”

  She looked at the three men as they approached the building. She yelled at them. “Vernut'sya k avtomobilyam.”

  They looked in her direction, but ignored her. I shook my head. It was up to me. The building had a failsafe, but everything would be gone. I needed that stuff!” They won’t follow your orders. My stuff will make them kings back home and they know it. Step back please.”

  I spoke ‘halda’ again and threw a fireball at them. It exploded between them and the building. The taller Russian pointed in my direction and muttered to his companions. They spoke words aloud and began tossing spells in my direction.

  Idiots! I spoke ‘skjald-borg’ and a shield wall formed, separating us from the mundanes. It was one of the first laws. Protect the innocent. None of their spells impacted upon me. They hit my protections and bounced off. I powered up another fireball and reinforced it with a shield of electricity. I watched as it burned through their shields and electrified the taller man. He fell to the ground in convulsions. One down, two to go.

  ~~~~

  SAC Mills strained her eyes to see inside the wall that suddenly appeared between her and the Witch. She shook her head. It may have been a mistake to send in troops to break in. Her predecessor really had left garbled instructions regarding the witch student. Her bosses had left instructions too. Test the witch. Her only experience with magic had been with the Mercenaries that the FBI hired. This girl was something else.

  “Happy with yourself?” The Special Agent looked behind her. A slim young looking girl stood behind her. She was pointing at the Witch. “You do realize that if you get Agatha killed before she finishes her training the Witch Council will most likely never work with the FBI again. No matter how much you beg.”

  Studying the girl, the Special Agent asked who she was.

  “I’m Agatha’s roommate. Catherine Moore - nice to meet you. So what happened to piss-boy? He retire?”

  Piss boy? “Did you know the former Director?”

  “Sort of. He tried to have Agatha killed on her first day at school. He claimed it was all a misunderstanding, but she had him upside-down thirty feet in the air for over an hour. Scared the piss right out of him!” Cat was peering at her roommate through the shield.

  “Chuck? Go make sure those three idiots don’t have an escape route.” The giant man standing behind the small girl walked over to the Merc’s car and casually ripped the doors and tires off it.

  Madeline swallowed and looked back at Cat. “He’s handy to have around.”

  “He is, isn’t he? Get ready, Agatha has them on the run.” The three men were now trying to hide behind the MPs’ car and were tossing all sorts of spells at her. Agatha was still responding with fireballs. The men suddenly ducked down low as she fired one off. She quickly tossed a blue ball that froze the entire area, including the three Mercs. Suddenly the shield dropped and Agatha Blackmore stepped over to her friend…

  CHECK OUT THE BOOK AT AMAZON HERE

  FROM MICHAEL >>> Ok, I really enjoyed this story for it’s snarky humor, easy read, and fun friends I’m beginning to get to know. Some characters are ‘lets hate the witch’, sure, but not everyone. I like when the people keep getting stuck in her protection shield… I just find that funny as hell.

  I hope this large snippet is enough to give you a good idea how Paul’s story goes. Paul is one of the group of four readers who came from my readers who started helping me with editing The Kurtherian Gambit back in January 2016 (for book #6).

  No sweat if this story isn’t your cup of tea, I just appreciate you taking the time to see what Michael Anderle - The Reader finds fun.

  See you soon!

  Michael

  AUTHOR’S NOTE for My Ride is a Bitch October 4th, 2016

  First, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BOOK (and these author notes).

  It has been thirty-four days since the last release (We Have Contact) and it feels easily like three times that
long. More for personal challenges than anything related to book writing (although that, too).

  One small, but funny story. My wife is tired of ‘bitch’ in my stories (well, to be fair in the titles). I tried to explain that bitch is a derogatory term which has been turned around in The Kurtherian Gambit and is a badge of honor, now.

  However, since she doesn’t read the books, my explanation only goes so far. Wives, it seems, can be pretty annoyed with the term bitch and you, by God, are guilty until proven innocent and you WILL go through multiple trials to be declared innocent.

  I’m not through all of those trials, just so you know. Lord, not even close. Tack on she’s Hispanic, and the evil eye is done with a foreign accent that makes you concerned, and confused at the same time.

  I promised her I would not use the term bitch in any more book titles for the Kurtherian Gambit… I didn’t tell her I already had all of the future book titles and I knew I was not using the term for any future book. So, no harm, no foul, right?

  I promised not to use it, she is happy.

  So, let’s get off that story because one day, she might read this and I want to say if my beautiful, wonderful, long-suffering wife is reading this?

  I LOVE YOU HONEY! ;-)

  Now, about that little bit of German Speech…That I didn’t get right!

  Below is from one of my fans Mor Itz on the Facebook Forums. He and Bjorn Schmidt quickly told me that a little German I had Bethany Anne speaking was wrong. This happened because I placed a snippet (early chapters) out on http://www.kurtherianbooks.com and they noticed I said something in German that didn’t work and therefore was wrong.

  As in, not even understood by Germans wrong. That’s pretty damned wrong. Often, here in the United States, if someone says something, we will get what the intent is, not so much with my little effort to have Bethany Anne tell the three German Mercs they were ‘Gutter Swine’…No thanks to you, Google Translate.

  Google Translate, fastest way to say something wrong in a foreign language invented to date (used by Authors all over the world).

  Here is Mor Itz comments from Facebook (our conversation) explaining the new and improved German choice.

  Mor: I’m fine, thx and you? Schweinehunden is a form of plural from Schweinehund that would fit there. It has multiple meanings:

  1. It can be used as an affection if said with a smile between good friends, like when someone does a practical joke that doesn't hurt anyone but is really embarrassing.

  2. As an insult it is a person who has no conscience and would do depraved things (like tying a girl to a bomb) and also calls the heritage of said person into doubt (the dictionary I have here translates Schweinehund to bastard but that is not entirely accurate). It is mostly a mid level insult, however immigrants from Turkey take it way more personally and can get violent. Otherwise, it is used for almost anyone. From the person who just bumps into you on the way to the bus to the worst criminals one can imagine.

  Bethany Anne speaking to Yuko’s parents:

  Now, I provide these translations below understanding that: 1) They are also from Google Translate (damn) and that I don’t have any Japanese fans that can correct me like I have in Germany (double-damn!)

  あなたには、美しくて知的な娘がいます。彼女は、私の個人のチームの大切なメンバーです。あなたは誇り高いはずです

  is

  You have a beautiful and intelligent daughter. She is a valuable member of my team. You should be proud.

  Bethany Anne finishing her speech to the people in the stadium:

  *ご支援に感謝します、ユウコのような強い娘が、ニール州から、私たちの世界をより安全な場所を作り、助けることができる国であるためにあなたに感謝します。貴重なお時間をいただき、ありがとうございます

  is

  Thank you for your time, thank you for your support and thank you for being a country where a strong daughter like Yuko, from right here in Neru Province, could help us make the world a safer place.

  New Shoes

  Ok, wife went on a business trip for her job to China and Japan in between books 12 and 13. Not unusual, most fans know I started writing in part because my wife leaves for long business trips. She came back with extra stuff.

  Again, not unusual. She will pick up things here or there usually as small gifts to give away. Unfortunately, something new arrived in this luggage that hasn’t happened before and it concerns me.

  It was a pair of shoes.

  That’s not a scary thing…yet.

  No, what’s scary is the NAME on the shoes. You see, when my wife travels for her company, they are always staying in hotels in the nicer part of the city. This makes sense because the business meetings happen there for her. BUT, it is what ‘else’ is in that part of the cities that I’m starting to understand should concern me.

  Shoe stores… NICE shoe stores.

  When she was in China, she was in one of the nicest portions of the most prestigious city … or at least one that HAD MORE HERMES STORES THAN THE WHOLE STATE OF TEXAS.

  She succumbed to temptation.

  I hope she starts traveling here in the US only. In Dallas, there is only one (1) Hermes store in the whole city. I checked. Then, I checked Las Vegas…There are three Hermes stores just around the lower strip area alone.

  Son of a bitch.

  I’m not saying anything. But, I see a pair of shoes and think what all men think…

  Seriously? Why won’t the $69.99 pair at (insert store here) work just fine? It’s a few pieces of leather held together by a pretty buckle. Can’t be $10.00 in materials cost, right?

  I’m almost fifty. I’ve learned just enough to know and I’ve gotten rid of enough assholious to keep my mouth shut.

  Also, I will remember this story when I buy that next expensive Apple product.

  Heck, I should write off the shoe cost(s) as research for Bethany Anne… BOOYAH!

  Problem solved.

  Snicker… Save your time IRS people, I’m not actually going to do that. But it is funny as hell.

  See you next month!

  Michael Anderle