Need You, Need Me (The Need Series Book 1)

by Lewis, Meghan

  I twist the cap off and take a long gulp from the bottle. I let the door close with my back still to them in the living room. I toss the cap into the trash and lean against the island without glancing over my shoulder. I take a couple breaths with some deep drinks from the bottle, and then make my way out to the hallway. I want to go back upstairs, and I almost do when I hear Kevin call my name.

  So I turn left and head to the conversation pit. Kevin has pulled one of the chairs out from under the table and is sitting with his right ankle hitched up on his left knee, and his arms are crossed in front across his chest. When I walk in, he loosens up a little, but not much. Looking at his face, I see something.

  Oh, he’s angry.

  This is the moment of truth. I turn to look at Amber. I almost drop the bottle that’s in my hand when I see Paul sitting next to her on the couch, his arm protectively around her shoulder.

  I laugh. “This isn’t really happening.”

  “May,” Paul says.

  I stop laughing.

  “Paul,” I say as my eyes lock with his in a snap.

  I can’t stand to share space with these two, so I walk over and stand next to Kevin. He takes the bottle out of my hand after a couple of gentle tugs. To my surprise, he takes a long gulp himself, but he doesn’t hand it back to me. When I was upstairs, I smoothed my hair over my cheek to try to cover the bruise up as much as I could without blinding myself. Time for the big reveal. I pull my hair back behind me with both hands and put it up in a messy pile on the back of my head. I don’t care. I feel Kevin’s hand grab on to the hem of the shirt as he tries to hold it down, so it doesn’t ride up.

  When I look back at the two of them, Amber’s mouth falls open, and Paul is on his feet. At this motion, Kevin gets to his feet as well, silently daring Paul to do something. But Paul isn’t looking at him. His eyes are fixed on me, and what he let happen.

  It’s not as swollen as it was last night. That much I can feel, but I know it is now dark purple and black, much like the one around my wrist.

  I see Paul struggling with what to do, so I step closer to Kevin’s side.

  I look to Amber who has Paul’s hand and is trying to pull him back down to her side.

  “Talk,” is all I say to her.

  She stops pulling on his hand and looks down at the floor.

  “I’ve been in love with Kevin for a couple of years now. Nothing has happened between us though; he always has kept it platonic.”

  I look at Kevin, and he is now looking at me with a relieved expression on his face and a bit of I-told-you-so.

  Raising one eyebrow, I ask, “What about the teeny boppers?”

  That swipes the look off of his face.

  “When he told me about you and your weekend together, needless to say, it ripped apart my insides, and he was so happy. He kept going on and on about how he had finally found the one for him and was going to do anything to be with you. So when we were all out with friends one night, he announced that he was going to move to be with you. I didn’t know you, May, but I sure as hell didn’t like you. So when he went to play pool and left his phone on the table, I took it outside and called you. I’m sure you remember the things that I said. When I hung up with you, I went into his phone and deleted everything about you: numbers, calls, texts, pictures, emails . . . everything. It was like you didn’t exist to him. I even went into his email and deleted you from his address book, so he couldn’t email you and get your number again. When I went back inside, he was still shooting pool, so I put the phone on the table where I had found it and made up some excuse to head home. Knowing he couldn‘t get in contact with you, short of him trying to remember where you live and driving there, I knew I got rid of you.”

  “Well, isn’t that just fucking special,” I say.

  “May,” Paul says again.

  “Don’t ‘May’ me, Paul . . . I’m not finished with her yet,” I spit at him without taking my eyes off Amber, who's now crying.

  “The tears don’t work on me, Amber, so turn that tap off.” I am seriously not to be fucked with at this moment.

  At that, she stops crying immediately and wipes her face like her bluff was just called. Paul looks at her in disbelief.

  “Oh, so you fell for the fake tears, huh?” I ask him. ”I guess she found out that if there is one thing that you can’t stand it’s a woman crying,” I say, looking at him like he’s a complete fucking idiot.

  “Go on.” I tell Amber, looking bored with her already, and I am.

  “I had recognized you when you first came into McCall’s, and I thought you were here for Kevin. When you walked into the employee meeting, I was shocked. You had no idea Kevin lived here. When I saw how much tension there was between you and Paul, I knew that you were together. I saw an opportunity to hurt you, to hurt you so you could feel what I felt when Kevin was pulled away from me.”

  “You are out of your fucking mind. You do know that, right?” I say laughing.

  “May.” Paul is still trying to talk to me.

  “Shut UP, PAUL!” I yell. “I said I’ll deal with you when I’m done with her.”

  “When you are in love, you do whatever you think to do to get who and what you want,” she says, pulling herself up with Paul’s hand and settling against him with her arms around his waist.

  Paul then puts his arm back around her shoulders, and I see him pull her closer.

  I shouldn’t feel like this. I shouldn’t feel all this confusion. If she hadn’t made that call and interfered with me and Kevin, I wouldn’t even be in this situation. I’m sure she is loving this.

  “We lost months,” I whisper to Kevin, turning my face into my shoulder to look at him.

  “I know, darlin’ . . . at least it wasn’t years. And you are here now, so think of it as a second chance.” He’s trying. I’ll give him that.

  “May, please?” Paul asks.

  “What, Paul? All the shit about how you have never been in love and how you have never been loved back before . . . What a fucking joke,” I say, pulling away from Kevin a little bit but not all the way.

  “Amber told me everything the night you left. I was floored. I tried to call you, get a hold of you, and let you know everything before you left, so you could make a decision with all the facts. I knew how you felt about Kevin. I saw what that shit did to you . . . I just wanted a chance.” He’s trying too.

  “That explains nothing, Paul. You brought Amber back to our hotel room days before all that shit at McCall’s went on . . . How could you do that to me?” I ask. The tears running down my cheeks are genuinely real.

  “I don’t know . . . I fucked up. I’m sorry.” Now he looks ashamed. Good. I can’t process everything because it’s coming at me way too fast.

  “Is that all? Because I can’t take any more of this shit.” I don’t give anyone a chance to say anything. I walk out of the room and head back upstairs.

  A few minutes later, I hear the front door shut and a car drive off. A minute or so after that, I hear Kevin come into the bedroom.

  “May?” He is looking for me and doesn’t know where I am. I hear him in the bathroom, still looking for me. When he comes out of the bathroom, I know he sees me now. I am standing outside on the patio.

  He opens the doors and comes out to join me. He doesn’t touch me, and I don’t know if it’s out of fear or out of giving me space, so he just stands there a couple of inches from me. I let him know that it’s okay between us by stepping back against him and resting my head back on his shoulder. With that motion, he knows it’s okay to put his arms around me, and he does. He tightens around me and puts his chin in the slope of my neck.

  “I know you aren’t, but are you okay?” he asks.

  “Fuck if I know. That was just a lot to take in. I’m not sure it has fully sunk in yet to be honest. I lost months with the man I love, and then I turn around and lose the one person who has been my constant to the same damn woman. You can see how this would throw me, I’m su
re,” I say, closing my eyes and focusing on Kevin’s heartbeat and his smell.

  “What can I do?” Kevin asks.

  I wiggle a little to loosen his hold on me, and I turn around, so we are facing each other. I put my arms around his neck and lean up to his lips.

  “Show me love.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  I wake up to one the best feelings in the world.

  I am in Kevin’s bed with his arm draped around my hip, and his hand grazing my skin on my stomach. It kind of tickles a little. I was right. The bed is Heaven. I turn my head to look out of the patio doors. It’s very early morning, and the sun hasn’t come up yet, but it’s trying.

  I look back to Kevin who is sound asleep. His facial features are completely relaxed, and his mouth is open slightly. He is so handsome. I shift on to my left side, so I can lay and watch him sleep. He’s done it to me, so I consider this pay back.

  I put my hand on his cheek and slowly run it down his face. I trace his eyebrows, lips, and jaw line with the tip of my finger, hoping to tickle him awake. Then I remember he isn’t ticklish. I pout a little. How can I wake him up in a cute way?

  I sit up and scoot my body closer to his. I turn his head slightly up, so I can see his whole face and press my lips firmly against his. Immediately after I do, his arms are around my back, and he is squeezing me to him in turn increasing the kiss. I run my tongue along his lips, and he opens his mouth at the request. A “mmm” comes from his throat. I know he is awake now. He pulls our bodies apart and smiles.

  “I was having the best dream, but now that you have woken me up . . .”

  I bummed him out; that sucks.

  “I realize that my dream was very much real . . . You are here in my bed with me.”

  “Nice.” I smile at him.

  “Do you think we might actually get out of the house today?” he asks.

  “I don’t know. Do you want to because I am good with anything,” I say.

  “Anything? . . . okay!”

  He throws the covers off of him, and he heads into the bathroom and shuts the door.

  I say anything, and he runs to the bathroom. That’s different.

  And then I hear the water running. I guess he is taking a shower and getting ready for the day.

  Okay.

  I pull on one of his t-shirts and his gym shorts and go downstairs. It’s only when I walk into the spare room do I remember where all my stuff is. Shit.

  So I put my flip flops on and head out of the front door.

  I walk down the dirt driveway and take a look around. Man it sure is nice out here. This view is far better than the hotel’s. Then again, maybe it is just the company.

  After a few minutes, I reach my rental and see that the keys are still in the ignition. How unreal that it is still here? There must not be that much traffic around here if someone didn’t notice my rental, let alone show interest in my car.

  So I get in, turn the car on, and swing it around and head back up to the house. When the house comes into view, I see Kevin standing in the front doorway. His arms are up, his hands are laced into each other, and they are sitting on the top of his head. What’s wrong now?

  “What the FUCK, May!” he yells, actually yells at me.

  “What is the matter? You went to take a shower, and I went to get my stuff, and . . . shit‘! Did you think I was leaving?” I ask shocked.

  He doesn’t say anything. He lets out a loud exhale, drops his arms, and comes down the porch steps.

  He makes his way over to me where I am standing behind my car and getting my bags out of the trunk. I close the lid and start to pick my stuff up when Kevin swats my hand away and picks them up instead. He starts back towards the house, stops, and walks back to me. He lets out an exaggerated breath, kisses me on the cheek, and then goes back into the house. I just stand there laughing to myself. I grab my purse out of the front seat and head back into the house.

  I walk into the spare room and see that my stuff isn’t there. I look up at the ceiling, and I hear Kevin rooting around up there. Shaking my head, I head upstairs and see a nervous Kevin.

  “Seriously, are you okay?” I ask.

  “May, goddamn, I thought you left again. I came out of the bathroom after I started the bath FOR US . . .” he stops and lets that sink in before he continues, “and you were gone. I went through the whole house calling your name and got nothing. It freaked me out.”

  “Kev, I have never hurt you. Why would I start now?” I ask, completely confused.

  “I thought you were trying to hurt me like I hurt you a few months ago,” he says very quietly.

  “But that wasn’t your fault. You had to come home; I didn‘t think that you were going to stay forever.” I am starting to become a little concerned.

  “I know, but I’m just blown away by how much I’m in love with you, and when I saw you weren’t here, I just freaked. I’m sorry. I can’t fucking lose you again, May. Fuck, I just can’t.” He is working himself up.

  I walk over to him carefully and put my arms around his neck. I push my body to become flush with his.

  “Do you feel me?” I say, trying to look into his eyes, but he is avoiding mine.

  “Look at me Kevin . . . Look at me, please.” Now I’m begging. Jeez.

  He slowly lifts his head, so I can look him in the eye

  “Do you feel me . . . right here against you?” I continue, silently sending up a prayer.

  “Yes,” he says with a growl and a grind of his hips.

  “I’m right here. I'm not leaving yet. Let’s just enjoy the time we have, please?” I say, lightly grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bathroom.

  He pulls on my hand when he doesn’t move.

  “May, I love you. I know I do. I can’t lose you again . . . so why do you keep saying, ‘Let’s enjoy the time we have?’ I’ve never felt this way, ever, and you make it seem like we are on some kind of summer love vacation.” He isn’t looking at me again. I know the wheels are really turning in his head now.

  After I don’t say anything, he drops to his knees and pulls me down with him.

  “I’ve lost really great time with you. Do you honestly think I am going to let you leave in five days?”

  I don’t know this color that his eyes have now turned, but I know when to keep quiet, and that’s exactly what I do.

  “I need you,” he whispers.

  I stand up from our kneeling position and tug on his hand to follow my lead. He does, thankfully, and I lead him by the hand into the bathroom. I push him against the vanity, so he doesn’t do anything or go anywhere. I sit on the side of the tub and run my hand through the water. It actually still feels really good, and I’ve noticed that he has lit all the candles that line the back wall of the tub.

  So that’s what he was doing in here. Talk about a duh moment.

  I stand up, walk over to him, and place my hand on his shirt. I pull the hem of his shirt up and over his head and down his arms. Next, I pull his shorts and boxers down his legs. I don’t take my eyes of his the whole time. I need him to know that I am right there with him. I need him to know how much he still means to me, even after all this time.

  When his shorts are off, I stand in front of him.

  “Will you undress me, please?” I don’t even have to ask because his hands are already at the waistband of the shorts I put on. He doesn’t look anywhere else but my eyes as he undresses me, piece by piece. When I am completely naked, he pushes his body towards mine, but I shrink back towards the tub, so he doesn’t come into contact with me.

  He lets out a soft grunt to convey how annoyed he is not touching me, and I smile at it.

  I step into the bath and close my eyes. After a bit, I’m refreshed from the faucet; it feels magical. I pull my other leg in and then sink my body down into the hot water and bubbles.

  He follows with one leg and then the other. Then he braces his hands on either side of the tub and lowers himself down into the water.
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br />   I feel his legs bouncing off of mine, but I let him get comfortable.

  He lays his head back on the ledge of the tub and closes his eyes.

  That’s my queue. I shift my weight forward with a wave of water, and I am straddling his body before he knows what hits him.

  “What–” is all he can get out before my lips are smashed against his. I need him to feel me need him. I have to. I don’t know what the week holds for us. All I have is this moment, and I am going to hold on to it while I can.

  As our kiss softens and slows, I position myself above him with my thighs cradling his. I need to show him like he has shown me.

  I reach down to steady him and then lower myself down all the way until my body rests on his.

  “Goddamn,” he says on an exhale of breath.

  “Let me show you love.” I am using his words, but I don’t care. That’s all that needs to be said.

  I rock my hips back and forth a few times, slowly, so he can absorb everything I can give him. When his moaning has slowed, I proceed to change it up. I push off my knees and move up until he is almost out of me. I see the panic in his face, but it is short-lived as I settle back down on to him. I repeat this over and over and over again until I can see on his face that he can’t take any more. I should put him out, but I just can’t bring myself to. It feels too damn good.

  Kevin can’t seem to take any more because before I know it, we have completely changed positions. I now have my back pressed on top of the other side of the tub. My head is back over the ledge, and his powerful thrusts push into me as if there were no tomorrow. He lowers his lips to mine and captures them in one of our passionate kisses. God, he feels so good all over me. Not just one place, but all places. The speed of his thrusts have picked up, and yet they are still controlled. He wants me to enjoy this as much as he is, and I am. I lean up and put my legs around his waist while I still straddle him. I wrap my arms around him and pull him close while we both work to what we want.

  “Kevin.”

  “May.”

  Nothing else needs to be said. Just hearing how much he needs me in his voice, I convulse immediately around him. When he feels me, he lets go as well and joins me in one of the most incredible things I have ever felt.