Turns Out I Do Know The Muffin Man (A Dear Mary Mystery)

by Stacy Matthews

  Edwardsville Days is the only other thing that Mrs. Houtz and Edmondson get truly excited about. They thought for sure they would get some great information on the case at the street dance. With all the drinks that would be flowing, people would be talking. They asked if I would like to help them with their booth this year. I am excited Mary! I can’t believe it. Two of the best cooks in town want me to work with them! I can’t wait. I could see myself learning how to make all these new dishes, but no. My job was to go out and get everything that was on the list Marple and Fletcher had made. I swear it’s a mile long. The actual day of, I’m going to be taking orders, running the cash register and getting the drinks. So much for learning from the best two cooks in town. It’s alright I’ll try and pay attention as much as I can between getting drinks and taking money. Who are we kidding? I’m never going to learn to cook.

  So I grabbed my shopping list, hopped in my car and headed out to the stores. As I was driving across I-435, I noticed a new little island that had popped up during the drought last summer hadn’t disappeared again with all the rain we’ve been having lately. It looked as though the river had changed its course and went around it, leaving it be. It was maybe a half of a mile long from point to point, so thick with trees and grass you can’t see from one side of the island to the other. I thought to myself how much fun we would have had with that little island. Who am I kidding; our parents never would have let us go out there. Not to mention none of us had a rowboat to get us there, but if one of us had, I can’t imagine how much fun and trouble we would have gotten into. I also noticed that there was a rowboat docked at the tiny island. I thought that was odd. As far as I know most people don’t go out to the islands that pop-up. They stay along the banks and fish from there.

  I didn’t see anyone fishing, just the boat. Who knows, maybe some kids wanted to go exploring. I made it to the store and got everything on my list, good thing I drive a SUV or it would have taken two trips just to get everything home. I did make sure to look for the rowboat on my way home, but it wasn’t there. By the time I got home the ladies had cleaned out the fridge in the garage to make room for all the food. This year the weather has been playing a version of Sally Field’s Sybil. You never know if it’s going to be hot and how hot it’s going to be, or rainy and chilly.

  They had a heck of a time trying to come up with a menu and keeping it within the theme. They decided to have two menus. You heard me right. Two menus, one for hot weather one for cold. The menu for hot weather: “White Gazpacho with Grapes and Toasted Almonds” and “Cucumber Cream Cheese Finger Sandwiches” and “Strawberry, Walnut Salad with Vinaigrette dressing.” For drinks they decided to go with infused waters, three different flavors: first Strawberry, Lemon, and Basil. Second: Watermelon and Mint. Third: Rosemary and Grapefruit. They knew Mrs. Ruby was going to be cleaning up with her Mimosas so they thought they should come up with some drink of their own to try and compete with hers. They came up with Champagne Mango. It’s exactly what it says, Champagne with Mango Puree in it. They didn’t want to call it Champagne Mango because Mrs. Houtz said it didn’t sound exotic enough. So they came up with Champagne-go, pretty catchy if you ask me, and I’m hoping they will need a taste tester.

  The menu in case it’s cold outside: “Thinly sliced Steak sandwiches, topped with Gorgonzola cheese and Sautéed onions,” “Vegetable soup with homemade bread,” “Avocado with baked egg and hollandaise sauce and two slices of crisp bacon laid across the top.” The drinks they went with were mulled cider that they decided to call “Johnny’s Bad Apple Seed.” I thought that was a cute name. They kept some of their infused waters and Champagne-go. Now I’m sure you’re wondering what they are going to do with the food that doesn’t get used? I was thinking the exact same thing. It goes into the “just in case pile.”

  So once I got everything unloaded and into the fridge in the garage, I went into the kitchen and sat down. I was hoping they would be testing out Champagne-go and would need a willing tester, but no such luck. Instead, I was told I have another new job. I was now in charge of contacting the ladies of the E-Mafia and figuring out whose house and what day would be used this year for the cooking for Edwardsville Days. Apparently this is a time-honored tradition. They pick someone’s house each year to go over, cook, and talk about “the good old days” and “try” out all the drinks everyone will be selling. Thank goodness this year they had decided they were going to have it at Marple and Fletcher’s house, so it’s not really going to be such a big to-do on my part. I will probably have to help Mrs. Ruby bring her things over, but that’s really no big deal. I wonder if all the other ladies have two menus as well?

  Since I’m not part of the E-Mafia, I will have to leave. The ladies want to see if any new information has come out about Emily, Bob and Patty.

  Well, I’m exhausted. Who knew going shopping could be so tiring?

  Talk to you later

  Contacting the E-Mafia

  Dear Mary,

  Well, today is the day I call the E-Mafia and see what day is good for them to come over and cook. Seeing as how it’s only five days away, they didn’t have a lot of choices. I had a better idea. I thought they should have a pre-meeting, a briefing of their own if you will. Meaning they should meet tonight and reveal the cocktails, to make sure there aren’t any duplicates. I called Mrs. Bartley and told her my idea. She was ecstatic about it and thought the other ladies would love the idea. She said she would hang up and get right on it. See what I did there? It’s called delegating. I was particularly good at this at my last job and it seems I still have a flare for it.

  Charlie and I had some business on the Burkhart case we had to attend to. If we happened to get done and arrive home at the same time the ladies were having their meeting, there’s really nothing I can do to help that. The only thing I saw was great food and some Mimosas and or Champagne-go’s in my future.

  Now as for the Burkhart case, Charlie and I were running into dead-ins everywhere we went. The only viable suspect had been their son Brian, but with his alibi checking out, so much for that. We even looked into the possibility of him hiring someone to commit the crime. But he doesn’t have the financial means to do it. We went to the Burkhart’s attorney to check the Will, thinking Brian may have promised the hit man money from his inheritance. The attorney was a little tight lipped, but finally told us that Emily and Bob had left everything to Patty. We thought this might be a good enough reason for a trip up to Patty’s to have a little chat with her.

  It only took us an hour and a half to get there. I guess Charlie drives faster than Patty. She lives in a town called Herman, Missouri. It’s smaller than Edwardsville by a couple thousand people. It’s a big German town. They have lots of wineries, bed and breakfast’s to stay at and many festivals to attend. For such a little town, they bring in the tourist and the tourist dollars.

  Her home is lovely, not too small not too big. Well taken care of. The neighborhood is an older one but everyone in this town takes such good care of their homes. In actuality, it’s part of the charm of this little town. The pride everyone takes in making sure the streets are clean, yards are mowed, houses looked well kept and taken care of no matter how old they were. I have to tell you Mary, cities twice this size could learn a lot from this little town.

  We drove by once just to see if she was home, and kind of checked out things. Then we circled back, parked in the driveway, went up and knocked on the door. She was a very attractive older woman. I can see why Bob would have been attracted to both of them. We introduced ourselves and she invited us in. Her home was modest and neat as a pin. We sat on the couch and she offered us some tea.

  Charlie explained why we were there and of course to offer our condolences. We asked how she was feeling; she said today was a good day and, “Was thankful for any good day she has.” Charlie then asked her if the Burkhart’s attorney had been in contact with her. She said a yes a young man named Mr. Gregory had called and said she was going to nee
d to be present at the reading of the will, which was beginning held at the beginning of October. He would call her back with the exact date. She said, “ I can’t believe they left everything to me. We hadn’t talked in over thirty-five years, and to leave nothing for their son. Well, I don’t know what all happened there, and it’s really none of my business, but you would have thought they would have left him a little something.”

  Charlie then asked her how Bob and Emily had been getting along with each other while she was around. If she had noticed if they had been arguing more than usual. She said, “Well, you know I didn’t really know how their relationship was to begin with. We had just started to reconnect. I have to admit I was a little taken aback at how much they argued with one another. But the more time I spent with them, I realized, and this is going to sound crazy, that was the way they communicated with one another. Some couples are sweet and cuddly, some are distant and don’t talk. My sister and Bob screamed and argued. I can’t say I liked it, or was comfortable when it was going on, but it seemed to work for them. I can tell you one thing. Once that argument was over, it was over. I never heard the subject brought up again. Emily told me that was how they dealt with all of their problems. They got them out in the open, yelled about them, and then they were done and over with.”

  Then I had to ask the question I was dreading. I had to ask if she thought Bob could have gotten so upset that he lost control for a split second, and hit Emily, accidently killing her. Without hesitation she said, “Oh heavens no! I have no problems telling you they were both heavy drinkers, both yellers and I know from first-hand knowledge they had arguments all the time. But I don’t believe either one of them would ever have hurt a hair on the others head.”

  I got the task of digging into her past. You know, finding out if she ever got married, had any kids. She married a man named Rick Stewart. They had met while they were in college. She said after she and Bob had broken up she never thought she would find true love again. She thought Bob would be the man she would spend the rest of her life with. After a couple of years, she met Rick in an Art class they had together. They started out as just friends. After a semester, she realized she was falling in love him. She was completely surprised by this. She said she had told him everything that happened with Bob and Emily, and thinks that’s one of the reasons Rick took things so slow. Gave her time to really know him and realize that he wasn’t going anywhere. After they had been together awhile, he told her he knew she was the one for him the minute he saw her. He was a very handsome man, six four, brown wavy hair, muscular build; she was very attracted to him but knew deep down in her heart the only man she would truly love was Bob. She didn’t want me to get the wrong impression. She said she and Rick’s marriage was wonderful in it’s own way. They had a lot of great times she wouldn’t trade for the world, but in the back of her mind she never really forgot Bob. They weren’t able to have children. Rick died ten years ago of a heart attack. She said she misses him every day. He ended up being the best friend and husband she could have hoped for. Yet she still wondered what her life would have been like had she and Bob been able to follow through with the plans they had made together. She feels guilty having those thoughts, seeing what a wonderful life Rick had made for the both of them. I felt so sorry for her I didn’t know what to say. To me it sounded like she had dodged a bullet with Bob. But who knows, maybe he wouldn’t have been a big drunk if he and Patty had gotten together. I’m sure that was one of the thoughts running around in her head. She was right about one thing, judging from the house, Rick had made a nice life for the two of them. From what I understood she didn’t have to work if she didn’t want to. They weren’t wealthy by any means, but he made enough that she could be a housewife if she wanted. Now that he’s gone she has plenty of time to think. About everything.

  We thanked her for the tea and made our way back home. We both agreed that if she’s involved in this, either she is a very good actress or we really need to sharpen our detecting skills. So the son has an alibi, the twin sister has just come back into their lives after 30yrs and is dying of cancer. They have no known enemies, as far as we can tell they are just two people that like to drink a lot and yell at one another. Yet someone bashed in the back of Emily’s head and took Bob, not leaving a trace as to how they took him. All of his belongings are still at the house, and I do mean everything. Not even a change of underwear was taken. I tell you Mary, this is one for the books. We’re missing something, but what? A couple of the neighbors saw him acknowledge Emily when she called him for supper. Now how could a grown man completely disappear without a trace between that time and the time Mrs. Lietzen found Emily?

  We both agreed we needed a good nights sleep and tomorrow we would gather everything we have on the case so far and go over it again. Something isn’t adding up. We just need to slow down a little and re-look at everything we have so far with a fine-toothed comb.

  We were both pretty beat by the time we got home. Neither one of us could believe our eyes. This definitely had Mrs. Ruby written all over it. There they were, all sitting in their evening cocktail gowns, because it was of course cocktail hour. I think they are starting to get into the Roaring 20’s theme already. Two of them had on those headbands with the feathers in them that the flappers used to wear. The other two were wearing the extra long string of pearls that you could make look like several strands. Not to mention they had each made a little something to eat. Of course it wasn’t anything they would be making for Edwardsville Days. It was too funny. They each got a plate, put a small slice of what they had brought to eat on it and then, you guessed it, poured their drinks in what looked like sample sized glasses, and sat it down in front of Charlie and I. We had four plates and drinks in front of us, with all four of them staring and waiting for us to dig in. Of course, we were expected to eat and drink all four of them. Thankfully we hadn’t eaten anything and it hadn’t been that great of a day so four tiny cocktails equaled two regular sized cocktails. Mrs. Houtz and Edmonds knew we wouldn’t be able to brief them on the news we had learned today until the other ladies left. I’ve never seen people kicked out, not knowing they were really being kicked out, so fast in my life. These two are smooth. I so want to be them when I grow up.

  We let the ladies go first with their information so we could eat, drink and be merry. Turns out Mrs. Edmonds heard there’s a rumor going around that Bob and Patty were dating again. She said she tried to get some verification on this, but couldn’t find a soul who had either seen them together or even heard anyone talking about them having a date. She said she wasn’t giving it too much credit until she had something more concrete to go on. She said they were obviously going to have to go out of E-Mafia territory on this one, because if they were dating again they wouldn’t be stupid enough to go on a date in this town. That is a valid point. As she so eloquently put it, “Even if he had just taken Patty to the drugstore to pick something up for Emily, tongues would have been wagging and Emily’s phone would have been ringing off the hook long before those two crossed the threshold of that drugstore.” and you know she’s right.

  If it hadn’t been for Edwardsville Days coming up what she said about having to go out of the E-Mafia territory would have worried me. I think they are much too busy to go outside their own boundaries on this case. Thank goodness, that will be one less thing Charlie and I have to worry about. No, we are definitely missing something.

  I think I was on my third appetizer, when it was our turn to tell what information we had learned today. They found all of our information very interesting and would continue to keep their ears and eyes open.

  You know Mary, sometimes these two are hard to figure out. With all the information you give them I’m never quite sure what is going to really grab their attention. The thing they were most excited about was the fact that Patty lived in Herman. They had always heard about the festivals they have, but now they think maybe the E-Mafia could Amtrak it over for one of them. They might even
stay at one of the Bed and Breakfast’s they had heard some of the other ladies at Betty’s talking about and just make a weekend of it. One of Herman’s biggest festivals is Octoberfest. Before we knew it, the two of them were walking off making what sounded like plans for an E-Mafia outing. I’m going to say it again, Mrs. Ruby and her “Refreshments” are starting to have a bad influence on the whole group.

  Later

  Morning

  Dear Mary,

  I told you so. I really didn’t realize how tired I was until my head hit that pillow. I was out like a light. I looked at my clock and saw that it was 9:30am; I called Charlie to see if he was up. He said he had just gotten up and hadn’t even had his coffee yet. I heard the ladies puttering about and told him if he wanted, he could come over and I was sure they would be more than happy to make us breakfast.

  I made my way out to the kitchen and they said in unison “Good morning.” Mrs. Houtz added, “No worm for this little birdie today.” Afraid not. I told them Charlie was on his way over and this threw them into overdrive. They started the coffee and got out the skillets. No longer than it took Charlie to get to the house they had eggs, bacon and toast almost ready by the time he sat down. For the most part, we sat in silence and just enjoyed our breakfast. I know it’s hard to believe, but not a word was spoken. Every now and then I did sneak a look at the ladies, and they were sort of staring at us as if they were just laying in wait. Charlie made a rookie mistake. He had taken the last bite off his plate, then a sip of his coffee, then a satisfying “hmmm” sound. The ladies took this to mean he was finished with his meal and was ready to start going over the case. As they were about to pounce, I interjected. I started cleaning the table and of course they started to help me. Once we were in the kitchen, I let them know this was his way of complimenting them on the wonderful breakfast he had finished. All be it not a wordy compliment, it was better than any five-star review they could get from a critic anywhere. I had to explain to them that we were going to be reviewing the case and by “we” I meant Charlie and I. They weren’t too happy with that but they understood. I was surprised they took it as well as they did, and happy I didn’t have to go into a long drawn out explanation.