Blackest Night

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  “Well I just ate an entire pint of ice cream tonight, so I’d rather you didn’t see me looking like a bloated water buffalo.”

  He crawled back onto the bed on his knees, his hands returning to my shorts. He dipped his head to mine. “You’re gorgeous.” He nipped at my jaw. “Your curves are perfect.” He nibbled my ear. “And I want to see you.” He crushed his lips to mine as he gave my shorts a tug. He forced my mouth open and shoved his tongue inside, stroking mine. I was breathless and trembling a bit when he pulled away so that he could yank my shorts all the way off, along with my panties.

  He stripped me of my shirt and bra next, and then straddled my thighs, running his lust-filled gaze slowly over every inch of me from there up. His index finger traced up my hip and over my pelvic bone, then skimmed along my ribcage and over the swell of one breast. Then he dipped it between them and dragged it down over the softness of my belly. “Every curve perfect,” he whispered. And then his fingers delved lower and I forgot my insecurities entirely.

  I forgot everything.

  There was nothing but the sounds of my moans and cries mixed with his husky whispers and groans. His fingers on me and in me. His mouth torturing me.

  I bucked and whimpered and kicked out and fisted the sheets. I slammed my head into the pillow so many times I was sure it would be permanently flattened. I clawed at his skin, digging my nails into his back, and pulled at his hair. I ignored his growled warnings and threats, eager for whatever punishments he would dole out.

  I gasped when he turned me over and stung my backside with his palm. My shocked inhalations quickly turned to breathy moans as he did it over and over until I couldn’t take anymore, and that’s when he took me. Just like that, pinned down on my stomach, pressed deeper into the mattress with every hard thrust. One hand bore down on my shoulder and the other gripped the headboard as he pistoned his hips and drove into me. I bit the pillow to muffle my cries and clawed at the sheets.

  I never wanted this to stop. I needed this so bad. I needed him, because only he brought this out of me. These desires would still be buried deep if it weren’t for him, and I knew no one else would ever be able to give me what he did. He didn’t hold back. He demanded I give him everything, but then he did the same. He gave me all of him. He unleashed his darkness and it collided with mine in a beautiful storm of fury and passion that ignited my bones and sparked my soul.

  He wrung every drop from me, every last cry, until my voice was hoarse, my bones were liquefied, and my sex was raw and tender. Nikolai collapsed on top of me and then we rolled until we were a tangle of sweat slicked limbs, both of us breathing hard. It wasn’t long before I was asleep in his arms, and like the night before, I slept soundly.

  I expected to find him gone when I woke in the morning, but as I stirred, I felt his warmth beneath me. I blinked my eyes open to the sight of his tanned and tattooed chest, dusted with a smattering of coarse hair. I groaned and glided my hand, which lay on his belly, up over his chest, and traced my finger over Elijah’s name that was scrawled across his heart.

  The arm that was curled under me began to stroke up and down my back. I tilted my chin up to see his pale blue eyes watching me. Then his hand slipped lower down my back “Good morning, sunshine,” he said, grabbing a handful of my backside.

  I smiled and hitched my thigh a little higher on his. “It is a good morning.” His hardness twitched against my leg and I bit back a smirk. He let out a long groan and squeezed me tighter to his side by my ass.

  “Is your grandmother a late sleeper?” His voice low and raspy from sleep.

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “Then you’re going to have to be quiet.” He rolled me to my back and reached for the string of condoms we’d left on the nightstand. He tore one free and then tossed the packet down on the bed beside us.

  By the time he rolled it on and pushed inside me, I think I’d forgotten about being quiet. He kept shushing me, even as low, throaty groans, rumbled from his chest with each slow, hard thrust. He didn’t restrain my hands this time, and allowed me to run them up and down his back, scoring his flesh with my nails, digging them into the meaty areas of his back and ass. He stuffed a corner of the blanket in my mouth at one point to quiet me, and then sank his teeth into my shoulder to silence his own grunts and curses.

  This time our fucking wasn’t frenzied and savage. It was still rough and hard, but slower. He peppered my body and mouth with kisses, stroked his hands up and down my skin. It felt more like a form of worship than fucking and I came twice before he finally emptied into me.

  I think we both fell back asleep before we finally found the strength and will to get out of the bed. I tried to pretend I wasn’t totally mortified when we descended the stairs and found Grandmama in the living room with the volume on the TV turned up louder than she would normally have it. I wondered how quickly I could sneak Nikolai out the door, but Grandmama heard us and then it was too late. She lurched out of her recliner, flipping the TV off, and made a big deal out of greeting Nikolai.

  “Good morning, Cassandra and Cassandra’s handsome fellow.” She hurried as fast as her arthritic limbs would carry her to us. “Come on,” she grabbed my wrist. “There’s breakfast in the kitchen. You both must be starving.”

  I choked on a cough and felt my cheeks grow hotter.

  Suffice to say, the entire morning up to the point I walked Nikolai to the door was mortifying. Grandmama dragged us to the kitchen for breakfast, not even giving Nikolai the option of turning it down. Then it got worse.

  As she served him his plate of toasted sweet bread and sausage and fruits, she asked him if he intended to marry me. He was the one to choke this time, on a bite of sausage. Grandmama laughed and then waved her hand in jest, assuring him she was only kidding, but all through the meal she had her fun, until I think Nikolai couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I was sure my face looked like a tomato.

  “Your grandmother is an interesting woman,” he said once we were alone, standing out by his truck.

  “That’s one word for it,” I mumbled through my embarrassment.

  “It’s okay,” he laughed, pulling me into his chest and kissing the top of my head. “I like her.”

  “You do?” I pulled away and looked up at him.

  “Yes. I do.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “She’s funny. And feisty. Like you.” He caught my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged on it before pressing his lips to mine. I grinned against his mouth and fisted my hands in his shirt.

  He pulled away slightly. “Do you have to work today?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t work again until tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to go pick up my rental car. I was supposed to do it yesterday, but didn’t get around to it.” And once the check from the insurance company came, I would have to go car shopping. Something I was dreading without my dad here to go with me and be the hardass to make sure I didn’t get taken advantage of.

  “Have you heard from the mechanic?”

  “He called yesterday. My car is toast, and it would appear that the brake hose was cut.”

  “Dammit Cass, why didn’t you tell me that?” Now he looked angry. I didn’t think it was really me he was angry with, even if he was sort of yelling at me.

  “Well, I wasn’t speaking to you when he called, and it sort of slipped my mind last night.”

  “Have you filed a police report?”

  “Do I need to?”

  “Cassie,” he lowered his voice to the tone of a parent scolding their child, “your brakes were cut. That means someone cut them.”

  “Yeah. I guess that’s pretty bad, huh?”

  “Cassie, someone tried to kill you, or at the very least, injure you.”

  When he said it like that, it really started to sink it.

  “I guess I should call the police,” my voice shook a little.

  He rubbed his hands up and down my biceps. “Yeah, you should. I can go with you if you want. I’m not working to
day. I just need to check in with Spencer. He has Eli this morning. Promised to take him to the offices and show him where we train and shoot. I’m supposed to pick him up there this afternoon, but I can call Spence and see if he wants to hang out with him a little longer. I’m sure Eli’s having a great time.”

  “Okay. If you don’t mind. I don’t really know what to tell the police.”

  Nikolai called Spencer, but before he could ask about Eli he got some bad news.

  “He what?” he practically yelled into the phone. “How the hell did he pull that off, and what are we doing to find him?” The conversation went on like that for a few minutes and I was able to figure out that Eli’s step-dad had disappeared. I fully expected Nikolai to bail on me after that, but surprisingly I heard him tell Spencer he had something to take care of and asked if he would keep Eli until this afternoon. When he hung up, I asked him if he needed to leave, but he just told me to go inside and get dressed.

  Grandmama stopped me on the stairs to inform me that she liked my fellow. This was a shock considering she knew what we’d been up to last night and this morning, but it was also a relief. Grandmama was a good judge of character, and if she liked him, it meant I wasn’t crazy to think there was something there underneath the hard and rough exterior.

  His lips twitched with a smile when I climbed up in the truck and told him what Grandmama had said. He didn’t comment, but I think it pleased him. I was just relieved his mood seemed to have calmed. He’d looked pretty murderous after the phone call.

  The police station didn’t take long and then Nikolai took me to get my rental car and then suggested we stop by my insurance agency to give them a copy of the police report and to speed up the process of them issuing the check for my totaled car.

  When we left my insurance agent’s office, Nikolai suggested grabbing lunch. I was a little shocked that he didn’t appear to be in a hurry to get rid of me. That was a nice change. We drove to a local place known especially for their brunch, and we stayed a while after we’d cleaned our plates.

  The next day I was able to pick up the insurance check and Nikolai took me car shopping. He drove me from lot to lot and we argued over gas mileage and reliability versus paint colors and fancy controls. I’m sure you can guess which were at the top of my priority list, but Nikolai managed to talk me out of the brand-new cherry red Charger with the pretty interior and the payments I would have had to sell my body to afford.

  “But it’s so pretty,” I whined.

  “Sorry, pet, you can’t have that one.” He steered me toward a not quite new silver Subaru Crosstrek with low mileage and a better price tag. After test driving it, I did fall a little bit in love, but I still gave the Charger wistful looks as I headed inside to sign papers on the Subaru. After talking the salesman down to a price all three of us could live with, Nikolai had to leave me to get to work. The actual paper signing and finalizing felt like it took forever. I was hungry and tired when I left the dealership, but I had a spanking new—or spanking new to me—car.

  I wanted to show it off, so I texted Reggie and made him meet me for dinner and drinks at our favorite bar. Today had been a good day and for the first time, I actually felt like going out with a friend.

  Burgers and beers and watching Reggie hit on our cute server was the perfect ending to this day. The poor kid didn’t know what to do with Reggie. He left our table blushing every time, but in the end, Reg tipped him well, so the kid probably wouldn’t mind that Reggie had flirted with him.

  We said goodnight in the parking lot, after I made Reggie sit in and admire my car. I was about to back out of my parking spot when I realized I hadn’t grabbed my debit card after paying my check. It was still in the black book sitting at our table. Reggie and I had been in the middle of a conversation and I walked away without grabbing it after our server brought it back to me. I put the car back in park and ran back inside.

  It was only after I came back out, with my card this time, that I realized the parking lot was a little bit creepy in the dark, when you were alone. Most of the parking was around the side or in the back. I was parked out back and as I rounded the corner from the front of the restaurant, I picked up my pace. It was chilly, and I got one of those prickles on the back of my neck that made me nervous. I didn’t see anyone else in the parking lot until I rounded the corner again out back. Someone was standing beside my car. I could just make out their outline. Whoever it was wore dark clothing with a hood pulled up, which prevented me from being able to see their face. I only knew they were looking at me. I stopped short, unsure of what to do. They were just standing there, watching me. I looked around. Yup. We were alone. I looked back. The creeper was still staring.

  Not wanting to get mugged or worse, I turned around and calmly (not calmly at all) sprinted back inside. I didn’t care if I looked like a crazy person. Inside I dialed Nikolai right away.

  “There’s a crazy person standing by my car?” I huffed out, a little short of breath from the sprinting.

  “Slow down, what about a crazy person and your car?”

  “I met Reggie at a bar for dinner. I forgot my debit card, so I had to go back inside and when I just went out to my car to leave, there was someone in a hood standing beside my car, watching me. Like they were waiting for me or something.”

  “You need to ask the manager to send someone out there to check it out, but I don’t want you to go back out. And given that we still don’t know who cut your brake hose, I don’t want you to drive it until I can check it out.”

  “But I just got it,” I whimpered.

  “I know, pet, but you can’t take any chances. Call a ride and I’ll get over there first thing in the morning.”

  I did what he asked, but when the manager and one of the servers went out back, they returned and said they didn’t see anyone. I ordered a car from the app and waited inside the bar until my ride showed up. I sulked like a child who’d had their new toy taken away the entire drive to my house. If the psycho creep messed with my car the same day I got it, I was going to be pissed.

  I was dropped off in front of the house. I thanked the driver and then he drove off before I even made it up the walk. I heard another car coming down the street and turned to glance over my shoulder. It was a light-colored sedan, and it slowed as it neared my house. I don’t know what it was about it that struck me but rather than continue inside, I watched it. It rolled slowly down the street until coming to an almost stop in front of my house. I couldn’t see inside the car, but I got the same neck prickling feeling.

  I bolted for the door and almost tripped going up the steps. I let myself in and hurriedly locked the door behind me. The house was quiet, so I assumed Grandmama was in bed. After making sure the back door was also locked, I ran up the stairs and shut myself inside my room. I called Nikolai again and told him about the car.

  “Relax, Cass, it might have been nothing. You’re probably just on edge. You didn’t see the car at the bar, did you?”

  “I don’t know, I didn’t see it all that well just now. It was white, or maybe silver, or it could have been beige. All I know is that it gave me weird, creepy vibes, like whoever was in the car was watching me, just like at the restaurant.”

  “Your doors are locked?”

  “Duh.”

  “Okay, look out your window and see if you see it.”

  I went to the window that looked out over the street and drew the curtain back. I didn’t see it. “It’s gone.”

  “Then it was probably nothing. Get some sleep, pet, and I’ll come over and get you in the morning.”

  “You don’t have to work?”

  “I have a night shift tomorrow, so after I get Eli to school, I’ll be there, and we’ll go check out your car.”

  Feeling slightly calmer after hanging up with Nikolai, I got ready for bed. I only looked out the window half a dozen times to make sure the car hadn’t come back before I finally got into bed. The next morning Nikolai did pick me up and drove me t
o my car. After a thorough inspection, he declared it perfectly safe. I worried he’d think I was crazy and had exaggerated or overreacted to everything last night. He didn’t though. He kissed me on the head and told me to drive to the restaurant down the street where he bought me coffee and breakfast.

  Like car shopping yesterday, it almost felt like we were a normal couple. I knew that we weren’t, and in the weeks that followed we didn’t have many more days like that.

  Our time together became limited to nights. He’d find time between work and relieving the nanny to sneak over to my place. Or he’d call late at night after Eli was in bed and I’d go over there so he could wear us both out in the best way possible. Afterward, he’d slip from my bed, or I’d have to crawl from his at the crack of dawn. There were moments, before we said goodbye, where we’d both lay there, wrapped around each other, and we’d talk about our days or whatever random thoughts were on our minds.

  Those moments never lasted long, though, and then I was reminded of what we were doing. After three weeks, it was starting to feel like not enough. I was craving more than the sex. I wanted to go back to those couple days where he acted and felt like my boyfriend. But he wasn’t.

  I knew that getting my feelings involved at all was playing with fire, but those moments were the reason I kept going every time he called or texted. Those moments were why I waited at home every night hoping for a call or text. And it started to hurt a little more each time he left me alone in my bed, or reminded me that it was time for me to get going. But I couldn’t walk away. Some nights I’d tell myself to turn my phone off. Just one night. Go just one night without him, I’d tell myself.

  I couldn’t do it.

  I’d avoid Grandmama’s knowing eyes as I kissed her cheek, and then hang my head on my way out the door, because she didn’t have to say a word for me to know what she wasn’t saying. It was in her eyes.

  What are you doing, baby girl?

  I hope you’re being careful.

  I couldn’t even assure her, or myself, that I was.

  And I doubted, if I asked her now what she thought of Nikolai, she’d say the same thing she had when she first met him. I think she knew what was becoming clear to me. I was in over my head with him. But isn’t that how it happens? By the time you realize how deep you’ve gone, it’s too late to turn around and go back. You’re already drowning.