Guided Love (Prick #1)

by Tracie Redmond

  “Hey, Ma, how is everything going?”

  “Oh, dear boy, its good; just making a list of the stuff I am gonna need for the barbeque.”

  “What barbeque? We just had one.”

  “Oh, silly boy, this barbeque is to say goodbye to Sam.”

  “Say goodbye?”

  “Yes, son, she’s leaving on Sunday and I thought that we would have a barbeque on Saturday so that she doesn't leave with an empty stomach.”

  I have no words, I sit there on the phone just quiet.

  “Axel, things will work out, son. You know that she needs to go. She needs to find her strength, she needs to find herself, son; she doesn't know who that is anymore. When she comes back, she needs to come back based on her own decision.”

  “I know, Ma, I know. Well, I gotta head off; I have an appointment coming in, I just wanted to check in on you is all.”

  “Okay baby, remember tell all the pricks about the barbeque, okay. 5:00”

  “Okay, Ma, I’ll see you then.”

  I hang up and get ready for this fucking tattoo that I don't want to do. I head out front and hear people entering the shop.

  “Your appointment is at your station,” Carrie says with a smirk on her face.

  Damn, I hope it’s not Molly or Gina, my patience can’t take a chicken head that just wants a cock to suck. On second thought, maybe a blowjob will take my mind off the fact that Samantha is fucking leaving and she hasn’t even mentioned it to me; not that she would have to. I mean, I thought we had become close since everything went down. I shake my head at Carrie and head down to my station. I walk in the door without even looking at the girl sitting at my chair. I turn my back and start to grab my supplies from the cabinet.

  “This isn't going to hurt, is it?”

  I am reaching into the cabinet to grab a new package of tubing when I hear her voice. I stop and turn around with a smirk on my face.

  “What the hell? Samantha?”

  She is smiling like she hasn’t smiled in weeks.

  “Hi, Axel.”

  “You’re my seven o'clock appointment?”

  “Yeah, I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo. I’ve always wanted one, but have been scared out of my mind to get one since I hate needles.”

  “Why get one now? I am still gonna use needles.”

  “Well, I sat down and came up with my bucket list; getting a tattoo was one of them. I won't go anywhere else to get one.” She starts to fiddle with her shirt and looks down at the ground.

  “You okay? It’s not going to hurt that much.”

  She laughs and looks up and I see tears in her eyes.

  “Damn, Samantha, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, just gonna miss everyone here.”

  “Miss us?”

  She wipes her eyes and nods at me. “Yeah, I booked my flight back to California. I leave on Sunday.”

  I nod and gather everything on the tray. “Well, everyone will miss you too, Rice Cake.”

  She laughs when I use the nickname that everyone else calls her.

  “No Axel, you don't call me Rice Cake. It doesn't sound right.”

  “What? Why can't I call you Rice Cake?”

  She is still laughing at me. “It doesn't sound right. To you, Axel, I’ll always be Samantha.”

  I turn my head to the side and look at her. “You're right. You will always be my Samantha . . . I mean, Samantha, to me.”

  Damn, that was a close one, but I think she bought the cover up.

  “Okay, what are you wanting a butterfly, a flower . . . oh, let me guess: a heart?”

  “Hell no! Do you think I look like the butterfly tattoo type? No, I found a quote written by a very intelligent man and I would like that, please.”

  “Okay, where are we tattooing this intelligent man’s words?”

  “I would like it on my right wrist please, that way I can look down and see it each and every day.”

  “Sounds good, beautiful, now what are the words of wisdom that you want?”

  She reaches in her front pocket and hands me a piece of paper. I take it and look down and I am shocked.

  Through the rough waters, I will find my way home.

  My words. The words that I painted on the wall in Ma's house. I look up and I can see she is nervous.

  “You want these words?”

  She is biting her lip and nods. “Yep”

  “These words are not words of wisdom, they are just simple words from a very simple boy.”

  “Well, they mean the world to me; Axel, that’s what I want.”

  “Well, okay then, let’s get started.”

  Thankfully, she is wearing a short sleeve shirt; we get everything prepped and I begin. I know I put my art on a bunch of people every day, but this is completely different. I am tattooing my words, my own words, on the one girl that I wish I could call mine. I take my time, as I see that she is really uncomfortable. I try to talk about random facts to take her mind off the pain and it seems to help.

  “So, tell me, how is everything going with your book?”

  Once I ask, a light goes on in her eyes, the sadness that she carries is gone, and all you see is happiness. She tells me everything; she talks with such excitement that I can feel it as well.

  “I think it’s going well. I’m using an old type writer that Ellie put in your room and it seems to be flowing. I’m about half way done and my friend, Gabby, is going to edit it once it’s done; I hope I might actually publish it. Maybe.”

  She is still telling me about publishing while I put on the ointment and covering.

  “You should absolutely publish it. It’s going to be an awesome book.”

  She looks up at me and smiles, a real smile; not the ‘my heart is broken and I am faking it’ smile.

  “You don't even know what the story is about.”

  “I don’t need to know. I know you and, like I said, it will be awesome. So, what do you think?”

  I motion downward and she her mouth is open.

  “Wow, it looks great, Axel; thank you so much.”

  I start to put the bandage on and give her all of the instructions on aftercare. I think that she knows them by heart now that she has helped Carrie at the desk. She is staring at it and I am so happy that she likes it, I am so happy that I was the one that she trusted to mark her body. I want to tell her this, to thank her for that opportunity, but Carrie is in the doorway with her high-pitched squeal looking at Samantha's wrist.

  “Wow! That looks great, Rice Cake. Congrats on your first tat. The first of many, I bet.”

  “Not sure about that, we shall see.”

  Carrie is looking between us, realizing that she may have just interrupted something and it becomes a bit awkward.

  “Well, the front is locked up and everything is taken care of. I forgot that I told Paul that I would meet him. Hey, prick, could you take RC back to Ellie’s for me?”

  I’m cleaning everything up, with my back to them, when I answer, “Absolutely, no problem.”

  I hear Carrie whispering something to her and laughing.

  “Thank you, Care Bear, for all your help today. I really do appreciate it. On Saturday, Ellie is having another barbeque since my flight is Sunday morning. I hope you can make it.”

  “I’ll look at the schedule and see how the day is structured.”

  I chime in just to give her some relief.

  “You’ll be there, Carrie; I think we’ll reschedule the afternoon for Sunday afternoon and shut down. That way we wish her off in the proper prick fashion.”

  “Killer, I am so hungry for Ellie’s barbeque.”

  With that, she squeezes Samantha and gives me a wink on her way out.

  “Be good, kids.”

  I turn and finish wiping everything down and see Samantha really looking at the walls that are covered with pictures of tattoos that I have done.

  “Alrighty, Samantha, all is done. Let's head out.”

  I turn off the lights and
we walk through the back hall out to the parking lot. I punch in the alarm and arm it and we head toward my Camaro. She walks over and with a pout on her lips as she bats her eyelashes.

  “So, Axel, with me leaving on Sunday, wouldn't it be nice to let me drive her. You know it would be really . . . really nice of you.” She keeps batting her eyelashes like that is going to help.

  “Baby, it would be so nice, but there is no way in hell you are getting behind the wheel of my baby. Nope sorry, even with your most adorable pout going on, the answer is hell no.” She starts laughing and shaking her head.

  “Well, it was worth a try, right?”

  “I would have been disappointed if you didn't. Now, get in and buckle up; I’ll take you for a chocolate shake on the way home.” I make sure to stop off at the Sonic and we order two large chocolate shakes.

  “Hmm.”

  I look over at her, she has her eyes closed, and her lips wrapped around the straw. Fuck, I need to look away; I need to look away NOW, before I start praying to become the fucking straw. I look up at the ceiling and count to ten.

  “Well, you up for anything? Or would you like me to take you back to Ma's?”

  She lets the straw go, a drop of chocolate shake is on her lip, and I watch as she sucks in her lower lip, licking both of them.

  “What were you thinking?”

  I shrug. “Doesn't matter, we could head to Kester's one last time; grab a drink and shoot some pool if you are up for it.”

  I see she is really pondering this suggestion. I see it before she even speaks, she is nervous and gonna back out.

  “Um, no thanks; anyway, I am not ready to take a risk of running into Camaron. I have a lot to do before Saturday. Please just take me back to Ellie's.” I look at her with a sad acceptance of her wish and I just smile.

  “Okay, beautiful, to Ma's we go.”

  The car ride was comfortable and we talked about how she plans to independently publish her book once it’s ready. I pull up to Ma’s and shut the car off. She looks at me and starts to bite her lower lip again.

  “Well, thank you so much for the ride, Axel, and for the tattoo. This truly was the best way to start my new beginning.” She smiles down at her wrist and looks up and she has tears in her eyes.

  “Samantha, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, just gonna miss everyone. I . . .”

  “You what?”

  “It’s stupid, never mind.”

  “Samantha, tell me. What?”

  “Well, I know it sounds stupid, but I have never faced anything in my life alone. I have always had Camaron; now I am on my own and I need to figure out everything and I have no one to lean on. That scares the shit out of me, Axel.”

  She says this and immediately looks down. I reach across and lift her chin so she is looking directly into my eyes.

  “Samantha, you are not alone. You will never be alone, all right. I am always here, a phone call away. You need me, all you have to do is call. You can come back here whenever you are ready. There will always be a place where you belong here.” As I finish, one tear escapes her eyes and she is biting her lip trying to hold it in.

  My thumb wipes the tear off her cheek and I lean in; I can hear her take a breath and she closes her eyes. I lightly kiss her cheek and pull away. I look over her beautiful face and she opens her eyes and, for a moment, I see a light shining in them; but, suddenly, that light is gone and she is blank again. She reaches up and touches the spot where I just kissed her and shakes her head with a light chuckle.

  “Okay, well, thank you again for everything, Axel, I appreciate your kindness.” She reaches for the handle and I stop her from opening it.

  “What just happened?”

  She looks up again with those beautiful eyes; she hesitates and then says to me, “Nothing, thanks so much, Axel. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

  “Let me walk you to the door.”

  She has already opened the door and turns to me. “No need, I’ll be fine; drive safe, Axel.”

  With that, she slams the door and walks to the front door. I watch to make sure that she makes it in okay and closes the door behind her; the front light goes off. Now I drive home asking myself the entire way What the fuck just happened?

  What the fuck just happened? I can’t believe that I opened up like that and what's worse is that Axel freaking gave me the best response I have ever heard. He even wiped the tear from my cheek. When I saw him leaning in, my stomach turned into knots. I closed my eyes and wanted so badly for him to kiss me. Reality hit me when he kissed my cheek and pulled back. Wow! What the hell is wrong with me? I am lost. Two weeks ago, I was in love with my best friend. I made him have sex with me and disgusted him with one look; yet, here I am thinking that Axel would even consider kissing me and, BOOM, reality shows me that I need to fix me. I walk into the house and Ellie is sitting on the sofa looking through photo albums.

  “How did it go, dear?”

  I smile and take the seat next to her. “It went well, it didn't hurt nearly as bad as I was expecting.”

  I hold out my wrist and show her Axel's work.

  “That is beautiful dear, aren’t they the words on his wall?”

  “Yeah, when I read the words, they really spoke to me and I needed to have them with me.”

  “I see, well, it looks beautiful, dear. Come sit, let me show you a few pictures of my Tony.”

  We sit next to one another for two hours looking at old photo albums. Pictures of Ellie and Tony, when they were in their twenties, them in front of the home when they first bought it. I could see a small boy in the background riding a bike.

  “Is that Axel?” she looks at the picture and smiles.

  “Yes, dear, that’s him. That was the first day I met my boy. He came over and held out his hand and said, ‘Hi, I am Axel Davis, and I am your neighbor.’ He was so adorable you couldn't help but fall in love with him.”

  You could tell, with each picture, his middle school chorus concerts, his high school prom and finally his high school Graduation—they look at Axel with such love and pride. They do love him just like they would their own son. I am waiting for Ellie to hand me the next picture but I notice that she is fast asleep. I move and lie her down on the couch and cover her up. I make sure all the lights are shut off, doors are locked and head to the kitchen to shut that light off as well. I notice that her dinner plate is untouched and still on the table. I clean it up and put away all of the food that was left out. I get everything put away and head up to my room. I get ready for bed and set my alarm for the morning when I see that I have two text messages one from Camaron and the other from Axel. I click on Camaron’s, it’s the same as all the others that he sends.

  Camaron: I'm sorry Sam

  I hit delete and move on to Axel’s message.

  Axel: Samantha, I wanted to thank you again for allowing me the honor of tattooing your first piece. I also wanted to let you know, if you didn't already have a ride to the airport I can take you.

  I smile up at the message as he truly is such a nice guy.

  ME: Axel, Thank you for doing the tattoo I really do appreciate it. I was gonna just call a cab to the airport.

  Axel: A cab? No I’ll take you it’s not a problems

  Me: Are you sure? I don't want to inconvenience you

  Axel: It’s no problem. I’ll take you

  Me: Thank you so much, Axel, once again you are saving the damsel in distress

  Saturday came so fast. I woke to help Ellie with all of her preparations. She wanted the steaks and the wings to be marinating for a few hours, as well as the potato and macaroni salads to be done. I come down to find Ellie jamming out to Madonna's “Like A Virgin.” I stand at the doorway and smile as she has a spoon in her hand like it’s a microphone. I honestly want to cry as I have grown to absolutely love this woman. She is full of surprises and keeps me on my toes. I start to sing along and she jumps with surprise.

  “Oh good, Sam, you’re awake. I have the potato
es boiling and all of the ingredients for the macaroni salad on the sink over there. Go ahead, I’ll walk you through each step.”

  I smile up at her as she is actually going to share her recipes with me. Her most treasured possessions, I am getting them. We are just finishing up with the pasta salad when I hear Axel and the other pricks pull up. They all walk in and greet Ellie with such affection, followed by huge hugs to me. I see Ellie pat everyone on the head and welcome them but she looks a bit confused, which I have noticed a few times in the last few days.

  “Well, we’re missing Camaron. Where is Camaron?”

  Everyone turns and gets quiet and looks between Ellie and me.

  “Axel, son, where is Camaron?” She is looking around looking for him.

  Axel finally steps up and answers her. “Ma, Camaron couldn't make it today. Remember we all came to wish Samantha safe travels.”

  She looks up, smiles, and pats his cheek. “Of course I remember, dear, I just thought that her best friend would have shown is all.” We all are still a little confused by her actions but she is back to normal and chatting away like always.

  The food is delicious and everyone is enjoying themselves. I am so happy that no one has brought up the elephant in the room. They haven't asked what happened in those two weeks or what has caused all of this. I think they assume but they aren't prying; all I have heard about Camaron was from Carrie and all she told me was he has been MIA. She said that when she went up to check on him with the extra key that Axel had, the chain was on so no one could get through. I know he is alive, since he still is sending and I am still ignoring his messages.

  After we clean up and put away all the leftovers, we sit at the picnic table and they take turns talking about how much they are going to miss me. Paul and Allen both agreed that they will miss me the most because now they will have more to do on the check list. Carrie smacks both of them on the back of the head and shakes her head at them. Jay said he is going to miss my appetite, especially on Monday nights at Kester's when I order almost everything on the menu. He sends me a fist bump and I return it, like it’s our own personal hand shake. Carrie has tears in her eyes, now I have tears in my eyes. She looks up, takes a deep breath, and starts her prepared speech.