Turns Out I Do Know The Muffin Man (A Dear Mary Mystery)

by Stacy Matthews

  In the kitchen, the doorway to the downstairs is next to the stove. The wall at the bottom of the landing had been made into a huge mirror, and then three steps down and to the right is the family room, which is a very large open space. They had a 60” TV mounted on the wall and some of the most comfortable looking furniture I have ever seen. Well, it looked comfy in the pictures anyway. They had a coffee table and two end tables, something that looked like a cross between an oversized armchair and a chaise lounge, an L-shaped sofa and what was obviously Mr. Burkhart’s favorite recliner. It didn’t go with any of the other furniture. The house was neat as a pin. The officers had done their neighborhood canvas, and no one had heard or seen anything strange before Mrs. Lietzen stumbled upon the crime scene.

  As I said, it is well known that the Burkhart’s are, or should I say were big drinkers. It’s also well known they argued about everything, and when they argued they were not quiet about it. They never came to physical blows but verbally they were the heavyweight champs. Everyone that lived around them learned to ignore them to a certain extent. Listening to those two made them appreciate their relationships and spouses more. ALL of the neighbors agreed that you could tell what level of drunk they were by the intensity of yelling. Sad if you think about it.

  We are going home to have some supper and fill in Marple and Fletcher. I’m a little excited and a little, no a lot nervous.

  Later

  Late Evening

  Dear Mary,

  When we got home we told the ladies we had a lot of information to cover but first we would have to have another conversation about what we were getting ready to embark on. The importance of the confidentiality of everyone involved, the P.D., victims, and suspects. I don’t know about Charlie, but my concentration kept being interrupted by the smell of supper.

  On the menu: warm spinach and artichoke dip served with pita wedges as an appetizer. Lobster tails with melted garlic butter, Caesar salad and wine for the main entree. For dessert Chocolate mousse, with a wonderful dessert wine. It was better than you could get at any restaurant.

  We knew they were better at getting information out of people; they always seemed to be at the right place at the right time. They promised they would work with me, and teach me how to become as good as they are. They’ve somehow made an art of it. But right now they needed to remember they couldn’t say a word to anyone, especially to anyone in the E-Mafia, and we made them swear on their grandchildren again. We couldn’t stress this enough. I’m afraid they are going to be chatting with some of the ladies, maybe have tried a new cocktail and mindlessly mention it. They have assured and reassured us they will not let that happen.

  Then we filled them in on the Burkhart case. They said they would listen around town tomorrow and see what they could find out. So far over the last month the only thing they had heard were rumors. They decided they were going to go to Betty’s and see what gossip was going on there. Maybe someone knew a little bit more about the relationship between Patty, Emily and Bob than they were saying. Charlie and I were going to contact Det. Sgt. Langer and see if we could go out to the Burkhart’s house and see the actual crime scene. Even though it’s been a month, Charlie wanted to see it in person. I also wanted to see if I could find Tweddle. He was one of the last remaining, “Hobos” we have. He and Bob had become pretty good friends over the years. I thought if there was anything unusual going on with Bob, Tweddle would be the guy who would know. The trick is going to be finding him.

  We finished our dessert, said our goodbyes and then went off to bed. We all have a big day planned for tomorrow.

  Talk to you later

  Crime Scene

  Dear Mary,

  We called Det. Sgt. Langer about going out to the crime scene and he said he would meet us out there. It’s still pretty much the way it was that night, with the exception of the skillet of food. They had thrown the food out, and wiped out the inside, but had not washed the skillet.

  Even though the Burkhart’s son was cleared as a suspect, the house was still considered a crime scene since Mr. Burkhart has yet to be found. You know Mary, that’s the funny thing with small towns. No matter how old you get, the people who knew your parents will always think of you as a child. Unfortunately, it isn’t until they have all passed away that you become recognized as an adult. Then before you know it you’re the one recognizing grown adults as someone’s child. It’s a vicious cycle.

  So we loaded up Charlie, broken leg and all, and we were on our way out to the Burkhart’s. Even though it’s on the outskirts of town, it’s by no means out in the country anymore. The Burkhart’s used to own all of the land that this subdivision sits on. I would say there are somewhere between ten to fifteen houses in this little subdivision, and I’m guessing there’s twenty yards in between the houses. The houses vary from big to huge; I would say the Burkhart’s house falls between big and huge, or buge as I like to call it. I’m pretty sure that’s the technical term for it. Of course, all of the homes there come with no less than an acre of land. The Burkhart’s have five acres.

  Detective Sgt. Langer was there as we pulled up. The crime scene tape was still up; I couldn’t help but notice how neat and clean the grounds were. The lawn was manicured; cute little bunnies and garden gnomes were placed ever so carefully throughout the entire yard. It was obvious the neighbors had been pitching in and doing the yard work while the investigation had continued. One of the neighbors would call and let them know when it was time to cut the grass so the P.D. could send out an officer to stand by while they did the work. Since this was still a crime scene, no one could be there alone. The officer would have to make sure that the only thing they took out of the shed was the lawn mower and put it back. In small towns like this it seemed a little funny, because everyone pretty much knows everyone, but it still has to be done. We walked down the sloping driveway. As you got to the end, it opened to the large back yard.

  Mr. Burkhart had a work shed that my father and grandfather would have given their right arms to have. Mary, this thing was custom made. I don’t know why I called it a shed. I really should have called it a barn, but then you would have thought about a farm barn. This is a building that was made to look like a miniature version of the house on the outside, and on the inside it was completely open. It’s where he kept all his, what my mother use to call, “big boy toys.” The tractor he uses to plow the streets in the subdivision. Normally the City would be responsible for clearing the snow off the streets in that subdivision, but Bob didn’t like the way they plowed and didn’t, “Want them coming in here tearing up my roads.” He had a couple of four-wheelers; Det. Sgt. Langer said he used those to drive along the fence line to make sure everything was all right. Although he didn’t own the land anymore, he still liked to make sure people were taking care of it, and none of the homeowners minded. Langer said Burkhart would get out there and drive the fence line all the time. He would be pulling a wagon behind him that had all kinds of supplies in it, in case he found something that needed fixing. Never charged the homeowner, he just loved to keep his land nice. He also loved nature including all the animals, so he put salt licks out for the deer. That’s just the way he is. He wanted to make sure it was taken care of the right way, his way.

  We entered the basement through the french doors. Mary, I felt like I was walking into the pictures I had looked at back at the P.D. Nothing, and I mean nothing looked any different. Charlie told Langer we wanted to look around by ourselves a bit, so he went back outside.

  We went over every inch of that house, looked in every room, at all the corners, for anything we thought could possibly cause that kind of injury. Nothing. Then we went out to the barn, searched everything there. Tools, corners, you name it we looked at it. We came up with the same thing, a big fat nothing.

  We found Langer and talked with him for a bit. He said they had come up with the same thing we had. Whatever had caused the damage to the back of Mrs. Burkhart’s head was nowhere on the gr
ounds. Whomever and whatever has disappeared just like Bob Burkhart.

  Langer said the evening of the Burkhart case they decided to call a neighboring P.D. to have one of the K-9 units come out. They were hoping to get a track on the suspect or suspects and more importantly come up with a track on Bob. Langer said there was only one K-9 unit available that night, and it was a bloodhound. If that unit had been able to get there faster they may have been able to pick up something, but unfortunately at the time of the call they were working a case of their own. It was well over an hour before they got to the scene. The longer it takes a dog to get to the scene the harder it is for the dog to track. Usually after an hour it’s impossible.

  We had gotten everything we needed, and I asked Det. Langer when he thought Brian might come back to the house. He said he really didn’t know. He had heard that he was so distraught over the whole matter, what with his father still missing that he wasn’t going to touch a thing until he found out what had happened to him. I can understand that. I don’t want to sound un-caring, but it’s good for the P.D. and us as well.

  We thanked Langer for everything and told him we would be in touch. We loaded up Charlie and headed back towards home. We’ve re-named happy hour to briefing hour. It makes having hors d’oeuvres, drinking cocktails and talking about the case more legit.

  Talk to you later

  Briefing

  Dear Mary,

  By the time we got back to the house, the ladies had the hors d’oeuvres warming in the oven and since Charlie was on the mend and on crutches now, he was now back in charge of the bar. This made the ladies very happy.

  We went over everything we had found, or should I say didn’t find at the Burkhart’s. They informed us that their day started out by making a batch of miniature raspberry turnovers and taking them to Betty’s. It worked out wonderfully. They had forgotten it was their regular appointment day, so everyone they would have wanted to talk to was there. They have been known to take in goodies from time to time, so it was no shock when they walked in with the treats. They had worked it out so that all the ladies in the E- Mafia had the same appointment day. On this particular, day they thought these little treats would A: not only go superbly with the coffee but B: would also help loosen up the ladies and get them talking. Turns out they were right. They said they didn’t even have to lean the questions towards Patty, Bob and Emily. Everyone was already talking about them when they got there. They said all they had to do was sit back and listen for the most part.

  The ladies of the E-Mafia have a way of dominating a conversation. Everyone at the shop felt just terrible about what happened to poor Emily and Bob. Most of them had already made up their minds that Bob had been kidnapped and taken hostage. No one knew exactly how much the Burkhart’s were worth. Everyone assumed it had to be quite a bit considering how much land they had sold off to make that subdivision, and how much they had been giving to charities. Then someone said maybe Bob had killed Emily and ran away. Making it look like he had disappeared. Mrs. Bartley refused to believe that. She said he would never have hurt a hair on Emily’s head, let alone kill her. Oh, sure they would have screamed at one another from now until doomsday, but kill her? Never. Mrs. Ruby was one of the ones convinced someone had him and was holding him for ransom. Before she could get on one of her tirades, Mrs. Houtz casually brought up the fact that no one had contacted Brian Burkhart asking for any amount of money and it had been over a month since Bob had been missing. She said, “The ladies became very quiet. We were all thinking the same thing, but no one wanted to say it out loud for fear it would make it real.”

  Charlie and I looked at one another. She was right. He hadn’t been taken for money. We aren’t certain he’s been taken at all. There weren’t any signs of a struggle anywhere at the house, inside or out. He could have left of his own free will, but everything he owns is still at the house. Everything. That means he would have had to walk at least three miles through the woods to avoid any attention. But that would only get him so far. He would eventually run into the highway and still have to figure out a way to get out of town without drawing attention to himself. Which in this town would be pretty hard. Everyone knows him and would have stopped to give him a ride had they seen him walking down the highway. The question would be, why would Bob want to just walk away from his life? Looking in from the outside it looks like a pretty great life. So far, it’s as if Bob has just disappeared into thin air.

  Mrs. Edmonds said she had been talking to a couple of women who were very close with Patty. They said she was distraught over the entire situation. She had just made up with the two of them over a silly thing that happened when they were so young. She wished she hadn’t wasted all that time being mad at both of them. Now her sister is dead and Bob is missing. She told the ladies she would give anything just to have another day with the two of them. She only lives two hours away and yet for all those years it may as well have been two countries away.

  Edwardsville Days is coming up in six days, and the town is going to have a special candlelight vigil in honor of Bob and Emily. We had decided to call it a night and the ladies started to take things into the kitchen as I walked Charlie outside. We thought it probably wouldn’t lead to anything but; we are going to do a little background search into Patty. Where had she been all these years and what had she been doing? Was she really that heart broken over Bob that she never looked for love again? I’ve seen pictures of her in her younger years. She was a beautiful woman. I can’t believe men weren’t swarming around her like bees around a hive. Like I said it most likely wouldn’t turn up anything, but we need to look at everybody and everything. It’s been a long day, time for some shuteye.

  Talk to you later

  Just one of those days

  Dear Mary,

  Well, this morning started off to be what I thought was going to be a great day. Remember last night when I was telling you about Edwardsville Days? I never really explained what it was did I? Well sit back, relax and get ready for an ear full. It’s a weekend that’s to celebrate the founding of Edwardsville, which was in 1869. When I was a kid it was in October, but then it started getting chilly, so they moved it September. Sometimes it was hot, sometimes a little on the chilly side, then they moved it to early August, why? Who knows, but boy were they wrong. They kept moving it around trying to find the perfect date that wasn’t too hot or too cold. In Kansas, you’re never going to find it. At one point, they had moved it all the way back to April. Apparently they have moved their way back up the calendar and it’s back to September. You can never tell with this month what the weather will bring.

  The event itself is a lot of fun. In the morning they have a parade, all the usual things. Cute kids on bikes, cute kids being pulled by parents in wagons, of course, you can’t have a parade without the obligatory police, fire and ambulance vehicles. Then you have the Shriners riding in their little cars, mini bikes, and mini model A cars and any other “mini” things that they can drive. Then bringing up the rear, all the beautiful horses from the different horse clubs being ridden by their owners, all dressed in their finest outfits. Everything that goes into a small town parade is there for your enjoyment.

  After that everyone starts to mingle around the craft and food booths. Now I know first hand how well Marple and Fletcher can cook, and everyone in the E-Mafia can cook almost as well as they can. Every one of these ladies, as well as other various groups in town, has a booth. I swear you can gain ten pounds just by sampling something from each booth. All of the food is reasonably priced, and all of the money is donated to two charities the “booth” renters have chosen for that year. I think that is a great idea. Mrs. Edmondson told me that the idea came up the first year they decided to have the festival. She said they had all gotten together and had taken a vote. They all knew there were some people that simply couldn’t afford to give all the money they made from the festival away. So they decided to make the donations anonymous. If you gave fine, if not fine. No
questions asked.

  Now at night they have a street dance. When I was a kid, they used to block off the parking lot to the grocery store and have a live band. I swear everyone in town showed up for the street dance. As things changed, they changed where the street dance and the area where the craft and food booths would be. Once the City Park was completed, they moved the entire festival there.

  They took great care while constructing the park. For instance, they decided since each year Edwardsville Days has a theme, they were going to put the “Street Dance” area closer to the bank of the river. They made sure to leave all the trees so there would be plenty of shade. At the far end they had made a huge blacktopped area to put the stage for the band and more than enough room for dancing. They had gotten those three-globed streetlights and lined both sides of the street with them all the way around the park, plus put a smaller one by each park bench. It looked spectacular at night.

  The booths for food and crafts were strategically placed throughout the park. I thought that was a great idea. I hate it when everything is all grouped into sections. I shouldn’t say riverbank, I should say drop off. Bank makes it sound so much nicer. They did a lovely landscaping job and even put in a sidewalk that goes down to the river. They strung small white lights from light pole to light pole; the light poles followed the sidewalk down to the river as did the string of lights. Now if the river is low there’s a beach. If there’s a beach, the lights were on and the sidewalk is open. People are allowed to walk down and stroll along the beach. No lights, no beach, no walking.

  As I said, each year Edwardsville Days has a different theme. This year they went with the Roaring 20’s. They always encourage people to dress in period costumes and surprisingly most people do. I can’t wait to see all the outfits. Of course for some of them these aren’t costumes. These are actually clothes they had saved from their youth. HA!