Torn

by A. M. Wallace

  I watched her move around the kitchen and smirked. The way she looked in my clothes did nothing to help my erection. I knew she was wearing my boxers underneath the shirt, but the way it hung on her, you’d never guess she was wearing anything but that shirt. And she had absolutely no idea the effect she was having on me. I reached down, trying to be discreet as I adjusted myself before she made her way over to the table.

  Amy had made bacon and eggs and had two glasses of orange juice on the table already. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten at the table. She turned around to face me and looked nervous. I wasn't sure why, exactly. She hadn't done anything wrong. Not even close. Unless you count causing a major case of blue balls over here.

  Damn, had it really been that long for me? Yes. Yes it had. I was screwed. And not in the literal sense, dammit.

  “Smells good,” I told her as she sat down next to me at that table. “Thank you.”

  “It was the least I could do after last night.” She took a drink of her orange juice and I reached over the table for her hand.

  “I had a great time last night. There is nothing you have to do to thank me or make up for or anything. Okay?” She nodded and I squeezed her hand before letting it go so I could eat. “Although, you may have to do my laundry now. Since you're wearing my clothes.” I kept my face serious as I took a bite of my eggs.

  “Okay.” She grinned and started eating, like it was no big deal she just agreed to do my laundry. I knew she was kidding, but I still looked up from my plate as she said it.

  “That was a mistake.” I picked up a piece of bacon to eat as I looked at her and she raised her brow. “You do know what I do for a living, right? Lots of sweaty and smelly clothes. The pile has gotten so big, I just go buy new stuff now.”

  “Yeah, I'm sure you do.” She tried not to laugh as she finished her eggs and started on her bacon.

  I just grinned at her as I finished eating and leaned back in my seat to drink my orange juice. I watched her munch on her bacon, grinning at me as she ate.

  “What?” she asked and I just smiled and shook my head.

  Everything about this moment seemed so real, so domestic. I liked the way Amy looked sitting at my table for breakfast. I liked the way she looked in my clothes after spending the night. I never realized how much I wanted these things in my life until they were right in front of me. Even though I couldn't be sure Amy was the one I'd spend the rest of my life with yet, I knew I wanted her right now. After just one date, without anything physical to cloud our judgment, I wanted to see where this would go with her. And I wasn't about to rush it.

  “Do you have plans for today?” I asked Amy on a whim just as she drank the last of her orange juice.

  “I don't think so.” She stood and started to gather our plates. When she was standing right next to me, I gently grabbed her wrist to stop her.

  “Spend the day with me.” She looked down at me and bit her lip with uncertainty, so I quickly added, “If you want to.” I didn't want to make her feel awkward. She thought about it for a minute before she said anything. I was getting nervous.

  “Don't you think you'll get sick of me?” she asked innocently, and I laughed. She nudged my shoulder, but she was grinning now too. “I'm being serious.”

  “No, I don't think I'll get sick of you.” I stood and looked into Amy's eyes, bringing my hand up to gently cup her cheek. “You can say no, you know.” She grabbed my hand in both of hers and turned her face to kiss my palm. I couldn't explain why, but it was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen or felt.

  “I'm not saying no.” She stood on her toes and kissed me gently and I instantly wrapped my arms around her waist, trying to keep my distance so my cock didn’t scare her away, but it was hard, literally. “What are we going to do today?” she whispered against my lips.

  “Whatever you want.” I kissed her again before she pulled away.

  “I don't have anything to wear.”

  “Well…” I smirked and looked down at my clothes on her body and she playfully smacked my chest.

  “I'm not wearing your clothes all day.”

  “Okay, so take them off. I'm not picky.” I laughed and backed away before she could smack me again.

  “Ha ha ha.” She narrowed her eyes playfully, then gave me a once over. I raised my brow at her and she smirked. I still had a hard on and she definitely noticed.

  “Come on.” I took her hand and led her down the hallway to the room across from mine, hoping to redirect her attention. “I'm sure Hannah has some things in here.” I let go of Amy's hand and went over to open the closet, seeing a couple of outfits in there. “Here we go.” I turned to look back at Amy and was met with her furrowed brows.

  “Hannah keeps her things here?”

  I shrugged. I couldn’t really gauge her reaction. I guess it would be weird to find out another girl's things were at the house of the guy you just started seeing, even if that girl was the best friend.

  “Yeah, from a while back, I'd guess.” She nodded and I felt about two inches tall. She looked down and I knew I’d just made this awkward. “Amy…”

  “It's fine. Honest.” She forced a smile and went to the closet behind me, pulling out an outfit. I walked up behind her, not quite touching her, but close.

  “Amy.” She sighed and turned to face me, finding me just an inch away. All the anger and annoyance was gone.

  “It really is fine, Mark.” Not Marcus. “I know she's your best friend. It was just…”

  “Weird?” I finished her thought and she nodded. “I know.” I chuckled nervously. “Can I be honest?” She nodded again and I sighed. “I've never had to worry about this before.” I brought my hand up to rub the back of my neck. “I don't bring girls to my house all the time, Amy.”

  “You don't have to explain, Mark.” She smiled and kissed me softly. “We don't even know what this is yet. Let's just take it one day at a time.” I smiled back and nodded.

  “One day at a time sounds like a plan.” She kissed me again and then started pushing me out of the room.

  “Okay, now leave so I can get dressed.” I laughed and put my hands up on the doorframe to stop her from being able to push anymore.

  “Hey, I could help.” I let go and she laughed and shut the door.

  I walked over to my room and started getting dressed myself. I grabbed a t-shirt and some jeans out of my closet and put them on. I went to the bathroom to quickly wash my face and brush my teeth, hoping to make myself somewhat presentable. When I walked back into my room, I got a pair of socks out of my dresser and put them on and was just getting my tennis shoes on when Amy walked in. She was dressed in Hannah's yellow baby tee and a pair of her jean shorts, which looked a lot shorter on Amy since she was taller than Hannah. Amy really did have amazing legs.

  “You look nice.” She laughed and looked down at herself.

  “Yeah, well, I had to put the first outfit I grabbed back in the closet. Her pants were too short on me.”

  “Yeah, you're a little taller than she is.” I finished tying my shoe laces and stood up. “I think it's supposed to be warm today, so shorts should be fine.”

  She walked out of my room and I followed her down the hallway, watching her ass as she walked. I sent a silent thanks to Hannah for leaving those shorts here. We walked into the kitchen and Amy went to gather our dishes from breakfast to bring to the sink.

  “You don't have to do that.”

  “I know, but I want to clean up after myself.” I was about to respond when the doorbell rang and I looked back at the door, a little in surprise. I looked back at Amy and pointed to the dishes.

  “Leave those. I'll get them later.” She narrowed her eyes at me and I grinned, turning to go answer the door.

  I opened the door to see Chad standing there, looking flustered. I opened my mouth to ask what was going on, but he walked right past me into the house.

  “I can't do this. I don't belong in a gym, man.” It was only then, as I
followed him in the house, that I realized he was in workout attire. I laughed lightly. I was getting ready to warn him that Amy was here, but he kept going. “Devon didn't even notice I was there. Oh…hi.”

  “Hey, Chad.” Amy said from the sink, doing my damn dishes. I'd get her back for that.

  “Sorry, I didn't know you had company,” Chad said as he looked back at me, asking me what was going on with just that one look. I shook my head, knowing he'd take it as I'd tell him later.

  “Oh, did you two have plans?” Amy said as she wiped her hands off with a towel, apparently done with the dishes. “I can go home; it's not a big deal.”

  “No, it's fine,” I said quickly, really not wanting Amy to leave, but I couldn't very well tell Chad to leave, though. I was sure if he thought I wanted alone time with Amy, he would leave without question.

  I didn't see why we all couldn't hang out. Amy and I had already said we would just take things as they went, so why not see how things went with Chad, too? I mean, he was my best friend, besides Hannah, and if he and Amy could really get along, that would be a major bonus. I wanted Chad to like Amy. He already knew how much I was starting to like her.

  “Why don't we all do something?” I asked them both but looked at Amy to gauge her reaction first. She was the one I was afraid of offending. If she wanted it to just be the two of us, I just came off like I didn't want that, and that would be bad.

  “Yeah. We could go bowling or something?” Amy suggested and we both looked at Chad, who still looked a little uncertain. He wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to intrude or not. He was probably thinking we were just being nice because he was here, but I nodded subtly to reassure him that wasn't the case.

  “I'm game,” Chad said. I laughed and walked over to Amy, putting my arm around her waist to pull her close, hoping she knew I didn't invite Chad along to get out of hanging out with her.

  “Good. Amy, Chad is having girl troubles. Maybe you could shed some light on his situation.” She put her arm around my waist in return and grinned at Chad.

  “I can try.”

  I grabbed my wallet and keys off the counter and we all started to walk toward the garage, while Chad started telling Amy about his dilemma with Devon. It was nice to watch them. They got along while we were working, but that could have been played off as Amy being polite for her job. Seeing them getting along so well now, though, was different. It was so easy to see this as my life. I wanted to be with someone who my friends liked and vice versa. I just hoped Hannah and Amy would hit it off this well too.

  Speaking of Hannah, I wanted to send her a text, letting her know that I had something to tell her. I was a little surprised when she texted me back moments later, promising me we’d talk tomorrow. It was a little unlike her, but I didn’t want to question it too much. She had been busy with school this past week; I shouldn’t be worried something was wrong just because we hadn’t seen each other all week.

  For now, I wanted my attention on Amy and, well, Chad. They’d get along well, I was sure of it. Today was just the start.

  driving down the road, i had the music up pretty loud, still in an amazing mood from my trip to the Renaissance Festival yesterday with Justin. We hadn’t been back very long, but I had Justin drop me off at my apartment, and then he went home. As much as I wanted him to stay, I figured it was good to spend a day or two apart. Our relationship was still new and I didn’t want us getting sick of each other.

  I texted Marcus after getting my stuff inside and cleaned up a bit, asking if I could come over. He, of course, said yes, but I didn’t rush. I went ahead and threw my dirty clothes in the washer before hopping in the shower. I wanted to think about what I was going to say to him.

  I don’t think we’d ever gone this long without seeing each other, and the short texts here and there didn’t really feel like a conversation, so we hadn’t spoken all week either, really. I missed him, I couldn’t lie about that, but I was still really nervous about going to see him.

  Things felt different. I felt different. I couldn’t help but think he must feel different too, or he would have tried harder to see me this week, right? I couldn’t blame this on him. Knowing Marcus, he was worried about me all week, but gave me my space. He had no idea what this was about, and at this moment, I kind of wished Erica would have told him already so I wouldn’t be throwing it all in his face at once.

  As worried as I was about seeing Marcus, I couldn’t stop thinking about Justin. That had to be a good sign, right? A sign that I was overreacting about thinking my feelings for Marcus would overcome my feelings for Justin? It had to be.

  Yesterday and last night were just…amazing. Spectacular. Wonderful. And every other word with the same meaning. Justin was a perfect gentleman, well, until we were in the hotel room. Then the gloves came off. I blushed just thinking about it.

  Justin had a bit of a dominant streak in the bedroom. That was something I’d never experienced before. I like it, though. A lot. It made me feel desired in a way I’ve never felt.

  It was seriously the perfect date. He’d taken me to the festival, where I’d always wanted to go, but hadn’t. He wouldn’t let me pay for anything, not even to pitch in for the hotel. He even let me drag him to the dress up photo booth, where we dressed like renaissance people and posed for pictures. I didn’t know any guys who would do that for me, including Marcus.

  The sweetest thing he’d done all night for me, though, was when he arranged to be one of the knights in the jousting tournament. He told me he was going to the restroom while we were watching, and the next thing I knew, he rode up to me on horseback with a red carnation, in full uniform minus the helmet. I was shocked.

  “What are you doing?” I asked in surprise, taking the carnation and smiling like a fool.

  “Trying to woo the fair maiden,” he said before guiding the horse back to where the competitors started.

  He got off the horse and handed the reins to another knight who mounted it and got into position. As sweet as his actions were, I was really relieved to know he wasn’t really going to joust, even if it was all staged. About twenty minutes later, Justin was seated next to me again.

  “How did you do that?” I asked as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

  “Do what?” He looked forward, acting as though he honestly has no idea what I was talking about.

  “You know what.” I grinned and nudged him with my shoulder.

  “I told you,” he looked at me with a sly smile, “I always plan ahead.”

  I was amazed. I couldn’t think of a time where anyone had done something like that for me before. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t falling for Justin Schuster, and falling hard.

  I parked at the curb in front of Marcus’ house, shutting off the car and just sitting there for a moment. This was it. I wasn’t as scared now as I had been about what could happen. I was with Justin now. I will always love Marcus, but that love was going to have to change.

  I got out of the car and took a deep breath before walking up to his front door. I almost knocked on the door, but that would have been extremely strange for us, and I didn’t want to make this anymore awkward than it had to be. So, I just opened the door and walked in.

  “Marcus?” I called out as I walked into the kitchen, looking around for him.

  “Coming.” I heard him call back from his room. I almost walked back to see what he was doing, but stopped myself. Instead, I went to get a water out of the refrigerator just for something to do.

  “Hey, stranger,” Marcus said from behind me and I jumped, dropping my water as I turned around.

  “Geez, you could warn a girl.” He laughed, and before I could say anything else, he was hugging me. At first I didn’t know what to do, but then I thought about how stupid that was. How many times had I hugged Marcus? A lot more intimately than this, too. It was silly for me to let this be uncomfortable now.

  I brought my arms around his waist and buried my head into his chest, breathing hi
m in. My God, I missed him. He smelled so good. He always smelled good. I didn’t realize how obviously I was sniffing him until his arms loosened and he chuckled lightly.

  “I missed you, too, Han.”

  I pulled back and smiled up at him, letting myself get a really good look at him. Not that I needed it. I practically had every feature memorized. Like the small scar at his hairline above his right eye from where he got hit in the head with a rock—by me—when we were kids. And the fact that his eyes changed a bit depending on what he was wearing. Today, they had a green tint to them right around his pupil because of the green t-shirt he was wearing.

  Yes, they were still there. Those feelings I was so afraid would come back full force did. The only difference now was, I didn’t automatically feel the need to act on them. Justin was still there in the back of my mind, and to me, that was progress. I think my feelings for Marcus would always be there. How could you ever stop feeling something this strong about your first love, even if it was unrequited?

  “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, lately.” I didn’t feel like elaborating now. We would get to that.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ve been pretty busy too, actually.” He leaned back against the bar behind him and crossed his arms over his chest in a casual stance.

  He’d been busy? That was news to me. Not that he didn’t have things to do, but he was always at work and then with me and/or Chad. I guess he could have been really busy at the gym. People wanting to get into shape before the holidays, and all that jazz.

  “Oh, yeah? Well that makes me feel a little better about not being around then.” I grinned and then bent to retrieve my water that I’d dropped. “So, how’s work?”

  “Pretty much the same as always, I guess.” He shrugged and then reached for the water in my hands after I’d been struggling with the lid. I handed it over and he opened it for me before handing it back. “How’s all your school stuff coming along?”