S.T.I.N.K.B.O.M.B.

by Rob Stevens

  It was flapping about helplessly on the floor of the cylinder, eyes staring blankly as its thick lips opened rhythmically.

  Archie felt a sense of immense anticlimax but it lasted only a split second. He had hoped to return someone who was part man and part fish to his normal self. If he had returned a fish to normal in one cylinder, then surely in the other cylinder … ?

  He heard someone coughing and turned to see a boy staggering from the plume of smoke billowing over the base plate of cylinder four.

  Archie grabbed the boy, pulling an arm over his shoulder and supporting his weight. Glancing sideways, he saw the boy’s short bleached hair and a stud piercing his eyebrow, glinting as it had done in the laboratory, and he knew he’d been right.

  ‘Come with me, Jason,’ Archie instructed, pulling one of Jason’s arms over his shoulder. ‘I’m going to get you out of here.’

  The boy’s mouth snarled up on one side. ‘How do you know my name?’ he asked.

  Archie smiled. ‘Long story’

  Archie supported Jason’s weight as the pair fought their way up the rocking stairs to the balcony.

  Using the railing as a foothold, Jason clambered up and levered himself through the escape hatch. Archie pushed Jason from below then followed him on to the roof just as the balcony came away from the wall and crashed down below. Outside on the roof, Archie could see the helicopter hovering about a mile out to sea. The thought of his father, Gemma, Barney and the other two boys anxiously waiting spurred him on as he ran across the rooftop towards the Dragonfly, still taking most of Jason’s weight.

  ‘Jump in!’ he yelled to Jason as he stood in the foothold on the side of the plane and unlatched the canopy. Still looking dazed, Jason did as he was told and hauled himself into the Dragonfly’s passenger seat. Archie’s hands blurred across the instrument panels, flicking switches and buttons as he fired up the plane’s jet engines.

  Suddenly there was a crack like gunfire behind them and Archie knew immediately what had happened. With an agonising groan the whole arm of the building listed sharply downward, leaning towards the rocks at a terrifying angle.

  Archie slammed the throttles forward but the plane didn’t respond – its engines were still accelerating.

  Suddenly the building gave way beneath them, dropping away like a trapdoor.

  Archie felt his stomach flip as the Dragonfly went into free fall. The plane tipped forward as it plummeted towards the precipitous rocks waiting to smash it to pieces far below.

  Just as it seemed all hope was gone, Archie felt the engines roar to life, cushioning the plane’s descent then forcing it upward, away from certain destruction and straight up into the air. As the Dragonfly powered skyward he eased the aircraft back to an even keel, allowing it to climb a hundred feet above the ridge before speeding out to sea.

  When he was sure the Dragonfly was far enough away from the destruction he’d left behind, Archie banked into a steep climbing turn and glanced over his shoulder. Through the glass canopy he could see the whole section of Villenemi’s lair sliding down the mountainside. It was now broken into three pieces that bounced and skidded on the rough terrain before plunging into the ocean, sending sheets of water high into the air. Where one arm of the building had broken away a gaping hole offered a clear view of the inside of Villenemi’s hideout. The Transmutator was now glowing an incandescent white while the ground around it was slowly caving in.

  Then a vast fireball billowed high into the sky in eerie silence. A split second later the sound of an immense explosion filled the sky, violently shaking the Dragonfly as lumps of sandstone arced into the air like meteors.

  ‘Whoo-hoo!’ Archie immediately recognised Barney’s voice in his headset.

  ‘Hey, Agent Zulu,’ Archie beamed. He could see the helicopter about three miles away in his twelve o’clock. ‘You were right about the trapdoor to the shark tank after all.’

  ‘I know.’ Barney sounded hyper. ‘But is it me or are Evil Masterminds’ lairs really going downhill these days?’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Archie replied. ‘I think we just witnessed a property boom.’

  ‘Zulu, this is X-ray, do you copy?’ Gemma sounded stern.

  ‘Go ahead, X-ray.’

  ‘What kind of stunt were you playing back there? When I told you to evacuate, that was an order.’

  ‘Sorry. I just had to do something that was important to me.’

  ‘I thought we’d agreed you can’t just do what you want? STINKBOMB is a team.’

  ‘I know.’ Archie levelled the plane at eight thousand feet. ‘That’s why it was important to me to show you I’ve learned not to be selfish all the time.’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I’ve got something for you.’

  ‘For me? What is it?’

  ‘Oh, nothing special.’ Archie glanced at Jason and smiled.

  After a moment’s silence, Jason spoke into his microphone. ‘Hey, Sis.’

  The squeal of delight that Gemma emitted was so loud and shrill that Archie had to remove his headset in case his eardrums burst. When eventually she had composed herself enough to speak she did so with mock annoyance. ‘Jason, where on earth have you been? You were supposed to be home months ago. Mum and Dad are going to go mental.’

  ‘I know, I’m sorry.’ Jason shrugged. ‘I haven’t been myself lately. Thanks to Archie though I’ll be home in no time. It’ll be like I’ve never been away.’

  ‘Archie, are you still there?’ Gemma asked. ‘How did you know Finn was my brother?’

  ‘I started to get suspicious in the hotel in Hamburg,’ Archie explained. ‘He called you Gemma even though you’d been introduced as Agent X-ray.’

  ‘Pretty sharp,’ Gemma said.

  ‘When I saw the sample in Doom’s lab I recognised Jason’s eyebrow stud from the photo you’d shown me,’ Archie continued excitedly. ‘And the test tube was labelled 24121600.’

  ‘Which means?’

  ‘Twenty-four, twelve is the date,’ Archie said. ‘And sixteen-hundred is the time.’

  ‘Four o’clock was about the time Jason went missing on Christmas Eve last year,’ Gemma muttered.

  ‘That’s what I guessed. It’s the same code Doom used for the snatch at the gallery.’

  ‘Quite the detective, aren’t you, Agent Yankee?’ Gemma remarked with a smile.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Archie said. ‘You can thank me later.’

  ‘Thank you?’ Gemma laughed. ‘I could kill you. He’s always taking my stuff without asking and embarrassing me in front of my friends. Have you any idea how annoying a kid brother he is?’

  Archie and Jason exchanged a high five.

  ‘Listen, kiddo,’ Richard chipped in. ‘Nice work back there – I’m proud of you.’

  ‘Thanks, Dad.’ Archie paused and when he spoke again his voice was quiet. ‘Dad? I can’t believe Mum was an agent …’

  ‘I’m really sorry, Archie,’ Richard replied warmly. ‘I was going to tell you when I thought you were old enough. Looks like that time has come. Let’s talk on the ground – we’ve been cleared to land at Nice airport. The wind’s a tricky north-easterly so take it easy near the deck. I’ll see you on the helipad.’

  ‘Archie?’ it was Gemma again. ‘I’ve got IC on the phone. She knows what happened and she just wants a quick word. I’ll patch her through over the RT.’

  ‘Agent Yankee, this is IC. Well, it looks like following orders is hardly your strong point, doesn’t it?’

  Archie hesitated for a moment, unsure how to explain his actions.

  IC continued, ‘However, it looks like defeating odious masterminds certainly is. Well done, Yankee.’

  ‘Thank you, IC,’ Archie replied.

  ‘Someone else here wants to have a word.’

  He could hear her passing the phone over.

  ‘OGM, Agent Yankee!’ enthused Holden Grey. ‘There is only one word to describe what STINKBOMB has achieved – spectacular. Oh, and brilli
antly swashbuckling. Come to think of it, intrepid sums it up quite neatly too. So I guess I’m saying there are a number of words to describe what STINKBOMB has done for the nation of our country. Mr Figo is suitably impressed by our monumental success and I made it quite clear to him that it was not all down to my technological je ne sais rein. Enough respect.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Grey.’

  ‘FIY, STINKBOMB has been awarded official MI6 agency status so next time an odious mastermind comes knocking we’ll be looming large and lying low – you get me?’

  ‘I think so,’ Archie said uncertainly.

  ‘In that case you have a safe landing and we’ll see you when you’re on terra cotta. Laters.’

  Archie sensed Jason staring at him, his mouth slightly ajar.

  He grimaced and shrugged. ‘Don’t ask.’

  Snapping the control column to the right he rolled the plane on to its wing tip and smiled to himself. The sea was glistening in the afternoon sunshine that was bathing the coastline in warm golden light. All of Dr Doom’s hostages were safe and the madman’s evil plot had been thwarted.

  ‘Mission accomplished,’ he said to himself.

  Suddenly a blurred black shape flashed over his shoulder and he was slammed against the side of the cockpit. He immediately recognised the searing vice-like grip squeezing his wrist and an awful realisation dawned on him.

  The pincer attached to his hood! he thought. It had regenerated into another crabman.

  The crabman was grappling with the aircraft’s controls. Archie’s face was buried in his attacker’s body but he could feel the plane bucking and weaving as he battled to maintain a safe flight path. But it was no good. The crabman was too strong and Archie could feel his grip weakening.

  He felt the plane lurch into a vertical climb and knew he had only seconds to do something before the Dragonfly ran out of energy and tumbled back to earth.

  Wriggling one hand free, he reached up and twisted the red latch over his head. Easing the other arm under the crabman’s body, he felt about until he’d located the control stick but he didn’t try to seize it.

  ‘Listen, Claws,’ Archie grunted. ‘You really should have your seat belt on, you know. As you told my friend earlier, if you’re not strapped in you could end up getting hurt, and we wouldn’t want that now, would we?’

  Claws reacted to Archie’s comment with a moment’s confusion during which he inadvertently relaxed his grip on the control column. Seizing his opportunity, Archie grabbed the stick and shoved it forward immediately, slamming it to one side.

  The Dragonfly’s nose dropped sharply then it flipped upside down. When the plane was inverted Archie checked the roll and held the plane level, feeling the pressure on his shoulders as he hung in his harness.

  In the blink of an eye the black mass pressing Archie to his seat fell out of his lap and tumbled through the open canopy above his head. He looked up to see the crabman flailing helplessly as he accelerated towards the sea, receding to no more than a speck at a blistering rate.

  ‘That’s what you get for being so shellfish,’ Archie muttered, rolling the Dragonfly the right way up.

  The plane’s speed was dangerously low so he poured on full power but it was too late. The nose kicked up as the Dragonfly flipped on to its back and corkscrewed earthward in a tightening spiral dive.

  Archie cut the power and squeezed on the left rudder pedal to arrest the spin.

  The aircraft plunged through eight thousand feet, rotating fast. The outside world was still turning as the altimeter wound past four thousand feet.

  ‘Do something!’Jason yelped.

  ‘In a moment,’ Archie replied calmly.

  One thousand feet. Finally the spinning stopped.

  Archie pulled on the control stick, gently at first but steadily increasing the back-pressure. He felt the wings start to shake. The Dragonfly was dangerously close to a high-speed stall, but Archie had no choice but to maintain his pull. Reluctantly the aircraft raised its nose slightly but they were still plunging. More pressure on the controls made the plane judder like a car racing over a cattle grid.

  At last the aircraft was showing signs of coming out of its dive. Shaking violently, its plummet began to flatten as it swooped towards the pebbly beach below.

  ‘One hundred feet,’ announced the radio altimeter.

  Archie kept pulling.

  ‘Fifty feet.’

  There was nothing else he could do.

  ‘Thirty feet.’

  He screwed his eyes shut.

  Silence.

  Archie waited.

  Then, ‘Fifty feet … One hundred feet …’

  ‘Yee-haa,’ Archie screamed, gradually feeding on the power as the Dragonfly speared upward over the shoreline. ‘We did it!’

  Jason said nothing but a weary smile spread across his bloodless face.

  ‘Archie, where are you?’ It was his father on the radio. ‘Is everything OK?’

  ‘Coming, Dad,’ Archie replied easily. ‘I just had to drop someone off. Then I thought I’d take Jason for a quick spin.’

  Archie banked the plane out to sea, beginning a wide circuit round to the helipad at Nice airport. He set the Dragonfly down about forty yards from the helicopter, killed the engines and slid back the canopy. As he and Jason crossed the tarmac, he saw Gemma’s slight frame climb out of the helicopter and start walking towards them. Within a few strides she had broken into a run and Jason immediately ran off to meet his sister, who threw her arms round him and lifted his feet off the ground.

  Archie kept walking, sharing a brief smile with Gemma over Jason’s shoulder. He could see Barney beaming at him and giving him a thumbs up through the helicopter’s rear window, then his father appeared round its nose.

  Richard Hunt approached Archie and gave him a warm, tired smile.

  ‘Good to see you, kiddo,’ he said, placing a hand on his son’s shoulder. ‘Nice flying, by the way. I knew you’d turn out to be an ace.’

  ‘Really?’ Archie asked, wrinkling his nose. ‘How come you grounded me then?’

  ‘I didn’t ground you,’ Richard laughed. ‘As I was trying to explain before we were run off the road – I couldn’t take you flying while I was helping Cranfield with its study because they constantly monitor the Dragonfly’s flight data recorder.’

  ‘So they would have known you were letting me fly the plane,’ Archie concluded, blushing a little at the thought of his tantrum. ‘And you would have been in serious trouble.’

  ‘What did you think? That I didn’t believe in you?’

  Archie studied the ground and shrugged.

  ‘You wally,’ Richard laughed, ruffling Archie’s tangled hair. Then he pulled his son towards him and wrapped both arms round his ribcage, holding him tightly against his body. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ he whispered into Archie’s hair.

  Archie closed his eyes and squeezed his father as tightly as he could. Then he looked up at him. ‘If you’re really proud, you could show it by letting me fly the Dragonfly round here for a few days?’ he said hopefully. ‘The views are awesome.’

  Richard gave his son a wry smile. ‘Nice try, kiddo. Unfortunately, I think you’re about to be debriefed by MI6, then we’ll have to fly straight home.’

  ‘Can’t we even go for a pizza in town?’

  ‘You know the rules,’ Archie’s father said, shaking his head apologetically. ‘Even for STINKBOMB agents, bedtime is nine o’clock. Especially on a school night.’

  The classroom window was intensifying the afternoon sun and Archie was struggling to stay awake. He hadn’t made it to bed until 1 a.m. and then he’d lain awake for hours having drunk too much Coke on the British Airways flight home from Nice.

  As his eyes drooped he mentally replayed the events of the last few days. Moore the Bore’s nasal voice was droning in his ears as he remembered his conversation with Highwater and Grey who had arrived at Nice airport about fifteen minutes after he’d landed the Dragonfly on the hel
ipad. They had taken him, Barney and Gemma to a quiet corner of the Business Class departure lounge to debrief them on the mission.

  They were told not to tell anyone else anything about their activities over the past few days, which seemed pretty obvious really. Highwater confirmed that STINKBOMB was to be made an official agency within MI6 and, given the success of its first assignment, its personnel were to remain unchanged.

  As promised by the DG, Highwater had been offered a promotion to Head of Surveillance. But to Archie’s surprise and delight she had turned it down – preferring to remain in her present position as Initiative Commander of STINKBOMB.

  Secret training details were to be arranged after school and at weekends to sharpen the agents’ trade craft in readiness for their next mission, whenever and whatever that might entail. On Saturday, Archie and Barney would spend the day at an MI6 safe house learning surveillance recognition techniques and taking part in memory training exercises.

  ‘Mr Hunt.’ Moore the Bore’s voice was weirdly close and yet distant at the same time. ‘Mr Hunt! Are you on the planet?’

  Archie sort of knew his head was lolling and he could feel a string of saliva running down his chin but he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes. Only now was the stimulating effect of the caffeine in his system wearing off and he really needed a sleep.

  THWACK!

  The sudden stinging sensation in his right ear snapped Archie out of his cosy slumber and deposited him rudely back in the classroom, where every pair of eyes stared at him. Pressing his palm against his burning ear, he twisted to glare angrily at Harvey Newman, who was flexing a shatterproof ruler and grinning at him.

  ‘There you go, Miss,’ Newman giggled. ‘Sleeping Ugly is awake now.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Newman,’ Miss Moore said in her dreary monotone. ‘Although I would advocate a slightly gentler approach to waking a fellow classmate in future.’