Claiming Their Racy Sub [Racy Nights 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tara Rose

  It didn’t matter what Chase thought. Luke wanted to turn back time and make everything right. But he couldn’t do that. And now he had a bar full of customers who didn’t show any signs of wanting to leave.

  “Penny for your thoughts.” He smiled at Cherilyn Barker. She and Kari were the same age, and she used to be one of Kari’s closest friends. She was a pretty girl, with long brown hair and dark eyes. Her husband had been killed while on duty in Afghanistan last year, and it had taken at least six months before anyone saw her around town again.

  “You want the truth or a good lie?”

  “Uh-oh. This sounds serious.”

  “Just too much on my mind these days. How is your house? Were you able to get out of the driveway or did you walk here?”

  “Me? Oh heck. A little snow isn’t going to stop me, Luke. I’ve braved worse than that.”

  “Yes, you have.” He never knew what to say about Chuck, her husband. Chuck had been a good guy, and they all missed him. But after a while it sounded fake to keep saying how sorry you were that he’d died, so most times Luke said nothing at all.

  Cherilyn glanced around, spotted Melinda Troy, another former best friend of Kari’s, and told Luke she’d see him later. It was just as well. Luke could no sooner make small talk tonight than he could fix the roof on City Hall by himself.

  The urge to call Alexa was strong, but he agreed with Chase on one thing. She needed time to think. He just hoped she wouldn’t think herself right out of wanting him in her life.

  * * * *

  Chase knew he was drinking too much and he didn’t care. Being shot down twice in one day, and shot down hard at that, was more than he could handle right now. He went over what had happened this morning a million times, and reached the same conclusion, no matter how he looked at it. Alexa had thrown them out because she was guilty about her past and she couldn’t reconcile it.

  Chase blamed himself, ultimately. He’d forced her hand by calling Sean. Alexa had then been forced to tell them everything about Brad. At least, he assumed she’d told them everything. Who the hell actually knew, besides Alexa?

  He couldn’t blame Luke. Luke had no experience with abuse. And he was so fucking head-over-heels in love with Alexa that if she asked him to drive off a bridge, the poor bastard would do it.

  Chase had seen the two sets of boot prints in the snow, leading behind the house. Luke had actually played in the snow with her. The fucking snow! Luke Rodriguez hated winter, and especially snow, more than anyone else in Racy.

  And as if that hadn’t been bad enough, Kari had practically thrown him out of Noah’s condo singlehandedly. She showed the fire inside her when it came to protecting Alexa, and that was noble and all, but it had pissed Chase off to no end when Adison and Noah had stood by, stupid eat-shit grins on their damn faces, and not said a word to her.

  Then again, he had been out of line to bring it up, and he’d known that. It was just that he didn’t know where else to turn or what to do. He’d even thought about calling Julie Carruthers, but he knew Julie wouldn’t have been able to tell him anything even if she’d wanted to. It went against her ethical and professional code.

  Chase was screwed. He’d have to wait for Alexa to call him, or take a chance and go over there and beg her talk to him. Damn it all to hell and back anyway. That girl was in pain and Chase understood that. He understood it all too well. It wasn’t right that he sat here brooding and drinking himself into a stupor. He should be holding her in his arms, stroking her soft hair and telling her everything was going to be okay.

  He tossed the rest of his whiskey into the sink and headed upstairs to pee and put on clean clothes. As he sprinted down the stairs, the doorbell rang. Cursing under his breath, he yanked open the door, ready to tell whoever it was to go fuck himself, and stopped cold.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Alexa stood on his stoop, looking like she hadn’t slept in a week. She was shivering in the cold. “Come in. I was just on my way to see you.” He glanced outside and realized her car was nowhere in sight. “Alexa, how did you get here?”

  She stepped over the threshold, still trembling. “I walked.”

  “What?” His condo was four miles from her house.

  “Cold air clears my head.”

  “It’s dark.”

  “That happens when the sun goes down, Chase.”

  “Alexa, what if…” He stopped himself from suggesting that Brad could have been cruising through Racy and spotted her walking alone. She had enough to deal with, and she had most likely thought of that possibility.

  “No one saw me.”

  She stepped inside, and Chase closed the door. “Let me make you some hot tea. And I’ll light a fire.” It was a gas fireplace, and although Chase missed the wood-burning one he’d grown up with, right now he was grateful that it lit with the twist of a lever. Alexa took off her coat and boots and sat in front of it cross-legged, on the floor.

  He went into the kitchen and tried to slow his heartbeat and collect his thoughts. If he fucked this up, he might lose her forever. He had to let her bring up the tough subjects. When the tea was ready, he carried two mugs over to where she sat. He didn’t normally drink it, but it might help dilute the alcohol from earlier so that he could keep a clear head.

  “Kari called me earlier, a few hours after you and Luke left.”

  Chase winced inwardly. He’d been hoping Alexa would never have to hear about his attempt to talk to Kari, Noah, and Adison.

  “She said you went to Noah’s condo and tried to talk about me but that she shut you down.”

  “I’m sorry, Alexa. I shouldn’t have done that. I was simply worried about you and was hoping they could shed some light.”

  “I know you were. I’m not upset.” She sipped her tea and watched the gas flames.

  “Thank you.”

  “This fire is nice. And thank you for the tea. I wish Luke were here, too, though, because I have to tell you both something.”

  Chase’s pulse began to race again. “He opened his bar. It could be a while before he’s done for the night.”

  “I know. Do you think he’d mind if I told you now and told him later? I need to get this out or I’ll lose my courage.”

  “Alexa, Luke would drive into Lake Michigan for you if you asked him to. I don’t think it’s possible for you to upset him.”

  She glanced at him, and Chase recoiled at the pain in her beautiful blue eyes. “And what about what I did this morning? Don’t you think he’s upset by that?”

  “No. Neither of us is upset with you.”

  She turned her attention toward the flames again. Luke should be here to hear this, but Chase didn’t want to discourage her from getting all this off her chest. “Why did you throw us out? Any idea?” He tried to keep his voice casual.

  Alexa snorted. “You sound like Julie, my shrink.” She cut her gaze to him for a quick second. “And don’t pretend you don’t know I’m seeing one. Luke told me he slipped up and told you.”

  “Okay. I won't pretend.”

  “I’m not upset about that either, Chase.”

  “So what has you so upset, Alexa? Was it talking to Sean this morning, or is there more to it than that?”

  “There’s a lot more.”

  “So tell me.” Every nerve ending was on fire. He had to keep it together so he didn’t blow this.

  “I saw Julie today and told her I would tell both of you, but I’m afraid to.”

  “Why, love?” The word slipped out before he could stop it, and Chase prayed she wouldn’t turn on him again for using it.

  “Because I’m afraid you won’t want me after I tell you.”

  “Not possible.”

  She glanced at him again, doubt crossing her face. “How do you know that?”

  “Because I’m in—because I’m crazy about you—Alexa Elyse Monahan. And whatever happened to you before is in the past. And I’d like to help you deal with it, if you’ll let me.” Chase had to stop
talking because breathing was suddenly difficult. He’d nearly told her he was in love with her. The words had been right there, ready to come out. Had she noticed the near slip?

  He hadn’t even known he felt that way about her until the words bubbled up. Holy fuck. It was true. He was absolutely in love with her. Talk about shitty timing. This was the worst possible moment to come to a realization like that.

  It took about thirty seconds for him to realize she’d begun talking.

  “Before I met Brad, I lived with my mother. It’s her last name I have. She doesn’t know who my father was. She worked for an escort service. You know they do more than accompany men to dinners and stuff, right?”

  Chase nodded. He already didn’t like where this was going.

  “She had a string of boyfriends, some live-in, some not, but there was always a man or two hanging around.” She placed her cup on the fireplace hearth and hugged her knees. “When I turned twelve I began to…to grow breasts. And I got curves. That’s when her boyfriends began to take more than a passing interest in me. My mother usually drank herself to sleep every night, and…well…I was in the next room.”

  “Oh, Jesus Christ.” Chase hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the rage boiling up inside him was too much to try and contain. He’d suspected something bad in her remote past, but not this. It explained everything.

  “I don’t know how many of her boyfriends forced me to have sex over the years. I stopped counting. When I was fourteen I was in the hospital for three weeks with an infection so bad that it scarred my Fallopian tubes. I’ll never be able to conceive. The rapes stopped for about a year after that, because my mother felt guilty. She did that occasionally. She actually got a real job for a while, but it didn’t take long for her to go back to her old habits, or for her boyfriends to start sneaking into my room again at night.”

  “Why didn’t they take you away from her? I mean, when you had the infection at such a young age, didn’t they suspect sexual abuse?”

  “She told them I had a boyfriend at school and that we were having sex. When I threatened to tell the doctors and nurses the truth, she told me if I did they’d take me away and it would be far worse in any foster home they’d put me in. I was terrified to be away from her, but I was also afraid to be home, especially when she drank.”

  She sighed out loud. “And don’t worry about diseases now. I’ve been tested more than once during the past few years. Miraculously, I’m clean.”

  “Alexa…I don’t know what to say.” Chase had to put down his teacup as well because he was suddenly nauseous and was afraid he’d spill it. His hands shook. He wanted to hold her, but sensed that she needed no contact right now. She needed to talk, and he needed to listen.

  “My mother died when I was twenty-one. Dead from a drug overdose they said. I found her on her bed, caked in her own dried vomit. I had a job by then at a Starbucks right around the corner, but it wasn’t enough to pay the rent and utilities. I didn’t know what to do. When I met Brad, he seemed like the answer to all my prayers.”

  Chase nodded. Of course he would have seemed like that. He gave her a home, clothes, food, and abusive sex, which was all she’d ever known.

  “At first he was nice to me. I swear it. He didn’t force me to do anything, and he was patient with my sexual inhibitions. I didn’t move in with him until I could no longer pay the rent. After that, he kept pressuring me to give up my job at Starbucks, saying it cut into our time together, which of course was bullshit. But once I did that—once I was completely dependent on him for food and shelter—he dropped the sweet-and-kind act.”

  Chase didn’t say anything. He was stunned at how much she’d been through.

  “And now I’m here, and you already know what Brad did to me for years.”

  “Does Julie know all this?”

  “Yes. She wants me to go to a support group for abuse and rape victims. There are meetings in both Indy and Chicago.”

  “I’ll go with you if you want.”

  She looked at him as if he were insane. “You would do that? Why?”

  “Because I could use the meetings myself.”

  “Excuse me?”

  He sighed deeply, suddenly wishing he’d told her this earlier, but knowing now was the right time to do so. “Alexa, I have a confession of my own. I told you that the scar from my knife wound is from a stupid kid thing. It is, but a kid didn’t stab me. My father did.”

  * * * *

  Alexa stared at him, not comprehending. The looks of pain she’d seen cross his face from time to time passed through her mind, and suddenly so many things made sense. “Why did he do that?”

  “Because he could. He beat the shit out of my brother Reece, my mother, and me. It’s all I knew. Aunt Tess was his sister. I think she knew what he was doing, but no one ever said anything. We simply didn’t talk about it. Reece and I went to school with bruises all the time, but because we had a reputation for always getting into trouble, no one suspected a thing. Or if they did, they didn’t say anything.”

  “Chase, I’m so sorry. Who else knows? I mean, here in Racy?”

  “Noah. He had a shitty childhood himself. We bonded over our shared pasts.”

  “Did you ever see a therapist?”

  Chase chuckled. “More than once. But I’m a big, strong man, right? Why do I need to talk about this with strangers?” To say his voice dripped with sarcasm was an understatement.

  “Are your parents still here in Racy?” She realized how little she knew about Chase’s life.

  He shook his head. “Reece moved to Chicago a long time ago. My father is dead. Fatally shot during a bar fight when I was in college. My mother…” He started into the fire and sighed. “My mother committed suicide when I was a senior in high school.”

  “Oh, Chase…”

  “It’s okay, Alexa. She’s at peace now.”

  Alexa shivered. That’s exactly what she had thought when she’d found her mother dead. “Thank you for telling me, Chase.”

  “We’re a fucked-up pair, aren’t we?”

  She nodded. Getting all that out had been easier than she’d ever imagined it would be. She’d thought she would cry and scream, but instead she was simply numb. But to find out Chase had been abused as well helped a great deal. It was horrible to imagine what he’d gone through, but now she knew that he understood her past as well. It also explained a lot about his reactions at certain times.

  Alexa scooted closer to him and leaned against his strong body. He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. They sat in front of the fire, watching the flames. Words weren’t necessary now. They both understood what the other had gone through. All she had to do now was figure out how to tell Luke. Would he understand as well?

  Chase’s phone rang, and Alexa jumped slightly. How long would that go on? How many weeks or months or years would have to pass before she knew for certain that Brad was out of her life forever? Would she ever completely know that?

  “Hey, Luke. We were just talking about you.”

  “Is he coming over?”

  Chase nodded. “Sure thing. We’ll be waiting. Alexa has something very important to tell you, and so do I.”

  Chase disconnected the call. “We’ll tell him together.” He put down the phone and took her hands. “You’re not alone in this, Alexa. We won’t abandon you.”

  It was more than she could ever have hoped for.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Alexa woke, unsure at first where she was. Then she remembered. She was in the spare room in Chase’s condo. Luke had come over and she and Chase had told him about their pasts. He’d been angry and sad, and had wanted to rage against anyone and everyone. Alexa loved that about him. Chase had been right. Luke would do anything for her. He was as true and loyal a friend to her as Kari had ever been. They both were.

  Luke had also refused to allow her to blame herself for what had happened that morning. Chase had spent a long time telling both of them all he�
�d learned about what a true Dom/sub relationship was supposed to be like, and suggested they come with him to Maddox’s club to meet others in Racy who were in the lifestyle. He said any of them would be happy to answer questions or talk to Luke and Alexa in private.

  Luke had been all for it, saying he was willing to do anything that would help Alexa, but Alexa said she wasn’t quite ready to take a step like that yet. Luke had offered to come to the support group meetings as well, and the three had agreed to go as a group. It was close to two in the morning when Luke finally fell asleep on the sofa, and Chase tucked her into the bed in this room, kissing her on the forehead and nothing more. Alexa had been more grateful for that than anything that had happened last evening. If he’d tried to make love to her after such an emotionally draining talk, it would have trivialized everything they’d told each other.

  Now, however, she was wide awake, and she wanted to hold her men, even if all they did was cuddle. After she used the bathroom, she tiptoed downstairs for some water. Luke stirred, but she finally decided not to wake him up, even though the urge to crawl into his arms was strong. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Telling them both had been the right thing to do. Julie would be so proud when she told her. She should have done it before they’d ever made love, but what was done was done. Now she had to move forward and take real steps toward healing her past.

  Luke sat up just as Alexa walked past him toward the stairs. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. I just needed some water.”

  “What time is it?”

  “I’m not sure, but the sun’s not up yet.”

  “Come here and sit with me for a while.” He held out his arms, and Alexa’s earlier resolve caved. She crawled next to him and wrapped her arms around him, shocked at the level of arousal coursing through her body. He smelled so good, and his embrace was so warm.