The Love in his Heart

by Indiana Wake

  “Well, they obviously didn’t succeed. I saw him there just today.” Ray shrugged in a confused manner. “So, how did somebody try to get him fired?”

  “Somebody put some stolen money in his saddlebag.”

  “Who was the money stolen from?” Ray asked, and his green eyes were wide with disbelief. “You know, it really doesn’t seem like that kind of a place. I mean, I know I don’t know the ranch hands, but they sure do seem like a steady set of men. They seem tight too, as if they get along like friends.”

  “Yes, they do.” Janet could see his concern and wondered if Jimmy really had got his own suspicion’s all wrong.

  After all, Ray seemed ready to leap to the defense of the ranch hands, hardly the act of somebody who would want to shift suspicion from himself.

  “Janet, who was the money stolen from? You didn’t say.” He nodded as if to encourage her on with her story.

  “From Drake Darcey. Somebody had gotten into his kitchen and helped themselves to a roll of banknotes. And then they somehow managed to get the money into Jimmy’s saddle bag without being seen.”

  “Wow, that seems kind of… well… unlikely. I mean, that friend of yours seems to be tied to his horse.”

  “Well, they managed it somehow.”

  “So, the money was found in Jimmy’s saddle bag and he claimed not to know it was there, I take it?” Ray seemed suddenly interested.

  “No, Jimmy found it there himself and took it straight to Drake. It was lucky really, if he hadn’t looked in the saddlebag right then, things might have been very different. Or maybe not, I mean, Darcey trusts Jimmy.”

  “I guess that can happen. I mean, a man works for you for so many years, I suppose you could be forgiven for trusting him.”

  “Jimmy is trustworthy, Ray. He’s never stolen anything in his life and never would.”

  “I see.” Ray seemed scratchy again. “Well, no doubt you know him a lot better than I do.”

  “I know him better than anybody, I know he wouldn’t do it.”

  “So, who would do it then?” Ray turned to look straight into her eyes.

  Gone was his ordinary jovial attitude, his slight cockiness which made him so attractive. He looked at her now as if challenging her to say his name, to cast suspicion upon him. He looked angry, and Janet couldn’t blame him.

  “I don’t know,” she said, deciding not to tell Ray of Jimmy suspicions.

  After all, how could it help? Surely, it would only make things worse between the two men she cared most about.

  “If you think it is me, Janet, just say it.”

  “I don’t. How could I think it was you?” Janet said with a swirling of guilt. “I just thought you might have some ideas, that’s all. You work there, I don’t.”

  “All right, I’m sorry.” He kissed her forehead lightly, leaving his hand resting on the soft skin of her cheek. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you, not when you’re already upset.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you either, Ray. I guess I just felt bad for Jimmy. We were always such good friends, you know?”

  “I guess everything comes to an end.” Ray shrugged as if he understood but didn’t know how to help her. “Even childhood friendships.” He pulled her into his arms and held her firmly.

  “I just wish it wasn’t like that. I miss him,” she said honestly.

  “You know, it kind of hurts me to say this, but there might be somebody who doesn’t get along too well with Jimmy,” Ray said slowly, his voice heavily laden with regret.

  “But who?” Janet leaned back in his arms and stared up at his handsome face.

  “I know Garrett’s my friend, one of the best, but I don’t think he and Jimmy have seen eye to eye ever since we came to town. I don’t know, maybe Garrett is a little bit too loyal.”

  “Loyal?”

  “I guess he thinks that Jimmy is trying to get between you and me and, knowing how I feel about you, Garrett might have seen a way to upset the apple cart a bit. I don’t know, I don’t blame him. I mean, we’ve been friends for years. I guess you’d understand that.”

  “Of course, I do. But do you really think it could be Garrett?”

  “I do. But I’d rather not ask him. I mean, if it’s the truth and it gets out, Darcey will move him on for sure. He’d be well within his rights, of course, but I couldn’t just leave Garrett out there to move on to the next town alone. The three of us work together, always.”

  “No, no. Please, don’t say anything to Garrett.” Janet was feeling the familiar panic at the idea of Ray leaving town. “But could you just, I don’t know, see that it doesn’t happen again?”

  “Don’t you go worrying about it. I’ll keep my eye on things from now on.” Ray took her hand to set off walking again. “Now then, I’d better get you home. You’ve got sewing to do, remember?” He grinned and Janet, seizing upon his every word, felt deeply relieved.

  * * *

  As Jimmy walked away from church on Sunday, the last person he expected to see was Janet. He’d been pretty determined to stay out of her way and hadn’t even seen her in church at all. Still, he’d made a point of not looking for her.

  As he’d said to her when they’d argued, she made her choice and her life was her own. He knew she would take a little shifting from his heart, even if such a thing could be achieved, but he was going to give himself time to do just that.

  So, when he’d seen her hovering a little further up the street, wearing her Sunday best and clearly having darted out of church ahead of him, Jimmy didn’t know whether to walk toward her or walk around her.

  “Jimmy?” she said gently, her green eyes wide and shining. “Please, can we talk?”

  “Sure, why not.” He continued to walk. “I’m on my way home,” he said, to let her know that he wasn’t going to break his stride for her.

  He was still angry at her determined refusal to see the truth. Even though the sight of her almost turned him inside out, but he had his pride and he most certainly wasn’t going to abandon it, not now.

  “So, can I walk with you?”

  “Of course.” Jimmy smiled noncommittally, determined not to be rude and equally determined not to be good old Jimmy.

  That’s what he’d been all along, and he knew it. Good old Jimmy, still trying to be her friend even though it broke his heart. Good old Jimmy, ready to try to carry on where they’d left off, to be understanding, to accept that Ray was the man she wanted.

  That was all well and good, but this went beyond her choosing to believe Ray. He couldn’t care less whether she believed Ray or not. The fact of the matter was that she had chosen not to believe him. She’d thrown his love for her in his face so casually and, despite the fact he had known her to be angry, he wasn’t about to excuse it.

  They weren’t twelve anymore, and Janet wasn’t the one grieving this time. As far as Jimmy was concerned, Janet could keep her anger to herself. And as far as her life went, he most certainly wouldn’t willingly take part in it ever again. He’d keep his nose out, just as she wanted.

  “I just wanted to apologize for some of the things I said to you the other night on the porch,” she said, and he could hear the emotion in her voice.

  Why couldn’t he just stand firm against this? Why did her pain cause him pain? Couldn’t he just be rid of her once and for all?

  “I guess we both said things we didn’t mean,” he said quietly. “And I sure did say some things to you that I regret, but my accusation wasn’t one of them. If you’ve come to me hoping that I’ll take that back, you’ve come to the wrong man, Janet.” He continued to walk, not slowing his pace for a moment.

  “No, I know. And I don’t expect you to,” she said.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hastily dash away a tear.

  “And I did speak to Ray about it.”

  “I see.” Jimmy was struggling hard against an urge to protect her.

  He had never been able to bear Janet’s tears, even though she so r
arely shed them. He didn’t want to be the cause of any pain and yet he couldn’t see any other way. He couldn’t keep giving in to Janet, he couldn’t continually offer the hand of friendship only to have it slapped time and time again. Especially not when that friendship would only drive the stake of unrequited love through his heart day upon day. There was only so much he could stand.

  “And he asked me not to say anything about this, but I just knew I had to. But what I tell you now, Jimmy, you really do have to keep it secret. If Drake Darcey finds out what Garrett did, all of them will probably have to go, and that isn’t fair.”

  “Garrett?” Jimmy said incredulously.

  “Yes, you know Garrett, he’s one of…”

  “Yes, I know who Garrett is,” Jimmy said and immediately realized just how low Burnett was prepared to stoop.

  To cover himself, he was willing to sacrifice a friend. While Jimmy didn’t particularly know Garrett, certainly not enough to know whether he was a good man or a bad one, he certainly felt for him at that moment.

  “Well, he thinks that Garrett might have taken his loyalty to him a bit too far. I mean, if Garrett thinks that you are trying to get between us, well…”

  “I haven’t tried to get between you once,” Jimmy said, keen to lead with that assertion. “And as for Garrett, I’ve never had any argument with him as far as I’m aware.”

  “Then you won’t say anything to Drake?”

  “Why should I? I can’t prove any of it, nobody can. As long as your friends stay away from me in future, there’ll be nothing to tell.”

  “Well, I honestly think it’s just Garrett.”

  “Of course, you do,” Jimmy said, then softened a little. “Look, I really don’t care anymore. I don’t have any argument with Garrett and I’m not looking to have any of them fired. I just want to get on with my day-to-day life now, all right?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Is there something else?” he said flatly. “Only, I want to be getting on my way now.”

  “Yes, there is something else.”

  “What is it?”

  “Are we still friends, Jimmy?”

  “I suppose so,” he said and shrugged.

  Her face fell, and her head dropped. He knew she was crying and he didn’t want to look. But in the end, he couldn’t ignore it. He knew he couldn’t walk away from her, however much he wanted to.

  “Look, we’re still friends. I haven’t just stopped caring for you like that, have I?” he said and clicked his fingers loudly. “And I don’t blame you for anything that happened at work. But you need to know that I won’t put up with that from anybody, not again.”

  “Ray said he’d keep his eye out now, really. He’s going to make sure that Garrett doesn’t do anything else silly in future.”

  “All right,” he said with gritted teeth but he reached out to touch her cheek.

  Janet didn’t move, although he had assumed that she would back away from him. Instead she stared back at him as he gently dried her tears. But the longer he let his hand rest on her face, the deeper he could feel himself falling, and Jimmy wasn’t going to be anybody’s fool.

  “You take care now, Janet.” He smiled as best he could and turned to leave.

  “You too, Jimmy. Don’t be a stranger, will you?”

  “Of course not,” he said, unable to look her in the eye as he lied.

  14

  It was getting dark by the time Jimmy and Drake had finished the last of the repairs. If it had taken any longer, they would have needed to light a fire to work by.

  “Thanks again, Jimmy.” Drake clapped a hand on his back as the two of them walked their horses down the sloping field toward the ranch house. “I wouldn’t have got that fixed by nightfall if you hadn’t stayed.”

  “At least the damage looks to have been done by the cattle and not rustlers,” Jimmy said, pleased that he’d stayed on and safe in the knowledge that his employer would give him a healthy extra in his pay packet that week.

  His savings really were coming on, the years of hard work slowly showing signs of paying off. Of course, it always helped his cause that he was the only one always willing to stay behind and deal with whatever little problem befell the ranch. He was loyal and hard-working and certainly not shy to admit that any success he received had been well earned.

  “That sure does help me sleep better at night, I can tell you.” Drake laughed. “Well, why don’t you come in a little bit later tomorrow? Sleep it off.”

  “No, there’s nothing to sleep off,” Jimmy said, determined to work every hour he could. “I’ll be in at the same old time.” He chuckled and climbed up onto his horse.

  It was fully dark by the time he dropped down into the town and Jimmy decided to stop at the saloon bar for a drink of beer. It wasn’t something he ordinarily did, it was just a once in a while treat when he’d worked real hard.

  But after he tied his horse to the post outside and began to make his way to the door of the bar, a sound down the side of the building drew his attention. He walked past the door and peered around the edge, squinting into the moonlit alleyway in the hopes his eyes would quickly acclimatize.

  When they did, he could see none other than Ray Burnett with a woman in his arms. He felt sick suddenly, instantly assuming it to be Janet. Of course it would be Janet, who else? But it was something he wasn’t yet ready to see, and he turned back toward the entrance, determined not to see any more.

  “Come on, let’s go to your lodgings. You know we can’t go back to my house, not even with my husband away.” The gravelly female voice seemed to drift along the alleyway clearly, stopping Jimmy in his tracks.

  Whoever that was, it most certainly wasn’t Janet. Janet had a voice that was light and melodic, always sounding like something between laughter and singing. Whoever that was, she certainly couldn’t lay claim to the same attribute.

  Jimmy stood stock still for a moment, wondering if he should stay to hear more or just move on and forget all about it. If Janet was so determined to believe everything Ray told her, why not this too?

  He had a story for everything, a cheap line to cover all eventualities, and Jimmy had no doubt that this would be no different.

  “I barely managed to sneak you out the last time. Remember?” Burnett’s voice was low and seductive.

  Jimmy’s face twisted into a scowl of distaste.

  “That old crow Connie is getting suspicious, I’m sure of it. Look how long I had to hang back the last time to get you out of there. I was lucky not to get caught sneaking into work in the middle of the day.”

  Jimmy drew in his breath. So, that was why Ray had been so furtively sneaking through the ranch lands that day. That was why he puffed out his chest and threatened Jimmy so unnecessarily. That was one heck of a guilty conscience.

  “Well, if we can’t go there and we can’t go to my place, I don’t know what we’re going to do.” The gravelly female voice had a wanton edge that turned Jimmy's stomach.

  “Come on, I’ll risk it,” Ray said and, hearing footsteps, Jimmy darted around to the other side of the building.

  From the relative safety of his new vantage point, Jimmy watched in disgust as Ray Burnett walked brazenly down the street through the darkness with the unknown married woman.

  * * *

  Guessing that Burnett would very likely be taking Janet to the barn dance again on Saturday, Jimmy had decided to go to the boarding house and speak to Connie.

  He didn’t want to risk being seen, for he already knew how ready Janet was to believe him to be the troublemaker. The lovelorn young man who would do anything to get what he wanted. And so, he had kept a discreet distance from the town barn and watched as the revelers began to make their way in. In no time at all, he’d picked out Janet on the arm of Ray and, seeing them disappear in through the open door of the barn, he knew he had a little time.

  He raced back through the town and around the side of Connie Langdon’s boarding house. He went in
through the kitchen door at the back, rightly judging that the landlady would undoubtedly be there.

  “Jimmy,” she said with a broad smile as she dried a plate and set it down on a pile of other dry plates.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t want to disturb you if you’re clearing up after dinner,” Jimmy said but continued to wander into the kitchen anyway.

  “I’m always clearing up after something or other, Jimmy. If I let that stop me, I’d never have five minutes conversation for the rest of my life.”

  “I see what you mean.” Jimmy laughed but it was dry and brittle, completely unconvincing.

  “So, why do you look like that, young man?” Connie said, getting straight to the heart of the matter.

  “I guess I’ve got something I want to talk to you about.”

  “Let me guess; Janet?”

  “In a roundabout sort of way, yes.”

  “Ah, then it must be Ray Burnett.”

  “Do you know what I’m going to say next, or shall I just keep going?” Jimmy said humorously.

  “That’s better,” Connie said and set down her drying cloth to make her way to the pantry. “Don’t lose yourself in misery, Jimmy. You’re not a miserable boy, you never have been.”

  “But hardly an exciting one, huh?”

  “I never thought I’d see you let that sort of nonsense get to you.” Connie reached into the pantry and pulled out a brandy bottle and two glasses. “Just one, what do you say?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “As I was saying, don’t go changing anything, Jimmy. There’s no point wandering through this world adapting yourself to please others. It’s too tiring, Jimmy. Too exhausting.”

  “I have no intentions of changing, Connie. I’ve just got a worry or two on my mind, that’s all.”

  “And what’s that?” She poured them each a more than generous helping of brandy and settled down at the kitchen table opposite him. “Come on, whatever it is, get it said.”

  “I saw Ray Burnett with a woman who wasn’t Janet.” He got straight to the point.